"Kahlan?" Richard called out over the lake. It was dark, but the light from the moon gave him almost a perfect view of the area around him. She had gone for a swim, a few minutes to relax after the long day they had. His body relaxed as she emerged from the water, her eyes meeting his instantly. "Are you alright?"
"Fine," she lied instantly, wiping the water from her face.
Sitting at the edge of the water, he grabbed her dress and began folding, needing to keep his hands busy. "I know it doesn't mean very much, but Kahlan, I'm sorry."
Swimming a bit closer, she nodded. "I know."
"I never wanted to hurt anyone, especially you." Looking up from her white dress, he met her eyes. "I keep replaying it in my mind. Kahlan, I killed all of those people."
"You weren't yourself."
"The Rahl magic is inside of me. Kahlan, I don't want to be like him."
She wanted to come to his side, lean her shoulder against his and comfort him, but she couldn't. "You won't."
"You saw what I did to that village. How can I say I want to protect people when I am the one they should be protected from?" Rubbing his face with his hands, he sighed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" Standing he laid her dress neatly on the ground and turned away, taking a few steps before he looked back to her. "I'm sorry, Kahlan."
"You don't have to go," she said before she could stop herself. "The lake is big enough for the both of us."
"Kahlan-"
"You shouldn't be alone with your thoughts," she added. "They're not you."
"How do you know?" he asked quietly. "Kahlan, I never thought that I would be this kind of man, but I killed everyone in that village and-"
"Come here."
"What?"
Lifting her right arm out of the water, she reached out for him. "Come here."
Holding her gaze, he yanked his shirt over his head and without hesitation, made his way into the water. It was colder than he imagined, but as he came closer to her, it grew warmer. He stayed a foot away from her, making sure he didn't threaten her with his presence. She was beautiful, his eyes finding it nearly impossible to look away. The moonlight made her appear to glow, continuing to take his breath from his lungs.
"I never wanted to hurt anyone."
"I know."
"I'm sorry I embarrassed you, about what I said when we were with Cara and Zedd."
"Richard-"
"I shouldn't have said anything and I know that you-"
"It's alright, Richard." Relief flooded his face, making her smile. "I wasn't embarrassed."
"I saw your face, Kahlan."
"I wasn't embarrassed. Sometimes I think I match your frustration."
His mouth opened slightly in shock, her honesty on the subject surprising him. "Kahlan, I-"
He stopped himself and instead, reached out and pulled her into his arms. She gave a quiet moan as her breasts flattened against his chest, a flesh connection she had never felt before. Her hands moved over his back, curling over his shoulders as he brought his lips to hers. He held his own hands firmly on the small of her back, keeping her as close to him as possible without pushing her too far. She returned his kiss with just as much passion, her body rocking forward as her fingers slipped into his hair.
He needed to be closer to her, but he was sure that if he made another move, he would bring her to stop. With each kiss, she seemed to suck the pain out of him and he couldn't let her go. She pulled herself to him, parting her lips to greet his tongue with hers. Her body quivered as the wind blew, brushing by as he partly lifted her from the water. Breaking their kiss, he trailed his lips over her jaw, his mouth opening slightly as he moved down her neck.
She pulled him closer, holding his mouth to her skin as her head fell back. No one had ever touched her this way and she knew that it could only be temporary, but she was determined to enjoy the moment. Wrapping her legs around him, she bucked forward, a moan of pleasure instantly leaving her lips. He took advantage of the moment, lowering one of his hands to help her find the pressure she needed, while his other brushed over her right breast. She jumped at the contact, making him smile against her shoulder as he started carrying her back to land.
The instant he was able, he had her back against the ground She didn't stop him as he laid over her, his mouth reconnecting with hers as she allowed him to settle perfectly between her legs. Bringing his left hand back to her breast, he brushed it first, letting her know what he was about to do. Her back lifted from the ground at his touch, her body seeking everything he wanted to give her. She pulled at his hair, gently, but he stopped at once, his hand releasing her as his mouth left hers.
He started to pull away, but stopped himself, remembering that she was naked and wouldn't want him to see her. With a kiss to her chin, he reached for the towel she had brought, a piece of cloth he had missed until now and brought it between them. Unable to stop himself, he kissed her lips once more and then forced himself to move off of her, his eyes instantly rushing to the sky as he laid on his back beside her. He expected her to dress quickly, but she didn't.
Covering herself with the towel, she turned on her side and brought her arm to his chest. "I'm sorry."
