(This contains spoilers for Halo: Glasslands, and Ghosts of onyx, personally I did find glasslands a bit preachy over the Spartan II program, but it was still really good. This is about Lucy's struggle after the events from glasslands. It also doubles as a one-shot between Tom and Lucy.. also, this is carried out from my Deviantart account AgentQV, I figured I might as well put this on my fanfiction, I recently read Thursday War, and I enjoyed it, but I was disappointed Tom and Lucy weren't in it.)
She was broken, mentally, and physically.
Lucy-B091 lay on her bed sighing. She wore off-duty military attire colored gray. The room was a decent size, a bit bigger than her room back at Onyx… she swallowed and then thought of the dyson sphere. It wasn't even Onyx anymore… Trevelyan was it?
Damn… It's already been a month since we were off it, and the war's over?
She could recall Doctor Halsey getting arrested by two ODST's and an ex-Spartan II, but it didn't matter really, maybe to Fred and the others, but she's had enough with her, Osman seemed impressed when they told her who gave Halsey the black eye. But it was over, Onyx… Kurt… all she had left was Tom and the other Spartans… Tom seemed so… distant lately, maybe he was eager in hopes of them getting a mission, or maybe it was something more. ONI had been kind enough to let them have some free time instead of another mission, the Spartan II's however left the first chance they got to try and find John 117 or Master Chief as most would call him. She leaned up breathing in. Mostly this is how she would usually spend her time when she was alone, sleep, or maybe look at an old photo… no wait, she didn't have those, they burned up like the rest of Onyx.
She looked around the room; it reminded her of what her life was like, a prison… ever since Pegasi Delta.
How are you sure we're alive?
That was the last time she ever talked, until about a month ago. 8 years… sometimes she would just go back, and remember the pipes, and the screams and the burning... That damn refinery.
'Just take it easy, breath, it's not real, any of it' Tom's words echoed in her mind. But what did he know? Did he go mute for 8 years? No. Did he suffer a mental breakdown? No. did he care? Yes… He was with her at Pegasi… he saved her life… but why? If it would bring her so much pain later.
YOU ARE VERY BROKEN LUCY-B907. RECLAIMERS SPEAK.
Prone to Drift, the Huragok from the Dyson sphere came to mind; the engineer was like a therapist, because he wanted to 'fix her', like she was in a literal sense… broken.
BUT WHY DO YOU NOT TALK? BECAUSE IT'S IN MY HEAD… FEELINGS. EXPLAIN TO ME. WHY?
Lucy remembered this all too clearly… she came clean for the first time in 8 years.
BECAUSE I'M ALIVE AND MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD. I SHOULD BE DEAD TOO. MY FAMILY IS DEAD, MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD. I COULDN'T SAVE ANYONE AND I DON'T DESERVE TO BE HERE WHEN THEY ARE NOT.
She remembered typing more
Lucy breathed deeply, and felt tears fall, she attacked Halsey just so she wouldn't harm Prone. She must have been the worst Spartan ever… at least Mendez and the others didn't care. She looking around her room, no windows or anything, of course this is an ONI ran location, so she supposed she was kilometers underground. She then looked at the terminal nearby. ONI told her to do what she wished with it, as this was "free time" however the terminal was limited to this network, which meant no messaging outside of ONI. The only thing she could think of doing was linking her helmet to it to take a look back at the sphere, of course ONI had to inspect it first and make copies of the vid feed. On the screen ran a video of Prone to Drift, he wanted to fix her, and because of him she started talking again. But still it wasn't much; Tom only went with yes or no questions. Trying not to rush her… he waited a long time for this.
For a screw-up
Lucy sighed, even though Tom had been distant. He still made sure to visit her every day around this time. It was kind of like back on Onyx. Lieutenant Ambrose had been kind enough to let her grow out her hair for a more professional look to Gamma Company, and Tom kept helping her put it in a ponytail so it would fit in her helmet. He was the only person she could confide in without making the actual problem known... Always flirting to make her smile.
But Tom has his secrets, his feelings…
I know Pegasi did more to him then he'll admit.
Lucy turned to hear a knocking on the door. She quickly got up to open it; Tom was there, always a bit taller than her. He had short brown hair and blue eyes. The eyes came from the augmentations they had gotten.
"Hey." He said. Her lips slowly creased into a smile.
"H-hey." She said precisely, trying to sound like she's been getting a lot better. She slowly turned away from him and nudged him towards the seat nearby a terminal, he graciously sat down, while she sat on her bed.
"How've you been?" he asked. She was about to nudge her fingers into a thumbs up, but stopped.
