Note: This story was originally part of my series of dark one-shots Devastation Compilation but since the story is long and completed, I decided to put this story as it's own story post.

Summary: Trouble stirs when Dipper's boyfriend is kidnapped in a bank robbery. Just as Dipper teams with a friend to prepare missing person posters, he himself is snatched and forced to solve a mystery...or risk the deaths of his boyfriend and friend.

Pairing: Billdip and Dipeon

Plunderin' Picaroon

"The paranormal ain't real, marshmallow!" A southern twang called from the kitchen.

The nineteen year old bristled, standing from the couch. "Yes it is! I've seen–"

"Imagination!" His boyfriend countered. "You have a wild imagination."

The teen left the living room to huff in the kitchen and glare at the poofy hairdo of his partner. As the blond shuffled about the kitchen, mouth stuffed with a cookie while he poured a glass of milk, the brunet rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, Gideon," the teen sauntered into the room and wrapped his arms around the blond's torso. "Didn't you once say you started crushing on me because of my hobby?"

Gideon leaned into the embrace and munched on the cookie. Grasping the cookie from his mouth, the blond scoffed and waved a hand.

"You were just so cute whenever you started talking about the supernatural. How could I resist a face like yours?"
The brunet laughed and plucked the cookie from Gideon's grasp. He danced out of reach and popped the treat into his mouth, humming.

The blond whined with a teasing smile. "Dipper!"

"You make the best cookies! I just couldn't resist~" The teen sang.

Gideon grabbed his glass and drank the milk, licking his lips afterwards. The brunet paused, watching, before he grinned.

"Not gonna work!" He waggled a finger. "But almost!"

Gideon snapped his fingers, fighting back a smile. "Gosh darnit!"

Dipper laughed before his eyes traveled to the microwave, checking the glowing digits. "Oh hey, weren't you gonna go to the bank today?"

The blond whipped around to look at the device and blinked. "Oh sweet heavens, you're right!"

Gideon curved around the counter and, as he passed Dipper, the blond pressed his lips against the brunet's cheek and slid his hand down the teen's back. Dipper leaned into the kiss but when he felt a pinch, the brunet yelped while Gideon grinned and scampered away.

"Gideon!" The teen called but the blond just cackled and rushed out the front door.

"See ya hon!"

Dipper smiled and returned to the living room. Striding to the table by the entrance to his boyfriend's house, Dipper swiped the car keys off the table and opened the door. City life of Piedmont, California bustled about, but he had only one thing planned.

He had a bookstore to visit

He exited the house, locked the door, and hurried to his beat up old car. Dipper slid into the driver's seat and pressed the gas, driving to his destination. Soon he arrived and parked, slipping out to enter the store.

Once inside, he zoomed to his favorite corner–complete with books on the supernatural. To his surprise, a man in his early twenties already stood in front of Dipper's favorite section. The teen shifted, eyes wide as the young man pulled a mythology book from the shelf.

The man raised a brow, studying the novel's back. "Is there something you need?"

Dipper shook himself. "Oh–uhm–sorry for staring. It's just–I don't often see people in this part of the store."

The guy turned to face the teen and blinked. "Oh wow, you're a cutie."

Dipper blushed. "Uh, thanks? Um–"

"So you're interested in the paranormal too?" A light dusting of pink coated the young man's cheeks. "I know I sound like a nerd but I've always loved learning about demons."

Dipper brightened. "Yeah! The multi-bear is one of my favorite creatures. Not too fond of demons or gnomes though."

"Gnomes?" The young man scrunched his nose. "Weird." His face cleared to be replaced with wonder. "Wouldn't it be cool to actually meet a mythical creature? I know it sounds silly 'cause they're not real but I still like to pretend..."

Dipper fidgeted in place, knowing full well that if his boyfriend wouldn't believe him then a stranger wouldn't either.

Deciding to play his cards safe, Dipper agreed. "Definitely. Oh!" He held out his hand. "I'm Dipper."

"Bill." The blond accepted the handshake. "Though with that hat of yours I might just call you Pine Tree." He chuckled. "You wanna get some coffee from the cafe next door?"

"Sure!" Dipper chirped. "Just let me..."

