Halo: The Irkens

I do not own Halo or Invader Zim, though if I did, the world would be a very different place.

0103 Hours, November 4, 2552 (Military Calendar)/

UNSC Marathon-Class Cruiser Orison, in high orbit over the Osner Colony

Earth time: 22:40


Captain Parsner glared at the main fleet monitor of the bridge, blue dots signified friendly ships, while the red showed the enemy. The red dots outnumbered their blue counterparts by tenfold. Parsner gritted his teeth, everything was going to hell, far from it, and it was hell. The Covenant fleet had jumped in without any warning, with well over sixty ships, firing at their latest target, the Osner Colony. The colony was located at the bare arm of the milky way, thus designated as one of the few remaining border worlds, armed with only 4 frigates, 6 destroyers, 3 cruisers, and two Mac Stations. It just wasn't worth saving, with the world's sparse colonists and barren lands.

A blue dot winked out of existence, Parsner and the rest of the crew's faces were momentarily lit as a plasma torpedo struck the Racer and turned it into a burning bulk of slag. "Helm! Bring us forward! I'm instating Cole Protocol! Have the rest of the fleet jump as well! The Osner Colony is doomed. We may as well haul ass outta here. Gaz! How much more time before we can jump?"

A glowing AI dressed in gothic clothes of several centuries ago, with short purple hair, and a small skull necklace around her neck turned to Parker, studying him. "…About a minute, the Fujikawa engines haven't even been warmed up yet," replied the AI impassively.

Parsner nodded, "You heard her people! Give us two minutes worth of time, status report on the fleet!" An ensign nodded grimly, "We've got sixteen- wait, fifteen frigates, and ten destroyers left. All MAC stations have been destroyed and the Covenant are about to glass the planet, they total at 40 strong!"

"Sir! Two cruisers bearing 203, mark 187! Four frigates bearing 102 mark-!" A barrage of plasma fire struck the Orison's bow, eating away the four layers of Titanium A armor. "Fire Archer pods Block A to K at the frigates, L-N at the cruisers, fire a Havoc missile at the biggest group of Covenant you can find!" The ship thundered as a hundred high explosive missiles took off and dove towards their targets. The barrage struck the cruisers first, detonating their deadly load and dropping their shields. The next barrage stalled their advance. However, the frigates weren't so lucky; the rest of the human fleet trailed behind them and fired their MAC cannons at the ships.

Fifteen depleted-uranium rods flying nearly at the speed of light struck the frigates; their shields flickered at the first several hits, but fell and the barrage slammed into their hulls, turning their silver armor into glowing red liquid metal. "Captain, the drives are at full power, preparing to jump," said a bored Gaz. Parsner nodded, his brow sweating bullets, "Good! How's that Havoc coming?" "Prepped and ready, sir!" "Targets found, bearing 113 marks 067!"

"Well? What the hell are you waiting for! Fire it!"

The technician complied; the Havoc Tactical Nuclear Missile thundered and took off with a volley of twelve Archer Pods escorting it.

Seven human vessels jumped, leaving behind a single package that the Covenant were sure to find.

Covenant Cruiser Divine Hammer, in orbit above the Onser Colony.

Shipmaster Demula'lee clicked his mandibles disapprovingly; the battle had gone on far too long. It took the ships over twenty units to engage the human defense stations, and even longer to even begin firing at the cruisers. Then again Brutes weren't exactly smart. How the blasted beast had managed to get the title of shipmaster was beyond him. Not many brutes had the ability of thinking ahead, but this one hadn't even done that. He had simply charged forward, sacrificing twenty ships to the human's infernal cannon fire. A cry from the crew jerked Demula'lee from his thoughts and turned just in time to see the remains of the human defense fleet jump into slipspace. "How many of us remain?"

"Twenty, Shipmaster! The Brute commander is hailing us!" shouted communications officer Salulam'anee. The Shipmaster nodded grimly, "Patch him in."

On the main screen, a window popped in, it showed a very incensed, and extremely ugly, face of what would be a much mutated ape creature in brown fur, "What do think you you're doing? Because of your incompetence, you have lost us much of the fleet and even let the humans escape!" "My fault? In what way could this be my fault? I have no time to argue with you, the human fleet must be taken out at once," replied the Elite calmly. The Brute looked more incensed, if that was even possible, "Yes, they must be taken, by my hand. You will remain as a backup force."

Demula'lee nodded, "Very well." The comm. Officer cut the link. "Does this monkey belive he will defeat the humans with his tactics? No doubt he will jeopardize everything and run for me for help. Remain behind his Cruisers by seventeen units, prepare to jump!" A flash of light on the main screens caused the elite to turn, the blinding light had died down and several pieces of the Brute fleet had remained. A dozen cruisers gone, just like that? That is truly pathetic. The entire crew, apparently, had been thinking along the same lines as their shipmaster. "Shipmaster Demula'lee, The 'commander' is hailing us...and the Prophet of Joy has sent us an order," Said the comm officer, barely able to contain the laughter within him. He too felt the overwhleming urge to laugh, but spoke in his usual clipped tones, "Patch him in."

A ruffled furry and ugly ape snarled at the elite shipmaster, "Those humans left one of their explosive machinations...!" The elite raised his hand to stem the flow of excuses, "I have here, a direct order from the Prophet of Joy, she requests that you give command to me." The look on the Brute's face was almost priceless, "But-but-I am commander of this fleet!" "Not anymore," replied Demula'lee shaking his head, hiding a smile as he did so, "You will remain as the reserve fleet I,on the other hand, will issue the orders." He made a short cutting gesture to the comms officer, who cut the transmission. The entire crew took a few units to laugh heartily to themselves, including many of grunts gathered around.

"All ships, follow the enemy scum at mark 809, prep the slipspace drives. All heavy cruisers in front, jump at when ready," commanded the elite, the crew busied themselves with his newly issued orders. The fleet of ten cruisers, two carriers, and four frigates jumped, with Demula'lee giving the signal, "For the glory of the covenant, and to Great Journey!"

A first crossover fic by my two favorite scifi...thingies

For reference: Irkens are short green insect like creatures with large red/pink, vilet/purple, or blue eyes, three fingers, two toes, and have a hierarchy based opn hieght.