Damn, old habits never die.
"Great." She lied, he smiled.
"Just great? I thought you would be doing awesome, or spectacular… or good." He teased. She swallowed and felt a slight blush creep up her neck, then slowly dissipated.
"Well… not much has happened today." She said, trying to think quickly. Tom nodded.
"Alright, then." He slightly sighed, his eyes trailed down. Lucy looked at him.
"Something wrong?" she asked, his body language screamed he was bothered by something. She remembered how hard talking was, trying to say the right thing, or get burned.
"No… not really, I just…" he said stuttering, her blue eyes looked down on him, and something was on his mind. He sat near the terminal and picked up the SPI helmet. a thick trail of cords ran fron it to the monitor.
"I just, thought we'd be talking more." He said slowly setting it down. Her eyes gave a confused expression.
"What do you mean?" she asked. He sighed then looked away thinking. It must have been as hard for him as it was for her.
"You know… forget it, let's talk about something el-" he obviously didn't want to talk about it.
"No, I… what do you mean?" she asked. He breathed in looking down. There was silence for ten seconds, until he built up the confidence to continue.
"Alright… for the first time you start talking… you just tell me sorry… just that… Sorry." He said, Lucy breathed in.
"I thought you said there was no prob-"
"I don't know what I was talking about." Tom said staring at her.
"It's just, after Pegasi you start wallowing in self-pity, while I act like everything's alright… I haven't heard you speak for 8 years, and you just say sorry…" he said, slowly getting more determined. Lucy's bottom lip rubbed against her top teeth.
Let it out… I deserve it.
"Why did you hide it all away from me? Did you know how I felt when you stopped, made me feel alone… like you gave up, because the pain and the guilt was so much…" he always did have a way with words, easily made up the talking part of the relationship. Tom slowly stood up.
"Made me feel like I wasn't there, like my feelings didn't matter, the only time I saw you cry, was at Pegasi… and barely, and now when I hear you only spoke because Halsey kept bothering the engineer… It made me feel like all I ever did for you didn't matter in the long run… And after 8 years, almost half of our lives, you just tell me sorry…" he said, Lucy looked down, feeling her eyes start to water.
"Luce… sorry, will never be good enough…" he said, starting to walk towards the door. Her tears started streaming down.
He's right, after all he's done for me… I could do nothing for him, and I now know how selfish I was being.
"I didn't want you to see me like this…" he stopped and slowly turned his head back towards her.
"Why?"
Lucy breathed in trying to think of what to say.
"I didn't want you to see me as this… a weak girl, who even with all the enhancements and training… is still this, a weak girl. You deserved better, then to help and support me, when it was… especially when it was hard for you… You were always there to make me smile… You made my life worth living… no matter how much of a burden it was." She said trying to find the right words. It was true too; he was always there for her. Tom shook his head.
"It was never a burden… when everyone was gone… but us… you meant everything to me... why would you think I'd care less?" He said. She slowly looked into his eyes. She slowly stepped forward, trying to think. He was calming down.
"Because I was scared..." Tom slowly nodded.
"I am too sometimes; being a Spartan doesn't always make you bigger than life."
"Especially us threes..." she added in, he nodded.
"Yeah, us threes..." he nodded, stepping closer. He slowly held her hand. She blushed then sighed, now was the time she'd come clean to him.
"I had something else to say that I think is better than sorry." she slowly said, he nodded.
"Alright... let's hear it." he said, cool confidence in his eyes. She looked up at him, thinking. His hand felt warm, and re-assuring.
might as well say it.
"I love you... Tom." And without thinking, Lucy slowly kissed him, half expecting him to swat her away, but instead he leaned into it, holding her. They kept it up for a minute until she slowly pulled away. He held her for a moment. Tom slowly wiped the tears from her eyes, his hand grazed her cheek.
"Lucy... I…I..." He stuttered, she nodded, knowing what he meant.
"I know." She said looking down. His hand slowly caressed her cheek. He sighed slightly.
"I think I always loved you, from when we first met… even if I didn't know it yet, I always spent my time with you… Adam and Min would always tease me, about "Spending time with my girlfriend"." He said. She nodded thinking of her old friends.
"Who would have thought they…"
"Had a point?" she added? He nodded. His hand brushed her cheek again.
"I didn't see it coming… that's for sure." She smiled, he nodded holding her hand.
"Yeah, you had your eyes on Jack." He said in a teasing manner.
"Did not, when you were always mooning over Layla when we ate lunch." She said. He nodded.
"Fair enough."
I CANNOT RESTORE YOU. WHO WILL DO IT?
"Them."
And finally… she was whole.