Twelve years ago, a huge fox attacked the Konoha. It had 9 tails that smashed mountains and made tidal waves. The village ninjas, however, held out until the Fourth Hokage then came on a frog and fought the fox, then sealed the fox in a baby, and then died.
His sacrifice would live on forever.
RISE!
TSUYOSA!
WE!
WILL!
RISE!
WE!
WILL!
RISE!
TSUYOSA!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
RISE!
TSUYOSA!
RISE!
TSUYOSA!
NARUTO ™
"WAAAAHHHH!" a baby Naruto cried.
*12 year timeskip*
"HAHAHAHA!"
A little kid was running through the Konoha with a bucket of yellow fluid. His name was obviously Naruto and if I needed to describe him to you, you should really be on another archive.
Two extremely low-level chuunin were chasing him and were being outclassed by his superior speed.
"NARUTO! GET OVER HERE! IF I COULD JUST GET MY HANDS ON YOU...!"
"YOU DUN CROSSED THE LINE THIS TIME, KID!"
"Give it up! HAHAHA! You're just bent because you don't got the guts to do what I do!
LOSERS! WANNABES! WANNABE-CHUUNIN!
YA'LL NEVER GONNA CATCH ME!"
He had committed the ultimate sin: drawing shit on the hokage mountain-faces.
He drew fat cheeks, chopsticks up the nose, and a tick-tac-toe game on the first Hokage. It was a tie.
He drew baka, a tongue and flowery moustache and eyelashes on the second Hokage.
He drew a scar on the Fourth's chin, another chopstick up the nice, stupid-looking blue eyes like his, and more chubby cheeks.
He made the Third cry and gave it a head scar and a chin scar. You know, the chin scar...it was like one of those typical anime scars.
You ever seen Kura vs. Roto in the Dark Tournament, YYH?
Well, whatever.
"The Third Hokage! It's an emeeerrrrgeeennnccyyy!"
"Don't tell me it's Naruto again..."
The hokage—an old, wrinkly, tanned man with a grey beard and liver spots—was visibly irritated, on the ground mat and trying to scrawl in his white and red hokage robes and red hokage(graduation) hat, but the "chuunin" on his right hammered his point in like a little cry baby:
"But it IS Naruto again! He drew all over the stone faces!"
Then the other one backed him up: "He put graffiti all over the hokage!"
Apparently, the Third had told them off, because they ended up chasing him by themselves again, and once again, they were getting smoked by the brat.
Like idiots, they ran right past him when he covered himself in a sheet painted like the wooden fence he hid next to.
"DAHhaha! That was too easy!"
Suddenly a black man with a ponytail appeared behind him.
"Oh yeah, Narutoo?!""
It was the chuunin from earlier. Like most chuunin, he wore a green flak jacket with the Konoha village's "fire" symbol on its back. Underneath it was some sort of blue, unitard.
...oh, look: There were fire symbols on the shoulders of the unitard, too.
And his right knee was bandaged up over the unitard.
He'd probably gotten his ass beat.
Naruto was such a scared bitch that he flew up into the air and landed on his.
"Where'd you come from, Iruka-sensei? What are you doing here...?"
"No, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in class!"
BOO YAH! HAH!
"I'm at the end of my rope, Naruto!" Iruka yelled at the kid who was now tied up in rope and on the ground in front of him.
They were in a large, seminar-type classroom with over a dozen students seated at wooden desks in from of a podium and black chalkboard. The white wall on which the board set held taped papers with illegible words written on them. Naruto was in the very front and on the floor.
The class of kids watched on as Naruto got what he deserved.
"You failed the graduation test last time and the time before that. Tomorrow, you've got another chance, and you're messing up again!"
...
"...Naruto?"
...
"What the hell?!"
"ZZZZZzzzzzz"
"You little—you...WAKE UP!"
"Uh...
...wha...?"
Iruka closed his eyes in anger, and then pointed at Chouji who was eating chips in the class: a big no-no.
"Hey! Chouji! Since you can't stop munchin' for one damn second, you're ALL gonna review the transformation Jutsu again!"