Richard brought his eyes to hers at once, surprised that she remained so close to him. "Why?"
Her cheeks turned pink as her eyes dropped to his chest. "For stopping you."
He smiled, moving his right arm to wrap around her. "You don't have to be sorry, I understand."
"You'll never be like him, Richard." The smile left his lips, his mind quickly returning to what he had done. Holding his gaze, she leaned forward. "He wouldn't have stopped." Giving him a swift kiss, she sat forward and began to dress herself.
"I can still hear them scream."
Turning toward him, she abandoned her actions. "That's not who you are, Richard. I've seen you angry before and never once have you hurt someone- Your sword, it fuels that part of you."
"Kahlan, I don't like it."
"I know," she whispered. "Zedd said that you could learn to control it."
"And how many more will I kill before I do? Will I hurt you?"
"You'll feel it growing stronger and you will stop it."
He stared at her, confused and scared, but she smiled. "How can you be sure?"
"I know you. I know the kind of man you are and knowing that you can bring harm to someone will be all you need to keep from it." Grinning, she pushed her hand against his side. "And if you can't stop yourself, you'll have to get through the three of us."
"That's not comforting, Kahlan. I could hurt you."
"And I could hurt you."
He remained quiet for a moment, understanding her meaning but failing to see how it was close to his problem. "That's not the same thing. Kahlan, you would never hurt me."
"It's exactly the same thing," she said through a whisper. "We both have a part of us who can hurt others, but the one thing we are sure of is that we would never hurt each other." Looking out to the water, she frowned. "We all have a part of ourselves that we are afraid of."
"Does it ever go away?"
"No, but sometimes when I'm with you, I forget to be afraid for a few moments."
He smiled widely and sat forward, inching closer to her warmth. "I'm not afraid of you, Kahlan."
"I know, but you should be." Moving her eyes back to him, smiled with slightly pink cheeks. "You don't know how close I came to destroying you tonight."
"I can imagine," he teased with a nudge against her shoulder. "It's hard to be careful with you."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not."
She gave him a smile, her embarrassment fading as his face matched hers. "I know."
"Do you want me to help you get dressed?"
Her laugh echoed around them, quietly, as though the world knew their actions should be hidden from their friends. "Would you mind? The corset is a little difficult to do on my own."
"I don't mind, in fact," he whispered into her ear, his hands moving to her shoulders. "If you need my help at any time, I would be honored to..."
His hands moved to her stomach, sliding just below her breasts. "Spirits, Richard..."
"Do you want me to stop?" He whispered the words as his chest pressed against her back, giving her head his shoulder to fall back on.
"No."
His lips came to her neck, his nose pushing her hair out of his way as he brought his hands to her breasts. She pushed into his grasp at once, thriving on the new feeling before laying her hands over his. He moved slowly, trying not to go faster than she could handle, ignoring his own urged needs that begged for her. His pants were beginning to dry, seeming to shrink with each passing moment, making it impossible for him to hide his desire. She sensed him behind her and before her mind could stop her, she pulled his hands from her chest and turned into his arms, crawling onto his lap to connect their lips.
Kahlan rocked forward for a moment, rolling her hips until their mouths broke with a united moaned gasp. Dropping her hands between them, she pulled at the swelled laces of his pants and tried to set him free. His mouth remained around hers, kissing every other second as she worked on his pants. It took her less time than he thought, but once his pants were untied, he knew he had to stop them.
"Kahlan..." Her lips hit his and she took control, grabbing his face as she pushed forward. He could feel her against him, rocking with pleasure and it drove him wild. "We can't-"
Opening her eyes, she let him see the darkness of her eyes and paused. "I know, but that doesn't mean you can't..."
Pushing his back to the ground, she hovered above him, her hands roaming his chest. He remained still, partly confused as her lips touched the hollow of his throat and began moving lower. Richard threaded his fingers into her hair, lightly massaging her scalp as she continued without hesitation. When she passed his waist, his eyes fell closed, her kisses becoming slower and her tongue lingering just long enough to cause his hips to lift from the ground. Tracing her fingers along the top of his pants, she distracted him with a moan of her own and pulled.
"Kahlan," he panted, trying to stop her without hurting her. "You don't have to- Spirits!"
His hands fell to the ground as her lips surrounded him, a loud moan leaving his lips. She didn't hesitate with her motions, though a part of her was terrified. The sounds he made encouraged her, telling her what to do without the words. Grabbing at the dirt, his eyes rolled to the back of his head with a loud moan, the soft hum she provided sending farther away.
