I don't know about you, but I do think we - the community describing themselves as being the utter Jotch trash - deserve a Christmas fic. I decided to give us that. I'm a little bit nervous, because this is my first Jotch multiple-chapter story, and everyone will make an appearance - even Will! And because this time of the year is very special, this fic - while strictly JJ/Hotch - is also Will-friendly.

Here's a longer summary:

SPARKLING STARDUST — a Jotch Christmas Carol.

"No space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused"
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

She knew it was over for her. She had had a chance to be happy, and she had told him no. She had chosen her son's happiness over her own, and she should feel noble. So why was she feeling encaged?
Perhaps it wasn't too late for her, though.
Perhaps Christmas truly was a time for miracles.
Perhaps all she needed was… a little push.

Six chapters. Two people.

And also a couple of things to make things clear: JJ is still a media liason, she's with Will, Henry is 2; Haley is dead, Jack is 6, Hotch is alone. Oh, and Emily is with David, because fuck you, that's why. ;)

Here we go!

One: The overture. (03/12/2015)

This wasn't what her life had supposed to look like, JJ thought as she readied herself for bed. Plopping onto the edge of the bathtub, she sighed heavily, mindlessly playing with her long hair.

This, this life, wasn't what she had imagined her future to be, and she was tired, and she just didn't know what to do.

She had Henry. He was the best thing to ever happen to her and she wouldn't change a thing as far as he was concerned. Not a single one. But putting her child first was the reason why she found herself in this situation – stuck in a loveless relationship, with a man whom she respected and adored, but whom she didn't love, not at all. She had thought she loved him, she had thought it was for the best when the team had finally found out about them, and she had been over the moon when she had found out they were going to be parents.

When a long-distance relationship turns into a full-time relationship, things change. And in the case of JJ and Will, they had changed for the worse. With every passing month she had become more and more frustrated, little things about Will would tick her off immediately, and at first she had thought it was because of the pregnancy, but when Henry was born and they kept on quarrelling, she knew it wasn't merely hormones.

They just weren't meant to be.

Nonetheless, Henry's happiness was the most important thing for them, and they had silently – JJ guessed, having never really addressed their problems – agreed to just… be together. No fights, no complaints, no nagging, no romance, just two parents trying their goddamned best to make sure that their kid would grow up in a normal family.

And it was good; JJ had been so relieved to finally stop kidding herself and try to make things work between them. There were nights… however… usually after an exhausting day, be it at the BAU or at home with a fussy two-year-old, when JJ liked to lock herself in the bathroom and just let herself be sad for a bit. Sulk a little, maybe. To mourn the wasted time, to mourn her lack of things to look forward to, things that weren't connected with Henry. To mourn the lack of romance, lack of sex, lack of intimacy. She felt reduced to the role of a mom and it hurt.

Tonight was one of these nights.

What hurt her the most, JJ thought, was the painful awareness that there was someone out there. Someone who had offered her everything, who had said that he could be hers if only she wanted him.

She had wanted him. But she couldn't do it.

And perhaps if he'd never said the word, everything would be easier. But he had. She knew he existed.

Her life was such a joke. A tactless one, too.

Chuckling humourlessly, JJ stood up and not glancing into the mirror left the bathroom. She found Will already in their bed, reading a book; he didn't even blink when she closed the bathroom door behind her.

"Are you still reading that crime story?" JJ asked, shaking her head.

"Sure I am. And it's been great so far, so I can totally let you read it once I'm finished."

"No, thanks. I've got enough of this at work," she laughed, laying down next to Will. "Any exciting plans for tomorrow?"

"Nah," he replied. "We'll go to the park, probably, like always. Play a little. Perhaps the wee one will go one day without throwing a temper tantrum."

"He's such a little terrorist," JJ mused. "I mean–" She gasped, realising what she'd just said. She shouldn't call her own son that, especially considering what she did for a living.

"I know what you mean, Jayje, relax! He sure is. We'll make a good, honest man outta him, though, don't you worry." Will chuckled.

