It seemed almost ironic. In high school, it had been Ritsu who had initiated everything, and tried so hard, Takano remembered. With that goofy hair style-bangs parted on either side, fully revealing the boy's marsh-green eyes, which lit up every time he talked to Takano, or Saga, as he was called then.
Back then, those beautiful eyes had quickly become Masamune's favorite part of his Ritsu.
Oda Ritsu was naive, blushing, sweet, silly and kind, and quickly became one of Saga's favorite reasons to get up every morning. He reasoned privately in his mind that no one else could be as open and warm as Ritsu. His Ritsu.
The kitten in Takano's house back when he was in high school-Yokozawa named it Midori, and Takano quickly started to see that the adorable animal in his mind had become the feline version of Ritsu. Tiny, sweet, and loving.
Flash foward to years later, Midori now with her own kittens, and the new employee in the emerald manga section that he was the boss of.
The man was lean, polite, and reminded Takano achingly of someone-that someone, Ritsu Oda. However, this man's name was Ritsu Onodera, and he was nothing like the bashful boy who had disappeared, seemingly, off the face of the earth, after that disastrous evening with Takano. It was a cruel coincidence the universe provided to drive the nail deeper into Takano's heart.
But the minute Takano saw his eyes, those eyes, his instincts took over, and he swooped in and kissed Ritsu, and even after all those years remembered the feel of those lips, of his first love, and quite possibly his last one as well.
However, as the seconds ticked by after the kiss, Ritsu looked up, and something inside Masamune curdled. Even though his cheeks were bright red (somethings never change), his eyes were cold. He had never seen his love's eyes so unflinchingly unfeeling, as if he wanted to freeze this man out.
In the days and months that passed, it became obvious to Masamune that this was a new Ritsu, changed by pain and other things. His shoulders were a tad broader, his voice a tad deeper, and he was much thinner-something that suggested many nights spent crying, for some reason. His eyes were cold, his mannerisms were cold, and he always, always kept Masamune at a distance, and this is what hurt Takano the most.
Ritsu's skin became Takano's new favorite part of him, for two reasons-his eyes were too painful, but his flushed skin told Takano how exactly the taller man was affecting him.
Ritsu would sleep with him, still, sometimes, and Takano would close his eyes for a while and pretend nothing had changed.
However, those incidents were like dreams, or a flying bird. Takano would have Ritsu for an evening or a night, and he always, always managed to escape the next morning, forgetting about the things he shouted the night before.
Takano Masamune has only been in love with two people, Oda Ritsu and Onodera Ritsu, and he considers them both different people.