Disclaimer: I own nothing.

My head is cold and lonely. I could never quite understand what was going on around me. I still can't. Everyone's gone and I have no one but myself to rely on. I learn everyday; I learn rules of humility, of resilience, and independence. But still, sometimes it would be nice to have someone do things for me.

Hi. I'm Lilly. I'm twenty-one and a half years old. I'm about five feet five inches, with long blond hair and blue eyes. I live in a small apartment in Los Angeles with my sick mother. As soon as I was done with collage we moved to L.A. hoping there were better doctors.

My best friend Miley also lived there in a house with her mom , dad, and her brother. Miley was exactly what every girl envied, she has beautiful dark brown locks, and a face most women would kill for and not to mention she's rich as hell from her Hannah Montana days, she decided to put away her wig once and for all to be normal again. I remember I used to be Lola, her best friend, her sidekick, just as I am now, I was pretty privileged though, I could go back stage, meet celebrity's, go to big celebrity things, it was good enough for me, but now I'm me and only me again.

It was a rather cold autumn evening to be walking to work but those stupid taxis wouldn't pull over. The street filled with a red/orange/yellow rainbow of leaves that were blowing along with the chilly breeze. I walked along along the rode. My high heels clicking against the concrete. I started to concentrate on the events that happened the past month. What have I done? How could I have been so stupid? Could I not do anything else with my life?All these questions floating around in my idiotic mind. I am upset with what I have become, who I am. How desperate I can be?

Flashback

I was desperate for money. My mother recently been diagnosed with lung cancer. I hadn't known her smoking would get so bad. She was no longer working so I needed to look for a job, some cash for her and for me.

Because of this, I had to go to Miley for help, she is still practically the same as when we were merely sixteen years of age. Fresh out of collage Miley got a job at a club called 'Friskies'. She worked as the bartender, it payed well but the exotic dancers payed even better. Its a matter of who's more desperate, and Miley had some big bucks saved by her 'daddy' and from being Hannah. When I first asked Miley she told me I could work as a waitress but it didn't get as much money as the strippers did. I was desperate on cash since my mom had a gambling problem and we spent a lot of our savings on collage. So I took the waitress job. I met my boss, his name was Eric Collins. He was a tall Caucasian man with thinning brown hair and beady dark brown eyes.

I started on a terrible day, that day I was informed by the doctor that my moms cancer spread some more. I got drunk and flirted with the first guy I saw at the club and before I knew it I had asked Eric to be one of the exotic dancers and asked me what I could do. I felt an adrenaline rush and ran over to the pole. Once the music started I began with a strip tease, and eventually some clothes came off and I was upside-down on the pole with my hair hanging down and tiny beads of sweat dripped down my already pink face. Eric clapped and told me I got the job.

I looked at him happily as my common sense returned. That smile turned into a frown and I grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom in shame. I stared at my sweaty, dirty, depressed face. The horror! How will I live with myself knowing I have done such a horrible deed? I quickly dressed myself and left the restroom. Eric was waiting for me outside and told me to go home and let it sink in. If my mother knew what I was doing to help us she would be so disgusted by me. I couldn't let her find out. I couldn't let anyone find out. I need to think of a stage name.

I headed over to Miley's house, I was greeted by her father and went up the carpeted staircase to her room. Before I knocked I started crying. I rushed into the bathroom and soon the crying turned into only whimpering. I wiped the tears away and splashed some cold water on my face and I reapplied my makeup. I left the bathroom and went to Miley's room, I heard a slight noise inside so I knocked on Miley's door. No answer. I knocked again, but this time louder. Still no answer. I opened the door to find Miley, my best friend, with some blond man-whore in bed. They hadn't noticed that I was there yet so they were still under the blanket. How can she have sex with her parents here? I cleared my throat and finally...

"OH! Lilly! Wh-what are you doing here?" Miley said nervously.

"Oh nothing, just thought I'd pay my best friend a visit... yeah but I think I'll leave" I replied gracefully.

Miley was rubbing her neck "You can come back, I'm done here" she said looking down and pulling the covers up.

I didn't really want to come back but I couldn't tell Miley that. "Uhh..."

"Really!"

"Alright then"

I left the room, red as a tomato and saw the blond, muscular, boy, formally in Miley's bed walk out. He looked at me and winked then left. After a reasonable amount of time I went back into my best friend's bedroom to find her sitting on the floor. When I entered she still didn't look up so I spoke up.

"Miley! That's the third guy this week! What has gotten into you?" I questioned restlessly.

She shrugged and stared at her feet as if they were the most interesting thing in the world "Because, they're nice, I like them" she shot back.

"Miley, what's wrong? You can't just expect all your problems to go away with more and more sex!" I almost shouted. Miley was kind of a border-line slut, she had sex quite a few times in the past couple months, lately she's been trying to cover everything up with more and more sex, she won't let me in! Every time I talk to her I get a new excuse! I don't know what's been going on! When she got me the job I had thought that things have changed and that maybe she wanted to finally let me know, like maybe some sort of truce, but no! Things cant work out for me.

"Lilly, maybe if you didn't spend all your time beingjealousof me you couldactually get a guy to have sex with you! I know you think I'm better than you or whatever but leave me alone! You might think you're my best friend but you're wrong! I don't need you, so get it through your skull! I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE! So get out of my life!" She shouted at me.

I stood there in anger and disbelief. I didn't know whether to feel upset or mad, but I felt shocked mostly. My best friend since forever is telling me that she doesn't want me anymore, that she thinks I'm jealous of her. Maybe I am, I mean she has everything I don't... a healthy mom and a dad, a brother, money, looks, and what I thought was personality until today. What hurt the most was the last sentence. "Get out of my life!" how can she say that? I've always been there for her haven't I? And she's betraying me when I need some help.

"You know, I always thought you were an amazing person, I loved you like a sister. But now I know that I was wrong!" I said as I started tearing up, and ran out of the house.

"Slut" I mumbled under my breath.

All of a sudden I felt a drop of water on my nose. And another. And another. And pretty soon it was raining so hard. My clothes got soaked as I headed home. I walked out into the open and started screaming.

"WHY? Why does everything I do have to end badly? Why can't one thing turn out well? Does the world hate me?" I yelled to no one in particular.

"I'm no better than Miley! I'm a fucking slut and I am jealous! Jealous of all the girls who don't have dying mothers! Jealous of all the girls who have money to live! Jealous of all the girls who have it better than me!" I screamed out loud.

I was so tired I decided to just sit down on the sidewalk. What the hell is wrong with me? What did I do to deserve this? I should stop wallowing in self pity and try to get home. Maybe after I rest my eyelids...

When I woke up finally I was still in that same place crusty clothes, mud everywhere, and my brand new black Chanel bagin ruins. