Author's Note: This fanfic will be a collection of one-chapter fics set in season two. None of them will be getting a second chapter, and each one stands alone from the others.

All In

Jeller, set around 2x18 (after the Borden showdown and Jane's breakup with Oliver, but before the polygraph episode and its near-kiss). Diverges from canon to get Jeller together a little early. Kind of a weird hybrid of humour, angst and smut. M-rated.

"You guys are the greatest," Patterson proclaimed, affectionately laying her head on Tasha's shoulder.

They were three quarters of the way through a girls' night at their favourite bar, and Jane, Zapata and Patterson were a little past tipsy, but not drunk enough that the room was spinning. As the bartender brought their next round, the sound system switched to a new tune.

"Oh, hey, it's this song," Jane said, putting down her glass. "The one Kurt always turns off the radio in the car."

Patterson and Zapata blinked at her.

"Wait, he does?" Patterson asked, leaning forward.

Beside her, Tasha snickered against the rim of her glass before taking a sip.

"Yeah. I don't think I've ever actually heard more than the first couple of lines. He always switches stations. I figure it must be one of those songs that reminds him of a bad breakup, or something."

"I…don't think that's why he switches stations," Zapata said, grinning.

"Huh? Why not?" Something about their reactions made Jane guess she was in unexpected territory, but she had no idea just how right she was until a few seconds later.

Tasha and Patterson exchanged an amused glance just as the music built towards the chorus. Then, together and a little off-key, they sang along.

"I don't want anybody else! When I think about you, I touch myself!"

Jane stared at them, completely stunned, as they both erupted into giggles. Then she covered her eyes with her hand. "Oh, my god."

"He wants you so bad," Zapata said, shaking her head.

"He does," Patterson agreed.

Jane frowned at them. "No, he doesn't. He already told me it was too complicated to get into a relationship with me, and that was before we found out about Sandstorm. We're just friends."

"Jane, you are so clueless," Zapata said. "Didn't you see how he got when you were dating Oliver? He didn't realise how much he still wanted you until you were unavailable, and he was kicking himself for not speaking up sooner."

Jane's face grew hotter than the surface of the sun. "No—he said he was glad I was happy."

"What did you say to him when you found out he was dating Allie again?" Patterson asked.

Jane opened her mouth, then closed it again.

"There you go," Patterson said.

"But I'm single now," Jane protested. "And he hasn't said anything."

"Not yet," Tasha said. "Jane, we knew he was into you from day one. Or at least day three or four. That's not even taking the song into account."

"That's not the only sexy song on the radio," Jane argued. "If it was that big a deal, he'd be switching over half the songs."

Patterson rolled her eyes. "That's not the point. The DiVinyls song is like…an anthem for female fantasy and masturbation. Men aren't used to hearing women admit that they do it, so songs like that really get their attention."

"He's trying not to think about you…thinking about him...and...you know." Zapata played with the straw in her drink, a wicked look in her eyes.

Jane held up her hand, mortified. "Okay, can we change the subject, please? Or can I get you guys drunk enough that you won't remember this tomorrow?"

"She's totally guilty," Patterson stage-whispered to Zapata.

"Obviously," Tasha murmured back.

"Even if he doesn't want to think about…that…" Jane added, "maybe that's just because intimate sexual thoughts about co-workers make him uncomfortable."

"Yeah, uncomfortable in his pants," Patterson muttered into her drink.

Tasha almost spat out her drink, torn between laughter and dismay. "Okay, let's leave that thought for Jane to fantasise about later. Weller is like my brother. I don't need that image."

Jane sighed, trying to rationalise things and not get swept up in their craziness. "You guys are way off base. Anyway, even if you're right, it doesn't even have to be me he's thinking about. Maybe the song reminds him of some old girlfriend who hurt him."

"Oh, for the love of god, Jane. How dense can you possibly be?"

Caught off-guard by the sudden irritation in Patterson's tone, Jane put down her drink, exchanging startled glances with Zapata.

"Patterson—" Tasha started.

Patterson wouldn't be deterred. "You and Weller need to just break out of this stupid holding pattern, already. You have something that's real and true, and even if it's a little bit complicated, you love each other, and you'd die for each other. Nothing bad is gonna happen if you admit it, okay? Just get it over with."

