Disclaimer: I do not own Mario

The Death Trio

And there they were, The Death Trio. Uber-Dave, Ultra-John, and The Pete Of Doom. Mario seemed unfazed by the destruction they had left in their wake, but that might be due to the large amounts of cannabis he had smoked earlier that day. He was brought back to his senses by a swift kick up the arse, courtesy of Link.

"Oww!" Yelled Mario while flying 12 foot in the air. "What the hell-a was that-a for?"

"Get a move on! They're heading for the city!" Replied Link

"Bloody stoner . . ." That was Kirby.

"Hey, I heard-a that!" Exclaimed Mario, which was quite an accomplishment, considering he was so out of his head on drugs that he couldn't figure out what the big red blob obscuring his eyes was. "What's-a this big red-a blob-a in front of my-a eyes anyways?!?!"

Kirby sighed. "Jesus Christ, it's your hat! It was your hat an hour ago, and it's your hat now!"

"Well . . . well . . . you're-a pink!"

"STOP IT GUYS! Arguing will not help! Mushroom City is in trouble! Come on!" Link was always good at restoring order to unruly cartoon heroes. "Mario, Peach is down there!"

These words seem to have at least a little effect. "Ok, let's go.".

And so they headed out. It took them 6 hours, 9 minutes and 47 seconds to reach the city, because Mario had ordered the wrong warp pipe while in his drug induced haze. They had meant to get there before the bad guys, but it ended up that they only got there after most of the city was destroyed. The only building that was left standing was Trus T. Toad's Explosive Emporium.

"Bollocks."

One word, uttered by Kirby, summed everything up. None of our heroes saw Uber-Dave as a formidable adversary, Ultra-John was more of a challenge, but not much more, and The Pete Of Doom was simply a pushover. But they had managed to destroy the city (most of it) before our heroes could stop them.

"You bloody stoner! You ruined everything!" Kirby continued "This is all your fault Mario!"

"What? Nobody told me I was-a working today! All I wanted to-a do was stay-a in-a and get-a stoned!"

"That's all you do all day every day!"

"You-a wanna take take-a this outside?"

"What? We are outside you retard!"

"Shut it you-a little pink-a windbag!"

"Well at least I don't have a poofy 'tache!"

As the argument grew, Link noticed something in the distance. Three figures, people maybe, walking stealthily in front of the moonlight. One tall, one short, and one fat. Uber-Dave, Ultra-John, and The Pete Of Doom! It had to be!

"Hey guys . . ."

"Well you're-a fat! Just like your-a Mamma!" (Mario)

"Guys . . ."

"Who are you calling fat, lard lad? You need to lay off the pasta you chubby bastard!"(Kirby)

"GUYS!! Shut the hell up and look at this!"

The little pink dude and the dungaree-wearing Italian man looked over to where Link was standing, and saw what he was looking at. They were in for a light show.

"We will-a sort-a this out at the next-a Smash Tournament!"

"Why bother? You know I will kick your arse!"

"What-a the F-?"

"Will you guys shut it and watch?!? Something's going down over there!"

And it was. Balls of light where exploding from the centre of each of the figures. Yellow for the tall one (Uber-Dave), pink for the short one (Ultra-John) and Green for the fat one (The Pete Of Doom). These glowing globes then joined together and these was an explosion of lilac light. All three of our heroes gasped (even Mario managed a slight surprised grunt).

"B-B-B-Bowser . . ."

"Ganondorf . . ."

"King Dedede . . ."

The figures weren't The Death Trio at all, but all three of our heroes arch enemies . . .