You touched my heart, you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your hand
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

"Goodbye My Lover" - James Blunt

--

Lightly a sheet of rain fell through the grey sky, casting a dim shadowy mist. What was normally a beautiful meadow, bright and colorful with its lush trees and grass, was now a sight of mourning. A few hours prior, the small clearing had been packed with dozens of mourners, but as the flowers in front of the grave mounted and grew in number, the mourners left, until only a few remained. Now, only five girls remained. Two remained standing, while the other three were down on the ground, but of those three, only one continued to sob insanely; the other two - while mourning themselves - were mostly consoling their friend. She sat with her legs tucked under her, and her head buried in her hands completely, but her muffled sobs still escaped to the other girls.

Finally, one of the girls sitting down turned to her sobbing friend and quietly said, "Let's go, this is depressing." She rested her hand lightly on her friends shoulder and waited. No response came. Her black eyebrows lowered over murky blue eyes, shifting her expression to one of worry. "Nikki, come on."

"Leave me alone." Nikki said, shrugging away the hand on her shoulder.

"Staying here isn't good imotsan. You're just making it worse for yourself." She said again, trying to convince her friend.

"I know Rae... I just..." Nikki said, looking up with red, puffy eyes. "I can't leave him..."

A long silence stretched amongst the group. Nikki's eyes remained locked on the name in carved on the grave. Slowly she shook her head as if to shake away his death completely. "I just can't believe he's gone."

"We can't either..." Nikki looked over to the other girl sitting next to her. The youngest. Her teammate. He had been her sensei too, so she had been the last to stop grieving, except for Nikki herself. Raidon had before the youngest, but after the girls who were standing.

"You guys can go if you want; I'm going to stay here." She said looking up at the other girls.

"We're not leaving you here." Aiko, who remained standing, said with a sigh. The rain continued to fall, only harder now, plastering their hair to their faces. "You're going to get sick."

"I don't care Aiko..." Nikki said, burying her head again.

"Well we do." Now it was Lycan to talk.

Nikki sighed and turned her head towards the sky, watching the rain fall onto her face. She was blind to the concern of her sisters' and all she could see was the heavens mourning her fallen friend. Half of her was glad for the rain that washed away her tears, knowing somebody up there was mourning him as well, but another half felt like she was being upstaged; who up there loved him more then she did to cry for so long? Wasn't she the one who had lost the most important person in her life? He was her everything; her best friend, her first friend, he was her sensei, her protector, he was her whole heart, and he had taken her heart with him. A parting gift, her final good-bye, she had given him her heart, it was his to keep.

A new set of tears flowed down her face, as his voice rang out in her mind. His final hour kept replaying in her mind, and all she could think of was how many things she had done wrong, how if she had done this little thing differently or that little thing, maybe he would have survived. How maybe he would have lived to her eighteenth birthday, only a few months away. Instead, he barely made it past his thirty-second birthday. How unfair that was. "It's not fair." She cried, her body trembling and her voice breaking. "It's not fair..."

"We know it's not." Aiko said, as she seemed to be the only one who could get a grip on her words. "He was too young; but we can't stay here. You can't stay here. You're a wreck."

"Come on, let's get you home." Raidon said, rising to her feet. She held her hand out for her friend, but the brunette refused. She didn't even acknowledge the offer.

"It won't be home without him." A whisper. "I don't want to be alone there..."

"You won't be alone." Éclair said. "We'll stay with you, and you know Aiko and Gaara are staying for a couple of days."

"That's not what I meant." Nikki said coldly as she locked her dark blue gaze with Éclair's vibrant purple gaze. "Either way, I'm alone. Aiko and Gaara have their own room together. I... I haven't spent a night with out him in years." She said.

In a happier time, she would have been teased greatly for this fact; that she always slept in the same bed as him. But not now. Not anymore. They knew better. Sadly, it was true; she had grown so accustomed to being beside him nearly 24 hours a day, there was now a void throughout her being, as if a piece of her was missing. More like her whole being was more like it.

"We know... but you can't stay here..." Aiko said again, now fearing that her sister was planning to stay out here until she died as well. "We'll work through this." When Nikki didn't respond, Aiko heaved a sigh. What else could she do?

"You know, Aiko lost Gaara as well." Lycan said lightly, like a suggestion.

Nikki blinked in surprise, then turned at the waist to face her older sister. "They brought Gaara back!" She yelled, fury now mixing with her sorrow. "He's still here! Nobody's over going to bring Kakashi back! I'll never see him again!" As soon as the words escaped her lips, she bit her lip, regretting every word. New tears flowed down her cheeks as she shook her head. "Lycan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean too..."

"It's alright..." Lycan said, shooting a glance at Aiko, but Aiko's vision was clouded as she stared down at the ground, rain dripping from her dark eyelashes.

"Aiko?" Raidon asked, noticing her strange behavior.

"Nikki's right..." Aiko sighed. "I still get to see Gaara's face everyday. You still get to see Neji's, and you guys," She shot a glance at Lycan and Éclair, "still get to see Kiba and Naruto. I don't blame you for being angry."

