Disclaimer: Does not belong to me, blah blah blah, J. K. Rowling pwns, blah blah blah, not that anyone reads the disclaimer.

Summary: Draco Malfoy is completely sure of himself. So much in fact, he believes himself to be the personification of sex. When fellow Slytherin, Theodore Nott, questions his ability to charm all womankind, he's quick to the defence. After all, the World must know of his pure amazingness. Even if he has to charm Hermione Granger to prove it. Hermione on the other hand, has decided to educate her fellow students in the ways of babies. A clichéd story that isn't so cliché full with turns, twists, and Draco's failing splits. And yes, I do mean the ones with your legs.

Chapter Completed: 22 June 2009

Word Count: 961

The Irresistible Charm of Draco Malfoy

Prologue: God's Gift to Women

Deep in the pits of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry several Slytherin students had gathered in the common room, several seated upon the leather couches, others scattered about the carpet. At the moment, they were debating a certain blonde's charming ways.

"Sorry mate, but I have to side with Blaise on this," Miles Bletchley said with an apologetic shrug.

Draco raised an aristocratic eyebrow accompanied by a smirk. He was lounging on one of three black leather chairs, chin resting on his hand, elbow on the cushy arm of the chair.

Blaise scoffed from the chair nearest. "You really think you're that irresistible?" The question came out more as a statement.

"Of course I am! I could nab any girl in Hogwarts as long as I have three things," he retorted.

"Oh? And what might those be Great Seducer of Women?" he questioned in a mocking tone.

"Well, I suppose I could let you all in on one of my secrets," Draco sniffed and paused for dramatic effect as the boys who weren't skeptical leaned in to listen. "These three things are money—something I have plenty of, good looks—something you all don't have plenty of, and charm—something that I'm positively dripping with." The youngest Malfoy's expression was of pure smugness.

Vincent Crabbe held an excited leer. "And how does the whole charm thing work?"

The Slytherin Prince counted on his fingers, "Mysterious, romantic, it goes on from there, but I can't let you know all my cards." All of which Crabbe had none of. Ah, Draco mentally sighed, some people just fell short.

"And it works on all girls?" Aden Vaisey asked, unconvinced.

He rolled his eyes. "Are you deaf, twat? Because I recall saying I could capture any girl in Hogwarts."

"No you couldn't."

Draco eyed the quiet boy that sat across from him, lounged on a black leather chair nearest to the door and reading a book. That was his first comment that evening. In fact, he hadn't even realized the boy had been there, let alone paying attention; slightly sad, considering that they had been friends for nearly seven years.

"What makes you say that Nott?"

"Simple," Theodore's gaze remained towards the book, the only sign of his participation in the conversation was his moving lips, "Not all females are the same."

Draco snorted. "Maybe not, but in the end, my three ways never fail. No girl can resist me"

"Because you've never gone after the hard-to-get girls, the ones at the top of the proverbial apple tree."

"And you know this how?" Really, the audacity of him! Draco's feathers were ruffled at Nott's refusal to acknowledge his greatness.

"Easy, we've known each other for quite some time. Seven years, in fact. And in these seven years I've known you, you've always boasted your conquests. Pansy, Daphne, Parvati, Cho, Lavender, some Beauxbaton girls, and even a few Hufflepuffs. The list goes on, but as you can see, they all have something in common." He paused to see if Draco understood, but was met with a calculated blank look.

Sighing exasperatedly, Theo continued, "Materialistic, vain, and shallow."

"So I prefer girls with fine taste," Draco waved his hand as if disregarding Nott's words, "I could still capture any girl."

"No, you couldn't."

Draco glared. "Yes, I could."

"No."

The ferret was quite agitated by now. "Oh, yes I could! Any girl of any house is weak to my charms! Rich, good-looking, and high in society, not a single female could resist me! I get love letters constantly! Even Gryffindors swoon when I'm shirtless! I am God's damned gift to women! I'm bloody friggin' gorgeous. If sex were a person, I'd be it. Prostitutes pay me to sleep with them! I am—

As Draco began his idiotic tirade, Theodore listened with half an ear. He was fully aware of Malfoy's narcissism, after all, seven years of watching him preen like a peacock when in front of any type of reflective surface taught him that. But the ludicrous height of ego that the spoiled brat was astonishing.

But what was more astounding was the expression on the others' faces, save a few. They were soaking in all his diatribe. Completely. Some even appeared to have pulled out Quick-Quills and parchment to take notes. It made his eye twitch. Well, to be honest, it wasn't that astounding. Draco was the reigning Slytherin Prince after all. And with the title came the followers, came the women, came the increased ego, came the stupidity. Stupidity of which only the likes of Gilderoy Lockhart had previously reached.

God's gift to women? Nott scoffed at the idea, how vain could one person be before they fell in love with themselves? Then again, the pompous idiot probably was. Don't misinterpret though, Draco was Theo's friend; they were acquainted a year before Hogwarts. But when the idiot rambled on about his "greatness", he often felt a strong desire for Hermione Granger to appear, if only to slap him like she had in their third year. Draco would be mortified if he knew that Theo had found out.

Well, a few minutes had passed and he figured that Malfoy must've been nearing the end of his ridiculous rant.

"—a model. Mother's friends even find me highly attractive! I've had countless people offer their daughters to me for marriage! I've even caught the occasional leer from the professors! I am—"

Theodore closed his book, and stood, realizing the raving lunatic would likely go on for quite a bit longer. Fed up with his nonsense, he smoothly cut him off.

"Hermione Granger."

A/N: Oh! And there we have the prologue! I'm quite excited about this story. Although I just started one recently....Eh, well I plan to keep up with both as much as I'm able to. Besides, they're quite different. Well, I plan them to be. Please excuse the short length for now. Next one will be at least twice the length! Reviews are great! c: