Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter...duh...and I am making absolutely no money off of this fanfic. Neither do I own the song If Your Kisses Won't Hold The Man You Love, Then Your Tears Won't Bring Him Back, I'm using the version as performed by Rasputina.

A/N: Sorry this plot bunny just flew into my head, I had to let it out :) I hope you don't mind that this is a song fic.

Denial

Chapter One- If Your Kisses Won't Hold The Man You Love (Then Your Tears Won't Bring Him Back)

Every time that I hear a woman cry 'cause her man has left her flat

I just feel like saying, "Don't be such a fool, you fool

Better dry your eyes, can't you realize

You gain nothing by that

Well, that's no way to keep his heart warm, baby,

When his love grows cool."

Draco Malfoy walked slowly and confidently to the small blue house in which his next and last victim resided, he rang the doorbell, a smirk plastered firmly on his face. He waited tapping his foot impatiently a small folder cradled in his arms against his chest. After several heartbeats, someone came to the front and looked through the small window, she shook her head and disappeared behind the curtains only to appear opening the door.

She was a small mousy woman with her dirty blond hair pulled up into a loose bun, her eyes were hidden behind large thick rimmed glasses and she seemed as though she had a large stick lodged far up where the sun doesn't shine.

"I'm not interested in anything you're selling," she said dismissively attempting to close the door.

Draco blocked it with his foot, and she looked at him, fear fluttering over her eyes for just a second.

"Oh, I'm not selling anything," Draco smirked and raised his eyebrows. "Your name is Anna, is that correct?" He flipped open his folder and read her information from the blue parchment.

"Umm…yes…" she answered cautiously.

"My name is Draco Malfoy, I have a message from Matthew," Draco answered his voice soft.

"My Matthew, is he hurt? Oh is it something good? A proposal?"

"I own an organization, called Witch and Wizard Dumps Made Easy, that makes breakups a little easier on people, you've probably seen our ad in the Daily Prophet," he smirked at her confused face, "Hearts. You take 'em, we break 'em…?" he said hoping she would respond, "No…too bad…"

"Get on with the message…" She said folding her arms over her chest impatiently.

"Matthew owled me a few days ago asking me to deliver the message that he wants to break up with you."

She stared at him awkwardly and didn't say a word for several seconds, then she shook her head and choked out, "And, who are you?"

"I'm Draco Malfoy from Witch and Wizard Dumps Made Easy, here to convey the message that Matthew no longer wants to be with you." Draco spoke to her slowly, hoping she would understand this time.

She let out a strained chuckle. Her voice was really already beginning to get on Draco's nerves.

"It's a little late, for April Fool's jokes," she said shaking her head.

Draco tutted loudly, he was used to this kind of response.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" he said in his icy cool drawl, giving her his most serious face.

First it's the denial.

"You must have the wrong house," she babbled.

"Do you honestly believe that? How many people named Anna, live in this village and date a man named Matt?" he raised his eyebrows, "Hmmm?"

"But Matthew, he loves me, he told me he did…"

"Look Anna, I really didn't want to have to get this far into it, but he's just no longer interested in you. It says here…" he looked down at the parchment, "That you've become far too mousy over the course of the relationship, stopped caring about your appearance, never do your hair, only occasionally shower," Draco paused to give her a disgusted look, "You no longer wear make up, your clothes are too big, you never have time for him anymore and the worst part of it all is that you're terrible in bed and quite frankly he doesn't want to deal with it anymore."

"Well! I never! I'll Floo him right now, we can rid ourselves of this non-sense, then I'll Floo the authorities," she stomped her foot.

"No, don't call him, that is the point of me being here, to make this easier, he no longer wants to talk to you."

"If this is true, why doesn't he come tell me himself?"

"He doesn't want to speak to you or see you ever again."

"So…" she paused to catch her words, "You're telling me, this is for real?"

Draco nodded his head slowly, "Yeah…" Joy welled up inside him, he loved the realizations.

Ugh. Here come the tears. Draco rolled his eyes.

What's the use in sighing?

What's the use in crying?

If he's wandered off the track

'Cause if your kisses won't hold the man you love

Then your tears won't bring him back, no

His least favorite part of this job were the tears, especially when it was a woman, some of them were so daft it was like they expected him to be some kind of psychiatrist or something. Her eyes began to water and she bit her bottom lip, Draco thought this face made her look somewhat like a swollen toad.

You might as well be cheerful

There's no use being tearful

If he's given you the sack

'Cause if your kisses won't hold the man you love

Then your tears won't bring him back

"Well he can't, a lot of his stuff is still here and-"

"That's not my concern," Draco interrupted her.

"Well! Well you tell him!"

"I'm not going to tell him anything, I do not send messages back and forth, I am not an owl. Matthew paid me to break up with you, that's all I'm doing."