Tears in her eyes, the scientist downed the rest of her drink in one breath, while Jane tried to process both the advice and the angry way it had been delivered.

She couldn't deal with both at once, so she chose the more immediate problem first. "Why are you mad at me, Patterson?"

A tear trickled down Patterson's cheek before she hid her face in her hands, and Zapata put a hand on her back to comfort her, her mouth silently forming a message to Jane. Borden issues.

Jane nodded, trying to put her own hurt feelings aside. She and Tasha had dragged Patterson out here tonight in the hopes of pulling their friend from her depression. After what her ex had done to her—shooting her in the stomach, kidnapping her, standing by while Shepherd tortured her, then implanting a bug in her tooth so that Sandstorm knew everything Patterson told them—she deserved all the compassion and understanding in the world, even if she was taking out her own pain on Jane right then.

"I'm sorry, Jane," Patterson sobbed. "I just… After everything that happened with David, I finally thought I could be happy with Robert. Nigel. God, I didn't even know my own boyfriend's name. And then… And then…" She gave up trying to express herself and just cried, leaning into Zapata's comforting embrace.

"It's okay, Patterson." Jane took her hand across the table, trying to offer some comfort. "I get it."

After a few more moments, Patterson started to collect herself, taking the paper napkin from the table to dry her eyes and blow her nose. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you. It's none of my business. I'm just bitter because I want the kind of love you guys have."

Tasha sighed. "I wouldn't have said it, Jane, but the girl's got a point. Weller is a solid guy, and it's obvious you two love each other. It seems a little pointless that you keep dancing around it like this when you could be happy together."

Jane tried not to get defensive, or to tell her friends to mind their own damn business. She wasn't the gossiping type to begin with, and the way she felt about Kurt was so strong—the idea of discussing it with anyone else made her anxious. But Patterson and Zapata were both concerned about her—it seemed ungrateful not to hear them out, at least.

"Any other thoughts you guys want to get off your chest before we never talk about this again?" she asked, managing to keep the bite out of her voice—almost.

After a quick glance at Patterson, Tasha leaned forward. "I know you two have your issues, but I've never seen Weller look at another woman the way he looks at you. Not Allie, not Nas, not the woman he was seeing back when I first joined his team… Jane, you have nothing to lose by telling him how you feel. When it comes to you, he's all in."

Jane couldn't let herself believe that. She just couldn't.

"If he's all in, why hasn't he asked me out? If I'm so important to him, why does he have a baby on the way with another woman, and why did he start dating Nas five seconds after I came back?" Inwardly, she cringed at the harshness to her tone, but she couldn't help it.

Patterson shook her head sadly. "Because the Taylor Shaw thing messed with his head. Just like Remi and Shepherd wanted it to."

You know who else's head was messed up by the Taylor Shaw thing? Mine. Especially when he looked at me like I was a criminal the day after he kissed me.

Oh, and that's another thing—I am a criminal. A terrorist. And if I don't jump whenever the FBI tells me to, I could end up back in a black site. So don't you dare tell me I'm being dense for not holding out my heart to get ripped to pieces again. If he wants me, he's gonna have to say so, because I can't go through that again. I'm not strong enough to come back from it a second time.

Jane wanted to say the words, to vent the caged frustration in her chest, but she couldn't. It was too personal. They already knew too much of her, from her tattooed skin to her terrorist origins. Some things, she had to keep to herself.

"Anything else?" she asked, prodding at a piece of ice at the bottom of her glass with her straw.

"No, I'm done," Patterson said softly.

"Me too," Zapata murmured.

"Okay. I know you guys are just trying to help, but I don't want to talk about it. So how do we make things not awkward again?"

"More alcohol?" Patterson suggested, giving her a wan smile.

"More alcohol it is." Tasha found her wallet and headed to the bar.

With the help of a couple more drinks, they managed to salvage the rest of the evening, their conversation a little forced at first, but becoming more natural after a while. At the end of the evening, they went their separate ways. Zapata walked home, and Patterson shared Jane's cab, jumping out when it stopped by her place on the way to the safehouse.

