She puts off going to sleep. She busies herself with mindless, unnecessary tasks that give that an excuse to stay away from her bed. It is only when all the pots are washed, cushions plumped and paper work completed that she realises what she has been doing. Standing in the quiet loft, Emma stands to listen to the intakes and exhales of breath from the four sleeping people that are so peaceful in their dreams. She cannot sleep for she knows the nightmares will haunt her, taunt her and living through them would be too much to bear. She sees it happen every time she closes her eyes for even a moment anyway, the thought of hours worth of darkness is not an option.
Eventually Emma finds herself creeping upstairs to join Henry in their room. She stands at the end of his bed and watches his chest move up and down rhythmically until she catches herself staying and moves to her own bed. Being unable to turn in the light in year of waking her son, she scrolls absent-mindedly through her phone to distract her from reality.
She wakes up screaming. She doesn't know how long she has been asleep, her dreams seemed to go on for several agonising hours. She can feel tears streaming down her cheeks and she struggles to breathe in her panic. As she becomes more aware of her surroundings she is suddenly aware of a weight on the edge of her bed, Henry's face is pale, his forehead wrinkled and his mouth a tight line. Her voice is breathless as she questions him.
"Henry? What happened?"
He glances back towards the stairs before replying in a whisper.
"You were screaming in your sleep again."
She winces at his words and leans forward to place her hand on his cheek.
"I'm sorry Henry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. You should go back to bed."
She tries to brush off his worries with a scruff of his hair. He stands and turns towards his bed before tuning back to her.
"We are going to get him back, you know. We won't give up on him."
"I know Kid."
She watches him climb back under his covers and eventually drift back to sleep as she recovers from her nightmares. He dies every time. She has to watch her True Love sacrifice himself to save them both- to save everyone-over and over. She hates that he left her. But she knows one thing, Henry was right; they will get him back, they won't give up. Emma Swan will literally go to Hell for the man she loves.