SSB Breaking News: Link found dancing on top of a food crate
Marth: Hello, I am Marth, and I will be the one telling you about this event. Everyone was having a great time, until somebody discovered Link dancing on top of a food crate. To make matters worse, he was doing Fortnite dances. And now, some opinions from these fellows.
Luigi: IT'S TERRIBLE!!! WE NEED TO PROTECT THE KIDS!!! PIT!! WE MUST PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Lucina: Link is a moron.
Palutina: *in the background* LINK! THINK OF THE KIDS!!! THE POOR KIDS!!!
Kirby: ... LET'S BE FRIENDS-
Marth: Everyone is freaking out, except for a few beings who think that Link is being an idiot at the moment. Most believe that dancing on a crate of oranges is bad, but Link is dancing on a crate of bread. That's even worse. Like Mario said once, "All toasters toast toast," although some poor people don't have toasters, therefore, they cannot toast toast. They are just eating bread. And with Link doing the orange justice on top of the bread crate, those poor, innocent ones shall not have bread to eat, for when they recieve the money to buy toasters, there will be no point, because they don't have bread to make the toast. This is a scary situation, for toast is the root of self esteem, and without self esteem, nobody would want to eat any chicken strips, which has nothing to do with anything. And now it sounds like everybody is calming down, so Link might no longer dance on top of food crates. Therefore, we shall now enjoy our toast in peace.
SSB Breaking News: Yoshi Stampede
Marth: Everyone is once again freaking out, but this time, it's because of a yoshi stampede-*gets ran over by the yoshi stampede*
We'll be right back.