Story: "Know Your Enemy"
Author: StJimmyHasSinned
A/N: Yay! More face-slapping for Billie Joe Armstrong! I'm sorry if anybody finds this offensive, but I'm just stating my opinion, which is that Billie Joe may be great in Green Day, but he just doesn't belong on Broadway. Lizsername and I were Facebook chatting and I suddenly started putting myself in Tony's place, which is where this idea came from. So, remember when Tony and Aspen Vincent left for a week for some "family issues"? Well, here's what really went down…(not really, but this is my idea of it.)
WARNINGS: a tiny bit of language and Tony-bashing :(
DISCLAIMER: The title is from Green Day, obviously. The waffle bit is from Theo Stockman's twitter person. Sadly, I do not own these people. I am, in no way, making profit from this.
The St. James Theatre:
Billie Joe Armstrong: You know what would be awesome? If I could perform as St. Jimmy for some shows! That would be fucking amazing, and it would attract a lot of the old Green Day fans!
Michael Mayer: Hey, that's not a bad idea! We could raise a lot of money for the show that way! There's only one problem…Tony Vincent plays Jimmy…
Billie Joe: Hmm, if only there was some way we could convince Tony to—
Tony (walking in with suitcases): Hey, um, I need to talk about something…
Billie Joe: Go on…
Tony: I'm sort of…well…My awesome Italian family is having some issues back home…I need to fly out to New Mexico and miss about a week of performing…Would that be okay?
Michael/ Billie (shoving Tony out the door): YES!
Albuquerque, New Mexico:
Family: Anthony! You and your wife are here!
Tony: Yes, yes. So, what's the issue?
(They discuss their awesomely Italian family problems)
Tony: I might even quit American Idiot in a few months to work on my music…And plus, they never include me in anything! Every time the cast performs somewhere, I never go! But I love the play…I'm so conflicted!
Aspen: (pats shoulder)
St. James Theatre:
Billie Joe Armstrong: Oh baby, baby, it's fuck time!
John Gallagher jr: What? Who said that?
Billie Joe: Me, dumbass…
John: Oh…
Cast: OMG, Billie Joe is like, super amazing as Jimmy…He's the best Jimmy we've ever had!
Brian Charles Johnson: Sure, even though his voice isn't really Broadway material…
Cast: GASP!
Brain: What? I'm just stating my opinion…
One Week Later:
Billie Joe Armstrong: Oh my God, I'm so fucking amazing and everybody loves me!
Girls of the Cast: SWOON!
Billie Joe: I know girls, I know. Wait…my week is up…Tony's coming back! No!
Lizsername/ iNvIsIbLe GiRl: Thank God…
Michael Mayer: I was reading some blog that rumored Tony would be leaving in a few months for an unknown reason…If this is true, why would he not tell me?
Billie Joe: Does that mean I get to perform more?
Michael Mayer: Maybe…But if Tony's really leaving I'll need to test out the swing members to see who could take him place…
Girls: (point fingers at Billie Joe)
Boys: (point fingers at themselves)
Billie Joe: Me?
Michael Mayer: No, Billie. Somebody from the cast…
Boys: (point fingers at themselves)
Michael Mayer: Chase Peacock, maybe? (goes looking for Chase)
Theo Stockman: Nuh-uh! These are my waffles! Lay off, Esper!
Michael Esper: But…just one waffle, Theo!
Theo: No way! Chase already stole one!
Michael Mayer (interrupting): Where is Chase?
Theo: He stole one of my waffles and ran away!
Michael Mayer: Okay…Which way did he go?
Michael Esper/ Theo: THAT WAY! (pointing in different directions)
Michael Mayer: (sighs)
Chase Peacock: The chocolate chips make the waffle! (savoring a bite)
Theo: GASP! Gimme that back, Peacock!
Chase: Never! (runs away)
Michael Mayer: (grabs Chase by his shirt) How would you like to replace Tony Vincent as St. Jimmy in a few months?
Chase: Oh my God, really? That would be amazing! But…what happened to Tony?
Michael Mayer: Don't worry about that…You're subbing in as Jimmy for a week starting tomorrow.
Chase: But…isn't Tony only taking one week off?
Michael Mayer: Well—
Tony/ Aspen: We're back!
Michael Mayer: Shit…Hey guys! Here's the thing…You need to go leave for another week.
Tony: Why?
Michael Mayer: Because we're testing out other Jimmy's who will take your place once you leave.
Tony: How did you know-? Whoa. Weird!
Aspen: Then can I stay?
Michael Mayer: No!
Aspen: Why?
Michael Mayer: Because that would look too suspicious…
Michael Esper: Whoa, we have the same name!
Cast: …
Albuquerque, New Mexico:
Tony: Hello, my awesomely Italian family!
Family: Anthony, why did you and your wife return?
Tony: Well…My director hates me and sent me away for an extra week.
Family: Oh…
THE END!