"Awww...!" the class sighed...except for Sa—one student.
Chouji nervously put the chips under his desk, amid the hateful eyes of (most of) his classmates.
Someone spit on him.
Someone threw a paper ball at his head.
"All right, Sakura here; let's do it!" a pink-haired girl with a red kimono exclaimed.
"Who the hell are you talking to?" someone said.
A good deal of the class, now lined up for the transformation tests, started laughing.
"Your dad, you pig!" Sakura lashed out—she knew who it was who embarrassed her:
It was her eternal rival, Ino.
Ino was a blonde with abnormally large blue eyes (really green...fuck it), which meant you just knew she was full of win. Her fashion sense said the same...
...purple, open dress; purple, cowled vest, gratuitous bandages that are just for fashion...etc...
...
...yeah. Really, we all know what she looks like. Hell, I shouldn't even have to do anyone's descriptions, dammit... ...not like a real story, anyway.
But I still will, though: cuz I love you guys.
I'm probably gonna half-ass them though.
So: "Oh, what did you say, Billboard-Brow?"
Sakura and Ino had kept on arguing with each other, with the other students awkwardly watching, but when Ino insulted Sakura's, just barely noticeably slightly large forehead, the girl snapped and hit Ino.
Ino and the class were shocked.
And then Ino punched Sakura in the face, knocking her down.
"OOOOOHH!"
Most of the class tried to keep 'em at it, and it worked: Iruka stepped over and told them to cut it out at once, but they couldn't hear him because they were too busy hitting and kicking each other with serious fury.
It looked like he was gonna have to go in it.
But before he did, a girl at around Sakura's height came up to the two who were fighting. Even though...well, I don't think the ninja have seasons, but it's always like summer in the Konoha...
...anyway, even though it was always summer in the Konoha, she wore short jean leggings and heavy, beige jacket with a furred hemline, two dangling drawstrings, and two of the fire symbols of its upper sleeves, like Iruka. She had a bandage over her left leg, but since they weren't ninja, it probably obviously wasn't due to fighting.
Her wide blue—I mean white...irises...penetrated Sakura and Ino, the fellow academy ninja before her, and her stern expression made them freeze in their places: Sakura on the ground, as Ino prepared to punch her in the face again.
"Sorry if I'm wrong, but...didn't Iruka-sensei say we had to 'review the transformation Jutsu'?"
...
"Umm...
...yeah..."
"H—he...did..."
Sakura and Ino just might've wet themselves.
Ino quickly got back in line where she belonged, followed by Hinata who had resumed the lesson.
"Thank you, Hinata." Iruka said.
Hinata nodded, staring off at the empty right side of the classroom, away from Iruka; and now, Sakura continued.
"All right, here we go: Transform!"
In a puff of white smoke, the girl disappeared and a figure of Iruka took her place. She looked like that figure. She was that figure. She had transformed into Iruka. She had done the transformation Jutsu.
"Transformed into me? Good."
Iruka checked her off.
"YES! I DID IT! YEAAHH! YES!
I KICK BUTT!
That was her alter-ego—or, eh, a "display" of her inner feelings...
Or something like that.
"Shikamaru, did you see that?!" she asked, all excited and fangirl-like.
"Ehm, yeah, whatever... Nice one, Sakura." the boy indifferently replied, rubbing the back of his head.
(I'm gonna get this outta the way, fast: He wore a grey mesh shirt wit crossing designs underneath a grey and green-lined jacket that had its random bisected-circle symbols at the same place as all of the others [near the shoulders]. He wore short brown jeans had two unnecessary bandages on his right thigh.)
To him it was clear that this girl basically lived for him...
...but he didn't feel any of it. It was too awkward, he felt, as he leaned against the front right desk.
"Next: Sasuke Uchiha."
Sakura moved to the back of the line for the next exercise, and now Sasuke, a top student with a blue hooded-shirt (with the fire emblem on its back, of course) and white shorts was up.
He walked up, did a flawless transformation, and then left with his hands in his pockets.
Evidently, he didn't give a shit about this sorry class.
"Uhh...good." the chuunin said.
But he really thought: "Damn, I didn't even get to finish grading Sakura yet..."
"Next: Naruto Uzumaki." the teacher said.
Naruto began walking forward, his hands behind his head.
"What're you gonna do this time, Naruto? Buttstache? Heh heh." Shikamaru chuckled. He was on Naruto's left side; Ino was on his right.
Ino shook her head and smiled, blushing and waiting to see what he would do—along with the rest of the anxious class: He was pretty much famous for his mischief-making tendencies.
When Naruto got in front of everyone and was only a few feet from Iruka, he pointed at the instructor, boasting: "Okay, I'm not only going to turn into you, Sensei: I'll do it without saying a word, like Sasuke!"
Everyone in the class hoped that he was on his best, today.
"Transform!"
A swirl of blue chakra appeared, and out of the ensuing cloud of white smoke was his transformation.
He had transformed into a naked, tanned Usagi Tsukino.
Usagi sensually moaned towards her teacher who then had a nosebleed so powerful that its forced recoiled him back into the chalkboard meters behind him.
And he screamed the whole way down, too.
"Ha ha hahaha ha! Got you! That's my Sexy Jutsu!" he proudly exclaimed.
...
"YEAAAHHHH!
YEAAAHHHH!
YEAAAHHHH!
YEAAAHHHH!
YEAAAHHHH!
YEAAAHHHH!
YEAAAHHHH!"
The class couldn't get enough of that. This Sexy Jutsu of his was TOP CLASS!
"YEAAAHHHH!
YEAAAHHHH!
YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!
NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO!
(Oh yeah! Gimme the lovin'!) he thought, grinning; his hand raised to his right ear. He was definitely enjoying the moment.
Suddenly, though, Iruka came to.
In an instant, he was in Naruto's face, fuming. All of the kid's cheerers abruptly fell silent.
Naruto knew what was coming next...
"CUT THE CHILDISH CRAP! THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!"
After school had ended, Naruto was back at the stone faces, on a lift near the First Hokage's chin, and he was busy scrubbing all of the graffiti off with a wet rag.
"This sucks." he grumbled. "Loser."
"You're not going home till you've cleaned off every single drop of paint!" Iruka ordered from the top of the face's headband.
"So what? It's not like there's anyone waiting at home for me!"
...
That really got to Iruka.
Now he was feeling sympathetic to the poor child. This boy, Naruto, never knew his parents. He lived all alone.
...
"...Naruto?"
Naruto looked up from his cleaning duty.
"What do you want, now, Sensei?"
"Well...I was just thinking: Maybe after you clean this all up, I could take you out for some ramen. The good stuff, what do ya think?"
TSUYA!
"Huh?!" said the now-perky Naruto.
HAH!
"Now that's some serious motivation!"
WA-TSUYA!
I'll have this cleaned up in no time!"
ROKU!
参上！うずまきナルト (Enter: Naruto Uzumaki!)
TATATATATATA!
It was dusk in Konoha, and the "chuunin" was now at a ramen bar with his number one prick student.
Naruto was just killing that ramen. But Iruka couldn't eat.
"Naruto..."
"Mmm?" he said, his mouth full of noodles.
"Why would you do that to the hokage faces? I mean you know who the hokage are, don't you?"
"'Course I do!"
Seven boring and kind of nasty seconds later, he finished slurping the noodles and answered his teacher's question.
"Everybody knows! They were the greatest shinobi of their time, right? The best of the best; the undefeated ninja champs?
...
And the Fourth Hokage was the one who saved the village, from the Nine-tailed Fox! He was the most amazing!"
"Then why did you—"
"Because I'm going to be better than any of 'em!
Me: Naruto: The next hokage: A ninja legend! Then everyone will have to stop disrespecting me, and look up to me! Believe it!"
...
Iruka was left rather speechless by how idiotic that had sounded, coming from this dunce. He had no chance of making chuunin, and that was if he passed the academy test and made genin.
Not.
Fucking.
Likely.
"Uh, by the way: I kinda wanna ask a little favor, Sensei..."
"You want another bowl?"
"Mm-mm: I...wanna try on your headband. Come on, please?"
"Uhh...
...oh, this?"
He adjusted his forehead protector, the headband/metal plate combo that all ninja ranked genin and above wore. It had a design of the Konoha's leaf symbol on it, identifying him as a member of the village.
"No way!" he smiled. "You can only wear the leaf headband when you finally graduate from the academy and become a ninja. You've gotta pass the test, tomorrow."
"That is so uncool!"
"Hehehey: Is that why you took off your goggles?"
"Uhh...I want another bowl!"
"Hahaha!"
The next day was the final exam day, and Iruka was speaking to the class, preparing to administer it.
"We will now start the final exam. When your name is called, proceed to the testing room. The final test will be on: the clone Jutsu."
("Arghh!) thought Naruto who was no doubt wishing he had .trained all of yesterday, as opposed to bulling around like he did.
(That's my worst technique! Great: I'm never gonna pass!")
TSUYA!
*In the exam room*
Naruto stood in front of a sitting Iruka, ready to be tested. A pale chuunin with straight, neck-length white hair sat behind him, on his left.
TSU-RE!
(All right: Get it together, Naruto! You can do this!)
WA-TSU!
(Believe it...!)
TSU-RE!
TSU-RE!
HAH!
In a puff of smoke, Naruto's clone appeared beside him—dead on the ground and ultra-colorless.
He was clowning around again...
ASS-SUH!
Naruto laughed nervously and asked for a retake—seriously this time. But Iruka gave no damns.
"YOU FAIL!"
"Agh?!"
"Iruka-sensei..."
Iruka turned.
"He's off, but his moves weren't bad and he did hang in there and replicate. This is his third try, so you know he really wants to become a ninja. We could cut him a break and pass him."
"Huh?!" Naruto said, getting thrilled.
"Mizuki-sensei," Iruka began, "the other students created at least three effective replications...but Naruto could only create one; and look at it: it's lifeless like shit. Just like his clown ass would be if I passed him. So, I can't."
"Ughh!"
Naruto was sitting by himself, depressed, while all of the other students and their family and friends were celebrating. He was the only one who didn't pass the exam.
"May, see that? They called me first!" "Yeah? Well, I passed it with flying colors!" "I wasn't talking to you!"
"Now you can move on in life! Hahaha! I wish your grandma could see this, Mike; she would've been proud of you. I'm proud of you, son. We all are."
"I'm a ninja now! A genin!"
"Congratulations! I'm going to make all your favorites tonight! We'll have a feast!"
"There: You see him?"
"It's that boy, Naruto: I heard he's the only one who failed."
"Hmph; well, what a waste of a perfectly good ninja."
"Just imagine what would happen if he became a ninja! I mean he's the boy who—"
"Shh! We're not allowed to talk about that!"
Naruto covered his face with his goggles, but then he heard a thump and looked up from his lone spot.
It was Mizuki who stood beside him, smiling.
"Hn...?"
The Third Hokage stood beside Iruka against a wall on the other side of the crowd.
"All right!" a nooblet said. "We finally got our headbands,now! I've been waiting for this!"
"Iruka...
...there's something we need to talk about."
Naruto had left the swing.
"Iruka-sensei's tough. But he knows you were able to pass back there." Mizuki said.
"Then why? Why only me?"
He and Naruto were now up on the high deck of some building.
...
"He wants you to be mature. But that'll never happen if he goes easy on you."
"Pft. Then I might as well give up on becoming hokage..."
...
"He's like you, ya know? No parents, no family..."
"But...
...this time I really wanted to graduate."
"Then you shouldn't have acted stupid...
...but...
...but there is a way, still.
Hmhmhm:" he chuckled, "then I guess I have to tell you."
"Huh?"
HAH!
"It's a secret, but I'm gonna let you in on it."
HAH!
(A secret...)
TSA!
TSUYA!
Iruka was lying on his bed, contemplating on what the hokage told him.
("Iruka...
"What is it...Lord Hokage?"
"I know how you feel. You grew up just like Naruto. Without knowing the love of a mother and father. The warmth of a family.")
...
And when the village fought against the Nine-tails
...
