I don't own Nanoha or Negima
Prologue: sad eyes of the devil
She knew that he should have died… why she was still living was a mystery to her, looking up from a laying position she saw a blinding white ceiling… the same sight as all of those months ago… same as the previous week… the same as the previous day same as the previous hour… the same as the previous minute… same as the previous second "I'm starting to hate the color white", she thought briefly in a spite that was uncharacteristic of her. "Wait… isn't my dress… what was it called again… white?" she countered herself. "That's easy to fix isn't it I'll just wear a different color from now on… maybe black… that seems sinister… black devil… doesn't have the same ring to it… red devil… red… red comet… he he… maybe if I go by that I'll be three times faster than before… or maybe just devil would work", she monologued inside her head trying to decipher her current dilemma… trying to think. "Thinking…" she noticed that lately she had been doing a lot of that.
About what exactly?
Could it be about Physics?
Or religion?
Maybe philosophy?
Strength? Or maybe that she seemed to have an amazing lack of it?
The last one seemed to be the one that always seemed to come back now that she thought about it, a split second between failure and success… and she was weak enough to have failed.
She hated it…
Being weak….?
Being powerless…?
Not living up to her reputation…?
Or was it the fact that they were stronger than her…?
Not being the strongest…
Being the strongest had always been appealing to her…
To have power…
To no longer be powerless like she once was…
To look back and say that she had made the right choice in accepting this life those 4 years ago…
To stand over everyone else as the strongest…
No… that wasn't it…
Then maybe to protect…?
Protect what…?
Friends…?
Family…?
Ideals…?
Did she actually know…?
Or was it that she only wanted power for the sake of having power…?
Maybe it was a mixture of all of them…
Maybe it was none of them…
"Perhaps…" She would always start that statement before realizing that she didn't know what to stay… no say next…
Perhaps what…?
Did she actually have an answer… or was she just fooling herself into thinking that?
Was that it…?
Did she actually want an answer…?
Or did she just want to feel like she had all of them…?
Maybe she wanted knowledge?
Knowledge…
Nine letters…
Only eight of the 26 in the English alphabet…
Yet why did she suddenly want it?
For power…?
Was knowledge actually power…?
Or did she just want both?
Knowledge… power… power… knowledge…
…is it really okay to want them because she didn't have them?
"Is it?" she asked herself out loud, looking over to a window she saw that it was almost morning "no…" she came to a conclusion "I want power for something I don't know… I want knowledge to know what that power is for… yet I'll never have the right knowledge if I'm not powerful enough…" she quickly rationalized; getting off the bed she walked to the window.
Outside the hospital a blast of pink ripped through the walls with an amazing amount of force, sending screams of chaos echoing throughout the house of healing as she walked out un-noticed, her light brown hair hanging loosely behind her, violet purple eyes blank without focus before adjusting to the darkness changing into light, and dangling from her fingers was a night black ribbon blowing in the wind generated by the vacuum of the fire "I know I'll find the answers… or die trying".
The figure that was once known as the white devil… and later known as the ace of aces walked through a particular kingdom on non-administrative planet 98… the kingdom of Hellas as if it were her backyard… looking for power and knowledge… for why she was uncertain… yet somehow she knew that the answer would come to her in time "what a wonderful night" she cheered uncaringly.
Author's notes
I regret nothing…