Hey guys. Been a while, hasn't it? Yeah. Sorry for the huge hiatus. I've been dealing with some serious depression on top of moving out to attend university an hour from home. It's been a crazy ride, guys. Definitely more downs than ups. I wrote this tonight because I really needed Optimus, and I remembered writing him into my life before. So I figured I would start this anthology of Personal: Optimus continuation stories. This is still Tex, though she's been promoted via Optimus since her high school days. She's in upper level college courses, so I hope y'all can still relate to her. I'm sorry for any editing things. I wrote this on my ipad and uploaded it on the app, so I'm not sure how the quality will pan out, but I'm vastly curious. I'll hopefully have a lot of time to write in the coming month because I'm going on a study abroad to Australia (whoop whoop!), so I may not update GaGS cuz I gotta revamp parts of that, but ive got some new ideas I wanna work through, so not to get your hopes up but o personally hope I can do this. Thanks, guys.
The door opened almost exactly two hours after she had gone through it. He had followed her as far as he was allowed, but Personals were not permitted in the testing rooms as they opened the floor to cheating. And so the great Optimus Prime was relegated to guarding the door, along with two Ironman Personals, a Ratchet, and a Leonardo Ninja Turtle. The conversation had been fairly interesting, as the Leonardo Personal had a backstory nearly as tragic as Optimus did. They had hit it off during the first class their owners had shared. The conversation died as Lizzy trudged through the testing room door, a grim look on her face.
"Let's go, Optimus," she muttered, her voice a mere whisper of its normal jubilant tone. He jumped to attention and trotted over to his human, carefully examining her down-turned face for hints of how the test had gone. Her expression was as blank as her voice was, and he had his answer.
Primus, not again.
"Lieutenant?" he uttered, not completely sure what to say. This was the second test she had flunked, after all, and he knew his words of encouragement wouldn't likely be accepted as easily. Useless platitudes had never worked on Tex, but he was unsure what else he could offer at this point. She saved him from his dilemma by giving him a minute shake of her head.
"Please don't, Optimus," she pleaded, her voice wavering dangerously. "Not here. Not right now." She bent down and lifted the prime into her arms, and without taking a moment to bid farewell to her friend's sentient turtle, she trudged to the stairs.
The walk to her car was a silent one, and Optimus wondered if she could feel his spark speeding up with every step she took. His deep blue optics never left her face, zeroed in on the carefully controlled pain it portrayed. A single tear dropped from her left eye, but before Optimus could reach up to wipe it away, Tex violently raked her sleeve across her eyes to destroy the evidence of her dejection. Sunglasses were shoved onto her face, despite the overcast sky, and Elizabeth sped up to a brisk walk. No one would see her cry.
She made it to her car in five minutes, and Optimus winced as she viciously stabbed her key into the lock and turned it to the left. She wrenched the door open and tossed her backpack carelessly into the passenger seat before dropping into the drivers seat herself. The door was slammed shut, and the key jammed into the ignition. The air conditioner immediately kicked on with the engine, blowing hot air onto the two occupants, but the cheerful Journey song was silenced with a sharp smack.
And silence. Liz made no move to shift the car into reverse or even to buckle in. Her hazel eyes glared at the sunscreen covering the front window as if it were to blame for al her problems. Optimus almost wished it was. That would at least offer him a foe to vanquish, a physical being that he could take down and in doing so, remove all the trouble and pain from his lieutenant's life. Unfortunately, her adversary was one that Optimus could not help with, one that he could not defeat. So he sat in the silence, perched on his owner's lap as he watched her stare ahead, her mind miles away.
"It's not fair," she whispered finally as she pulled her sunglasses off to toss into the passenger seat. Optimus immediately perked up at her voice, mentally preparing himself to do what he did best: defend Tex from herself. He shifted himself around, crossing his legs as he leaned his back against the steering wheel, ever careful of the horn.
"Talk to me," he commanded gently, a simple phrase that had come to mean so much to his human. It told her that he was here, he was listening, and that he would help. He may not be able to kill her enemies, but he could at least make her monsters go away.
"I studied so hard," she whimpered, her eyes still facing foreword even as they filled with liquid. "I understood the homework. You didn't have to help me barely at all," she added. She blinked rapidly against the tears filling her eyelids, and identical tears slid down her nose. "Why can't I do this? Why can't I pass these tests?" She whispered. Optimus hummed lowly in his chest, mimicking the cat purr that so often calmed her down.