("It's getting closer! Don't let it near the village!" Shinobi were trying to fight off the Nine-tails...and losing. Meanwhile, a child Iruka was being carried away from the battle.
"Let me go! My mom and dad are still fighting back there! AAHHH!") *knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
*knock*
"Iruka-sensei! Wake up!"
Iruka got up and hurried to open the door.
"What? What is it?"
"You need to come to Lord Hokage's right away. It's Naruto: He stole the sacred scroll."
"You mean the 'sacred' sacred scroll? No!"
"Let's see..." Naruto said, looking through the scroll.
"The first one is 'multi-shadow clone Jutsu'.
...sounds easy enough."
"Lord Hokage, this ain't no damn prank! This is serious stuff, man!"
"That scroll contains secrets that were sealed up by the First Hokage! Secrets known only to our village!"
"If it was to fall into the wrong hands, it could destroy our entire way of life."
...
"You: You said 'ain't'. That's nonstandard.
You paired 'up' and 'by': two prepositions—nonstandard.
You used the subjunctive tense incorrectly. 'Were,' dammit! 'Were'!
You're all nonstandard! And you will be executed for informal language directed at me, immediately!"
"But—"
"The rest of you, bring Naruto here at once!"
"Sir!"
Now he was alone with the three impudent ninja.
"Sir, we meant no disrespe—"
"DRAGON FLAME JUTSU!"
"AHHHH!"
Iruka couldn't find Naruto, even after searching haphazardly through the Konoha.
"Damn! Where did he go?"
Mizuki was looking crazy, now, running through the streets with a large shuriken that I had rented from the Fuuma clan in the Land of S—and he was going to use it to...
...well, just listen:
"Now that I've told everyone what Naruto did, I can eliminate him! They'll be glad he's gone! And of course, I get to keep the scroll for myself."
Naruto had just finished testing out his new Jutsu when Iruka stomped over to him, his hands at his hips, like he was some—
"It's all over! Heh heh heh heh heh."
"Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh."
"Hm?"
"Got me already; not bad!" he laughed, rubbing his head. "You're quick, Sensei: I only had time to learn one technique!
(Because I only looked at one...)"
...
(He's been out here practicing! I can tell how hard he's been working.)
Naruto stopped laughing, then said: "Listen, Iruka-sensei: I'm gonna show you this amazing Jutsu, and you're gonna let me graduate, then everything'll be okay!
That's the way it works, right? Anyone who learns a Jutsu from this scroll passes!"
"Hm?! Where'd you get that idea!"
"Mizuki-sensei told me about it! Believe it!
He told me where to find the scroll, and this place..." Naruto replied as he turned around, showing Iruka the huge scroll on his back, and his bright orange ass.
(Huh? Mizuki?!)
Suddenly a barrage of kunai knives flew straight for Naruto who was still looking at Iruka!
"Hm? Look out!"
Iruka noticed them just in time, and pushed Naruto out of the way, but he got hit, hard...
...luckily, his flak jacket protected him from being too injured.
"I see you've found our little hideaway."
"So that's the way it is, huh? I should've known!"
Mizuki was up in the trees, watching Naruto and Iruka.
"Naruto! Give me the scroll, now!"
"But...you just tried to kill me. Presumably to get the scroll..."
His legs were still hurt, though. As he took a kunai out of his right leg, he shouted: "Naruto: Don't let Mizuki get the scroll! It contains forbidden Jutsu towards the end, after all of the normal ones, that could put the Konoha in great danger! Mizuki used you to get the scroll for himself! For his own power!"
"Naruto...
...Iruka's just trying to scare you because he doesn't want you to have the scroll!"
...
"What the fuck?
Dude, you just tried to kill me to get the scroll. Tried to kill me.
And you aimed at me even when you said I could have the scroll, and to find it! Then you said 'Give me the scroll!' And now it's mine again?! You'll full of shit!"
"Yes, Naruto! Mizuki's lying to you!"
"Haha; I'm lying? You know who's really lying to you, Naruto? Oh, I'll tell you who's really lying."
"No, Mizuki!"
"They've been lying to you your whole life, Naruto...since the decree twelve years ago." he smirked.
"What...decree?"
"Everyone knows except you. Iruka's trying to hide it from you even now, he'd do anything to shut me up!"
"What is this decree? Why does everyone else know about it?"
"DON'T TELL HIM, IT'S FORBIDDEN!"
"The decree is no one can tell you the Nine-tailed fox is inside you."
"Wha...?"
"The fox spirit that killed Iruka's parents and destroyed our village has taken over your body! YOU ARE THE NINE-TAILED FOX!" "STOP IT!"
"They've all been sneaking around, hiding things from you your whole life! Didn't you think it was strange how they treated you?
Like a jonin! Like they loved you and you've barely been alive!"
"Uh...what's your point?
Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Hell, that's awesome! I'm like, the most popular guy in my class."
"Naruto?!" Iruka said, surprised.
"Why keep that a secret from me? I don't get it.
Anyway, I'm gonna tell what you did! Try and catch me!"
"Running away, huh?!"
Mizuki throws two aimed kunai at Naruto, pinning him to the ground. And then he takes the huge Fuuma shuriken off from his back.
"Iruka, remind me to thank Sasame for lending me this badass shuriken, will ya!"
He launches the huge shuriken at Naruto; the kid is still stuck on the ground.
Iruka then recalls the rest of his conversation with the Third.
(Iruka, Naruto never had a mother or father to care for him. He's shut out of everything and doesn't know why. Most people won't even look at him. How would you feel if everywhere you went, people turned their backs on you? That's why he gets in trouble: so people will notice him. It may not show, but he's always thinking about the family he doesn't have. He's hurting inside.)
"DIE! NARUTO!"
Naruto tried to escape from the shuriken, but by the time he threw the deep kunai away, there was no time for him.
"NARUTO! GET DOWN!"
*hit*
Iruka had crouched above Naruto.
He had taken the shuriken in his back.
"Argh!"
"Wha...? Why?"
...
"Because we're the same.
When I lost my parents, no one seemed to care. They didn't have time for me. They just forgot I was there. My grades dropped. I became the class clown. I just wanted them to see me...and to know my name. My schoolwork wasn't good enough to get their attention. So I did crazy things. And then I had to pay for it. It was hard.
But I know that's how you feel, Naruto.
You feel lonely, and it hurts inside. And I could've been there for you more." "Ah..."
"I let you down. I'm sorry. No one should have to suffer that much. No should be alone like that.
Now, excuse me while I kick this guy's ass."
"Huh?"
Iruka lied injured on top of Naruto, and then exploded in a cloud of white smoke.
"Huh?! A shadow clone!" Mizuki shouted.
And as soon as he turned around to look for the real thing, he saw the sharp metal blade of a kunai pointed right at his face.
"You're finished." Iruka said.
"Ugh...damn..."
Iruka slashed Mizuki's legs for good measure, and then he brought the loser over to Naruto.
"Hey, Naruto. I'm gonna promote you if you show me the Jutsu you learned. But only if it's B-rank or higher."
"It IS B-rank or higher! Believe it!
Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu!"
"Hm..." Iruki pondered, interested in the name of this technique.
"It'll never work." Mizuki remarked, bitterly.
"Shut up, dammit!" Iruka yelled.
Naruto's teacher punched the rogue chuunin in the face, knocking him out cold.
Just as Mizuki hit the ground, the entire copse they were all in became surrounded with explosions of white smoke, and then it turned out to be the Jutsu's doing. At least 100 clones had been created by Naruto, and they all looked exactly like him.
"Wow. I can't believe I'm finally getting to say this, but...
...all right! You pass! You are now a ninja!
When we get back to the village, I'll see to it that you get your headband! And to celebrate, I have a surprise: we're going out for ramen tonight!"
...
"Hn?"
"...IRUKA-SENSEI!"
Naruto hopped on Iruka, in joy, laughing.
"That hurts!" he laughed.
(Naruto, this is only the beginning. The road gets tougher now that you're a ninja. But if I told you that, I guess it would ruin the moment. So, I'll tell you later...
...over ramen.)