I wrote this because I feel I haven't written as much romance fics as I have before, so I've decided to write another one. I figured that Chris, Chef and Blaineley would each date someone from the show, so I've decided to exploit this for my own entertainment, and hopefully your entertainment as well.
Disclaimer: If I owned Total Drama, most of the couples in this story would be canon.
Blaineley was getting ready for her date. To say that she was looking forward to it would be an understatement. She was freaking out because she was worried she may be running late. She rushed while she was in the shower and vigorously dried herself off with the towel and hairdryer. However, she took her time with putting on her make up. After all, rushing could ruin her make up, and ruined make up could ruin the date.
Soon enough, she was ready. She had on her usual attire: her red dress, her red high heels, her blond hair dye, her red lipstick, her eyeliner, you name it. Blaineley made sure she had enough money in her purse because as the wealthier partner of the relationship she felt it was only right that she should pay for the first date. She put the purse, along with her mobile phone, make up bag (in case of emergency), check book, packet of tissues, heart-burn relief pills, keys and ID. She didn't need any contraception, even though she plans on getting laid tonight with her date. She doesn't need to worry about catching STDs because she knew her date was clean despite being previously promiscuous. She also doesn't need to worry about getting pregnant, not because she was infertile, but because her partner was a woman. Yes. Blaineley's a lesbian. She may have flirted with Chef and Chris, but the reality is, she only did that for personal gain.
Blaineley was finally ready for the date. The reservation at that restaurant is half six, and by the time Blaineley was ready, it was a quarter past six. So Blaineley promptly grabbed the flowers she bought for her date, switched on the alarm, ran out the door, locked it shut, ran out the gate, locked the gate shut and upon doing so the limo arrived. Blaineley hopped in, relieved she didn't kept the driver waiting; otherwise she'd have to pay him extra. The driver hit the pedal and the limo was right on track for Blaineley's girlfriend's house.
Chef was in his shower room, shaving his face. He left his small beard and moustache alone because he knew they turned his date on. Yes, Chef was also going on a date that warm summer's night. Satisfied with how renewed his face looked, Chef splashed some cold water onto his face, dried himself off with the towel and applied some deodorant, cologne and antiperspirant.
His toenails and fingernails clipped, his body washed, his teeth brushed, his mouth washed and sprayed, his face shaved and his body freshened up, all that was needed to do was for Chef to get dressed. He had his suit readily laid out on the bed. Chef put on a clean pair of boxers, a clean pair of socks and a clean undershirt, all of them white. Next, he put on his yellow dress shirt, followed by his moss green tuxedo. With the brown belt, brown tie and brown shoes finally put on, Chef was finally ready for his date after he combed his bald head. With a handkerchief in his coat pocket, his phone and keys in one pants pocket and his wallet and a packet of condoms in the other, Chef grabbed the flowers and box of chocolates, switched on the alarm, locked up the house and gate and waited for the limo. The limo arrived and Chef climbed in.
A limo pulled up in front of a yellow two-storey house. Chris stepped out of the limo. He was wearing a baby blue tuxedo with a white shirt and red tie, black shoes and a shitload of hair-gel. He has the same preparation as Chef in terms of cleanliness, freshening and shaving, plus he brought the same apparatus for the date as Chef did, except Chris brought a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses in addition to the box of chocolates. With the flowers one hand, the box of chocolates in the other, Chris knocked on the door. A Cuban-Canadian looking teenager answered it.
"You're a couple of minutes early," said the young man, looking relieved. "Thank goodness. I'm sure you know how psycho my sis will get if her date is even just on time."
"That's what I find feisty about her," Chris smiled, handing the box of chocolates to the teenager. "Give these to your parents. Don't be too shy to sneak yourself a few of these sweats after your parents have opened the box when they're not looking. I've tried these before and they're delicious."
"Will do, man. Listen, my sis is still getting ready. She'll be down in a sec. Just make yourself at home. I left the TV on in the sitting room. It's on the sports channel."
The limo pulled in in front of the restaurant at exactly 18:29. Blaineley stepped out of the limo and held the door open. Out walked her date. She wore a lime green dress, lime green high heels and a lime green handbag.
"Thanks for the flowers, Mildred!" Izzy happily chirped.
"My pleasure, sweetie," Blaineley replied, kissing Izzy on the lips. The driver watched this from where he was sitting. That kiss was the only reason why he let them off without giving him a tip.
Blaineley led Izzy into the restaurant. It had a Chinese theme and the atmosphere was that of a warm temple during a warm evening in western China. Blaineley knew Izzy loved Chinese restaurants. It was not just because of the music and the cuisine, but also because of the fact that most of the staff members were Chinese. Izzy has an intense interest of people who are not Canadian, but especially the Chinese, the Irish, the Americans, the Japanese, the Mexicans, the South Africans, the Iranians, the Argentines and the French.
The waiter led Blaineley and Izzy to their table. They sat at their table and chat as they waited for the menus to arrive. However, just before the menus arrived, the table next to theirs became occupied by the very last people Blaineley wanted to see.
"Chris?!" gasped Blaineley.
"Blaineley?!" gasped Chris.
"Chris?!" gasped Izzy.
"Izzy?!" gasped Chris.
"Courtney?!" gasped Blaineley.
"Blaineley?!" gasped Courtney.
"Courtney?!" gasped Izzy.
"Izzy?!" gasped Courtney.
"What are you two doing here?!" Blaineley demanded.
"Going on a date!" Chris replied. "What are you two doing here?!" he demanded.
