OoO Falling Snow OoO

It was late at night. I silently slipped out the front door of my house, sliding it shut gently behind me so as not to wake the sleeping inhabitants within. I turned, and before I moved from the front stoop, I took in my surroundings.

It was dark, the many trees of our property gently swaying yet making no sound. Looking back at my shrine, no lights were on, and from inside, no shadows stirred. It was below freezing, and the slight wind stung my cheeks and lifted my hair, making me shiver in a good way. I could feel my pores open, drinking in the wind as though it were water. I was existing and not existing at the same time, ethereal. I exhale and can barely make out the responding cloud breath, watching it quickly dissipate. I wasn't cold, but alive, so damn alive. I could feel my skin tingle, my homeostatic mechanisms within working to keep me sustained.

It was invigorating. The wind, if it could have a smell, was crisp and fresh. It had a nice calming effect on me, clearing my mind and sharpening my senses. Looking up, I saw that not a single star was visible; just a black chasm that covered the sky in all directions. It was the night of the new moon, and I was hit with a sense of nostalgia. Not enough to bring me to my knees, but enough for me grimace in an invisible but tangible pain. Everything was eerily quiet, and had I been anyone else, I would have been scared; however, I was not. On the contrary, I was very content and comfortable with the unusual silence, as if being soothed by some unseen force. I could feel the darkness like a cloak around me, enveloping me within its void. Safe.

I stepped down the few steps that were in front of me and walked to a secluded patch of frost covered grass. I lie down, as though I knew what my purpose was. I could feel the slight tickle of the grass all over my back and arms, but I ignored it, pushed it to the back of my mind. I could also feel the dampness of the night through my kimono as my body heat warmed the ground, and I put my hands behind my head and felt my soft dark hair. Angling my neck so my eyes had the perfect view, now all I could see was the sky; nothing else did I allow to obscure my view. No house corners or roofs, streetlights, signs or fences. The coldness from the wind and the ground was welcomed. The mix between the chilly wind, moist clothing and my own body heat left me feeling content and relaxed as I gazed up into the sky, almost as if tranquilized.

Suddenly, I saw tiny, white crystalline flakes begin to materialize out of the darkness before me, floating gracefully down. Soon, my eyes were inundated; there were so many, and I couldn't focus on them all. No whisper of the wind, no gusts or disturbances to the air at all. Just the eerie descent of the snow. The scene was so beautiful, and yet I closed my eyes to the sight. I could feel the specs of ice land on my exposed face and neck, immediately melting. My hair was soon soaked with ice-cold water. I didn't care; it was as if I were being frozen in time, being shut out of reality.

I could hear my heart beating, feel my chest move up and down with slow, steady breaths. I could feel the blood flow within my veins, and I was allowed the think of nothing. I was nothing. My existence meant nothing.

I was so at ease I could have easily fallen asleep.

Abruptly, I heard a noise, like someone was slowly, quietly, stealthily making their way to the place where I lay. It was as if I knew these sounds, how they were produced and who was making them. The gentle swish of fabric, a breath being exhaled. These sounds I felt familiar with; I knew them. I kept my eyes closed, hearing them come closer and closer until I knew that they were before me, and yet, I still did not open my eyes. This moment would forever be engraved within my soul.

Something touched my frozen cheek then, soft and warm, yet ghostly, like it wasn't even there. Perhaps I even imagined the warmth. Lying in the piling snow, with my hands going numb from supporting the mass of my head and neck, time stopped and was racing away from me all at once. I sensed a compassionate being there with me, and I knew it was Him. No one else had ever made me feel so safe, so loved.

"Open your eyes, Kagome."

I did.

Silver hair more brilliant than the snow surrounding us and eyes so golden that the pending morning sun seemed bland and dull in comparison greeted my hungry eyes. Against a black and white animated background, I saw what could never be again, knew deep within my slowly beating heart that it was impossible. I felt hot tears gather at my lids, refusing to fall. He was here, in this moment, and he would forever be mine.

I tried to speak, but nothing would come out of my mouth. It was as if the snowflakes were casting a spell on me, on us. When I went to touch his cheek in much the same way he'd done to me, I found that I could not move my arms from where they were behind my head. I was in a state of alert sedation. Nothing would move except the snow and him. It seemed only my eyes would work. I wasn't even breathing as I watched him smile, so tenderly, and he bent down to give me a kiss that I could not feel, no matter how achingly I wished that I could. It was torture, agonizing, beautiful torture, and I wanted more. I could not feel his lips or hear his gentle breathing. It was enough to break my heart all over again.

I closed my eyes, allowing the tears to cascade down my cold cheeks as I ached to feel his touch.

"Wake up, Love."

I did. It looks like I fell asleep after all. My face is cold, and I realize that I'd begun crying in my sleep, dreaming of the unreachable.

I don't know how long I lay there, on the grass, but when I finally pulled myself up and looked around, a thin blanket of coagulated snow-covered the terrain, like a blanket caressing the landscape.

There were footsteps, there in the snow. Footsteps that were not mine.

He was gone. The dream was gone, and so was any hope I still had that he would come back for me if he could.

I began shaking from more than just the cold, and I stumbled back toward my home, glancing back only once to engrave the sight in my head.

OoO

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Keruseyu32691