Lex Luthor and Clark Kent were hanging out in Lex's office reading comics. Technically Lex claimed that they were doing research in the field of superheroes, but Clark knew better. Lex took any chance he could get to read these old comics of his. IT reminded Lex of a simpler time, when the world seemed nicer. Everything in the comic books was perfect. The good guys were always good. The bad guys were always bad, and you could recognize them from a mile away. Clark knew his friend was trying hard to be good. Most of the time, he was, but there were times when trying just wasn't enough. For now, however, that wasn't important. Lex was helping Clark. He had this idea, partially inspired by the comics, and partially because of the recent appearance of the crusader people were now referring to as Batman. When Lex had first come to him with the idea, Clark had been certain tat his good fiend was out of his mind.
"You can't be serious. I mean, what you're suggesting, is that I just run around and let everybody in on my secret?"
"Technically, it wouldn't be you. You see there are two identities. There is the hero, Warrior Angel. And then there's his secret identity. That way, people will never know that it's really you."
"So what, you want me to run around in a mask or something? That is stupid," Clark said rolling his eyes.
"No, it's not, and secondly, you would need more than just something over your eyes. You would need a whole uniform."
"You mean like, a cape, and spandex, and," Clark gulped, "tights? I'm not wearing tights." Lex leaned back in the big leather chair, sighing serenely. He allowed the issue, which he had been reading to fall neatly into his lap. It was only then that he noticed his precious collection had been dropped into heaps on the floor. Some were open and upside down, others were face up, and partially opened. Some had been tossed haphazardly across the room. Clark was rolling yet another in his hands."
"Hey be careful with that, flannel boy—hey, there's an idea," he joked. "Seriously though. Even if these are just my reading copies they're still important, and you're wrecking them."
"Sorry," Clark said apologetically, trying to straighten out the comics as best he could. Then he looked back at Lex seriously. "Did you hear what I said? I'm not wearing tights." Lex sighed. This time, however, there was slightly agitated hitch to I.
"You need a uniform. All the great heroes have them. It's part of the image." Clark rolled his eyes.
"Besides. I still think this thing is stupid. Nobody would actually do this. It's a comic book, not real life. Only an idiot would run around in tights and stuff like that."
"You'd better not let Bruce Wayne hear you say that," Lex chuckled. " Clark bolted to his feet. He even did a comedic double take.
"Excuse me?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Lex could not have just said that.
"Bruce Wayne," Lex explained slowly. He stood up, lightly placed the comic on his chair and went to pour himself some scotch. "He's batman."
"I know. I mean-he and I—we both know about—each other. But—how do you know? I dint know that you knew. He defiantly doesn't know that you know. Oh man, he's gonna freak!" Lex laughed again. He took a sip from his glass, shivering slightly.
"I've known the guy since we were both lonely depressed teenagers with nobody to love us. His parents were. . And my mom—anyway that's not the point. We both know each other better than anyone," Lex trailed off. "What I mean is that we used to know—we were close then but now I just," he started stutter. After that he took another sip and put his drink down. Then he walked over to where Clark was seated and offered him a hand getting up. Clark followed Lex over to the pool table and put his hand on Luthor's shoulder.
"It's alright. I understand. Besides, what you and I have—it's special. But that doesn't matter right now, and it doesn't matter what Bruce does either. Bruce is weird. Plus people don't even like Batman."
"First off, you aren't Batman, and you're never going to be Batman. Second, and I only have two points, so quite rolling your eyes. This isn't a lecture. People want to like Batman. They just aren't sure if they can trust him. They don't like Batman/Bruce because they think he's hiding something."
"Wait a minute," Clark intrupted. It didn't matter what Lex said. This was a lecture. If Clark was going to have to put up with all of this then it was going to happen his way. "You expect me to run around in some weird ass costume, change my name, and you think that people are going to trust me?" Lex sighed. Naturally, Clark thought. Lex seemed to know everything. At least he acted as if he did.
"I was just getting to that. Now I believe it's you're turn to break. Come on, we can talk and do this at the same time." Clark gave his friend another serious look, but Lex wasn't paying attention. So, he grabbed Lex by the arm.
"I'm not wearing tights," he shouted. Lex handed him a cue, laughing, and nodding. "I mean it Lex." Since Clark wouldn't shoot, Lex went first, completely ignoring Clark's comment. "Lex? Lex would you please look at me?" Then he sighed and looked at his tattered old sneakers. "I'm not wearing tights and that's final," he whined to himself.