Title: Unprecedented
Author: Lyns
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my storyline.
A/N: picks up after Seeing Red.kinda.its hard to explain.Basically everything up to Seeing Red is as it was on the show but then my imagination takes over. just read and you'll see what I mean. I suck at explaining.
Distribution: Just ask first. Thanks.
Feedback: go for it. Nothing makes me feel more complete (
Summary: Things are changing, how will everyone deal?
*#*#*#*#*#*#*
It has been three months, six days and 4 hours since my world began to crumble around me and form a small pile of disaster around my feet.
Three months, six days and four hours since he tried to force me to 'feel', since I kicked him across my bathroom and watched him walk out of my life.
Two months to the day from when things got that bit worse, something I didn't think possible until recently.
Twenty three days since it all came to a halt as my fears were confirmed, since I sat down in a heap and cried myself numb till I thought there was nothing left, while my friends helped cook lunch and my sister watched cartoons, not one of them knowing the pain and confusion swimming through my veins like poison up above them.
I don't know when it happened. Or how exactly, and I'm not sure I ever will. All I know is it did happen.
I think I knew all along. From that very first second when that unspeakable thought floated through my mind as I watched mind-numbing TV one night, I think I knew. Even as I pushed it away and berated myself for considering a situation as ludicrous as the one I now find myself in, I was changing things. Making little adjustments to the way I acted, the way I live, in order to protect myself.
And now it's all happening too fast, there's no time to think as the days fly by unnoticed, allowing precious few moments in which to consider my current standing.
I can't tell my friends, they would never understand.
I could tell my sister but I know she'd be ecstatic and until I know how I feel I can't run the risk of having her opinion rub off on me, something which I know would be so easy to allow to happen sometimes.
And as for him? Who knows? He left, no sign for three months six days and four hours, no way of contacting him, no attempt by him to contact me, no way of letting him know.. although I still don't know if I would tell him even if I did find him.
That would mean admitting it to myself, something I am yet to really do. Perhaps it is time I did. It is real. It is my life now. And there's nothing I can do now to change it.
Maybe I just need to speak the words, say it aloud, shock myself back to the confusing reality I've been thrust into.
I slowly stand and look at myself in the mirror, silently telling my reflection to prepare itself for what it I am about to say.
I take a deep breath and speak.
"I'm pregnant."
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
A/N: this isn't my usual style of writing so please, if I suck at it - tell me and I'll refrain from using it again, if however it's tolerable please do let me know. Thanks.
More to come soon.
Author: Lyns
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my storyline.
A/N: picks up after Seeing Red.kinda.its hard to explain.Basically everything up to Seeing Red is as it was on the show but then my imagination takes over. just read and you'll see what I mean. I suck at explaining.
Distribution: Just ask first. Thanks.
Feedback: go for it. Nothing makes me feel more complete (
Summary: Things are changing, how will everyone deal?
*#*#*#*#*#*#*
It has been three months, six days and 4 hours since my world began to crumble around me and form a small pile of disaster around my feet.
Three months, six days and four hours since he tried to force me to 'feel', since I kicked him across my bathroom and watched him walk out of my life.
Two months to the day from when things got that bit worse, something I didn't think possible until recently.
Twenty three days since it all came to a halt as my fears were confirmed, since I sat down in a heap and cried myself numb till I thought there was nothing left, while my friends helped cook lunch and my sister watched cartoons, not one of them knowing the pain and confusion swimming through my veins like poison up above them.
I don't know when it happened. Or how exactly, and I'm not sure I ever will. All I know is it did happen.
I think I knew all along. From that very first second when that unspeakable thought floated through my mind as I watched mind-numbing TV one night, I think I knew. Even as I pushed it away and berated myself for considering a situation as ludicrous as the one I now find myself in, I was changing things. Making little adjustments to the way I acted, the way I live, in order to protect myself.
And now it's all happening too fast, there's no time to think as the days fly by unnoticed, allowing precious few moments in which to consider my current standing.
I can't tell my friends, they would never understand.
I could tell my sister but I know she'd be ecstatic and until I know how I feel I can't run the risk of having her opinion rub off on me, something which I know would be so easy to allow to happen sometimes.
And as for him? Who knows? He left, no sign for three months six days and four hours, no way of contacting him, no attempt by him to contact me, no way of letting him know.. although I still don't know if I would tell him even if I did find him.
That would mean admitting it to myself, something I am yet to really do. Perhaps it is time I did. It is real. It is my life now. And there's nothing I can do now to change it.
Maybe I just need to speak the words, say it aloud, shock myself back to the confusing reality I've been thrust into.
I slowly stand and look at myself in the mirror, silently telling my reflection to prepare itself for what it I am about to say.
I take a deep breath and speak.
"I'm pregnant."
*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
A/N: this isn't my usual style of writing so please, if I suck at it - tell me and I'll refrain from using it again, if however it's tolerable please do let me know. Thanks.
More to come soon.