Alone with her thoughts, Jane finally had time to think through everything that had been said that night. She'd already made peace with the fact that she and Kurt would never be together, but now her friends had come along and bulldozed a hole in the wall she'd tried to build between herself and her feelings for him.

They meant well, but Jane couldn't help but wish the whole conversation hadn't happened. Patterson and Zapata hadn't seen everything that had ever transpired between her and Kurt. They couldn't know how tangled up everything was, and she didn't want to drag out all the gory details so that they understood.

They were wrong about Kurt, but they were still the best friends she could hope for, and she was so grateful to have their forgiveness after they'd found out the truth about her past.

You love each other, and you'd die for each other.

When it comes to you, he's all in.

He wants you so bad.

He's trying not to think about you…thinking about him…and…you know."

The best friends she could hope for—even if she sometimes wanted to kill them.

As she left the taxi and headed across the street to her safehouse, she realised she was humming along to the chorus now stuck in her head. I don't want anybody else…

That part was true. More than just that part, though she only let him into her fantasies when she was close to the edge—flashes of his smile, or his voice, or his kiss. Remembered moments to tip her into ecstasy. She refused to build up a whole sexy narrative where he played a featuring role from the moment she dipped her fingers between her thighs. That was just setting herself up for heartbreak.

Her mood had taken a dive again since Patterson had wished her goodnight, and Jane just wanted to get into bed and sleep it off. She kicked off her socks and shoes, scrubbed off her makeup and brushed her teeth. She was just about to shut off the living room lights, strip down and crawl into bed when a knock at her apartment door made her frown.

It has to be past midnight by now. Who'd be here at this hour? Did one of the neighbours lock themselves out and need to call someone? Or is it Sandstorm?

She headed through the living room to the door, glancing at her weapon on the side table to make sure it was there if she needed it, then cracked open the door.

"Kurt?" Confused, she dropped her guard and opened the door wider, stepping back to let him in. "What are you doing here?"

He looked just as confused as she was, and more than a little concerned. "I got a text from Patterson, asking me to head over here because you needed me. You okay?"

I will kill her with my bare hands.

Jane stared at him, unable to figure out a way to answer him without inviting more questions about why Patterson would ask him to come over. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. She didn't tell me she was gonna do that. She didn't wake you, did she?"

He shook his head. "I was still up. Had a couple of beers, though, so I walked over. Jane, what's going on? What do you need?"

Damn you, Patterson. What can I say that doesn't sound so trivial that it'll piss him off?

Her alcohol-fogged mind could only come up with one solution to this problem. If she was honest, she could think of two—but she'd already tried ambushing him with a kiss, and that had led to nothing but hope followed by pain. Option two was out of the question.

"Patterson…thinks we need to hook up."

Whatever he'd thought she was about to say, that obviously hadn't even been in the ballpark. His eyebrows shot up as his brain tried to switch tracks. "Okay…" he said noncommittally.

"I told her it was none of her business, but apparently, she disagrees." Jane rubbed her forehead, stressed. "I'm sorry she made you worried enough to come all this way out here."

There. If he's 'all in' like they think he is, this is his opportunity to speak up. But he won't, and on Monday, I will kill them both—

Her train of thought derailed abruptly as he shrugged and smiled. "Don't suppose you have any beer in the fridge?"

As it happened, Jane did. Somehow, she managed not to stammer like an idiot while she offered him a seat and got them both a drink. They sat side by side on the couch, Kurt leaning back against the cushions, relaxed, and Jane sitting slightly hunched over her lap, spinning her beer bottle in her fingers.

"Jane, relax." Kurt took a sip of his beer, watching her. "Would you rather I left?"

"No! No, I—" Jane sighed. "I'm just mad at Patterson."

"For trying to get into our business?"

She couldn't tell what he was feeling, and it was driving her crazy. How could she take her cue from him if he wouldn't give her any cues?

"She thinks she knows how things are between us, but she doesn't."

"Sometimes I barely know how things are between us," Kurt said wryly.

