Carson looked down from where he sat up in the corner of the unseen world. Truly, he hadn't expected to arrive here. He hadn't expected to die!
Somehow, it didn't seem as if it was time yet, though…
It was a way he would have wanted to go – Saving another life.
Some, okay most, would call him stupid and overly stubborn for carrying that bomb down the hall. Some may even go as far saying he had a death wish.
The fact was, the bomb would have exploded anyway, and if it had been in the infirmary it would have killed the two other people. The knowledge that the little box could detonate at any moment had been more than enough for him to pick it up and start walking.
Speaking to Rodney had been a gift. He didn't know how he had managed it, but he had a suspicion that it was a gift from the Powers that Be. However it came about, he was grateful. Rodney would blame himself for a while, but he was strong and stubborn. It truly wasn't his fault, and eventually, he would accept that.
He would probably lock himself in his lab for a while, and Carson planned on intervening if he isolated himself. He wasn't tooworried, however, cause he knew that the Colonel wouldn't let him draw back. It had taken too long for him to gain McKay's friendship for Sheppard to just let it go.
His surrogate family would struggle. He wasn't naïve to think that they wouldn't miss him, but eventually they would be alright. John would probably take out his rage on the Wraith and grow to be even more protective of his team, if that were possible.
Teyla and Ronon were used to death. He suspected that they would be the first to heal, though he knew Ronon had viewed him as a good friend.
He was worried most about Elizabeth. She hid it well, but he knew that she harbored the guilt of every death on her shoulders. He knew she would bear his especially hard. In his long talks with her over coffee and chocolate milk, he had become a close friend. He had dirt on everyone in Atlantis, but she knew she could rant to him and he would never say a word.
Plus, he had been a healer. He wasn't supposed to die. She had, as morbid as it sounded, gotten used to the thought that perhaps, sometime, Rodney and John, or Ronon or Teyla may not come back. Carson, on the other hand, rarely left Atlantis, so he was 'safe.'
He was the least likely to die, and especially not by a 'bomb.' Of course, no one could have predicted an exploding tumor, of all things.
But, the team was close, and Elizabeth was part of the team. Teyla and John would get her out of the office, Ronon would die to protect her (though he wasn't encouraging that, in fact he would be quite angry if it happened), and Rodney would distract her with aimless talking and bad jokes.
He had visited earth for a little bit, looked in at his mother. He had been concerned she hadn't been eating right, even considered appearing and scolding her, but he knew that someone else would have to take care of her now.
She certainly wasn't used to the paranormal, and he didn't want her to get into trouble. Carson sighed, looking once again over the daily life on Atlantis, snickering as Rodney found himself in an embarrassing predicament. Getting thorns in his gluttonous maximum? Sheppard was never going to let him live it down.
He was going to miss it, but he'd be watching out for them.
Slowly he turned away from the view below them and looked to the land of light behind him. That was his new home now. He just wished he could tell his friends about how it was up here. There was no sadness, no pain, no death, no crying… no fear.
It was, quite literally, heaven. Someday, he hoped to see them up there with him. He just wished he could tell them not to make it too soon. There were dangers ahead, trials, defeats and sadly, more deaths. But there was also friendship, hope, a victory, and life.
As he turned and walked towards his new home, filled with his past friends and relatives, he couldn't help but smile. They had no idea how much trouble they were going to get into. He absently wondered if he should but a bet in about Elizabeth and that new guy… Or how many more Wraith Teyla would kill than John… or a multitude of things. After all, what was any kind of life without betting? And goodness knows, the people in heaven sure enjoyed a good round of gambling. And thank the maker there was golf!
As Carson walked back towards the 'pearly gates,' Rodney looked up and silently said farewell.