Happy Belated Birthday, Dr. McCoy!
A oneshot by Carlotta's Twin
Summary: Everyone forgets McCoy's birthday on the Enterprise...so Spock throws him a belated one.
D/C: Don't own Star Trek or McCoy's b-day.
A/N: I forgot to write a story in advance for McCoy's birthday, so I decided to write a belated one. THIS TAKES PLACE sorta after 'For the World is Hollow and I have Touched the Sky.' If you haven't seen it, McCoy marries some girl named Natira in it. That's all I have from that.
Happy Belated Birthday, Dr. McCoy!
"Congratulations, Mr. Spock!" Kirk said, smiling at his friend. Spock had just received the 'Most Competent First Officer' of the Year Award, and everyone was congratulating him. Everyone, that is, except Dr. McCoy. Kirk wondered if it was jealousy, or maybe McCoy was just in a bad mood that day.
"Thank you, Jim." Spock said. "However, a First Officer is only as competent as his Captain."
"Well, thanks, Spocko, but today is your day." Kirk said.
"Is it?" growled McCoy in the background, looking even more sullen than usual. Before Kirk could question him, he stomped out of the bridge.
"Is something bothering Dr. McCoy?" Spock asked.
Kirk just shrugged. "Don't worry about it. He'll snap out of it."
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Chapel was waiting for Dr. McCoy to arrive. He stormed into sickbay. She jumped out and yelled, "Happy Birthday!" Chapel handed him a gift. McCoy took it, allowing himself to smile. "What's wrong, Dr. McCoy?"
McCoy tried to smile. For once, he decided not to take his anger out on her. After all, she had been the only one to remember. "Nothing at all, Christine. Thanks." He unwrapped the gift and laughed. "What is it?"
"A margarita kit." Chapel told him, smiling. "I know you like your alcohol, but I didn't know if you've ever had a margarita..."
"Thank you." Dr. McCoy repeated, then sank down into a chair.
"Something is wrong." Chapel said. "Please tell me, Dr. McCoy!"
"I feel like a child saying this," muttered McCoy. "But I'm pissed because nobody remembered my birthday."
"Oh, I'm sorry. But Kirk wouldn't forget something like this..." Chapel said.
"He would if his 'Most Competent' First Officer was receiving an award." McCoy snapped. "Whoever thought that Vulcan was competent...Spock's just a pain in the ass!"
Chapel patted McCoy on the back. "There, there. Look, I'll talk-"
"No!" the CMO cried. "Don't talk to Jim about this. It doesn't matter! It's just one birthday...one day out of the year..."
"It's a special day." Chapel insisted. "But if you don't want me to talk to the captain, I won't."
"Thank you, Christine." McCoy said, awkwardly hugging her. "And thanks for the margarita kit. I might make one tonight."
Chapel smiled. "Happy Birthday, Leonard."
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Uhura was waiting for Chapel to arrive. Chapel normally came to the bridge at 12 o' clock to talk with her friend, but it was already 2:30 and she hadn't yet arrived.
"It is true, Sulu." Chekov said. "Swords were inwented in Russia!"
Sulu shook his head. "The Japanese samurai sword was in full use before Russians ever started using swords."
"Why are you even talking about swords?" Uhura asked, rolling her eyes at the two men.
"It is something to do," Chekov replied. "Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk are getting their physicals today, so we are...well..."
"Bored." Sulu finished. "There's nothing to do around here with those two gone."
"But...why are their physicals today? Did Dr. McCoy schedule them?" Uhura asked.
"I heard Nurse Chapel did."
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"Now," said Chapel, seeming unusually icy today, "Breathe in and then out. I have to record your heartbeat."
"Didn't you already do that?" Kirk asked.
"Shut up." Chapel snapped. "...sir."
"She's starting to sound like Bones." Kirk whispered to Spock. "He's been a bad influence on her."
"Lie there and start pumping your legs." Chapel ordered.
"May I ask why Dr. McCoy is not directing this physical?" Spock asked.