"Are you sure you're okay with not going to the party Penelope's throwing tomorrow night?" JJ asked, looking at him expectedly.

"Positive. For one we really don't have anyone to stay with Henry and I think I'm not comfortable leaving him with a stranger just yet. In a year or so, sure, I'd like to go back to work. But for now I really like spending days with him. Besides, you deserve to go out and have fun with your friends. I'll go out with mine some other time and it'll be your turn to take care of our little man."

JJ nodded. "I just wanted to make sure. I spend enough time away from you two, so I needed you to tell me it was okay for me to leave you again."

"We understand, Jayje. Are you going to sleep now? I really wanna finish this chapter tonight."

"Sure. Good night, Will."

"Night, night," he replied somewhat mindlessly, already focused entirely on the book he was holding.

Closing her eyes, JJ smiled sadly.

Content. That was it. She was content and Will was a very important person to her.

Nothing more. An important person, with whom she was going to spend the rest of her life.

"Jennifer?" She hears someone call. She's confused. Not sure what's happening, who is calling her, or even where she is.

She looks around and all she sees is white. White walls, white floors, white furniture. There's a window, too, but there's only blinding light coming from it.

Is she dead? She can't be. She remembers talking to Will just a moment ago, she recalls putting Henry to bed... She can't be dead.

Can she?

Did she die in her sleep?

She was too young to die, for pity's sake. She might be disenchanted with her life, but she didn't want it to end.

If she's not dead, JJ promises, she'll never ever complain about it. Seriously.

God damn it, is she dead?!

"Am I dead?" She asks out loud, hoping someone will answer.

"You're not dead, relax," she hears the voice again. "You're only sleeping."

"Well, thank God, then. Who am I talking to? This is the weirdest dream ever and I really want to wake up," JJ grumbles.

"You'll wake up in six hours, no worries."

"That answers only a small part of my question."

"Impatient, are we?"

"I just don't feel like playing games with my own mind. Who am I talking to? Am I talking to, like, my brain?!"

"You could say that, yes. You're talking to the subconscious part of you."

"This entire thing sucks, you know?"

"It's necessary. You have to listen to me, Jennifer."

"It's not like I've got much choice," JJ shrugs.

"You've been miserable lately. You're full of regrets and sadness. And you don't have to be. There is a very simple solution to the situation in which you found yourself. You're just too stubborn and honourable to realise that. Telling you what you've got to do to free yourself wouldn't do much good either. You're too obstinate to even consider it, and you'd try to show me I'm wrong just out of spite. Therefore this... this entire undertaking... is very much necessary."

JJ just stands there, more confused than ever before.

"I don't understand."

"For the next three consecutive nights, I'll show you three different things. I'll show you your past, present, and future."

"You're going full Dickens on me now? This must be a joke."

"It's almost Christmas. This is my only chance to talk some sense into you. Why not use Dickens?"

JJ shakes her head.

"It's probably a one-time thing, anyway. Hopefully, I'll wake up and I won't remember a thing, and I'll never be stuck here ever again."

"You seem to be forgetting that your subconscious is as stubborn as your awareness."

This is ridiculous and even though she's apparently sleeping she realises that.

First of all, she hasn't got the slightest idea as to what her... subconscious is trying to make her understand, and she doesn't know how it's going to play out. After all, dreams appearing in a sequence are a very rare thing.

It's bullshit.

It has to be.

When she woke up in the morning, she was absolutely certain that it was just a stupid dream. After all, it didn't even finish properly; she remembered thinking about how absurd the entire thing had been and next thing she knew she was in her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, wondering if she was losing her mind.

Her alarm clock went off, pulling her out of her stupor. Will mumbled his usual "stay safe, Jayje" and got back to sleep.

And as she readied herself to work, she couldn't help but wonder if she would be visited by her... subconscious again.

This buffoonery sparked her curiosity, even though it was absolutely insane.

I do hope you'll give this one a chance and that you'll enjoy it. I really do.

Five more to go!