She stared in disbelief, "He paid you? You get paid to do these despicable things!" Tears were running down her face now.

"Pretty much, yeah" Draco answered a proud smirk on his face.

Goodness when is she going to get on with this?

"Well you must be pretty lonely and angry and un-loved to have a job like this!"

Bingo. That's what Draco was waiting for.

"Yes," he drawled, "I'm oh so lonely, but guess who's getting dumped. You. Do you understand that Matthew no longer wants you, because you never bathe?"

"Listen here!"

"No, no listen here! I don't need to hear listen here!" Draco was beginning to get frustrated. It was becoming late, he just wanted to go back to the Manor and have something to eat. "All I need to know is that you get that you and Matt are no longer together."

"I got it. Fuck off now…"

"Gladly," Draco turned on his heel and smirked because he knew she was sticking up her middle finger at his retreating form. "Oh and take a bath, I can smell you from here!" he yelled back before disappearing with a soft 'pop'.

Now, listen,

If sweet sugar kissin' isn't gonna make him come home

Tell me, how do you hope to keep him to you

With tears instead of song?

Another job well done, Draco thought to himself after he appeared in his study and had placed the folder labeled, Anna Tulbert/ Matthew Cunningham into his filing cabinet. There was a loud 'crack,' and a house elf by the name of Sprite entered the room.

"Masters' dinners is ready," he said bowing. "Would Master be liking it here or in the dining room?"

"In the dining room, thank you Sprite," Draco answered without so much as a glance to his servant.

Within the next instant the house-elf was gone, and Draco followed not too long after.

Most people would call Draco crazy for eating in the large dining room by himself. Granted, the room was rather large, and the table was extremely long, made to fit at least twenty people and could be charmed to fit more. Draco remembered in his childhood how immense the table seemed when it had been only his father, mother and himself dining at the table, but since his father's imprisonment and his mother's death, he had grown quite used to eating by himself. Being in such a large Manor by himself, didn't even phase him in fact on most days, if he didn't get the odd visit from Zabini or Parkinson or Greengrass, it was just him and his servants. He only saw people that he worked with, and only allowed a specific brand of people to be around him. He rather liked it that way. Far too many people were afraid to be alone.

Like all the silly people who fall into false views of love and infatuation. It was all just rubbish. The way they cried and fawned over someone else as if they were really someone significant. Draco had been stupid enough to let his guard down long enough to be one of those people, but he corrected himself quickly and chucked that out before it got too far.

Just be a normal fella

Come on, say, "What the hell-a,"

Get his clothes and help him to pack

'Cause if your kisses won't hold the man you love

Then your tears won't bring him back

That's why he started this whole thing with the help of his friends, to show the world how stupid "Love," was. He had dozens of people owling everyday just begging him to get rid of their significant other. If love truly existed he had yet to see it. Draco Malfoy was one of the few people that strictly believed, Romeo and Juliet, was Shakespeare's testament to how far stupid infatuations can go, they knew each other all of what, a few days?

When you're with someone, all you're doing is biding your time till they get bored.

The worst part and the thing that really got Draco going was that people were surprised when they got their heart broken. It was like they really believed there was someone out there that would love them for what they were flaws and all, and that the person they were with was it. Then they would cry, like it made any difference, like crying would change anything. Like tears would form some magnet to bring the person back, quite frankly in most cases it just repelled people.

Love didn't exist, it was just sex in disguise. Draco had no problems with abusing sex.

Love is like home cooking: good, and wholesome

But all men need some mutton on the outside now and then

If you find your boy is cheating,

Do the same, old dear

He's only giving you the chance that you've been waiting for, for years

My goodness! Tears won't get you anything

Just a shiny red nose

Go on, paint up, powder up, put on your swellest clothes

Men: go and get 'em by the score

Neglected girls shouldn't worry

That's what God made sailors for!

Sometimes of course if the girl was good looking enough, (some guys broke up with complete foxes because even though they were pretty they were dumb as a log, but that didn't matter to Draco, he never planned on keeping them), he would teach them a lesson in forgetting and how possible it was to quickly get over a man when Draco Malfoy's cock was in your mouth.

Don't cry for him or chase him

Just go out and replace him

With some good looking Tom, Dick or Jack

'Cause if your kisses won't hold the man you love

Then your tears won't bring him back

Draco finished his dinner quickly and decided to check back in his study to see if there were anymore owls that he may have missed.

When he saw that there were none and sighed and made his way toward his bedroom. He had a backed up list of break ups to perform anyway, anymore would just about make his head explode.

Can't wait for tomorrow, He thought with a smirk.

If your kisses won't hold The man you love

Then your tears won't bring him back!

- Rasputina