"Going on a date as well!" Blaineley replied. "And if you want to have a pleasant evening with your girlfriend, I'd suggest you avoid pissing me off!"
"Knowing you, anything we do would piss you off!" Courtney interjected. "So why don't you guys go book in to another restaurant?!"
"We were here first!" snapped Blaineley, banging her fist off the table.
"Well it's not my problem!" Chris huffed.
"Right this way, gentlemen," said the waiter, leading a couple to a table that was also close to the tables Blaineley and Izzy and Chris and Courtney were assigned. Blaineley, Izzy, Chris and Courtney gasped, along with the couple.
"Chef?!" gasped Blaineley.
"Blaineley?!" gasped Chef.
"Chef?!" gasped Chris.
"Chris?!" gasped Chef.
"Chef?!" gasped Courtney.
"Whiney girl?!" gasped Chef.
"Chef?!" gasped Izzy.
"Crazy girl?!" gasped Chef.
"Brick?!" gasped Blaineley.
"Blaineley?!" gasped Brick.
"Brick?!" gasped Chris.
"Chris?!" gasped Brick.
"Brick?!" gasped Courtney.
"Courtney?!" gasped Brick.
"Brick?!" gasped Izzy.
"Izzy?!" gasped Brick.
"Great," Chris muttered, "my other worst enemy right here in the same restaurant at the same time my girlfriend and I are on a date!"
"Aw, don't be like that," Izzy chimed in. "You two used to be boyfriends. What happened to you guys?"
"HE RUINED MY MOUNT CHIRSMORE STATUE AND LAUGHED HIS ASS OFF WHEN DUNCAN BROKE IT AND RIGGED THE BOMB UNDER THE DOCK I WAS STANDING ON AND LEFT ME TO GET ARRESTED!" howled Chris.
"HE SAT ON HIS ASS WHILE I DID ALL THE WORK AND RUINED MY GO-CARTS AND MESSED UP MY DAMN KITCHEN BUT EXPECTED ME TO CLEAN UP AND I'M STILL WAITING FOR MY FUCKING PAY CHECK!" howled Chef.
Blaineley couldn't help but laugh at this.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" howled Chris and Chef in unison. They both realised that they said this at the exact same time and glared at one another.
"Well you guys shouldn't have dated each other then," Blaineley smirked.
"Yeah, well your name is Mildred!" Courtney interjected.
"So?" Blaineley retorted. "The only reason I didn't want the public to know my real name was because I didn't want them to know too much about me. Besides, many famous celebrities have changed parts of their names to make stage names, such as Shane Dawson, Graham Norton and Chef Hatchet," she added, glaring at Chef. Chef gave Blaineley the finger.
"Guys, let's just sit at our tables," said Brick, having had enough of the fight. Everyone agreed. For the rest of the evening, the only people they talked to was whoever they were dating. That was until they heard a rant from another nearby table.
"Hey! Aren't you gonna take my lover's dinner?!" Trent demanded.
"You're… you're sitting by yourself," said the waitress, rolling her eyes.
"That's what it looks like to single-minded blasphemous heretics like you!" snapped Trent. "I am sitting with the number nine! Now take its orders!"
"How am I supposed to know what the 'number nine' wants?!" the waitress demanded, air-quoting 'number nine'.
Trent smiled. "Simple! By the Power of the Nine!" he replied. The waitress grumbled as she crossed off Trent's order – which was nine Wong Tong soups, nine plates of General Sao's Chicken and nine plates of chocolate ice cream – and wrote onto the notepad 'nine security guards'. She walked off to get the main courses for the other three couples.
Speaking of which, Blaineley, Brick, Chef, Chris, Courtney and Izzy were watching all of this. Blaineley, Brick, Chef and Courtney shook their heads in disapproval. Chris smiled because he was proud of himself for having psychos like Trent on his show. Izzy smiled as well because she wrote a list of eight people, all with four letters in their names, to hook Trent up with. Those names were Cody, Dawn, Zeke, Gwen, Mike, Noah, Owen and Zoey. Courtney turned to Chris and said:
"That display over there proves Gwen's poor taste in men."
"You know it," Chris smirked. "You obviously have the better taste, cos you're dating me."
"Shut up," Courtney blushed. They began to talk about money, fame, power and success, which was one of their favourite things to talk about. Brick and Chef talked about Chef's years in the army and Brick's military training, and their achievements so far in the military. Izzy and Blaineley talked about Izzy blowing stuff up and Blaineley ruling certain countries with an iron fist.
In the end, the couples had a nice evening. They enjoyed the food and their partners' company. It helped them to forget that their rivals were also present, and that Trent was also present.
Sadly, all of them had plans to do more this evening. And this wasn't the last the couples have seen of each other for the night.
It also wasn't the last they've seen of Trent.
So what do you guys think? Blizzy and Chrisney are my favourite femslash and mixed-slash pairings for the fandom, so I included them. My favourite slash pairing is either Lightnott or Brott, but since I wanted to include Chef in the chaos, I picked Bref. Brick is basically the most likely contestant who can stand Chef's food, so why not pair him up with Chef? Also, Trentnine will be another prominent 'couple' in this fic, and will serve as a comical device to annoy Blaineley, Brick, Chef, Chris, Courtney and Izzy throughout the course of the story. Some more of the characters will also show up just to annoy those six characters, and probably Trent as well, because they don't understand Trent's Number Nine Religion. This story idea is just too good to be just a one-shot.
Until next time!