"No kidding," Jane muttered, and took a gulp of her beer. "I know she means well, but—"

"Jane." He reached out and took her hand, startling her into looking at him. It felt as though the whole world held its breath alongside her as she waited for his next words. "I know things with us haven't been easy, but…if I asked you if we could try again, what would you think about that?"

Stunned, she stared at his expression, seeing the mingled fear and hope she felt reflected in his face. "Kurt…"

He waited, but she was speechless. After a couple of seconds, he sat forward, placing his beer on the end table before gently pulling her bottle from her grasp. Once his hands were free, he took both of hers. The moment became more intense the longer it stretched out.

"Jane? I was kind of…hoping for an answer."

She closed her eyes and admitted, "I want to say yes, but…a-after what happened last time you kissed me… I guess I'm scared."

He didn't say anything, but his grasp on her hands remained firm and comforting. When she opened her eyes again, his gaze caught hers, and the way he was looking at her…

I've never seen Weller look at another woman the way he looks at you, Zapata said in her mind.

"I'm scared, too. But I think you're worth it. That we could be worth it."

Still tongue-tied, Jane could only think of one way to convey her answer. Her heart pounding, she leaned in closer, her focus narrowing to the way his breath caught, the tiny hesitation between them before their lips brushed, then collided.

His low, relieved groan sent a shiver of arousal through her as she pressed closer, still half unable to believe this was happening. Kurt wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap, his tongue flirting with hers as the kiss deepened. With every second that passed, the heat of his body and his kiss drained away a little more of her fear, and as she pulled back she finally allowed herself to admit it.

I love you.

"I love you," he murmured, his forehead pressed against hers.

Had she said it out loud without meaning to? No—when she didn't respond his guard came up, just a little. He'd laid out his feelings without knowing for sure if she'd return them, and that meant the world to her.

I guess they were right. He's all in.

"I love you too, Kurt."

He gave her that crooked smile she could never get enough of—one side of his mouth always lower than the other, but in a way that made him even more handsome. "You sure? For a moment there, I thought—"

"I didn't expect you to say it."

"I wasn't planning to. But it's true."

For a while, time blurred as they kissed, their hands hardly wandering as they adjusted to the change between them. Inevitably, things began to heat up, and not long after they'd hit second base Kurt pulled back, sliding his hand up from Jane's breast to her shoulder.

"As much as I want to stay… I think we should stop here for tonight."

Jane frowned at him. "Why?"

"Because we've both had too much to drink, and I don't want you to regret going too far, too fast."

She shook her head, smiling. "There's no such thing as too far with you. You should stay the night."

Kurt groaned. "I know we've been wanting to do this for a while, but—"

"Please don't go," she said, letting him see how unsettled she felt at the thought. "It feels like if you leave now, something else will happen to keep us apart."

He closed his eyes, and she sensed him giving in. "Okay. But if you change your mind and you want to just sleep—"

Jane didn't even bother to answer that, kissing away the rest of his words with gratitude and relief that soon dissolved back into lust.

Long, hedonistic minutes of making out later, Jane pulled Kurt to his feet and led him towards the bedroom. Grinning, Kurt lifted her off the floor and carried her the remaining distance.

The rest of the night became a haze of exploring hands and wandering lips, their bodies arching and surging as their sighs became moans, their moans ecstatic cries.

In a lull between bouts of lovemaking, Jane told him, "I finally heard that song you keep turning off the radio, when we were in the bar tonight."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Which one?"

Jane hummed a few notes, and he rolled them over and pinned her down, nuzzling her neck. "I have a confession to make. I don't want anybody else."

Jane laughed. "Really? Is that the whole confession, or was there some more after that?"

He grinned up at her between kisses over her collar bones. "There might have been a few inappropriate thoughts here and there at…certain times."

"Mmm…" Jane closed her eyes, unable to keep herself from wriggling against him at the thought. "Me too."

He groaned as she reached down between them to guide him inside her again. "We should talk more about that sometime."

"We should. You could give me a demonstration," she suggested, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"I will if you will," he told her, right before his lips came down on hers in a hungry kiss.

That was the last thing either of them said for a while.

Author's Note: In case anyone is mystified about the song referred to in this fic, it's I Touch Myself by The DiVinyls. ;) And no, I really don't plan a second chapter for this one, sorry!