"Kahlan, please..." He managed to pant as he brought his fingers back to her hair. There was only one thing he knew to say that would bring her to stop and he was almost worried that it would upset her. "Kahlan... Stop."
As he knew she would, Kahlan pulled back, embarrassed and darted her eyes to the ground to avoid the heat of his powerful gaze. "I'm sorry."
Richard continued breathing heavily, his chest trembling as his heart raced inside of him. "No, don't be. Spirits, I- Don't be. That was- You were-" Licking his lips, he pushed his head into the ground and nearly shouted her name, his release taking over him completely. After a moment, he reached for her hand, knowing she would feel it shake in hers. "I didn't want to... Spirits... I had to warn you."
Her hand trembled with his, unsure as to what to do as he struggled to find his next breath. She enjoyed the sight, the sound and faint aroma that seemed to fill the air around them, each locking in her mind to give her something more to relive the moment. She had been afraid that she had done something wrong, something he didn't want and her heart had yet to let her forget it. It pounded against her chest, ringing in her ears as Richard's body jerked before her. She was more aroused than before and without thought, she acted upon it.
As another gasp for air left his lips, she took the index finger of her left hand and trailed it through the white liquid that touched a small portion of her stomach, spreading it in curiosity. It covered the top of his manhood, flicking off as she brushed her hand by. His eyes opened and came to her movement, watching quietly as she discovered more of him. He had been with women before, two, but it had never been like this. Before, he had been with them completely and had never felt what, in just a few moments, she had made him feel. The high was incredible and if anyone asked, he would gladly tell them of the spots that danced in his vision and the way he felt he would explode again and again.
Her movements were slow and gentle, yet each graze of her finger threatened to end him. His breath refused to return to him, unwilling to help as he lost himself to her. It was natural for her to be curious and he knew that there had never been a man before him and he wanted her to know him. It didn't fully make sense in his mind, a part of him wanting to stop her movements and beg her to tell him how she had learned such pleasure and the other wished her to continue and never let him go. She traced her fingers to the tip of his manhood, letting them curl around him for a moment and tighten. He thought to stop her, but she was breathing heavily and the way she concentrated on him, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Her name left his lips quietly, carried by the wind to her ears, making her freeze. He watched a series of emotions come over her face, settling on what he thought to be embarrassed confusion. She released him at once and pulled her hand back, her arms crossing over her chest.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."
"It's alright," he assured her without pause. "I would have let you continue if I thought I could handle it." His words were gently quiet, comforting instantly. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Hurt me?"
He smiled, fighting a laugh at her innocence. "I'm not sure I could stop myself from rolling onto you and never stopping." Her nod was slow, comprehension settling in with the fog of the night around them. "Are you alright?"
"Embarrassed," she admitted freely.
"Don't be." Sitting up, he tried to decide if moving closer was the right thing to do. She was staring at the ground, her hands folded together in her lap and she was, still, completely naked. "Do you want me to help you with your corset?"
Her eyes raised to his, a smile hidden on her face. "I believe it was that offer that lead us here."
"Maybe, but I am still willing to help you."
"We should be quick, they'll notice we're gone."
Nodding, he straightened his shoulders he raised his head, nobly. "As you wish, Mother Confessor." Her corset was in his hands before she could blink and offered to her before her next breath.
Taking the leather into her hands, she stared at it for a moment, her mind racing in so many directions, it made her head ache. "Richard," she whispered when her thoughts were on a single one. "Why- I've been sitting before you, naked and your eyes haven't left mine."
"Do you want them to?"
"I don't know."
Pushing a few wet strands of hair behind her ear, he smiled, kissing her briefly. "Then, I hope we'll discuss this when you do."
"Richard... I don't think I'll find the courage again."
Holding her gaze, he smiled. "Yes, you will. Kahlan, you don't want me to look at you and I understand. I do. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and I'm still going to hold your hand when we walk back to camp."
"Richard-"
"It's alright, Kahlan. I want you to be comfortable, not pressured into it." Richard held his forehead to hers and smiled. "And my imagination is better than you think."
Her frown remained consistent as she looked down to the dirt between them. "I don't want to disappoint you."
"It's not possible."
"How do you know?" she asked quickly. "Maybe I'm hideous."
He laughed, hard, his body shaking. "That would be impossible."
Kahlan remained quiet as she brought her arms through the straps of her corset. He was still chuckling and though she was flattered by his words, they didn't bring her mind to ease. "Richard," she was surprised how stable she spoke his name, but tried to continue. "What I did- I... I don't want you to think any less of me."