"Your other classmates are having similar difficulty, Tex. This is not a problem with you," he assured her, and he was telling the truth. The other Personals in the hallway had said as much. They had complained about the stress this class caused their respective humans, how strained they had become.
"Isn't it?" she snapped. "How can I get into vet school if I can't even pass a physics test? I got a 22, Optimus! 22 out of 100! I took two hours on that test, and I still didn't finish it!"
"And others will have similar grades," Optimus stated firmly. "You will do better on the next test."
"That's what you said for this one," she hissed with a low groan. A frustrated sigh rushed from her lips as she leaned forward against the wheel, placing her head on her hands at the top of the wheel. Optimus expertly shifted to the side and rose to his pedes on the center console beside the gear stick.
"Elizabeth, this class is not an easy one. Many people have to retake it," he reminded her gently as he placed a hand on her shoulder. The shoulder began to shake under his hand as a sob rose from his ward.
"It's not fair," she repeated, and Optimus internally panicked when more tears began dripping from her eyes onto her lap. He was losing control of the conversation as quickly as she lost control of her tight grip on her emotions. "I made a B in Organic Chemistry, and nobody passes O-Chem on their first run! Why can't I make a C in Physics? Why can't I do this?"
The statement pulled a sigh from the prime. He could remember her joy when she announced her success in Organic Chemistry 1, and likewise, he could remember her defeated tone when she told him that she had failed Organic Chemistry 2 the following semester. "Chemistry is a subject you understand easily. Physics is a select study, even for Cybertronians," he reasoned.
"So what! I failed O-Chem 2 and now I'm gonna fail Physics!" Lizzy cried, her body shuddering as another sob ripped from her chest. "I'm so stupid," she whispered, and just like that, the sobs stopped as her brain hitched on that last word. Stupid. Because her dreams, her future career hinged on her being smart enough to make it into veterinary school. Her body went still as her eyes grew distant again, staring at her lap as if it could give her answers.
"You are not stupid," Optimus muttered with conviction, his voice easily carrying over the silence. She ignored it like he expected her to, a useless platitude that her mind easily dismissed. She remained silent for a few minutes, long enough for the air conditioning to cool the car to a comfortable 70 degrees Fahrenheit. When she spoke again, it was in a desolate whisper.
"Optimus... what if I'm not smart enough to do this?" she questioned. He remained silent as she continued, knowing she needed to get these words, these fears, out. "My family has spent so much money to give me this opportunity. Mom can finally brag on me, and Dad is so excited that I'm passionate about my future. What if I can't do this? What if I can't learn anymore?" She turned to look at him, and his sparked ached at the pain and uncertainty her eyes held. He recognized those emotions from the early days of the war when he wondered if he was truly good enough to bring the war to an end, to lead the Autobot, mere scientists and Academy recruits, into battle.
This would not do. He stepped into her lap, taking her face into his small hands as she straightened and stared into his wise optics, and he firmly gave her the exact same advice Ironhide had imparted on him.
"This is simply a battle in the war. Some battles we win, and some we lose. The position you are in is a difficult one, and because of that, it is logical that you will struggle. You cannot give up the war because you lose one battle, though. You must rally yourself and prepare for the next fight. You must keep fighting for what you want, because you are the only one that can make yourself succeed." Optimus gazed deeply into his human's eyes, gaining strength from the hope he saw forming there. "You are smart enough, Lieutenant. If you do not pass this class, then we will try again and again until you do. Do not think you are alone. I will be there for every defeat, and I will cheer for your every success."
A whispered, "Thanks, Optimus," was his prize along with a crushing hug, and as they drove home, Optimus didn't judge his owner a bit for her side trip to La Fiesta Tacoria. He didn't think less of her as she ate six tacos while watching M*A*S*H reruns. He was proud of her when she ended the night reading her physics book.
Because in the end, she would succeed because she didn't have it in her to quit, and that was what Optimus bragged about the following morning to Leonardo.
Well, that's it. Um, thanks for being patient with me, guys. It's been a pretty long couple of years, but I'm hoping to reclaim my hobbies from the depressive funk. I'm hoping my social media detox will help with my focus and attention span. Who knows? Um... if you are the praying type, please pray for me. I am legitimately failing physics, and I have cried more in the past two months than I have the past year altogether. So, um, you know... if you could pray for me, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks guys!