He stepped forward and grabbed the newest edition to his favorite author's series. Tucking the book under his arm, he headed to the lineless counter and bought the novel. Having acquired his goal, he turned to Bill with a grin.

"Now I'm ready!"

Bill returned the smile and put the book he was flipping through back onto the shelf and sidled next to the teen. Together, they walked out of the store and into the nearby cafe.

The doorbell jingled as they strode inside, quiet music and indistinguishable conversation washing over them. The barista greeted them with a warm smile. Glancing at the menu billboard, chalked with the prices, Dipper pulled his wallet from the back-pocket of his jeans. He strode to the counter with Bill at his side.

"Just a coffee and no cream, please."

As the employee listed the price, he handed over the corresponding cash and gave his name. He pulled away from the counter and put away his wallet while Bill took his place and ordered. Dipper scanned the room for a table and spotted a two seater in the far corner of the cafe. Waving at Bill, he weaved through crowded table and plopped his tushy into the seat.

Bill sat across from him and braced his elbows onto the table to lean forwards. "So you said your favorite creature is the multi-bear, but I've never actually heard of that one. What is it?"

"Oh–well–" Dipper stammered. "It's a, uh, bear that–"

"Coffee for a Dipper?"

The teen perked. "Be right back."
As he strode to the counter, his eyes caught sight of the television mounted on the wall above the counter. The current news played live footage and he was about to refocus on the barista when his eyes glimpsed the subtitles and paused.

"Oh no…" His breath hitched. "Oh please no."

"Coffee for Dipper!"

The announcement louder than the chatter startled him from his fear and he rushed to the counter. He mumbled a thank you and accepted the beverage then sped to the blond's table. On his way, he fumbled with his phone and speed dialed Gideon's number.

The phone rang and rang but no one picked up.

Gideon always answered his phone.

"Coffee for Bill!"

Barely thinking as his panic rose but knowing he had to inform Bill that he'd be leaving, Dipper returned to the counter and retrieved Bill's beverage then rushed to the shared table.

"Bill, I'm so sorry but I've gotta go." He placed the blond's drink on the table, words cascading as he gesticulated with his hands. "I–there's been a robbery at the bank my boyfriend went to and the news just said the robbers open fired and hurt some people and kidnapped one and he's not answering his phone and I've really–I've–I've gotta check it out and make sure he's okay–and–"

"It's okay Dipper," Bill placed a hand on the teen's shoulder. "I'm sure he's alright. But you're not looking too good. You sure you can drive safely while panicking?"

Dipper brushed his freehand through his hair. "Yes. No. Maybe."

Bill pursed his lips. "I don't want you crashing. You wouldn't mind if I'd drive you there, do you?"

The teen's eyes widened. "You'd do that?"

The blond nodded. "Just tell me where to go and how to get there–it's no trouble and it's better be safe than sorry."

"I dunno I–"

"What if you wound up crashing and getting hurt and your boyfriend was alright? Wouldn't that make him feel guilty for worrying you so much that you hurt yourself or something?"

Dipper bit his lip. "Well okay…" He allowed. "My car's right out front."

Even though trusting a practical stranger with his car was a flat out dumb idea, Dipper wasn't exactly thinking straight and Bill seemed like a trustworthy guy. A little weird, but trustworthy. Hopefully the guy wasn't a terrible driver.

After leaving the cafe and arriving at the car, the teen tossed the young man his keys and slid into the passenger seat. All the while, he gnawed on his bottom lip.

"So where to?" Bill shut the driver doo.

"Community Bank, over on Mission street."

Bill nodded. "Got it. I know where that is."

As Bill pulled out of park, Dipper eased into the seat. "Thank you."

"No problem."

They cruised along until they arrived in front of the bank. Cop cars and policemen surrounded the scene and caution tape encircled the bank. Bill double parked and Dipper rushed out of the car to approach an officer.

"Excuse me," he started and the stern faced woman jotting notes in a notebook turned. "One of my friends–Gideon Gleeful–went to this bank today. Is he–"

The woman's face softened. "I'm sorry, but Gideon Gleeful is the one who was kidnapped."

~oOo~