Now, Nikki turned away and stared at the ground before lifting her gaze to the name in front of her; Hatake Kakashi. Slowly, she raised her arm, and brushed her fingertips across the engraving. The stone was cold and slippery beneath her fingers, but worse of all, she knew it was solid; it was real. She ran her forefinger across the letters, writing the name invisibly across the tomb. Then slowly, her hand dropped down and rested on her lap. "I shouldn't have though... In a way, we went through the same thing, but I cannot expect you to relate..." She shook her head, not really sure what she needed to say, not sure how to word it properly. "Thinking of you and Gaara happy together, makes me feel better. Just thinking of how happy you two are, or how happy Rae and Neji, and Clair and Naruto, and Lyc and Kiba, just makes me happy; I guess just seeing you guys happy. But it makes me wonder, you guys all make beautiful couples, were... Kakashi and I like that?" She asked, continuing to stare at the stone.

"Nikki..." Éclair said first, a smile on her face. "You two were the cutest couple. I always knew you two liked each other, before you even started dating. It was always cute watching you two walk around town, holding hands and smiling... and laughing..." Nikki smiled weakly.

"You want to know what I always thought was funny." Raidon said, chuckling. "How much you enjoyed it when we harassed you about how much older he is." Now Nikki chuckled as well. "We were the only ones who could tease you about it, but you always accepted it, and just played along with it."

"I did, didn't I?" She wiped away the rain and tears that mixed like paints on the palette of her face.

"Well, I wasn't surprised when you two finally admitted you were a couple." Lycan said. "How long were you dating before you admitted it?"

"About a year." Nikki said.

"How'd you keep it a secret so long?" Éclair asked with slight shock.

Nikki merely shrugged. "Oh come on, you saw how hard it was for us to hold hands in public for the first few weeks. We never could kiss in public."

"Not your fault." Raidon laughed.

"Nah." Nikki denied. "You never caught us making out in a restaurant? It wasn't common, but after awhile, I'd just get annoyed and off with the mask." She chuckled. When they shook their heads, she exaggerated as she let her mouth hang open. "Gasp." She said weakly.

"Nikki's back!" Lycan teased. It was true; slowly bits and pieces of the old Nikki, the happy one, slipped out as a smile slid across her face, replacing the tears. However, by now, nobody could tell who was crying anymore; the rain still gave the affect of tears flowing down the gentle curves of their fair cheeks. What they couldn't see though, was that tears still flowed, only less in number then before.

"Okay, but I have to say, I thought you two were a great couple." Aiko said. "What I loved the most, was how you two didn't care about your age difference. You cared more about protecting him because of what other would say about the difference. You two always protected each other." Nikki's lips were turned up slightly, but not enough to be a smile as she turned back to stare at his grave; not ignoring Aiko, just taking in the compliment with her fallen beloved. "And I loved how you two weren't a sappy couple, well, you were, but in your own way." Then she shrugged. "There was just something unique about you two as a couple that I can't explain, but I could always see, even if you weren't kissing or being all gushy, you were being a couple, you know?"

And they did understand, although none of them could fully explain it.

"Thanks..." She finally said with a sigh. "Help me up." They rose to their feet then all but Nikki turned ready to leave. "Just, give me one minute. I'll catch up."

"You sure?" Raidon asked.

Nikki nodded and smiled lightly. When they started walking away, she looked back down at the grave. She crouched and placed her hand above his name then whispered to the grave - to him - quietly. "I promise this won't be in vain. I love you... more then anything. I always will, so please don't look down upon me for getting vengeance. I can't let him live." She paused. "Wait for me, alright? I promise I'll never let anyone replace you, if you never replace me." She rose to her feet again, and before turning to follow her sisters she said to herself, "I hope we will not be separated for two long." Then, she turned and walked away to the girls that stood, waiting patiently for her.

--

Walking as silently as possible, she peeked into the bedroom of the lovers, making sure they were both lost in slumber. When she felt certain they were both deep asleep, she walked into the small living room, following her instinct and her knowledge of the home, for there was not enough light to trust her eyes. When she reached the couch with the small coffee table in front of it, she reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, and placed on the table so it would easily be found. She stared at it for a minute, hearing its words replaying in her mind, the words she had wrote only moments earlier. Then she turned away towards the door, clutching the backpack strap across her shoulder. This was what she wanted to do, and she had no regrets. She only feared her faithful companion had been awoken and had taken pursuit, but every time she checked, she was alone.

She took one last, long look at the house - her home - then walked out, closed the door lightly, and ran off, determined to complete this task.

--

Aiko,

I'm sorry to say that by the time you read this, I'll probably be long gone. There's just something I need to do elsewhere. I also can't stand to be in this house right now; there's just one too many memories. I need to heal. I promise to return, so please don't fret over me. There should be enough food if you two are going to stay much longer. Thank you so much for all your help in this hard time. I wish you both a safe journey home. Please tell Raidon, Éclair and Lycan I won't be gone long, and pass on my thanks and love.

Much love,

Nikki

P.S. Shikamaru wanted us to pass this message along; tell Temari he sends his love as well.