"He's not feeling well." Chapel lied, though after a few margaritas it could be the truth.
"But he's a doctor!" Kirk replied.
"Even DOCTORS GET SICK, sir!!!" Chapel yelled. She sighed. "Never mind. We'll finish the physicals tomorrow."
Kirk couldn't help feeling that he was forgetting something. "Let's go visit Bones, Spock. See what he's up to."
McCoy was in his room, watching an old show called SpongeBob Squarepants. It was stupidly funny and the perfect thing to drink Romulan Ale to. He glanced at his gift from Chapel. Would Romulan Ale still be as good in a margarita?
"Hey Bones, what's up? Chapel said you weren't feeling too good." Kirk said, barging into his rooms.
"I'm just dandy, Jim." McCoy snapped. "I'm trying to enjoy a little privacy here, but you sorta interrupted it." He glanced at Spock. "Oh, great. The Most Competent First Officer decided to grace me with his presence."
"It's a very high honor." Kirk said.
"Well, whoo-te-do!" McCoy snapped, rolling his eyes. "Goodbye."
"You're kicking us out?" Kirk asked.
"Dr. McCoy," Nurse Chapel said, also walking into the room. "I was wondering if...oh. They're here. I'll be leaving then." She started to walk away.
"Wait, what's going on?" Kirk asked.
"May I tell him, Dr. McCoy?" Chapel asked. McCoy just shrugged and helped himself to another glass of Romulan Ale. "Permission to speak freely, Captain?"
Kirk nodded.
"I think you're such a terrible person!" Chapel screamed, pointing to Kirk and Spock. "Both of you! You forgot Leonard's- I mean, Dr. McCoy's- birthday! Just because Mr. Spock got an award doesn't mean you can forget his birthday. It's absolutely terrible. I think that you should...well, it's too late to do anything at all. Dr. McCoy is your friend, both of your friends, even if he doesn't always act that way. And you can't remember his birthday? McCoy didn't want me to tell you two, maybe because it was Spock's day of fame or something. But you know what? It's Leonard's day too!" She stomped out of the room.
Kirk turned to Spock with a feeling of horror. He glanced at McCoy, who was watching SpongeBob sing the 'F.U.N' song. "I, should, uh, be at da sickbay." he muttered, hastily getting to his feet.
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"I feel terrible." Kirk confessed.
"I also regret that I have forgotten Dr. McCoy's birth date." Spock replied. "We should do something to repay for what we have done."
"We can throw him a belated birthday party!" Kirk said. "It won't be as good as a normal one, but..."
"That is a logical solution. I will organize it." Spock replied.
"You?"
"Is there something wrong with that?"
"I just don't know that McCoy will...well, enjoy your taste. A logical party won't suffice for Bones." Kirk said. "He needs liquor and girls and something...emotional. I'm not sure if you can-"
"I am part human, Jim." Spock reminded him. "It is my award that caused us to forget his birthday, so I will repair the damage I have caused."
Kirk sighed. "I trust you, Spock. Whether I should or not."
The Next Day...
"What the devil's going on here?" Kirk asked as he walked up on the bridge. Sulu and Chekov were still at their positions, monitoring their status and whatever else they do. "We're going at warp nine!"
"Mr. Spock ordered us to." Chekov said. "Trust us, Keptain, it was not our idea." Sulu nodded in agreement.
"Scotty," Kirk asked, punching a button, "you can't be liking this, can you?"
"He's not down with the engines." Sulu said.
"Apparently, after Mr. Spock ordered us to go at warp nine, he had a bit of a seizure."
"Didn't like the engines 'his bairns', as he said, to be overworked."
"He's still at sickbay, Keptain, last I heard." Chekov finished.
Those two have worked with each other too long when they start finishing each other's sentence, Kirk thought. And what is Spock up too?
"Approaching Earth, sir." Uhura said. "Someone is beaming up!"
"Who?" Kirk asked.
"I don't know. Two people, though. Spock had, though, gone down to the transporter room beforehand. Maybe he knows."
"I'll bet my captaincy on it." Kirk muttered. Obviously, he didn't like things to go out of his control.
"Jim, what the hell are you doing up there?" McCoy yelled. "You send Scotty into a fit and now you're beaming up passengers at warp nine!?" There was a little moan from Scotty at the words 'warp nine'.
"Well, I-"
"Mr. Chekov," Spock asked, interrupting Kirk as he walked on the bridge. Kirk abandoned his conversation with McCoy to try to find out if Spock was 'out of his Vulcan mind'. "When will we reach the sun at present speed?"
"A few minutes, sir." Chekov answered.
"3.21 minutes to be precise." Spock replied.
"Why did you ask me if you already knew it?" Chekov grumbled.
"Spock, what's going on?" Kirk asked.
"You will find out soon enough, Captain." Spock replied. "All I ask is that you and Dr. McCoy are in the Rec Room in four minutes."
Kirk shook his head. "Fine, Spock. Whatever you say." He stomped out of sickbay.
"The captain doesn't like to be passive, does he?" Sulu asked.
"Vhat else is new?" Chekov replied.
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"I'm not going to the Rec Room, Jim." McCoy snapped, his breath smelling like margartias.. "Scotty's still in shock, and I don't need any more drinks."
"You don't have to drink!" Kirk replied. "Please?"
"No. My duty right now is to Scotty and helping him get over the engines. Do you know he has pictures of them? PICTURES?" McCoy cried. "He's got a physiological problem, Jim."
"We all already know that." Kirk said. "But I have to get you to the Rec Room!"
"I'm a doctor." McCoy snapped. "Not a...well, anyway, I'm a doctor and I've got to stay with Scotty."
Kirk was beginning to lose his thin patience. He rushed into McCoy's office, grabbed some Romulan Ale, and poured half the bottle down Scotty's throat. Scotty jumped up, his eyes wide. "See, Bones! He's fine. Let's go!" Before McCoy could protest any longer, Kirk pulled him out of sickbay.
"I...what am I doin' here?" Scotty asked.
"Apparently," Chapel replied, walking in, "You were upset because Mr. Spock forced the engines to go to warp nine."
"Ugh." Scotty sighed, sinking into the bed. "I don't feel right..."
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McCoy walked into the Rec Room with Kirk, still half-arguing with him, when:
"Happy Birthday, Dr. McCoy!" everyone screamed, jumping out from behind furniture.
"Well, thank ya." McCoy replied, looking mildly happy and confused. "But it was yesterday..."
"Spock ordered us to do a sling-shot effect around the sun." Sulu said.
"This is yesterday, Dr. McCoy." Spock finished.
"A whole sling-shot effect?" McCoy asked, smiling. "Just for me?" he joked.
"Doctor," Spock said. "I, and many of the crew members, owe our lives to you. Should there have been an award, you would have received 'Most Competent Chief Medical Officer'."
"Ah, thanks Spock." McCoy replied. "For a green-blooded hobgoblin, you're not that bad half the time."
Spock raised an eyebrow.
Kirk laughed, but then trailed off. "Wait a minute. Who did you beam up from Earth?" he asked Spock.
"Aw, Leonard!" a white-haired woman cried, rushing forward.
"Hey, Ma." McCoy replied, half-hugging her as he tousled her hair.
"But two people were supposed to have beamed up..." Kirk said.
"Dr. McCoy?" a tentative voice asked.
"Natira?" McCoy wondered. "But... how?"
"I had travelled to Earth to find you." Natira said. "I found your mother...but not you. Spock informed me of your birthday party and asked if I wanted to see you again. Of course, I did." McCoy kissed her.
After they broke apart, McCoy went up to Kirk and Spock. "This is the best party I've had, thanks to you two."
"It was Spock's doing." Kirk said.
"Thanks, Spock." McCoy said.
"...Happy Belated Birthday, Dr. McCoy."