"I don't. Kahlan, you showed me how passionate you are, selfless. There is nothing to think less of you. It's me you should think less of. I didn't stop you."
"Richard-"
"Isn't that what you're afraid of? I was weak and though I didn't need you to, I wanted you to."
"That's not weakness," she told him as she turned away, giving him access to the laces of her corset for him to work on. "It's mine that I'm afraid of."
"I don't think you have a weakness."
"Before, when we were... I didn't want you to stop."
He grinned, finishing the lacing with a small, uneven bow. "Neither did I."
"It's frustrating." Turning her head, she looked at him with a frown. "I want to be with you more than I've ever wanted anything, but..." Releasing a sigh, she reached for her skirt. "You should head back, I'll meet you there when I'm finished."
"But what?" he asked quietly.
"As much as I want to be with you, the one time wouldn't make destroying you worth it."
"You would still have me."
"Not the you that I love. Please- I'll follow as soon as I'm dressed."
She watched the ground as he fixed his pants, both having forgotten he was still exposed. When he finished, he rubbed his hand over his stomach, trying to remove what was left from his release, the action failing to remove all evidence. Her eyes followed him as he came to his feet, noticing the way the dirt clung to his wet pants as he grabbed his shirt. "Would you mind if I waited for you in the trees? I'd like to return with you."
"Richard-"
"I promise our clothes will remain on."
She smiled, giving him one of his own as she nodded. "Alright."
He awoke first, he always did. The sun was just beginning to peak through the trees, a soft honey light falling around them as Richard shifted without waking the woman who slept in his arms. He didn't know when they had come to lie this way, but he wasn't going to end it. Her chest was pressed firmly against his, her face in the crook of his neck, her right arm wrapped around his shoulder, holding herself close and warm. The sensation brought the memories of the previous night back in full, his body jerking forward at the feel of her lips around him.
Closing his eyes, he let his mind linger on the memory, his heart now pounding against his chest. She inched closer, her own body responding to the soft roll of his hips. Her eyes opened and her head pulled back, brining his actions to a dead stop. He was about to apologize when she came closer and brushed her lips against his. The kiss heated quickly, the Seeker pushing forward while his left hand slid beneath her dress.
The moment was lost to them, neither remembering that they weren't alone and the one who had kept watch last watched. Zedd waited a moment, hoping it would give them enough time to stop their actions. As he started to clear his throat, the couple pulled apart, Kahlan gasping for her next breath quietly. The wizard held his eyes on them, wishing there was something he could do to ease their pain. She was holding his face to hers, sharing his breath with a smile as he whispered something the older man couldn't hear.
"I didn't mean to wake you."
Blinking sleepily, she smiled. "I know."
"Zedd is watching us."
"He should be."
"He hasn't said anything."
"We would be fools to tear our clothes off in the middle of our camp."
"No, we would naked."
She laughed, louder than she intended, forcing the couple to move apart and sit up. Their eyes met the wizard's first, his grey and bushy eyebrows frowning at them in disappointment. He said nothing, surprising the others, but they took his silence as a mercy. They knew how he felt about them being so close and as the days passed, they only grew closer.
In the hopes of changing the subject on their minds, Richard cleared his throat. "Zedd, is there any way to remove the Rahl magic within me?"
"Why would you want to do that?" Kahlan asked in confusion. "It's a part of you and makes you who you are."
"And we all saw what I became with it. I don't want to hurt anyone again."
Zedd sighed, his grandson's words being far from what he wanted to hear. "There may be a way, but it will take you away from your quest."
"What do you mean?"
"The Palace of the Prophets, the Sister of the Light will be able to help you."
"Can they take it from me?"
"If that is what you wish."
"He hasn't said anything since we set out this morning," Richard whispered to his friends. He was walking between Cara and Kahlan, watching as Zedd hurried ahead of them in silence.
"Can you blame him?" the Mord'Sith asked, annoyed.
"It's partly his magic within you, don't you think he should be upset that you want to remove it?"
"I didn't think about it that way."
"Obviously."
"You're not helping, Cara."
Looking past the man between them, the blonde met her friend's eyes. "There is nothing to help. He's made up his mind and there is nothing we can say to change it. He's afraid of himself."
"I don't want to hurt anyone," he spoke through a distant voice.
"You don't want to hurt her," Cara corrected him. "We each know that if you were sure you wouldn't raise your sword at her again, you'd push past this idiotic thought and take control."
"You're right," he replied instantly. "I don't want to hurt her." Coming to a stop, he reached out and took Kahlan's hand. "I don't want to hurt you, but that isn't the only reason."
Squeezing his hand, she smiled, easing his mind. "I know, but it is the only one we can help you with."
"What do you mean?"
Releasing his hand, she stepped back and motioned for their friend to come to her side. "Hold your sword."
"What?"
"Hold your sword and look at me."
"No-"
"Cara is here, I'll be fine."
Stepping forward, he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Kahlan, please don't ask me to do this."
"I'll be fine Richard, I promise."
"I don't want to hurt you."
She responded by connecting their lips, a slow kiss that she knew would take away his fear. "Trust me."
"Kahlan-"
"You can fight it and we have seen you do it. Trust me."
Closing his eyes, he stepped back and swallowed his fear. "If I lose control," he whispered as his eyes came to Cara. "Stop me."
Bringing his eyes back to Kahlan's he smiled, a failed attempt to calm himself as he slowly brought his hand to the hilt of his sword. Before anyone could blink, his knuckles were white and his jaw locked. Anger filled his eyes as he looked into the eyes of the woman he loved. He shook, a soft growl vibrating through his chest while his mind raced.
"You have to focus, Richard. It's alright to be angry, it's alright for you to-"
"It's not alright, Kahlan!" he shouted in fury, stepping closer. She remained still, her eyes locked on his. "Nothing about this is alright!"
"Why?" She was pushing, harder than she knew was necessary, but there was no doubt in her mind that he could handle the situation.
"Why?!" he shouted so loudly it was almost a shriek. "Have you forgotten last night?!" Her body froze, her heart stopped in a horrific pain she had never experienced before. Cara stared at the couple in confusion, secretly eager to hear more. "How can that be alright?!"
"You could have stopped me."
Yanking his hand from the sword, Richard screamed and turned away. She closed the distance between them before he had a moment to catch his breath; before his anger faded. The instant he felt her touch, he rolled his shoulders forcefully, knocking her back a few steps. With a heavy growl of fury, he turned toward her, but was instantly met by her chest against his. Before he was able to stop her, she grabbed his face and kissed him. He fought her for a moment, trying to get free until she slipped her hands beneath his shirt and up his back. He froze all movements, almost falling into her as his magic rushed through him.
"I'm sorry," she whispered as his arms came to wrap around her. "Last night, I shouldn't have-"
"No," Richard interrupted quickly. "What we did is not what angers me. Kahlan, how can it be alright for you to sacrifice everything for me?" Stepping back, he slowly pulled his hands from her waist. "It shouldn't be all for one of us." Shaking his head, he let out a heavy breath and turned away, his eyes finding his grandfather standing a few dozen feet away, mouth agape and confusion in his eyes. "How far is the palace?"
"Richard-"
"You can't change my mind, Kahlan. I just- I was so angry; I wanted to hurt you. I will not allow it to happen again. I will not call upon this magic again." He spoke as he walked, his head high and shoulders strong, never once turning to look at her.
"What did you do last night?" Cara asked, enthralled with the possibilities.
"We went for a swim," the brunette answered as they caught up to the wizard. "It was harmless, for him."
The blonde grabbed her friend's arm, half smiling as she brought her to a stop. "He let you do it?"
Lowering her eyes, Kahlan nodded. "Not at first."
"And?"
"I did what you told me to."
"And he was pleased?"
"Yes."
With a soft chuckle, Cara nodded and began walking again. "I told you he would like it."
"You heard him, he didn't want me to-"
"He wanted you to do it, if he didn't, he would have stopped you." Giving a sigh, she stopped again and looked back to her friend. "He's not upset about what you did. He's angry for what he didn't do."
Taking a step forward, Kahlan sighed. "I thought it would be enough to give him; I was wrong."
Rolling her eyes, Cara frowned. "You would be wrong not to do it again."
"I can't. I don't think I have the courage."
With a laugh, the Mord'Sith began walking again. "He'll come to you again."
Walking beside her, she moved closer to be sure that they were not heard. "How could he?" she asked timidly. "You heard what he said, how he said it. I went through with it because I thought that it would make things between us easier, but I was wrong. Cara, I don't know what to do."
"Give him what he wants."
"I can't."
Glancing to her friend, she scoffed, "He'll look at you, you'll melt and-"
"I can't."
"But you will," the blonde said quickly. "That's all you can give him."