Chapter One: Gator Aid
Lana Kane, alone in her apartment, was staring out of her balcony window over the East River, her tired, dark green eyes starting to create tiny tear droplets as she held her cell phone against her ear.
Cyril, her boyfriend, had been screaming obscenities at her, becoming progressively drunker, for almost an hour over the phone; he still believed that Lana cheated on him, even though she had explained to him a dozen times that she had used a sperm donor to conceive her baby, even going so far as to show him the paperwork from the clinic. Unfortunately, this did not make things any better.
Typically, Lana would not tolerate any degree of verbal abuse from anyone, especially Cyril, but she figured it was at least partially her fault for going through with the artificial insemination process without even telling him; she was mostly ignoring his drunken yelling, but she knew that they were over...how it was dragging out, however, made it all the more painful.
"Aaand another thing, Laaana, you are a...a total harlot, little Miss Cheaty McGee! How could'yoo do dish to me? Dammit, Lana, I loved you, I would've given you a baby if you asked, but noooooo, you just hadda go, and...and take it from a-a TURKEY BASTER! Oh, god..." Cyril slurred into the phone.
A loud "clunk" sound, followed by crying and a dial tone was all that was heard on the phone after that.
Lana, her emotions scrambled from the prolonged guilt trip and subsequent conclusion of their relationship, opened the sliding glass door to her balcony, and threw her phone in the direction of the river, and screamed in anger, hurt, and guilt.
She shut the glass door behind her, calming down, and rested her chin on her folded arms, leaning over the cold steel of railing, staring out into the balmy moonlit night. She watched the ripples in the river, and reflected on Cyril...
Her relationship with the ISIS comptroller had been the longest she had been in since her and Archer broke up 5 years ago. She often thought about Sterling, and, though she hated admitting it, still had very strong feelings for him, especially after his sacrifice down in Sealab.
Lana shuddered at the memory of seeing Archer die before her eyes, his pupils contracting to pinpoints as the icy ocean water filled his lungs...his dying words proclaiming his love haunted her. She knew he loved her, and she loved him as well, but the older memory of how often he cheated on her when they were together still made her sick.
"Oof, speaking of sick...oh boy..." Lana grabbed the guardrails and vomited over the edge, the sudden wave of nausea interrupting her thoughts.
When she finished being sick, she pulled out a packet of moist towelettes she had been toting around in her pocket and wiped her face, before slumping down into her plush deck chair.
"Goddammit, kid, why do you have to keep making me puke?", she said out loud to her growing belly. She was now three months along in her pregnancy, and was still being occasionally afflicted by nausea.
"Duh, Lana, maybe it's because you're channeling the ghost of Karen Carpenter..."
Lana, startled, looked over to her right; Archer was suction-cupped to the side of her building, wearing his night vision goggles.
"What the shit, Archer?! Why are you Spidermanning around my building? Oh, and Karen Carpenter was anorexic, not bulimic, dumbass", she helped him over the railing as Sterling climbed onto the balcony.
"Six of one, Lana. And I was just responding to the distress beacon thing your cell phone was sending out; shit, it was saying you were drowning...when I checked your location and it said you were at your place, I figured you just dropped it in the toilet while you were doing the technicolor yawn for like the bazillionth time. Glad you're all right, though, since you drowning would've been pretty counterintuitive to my awesome heroics", Archer said as he removed the cups from his knees and hands, put the goggles on top of his head, and switched off the beeping GPS tracker that was locked onto Lana's location.
"Oh, gotcha...um, sorry about that. Yeah, I just chucked my phone at the river. Surprised it made it into the water though. Didn't think I could throw it that far", Lana sat back down on her chair, her ankles getting sore and slightly swollen from being on her feet often.
Archer pulled up the smaller, plastic patio chair and sat next to her.
"Don't worry about it, Johnny Bench...so how's the kid treating you so far? Aside from apparently triggering your gag reflex whenever it gets bored, I mean", he asked, pointing his thumb at Lana's tiny, almost unnoticeable baby bump.
"Aside from the shitloads of vomit, it's been ok...but Cyril...he just...I mean, we just broke up a few minutes ago...that fucking asshole." She said the last part under her breath.
"Heh, well that doesn't surprise me. I'm actually impressed that you put up with that bespectacled douchebag for this long..."
Lana, her hormones getting the best of her, started to cry, much to Archer's dismay. She'd been crying easily ever since her second month.
"Aww, goddammit Lana, not again...okay, fine, c'mere, shh. It's all right, quit crying..." Sterling scooted his chair right next to hers, and hugged Lana close, rubbing her back; she buried her face into the warm, black fabric of his turtleneck shirt. He rolled his eyes, annoyed at how emotional Lana had been lately. He anticipated her being more pissed off than normal (he was used to Lana's wrath by now, seeing that he was usually the target of said wrath...), but the crying had been an obnoxious, unforeseen development.
After a few minutes of being comforted, Lana's tears finally stopped. She sniffled, and held onto Archer quietly. She closed her tired eyes, feeling safe and secure in her ex's arms. Sterling sighed quietly, and cradled the back of her head against his chest, staring at his boots, trying not to jostle Lana's rattled nerves and make her cry again.
With her increased hormone levels, Lana's sense of smell had been greatly heightened lately. She breathed in Archer's scent deeply, and could smell fresh sweat, a tiny waft of bourbon, bay rum (his favorite cologne), and the subtle hint of lavender aleppo soap, which also had a vague hint of bay laurel. Just like she remembered him smelling...she sighed at the comforting familiarity of him, and snuggled closer against Sterling.
Archer, struggling to keep his mouth shut (and his growing erection undetected), cleared his throat uncomfortably. Lana, snapping out of her dreamy daze, lifted her head off of his chest and let go of his torso.
"Sorry...", Lana mumbled. They sat next to each other in awkward silence for a minute, looking up at the full moon.
Sterling had been in love with Lana for years; he kicked himself mentally every day for cheating on her and treating her like dirt when they were dating, and had wished that he could travel back in time to beat the shit out of his younger self for doing so. But, unfortunately, Krieger's "time machine" was just an old phone booth with a tank of sevoflurane that pumped the sweet-smelling anesthetic inside of it with a digital clock duct-taped on the door...not exactly useful.
Archer caught a glimpse of Lana out of the corner of his eye. The pale summer moonlight illuminated her face, her makeup streaked with tears. She looked so sad, so tired, yet so beautiful, it made him cringe in regret.
Finally, Lana stood up, holding her small belly. She sniffled and looked down at Archer with a soft smile.
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight after what happened with Cyril, so I'm just gonna go in and watch a movie..." She walked back into her large apartment, Archer following her inside.
As she browsed through her video collection, Archer helped himself to her jade-tiled wet bar, which had been gathering dust since she became pregnant, and poured himself a tumbler of Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks.
"So, did you need me to hang out here with you while you mope around all night eating Häagen-Dazs, watching some chick flick, or should I go ahead and take off before y-ooh, Gator!"
Archer's rudeness was cut short as the opening scene of one of his favorite movies came up on the TV. He plopped down on the giant, overstuffed white suede couch, inches from Lana, a huge grin spread across his face. He sipped his drink happily, and settled into the comfy couch, eyes glued to the TV screen.
Lana scooted closer to Sterling, happy to see him enjoying himself and to have some company. As the opening scene played, Jerry Reed's funky swamp music played, sparking the memory of the night he gave the copy of Gator to her for their anniversary one year. At the time, she hated it and was infuriated at the selfish gesture, but kept it around purely for sentimental value.
Sterling absent-mindedly snaked his arm around Lana's shoulder, and took another sip of his whiskey.
They watched the entire movie without saying a single word. Archer, who was already exhausted when he arrived, passed out shortly after the credits rolled, Lana still under his arm. She soon fell asleep as well, and had the best night's rest she's had in months, curled up on her couch with Sterling.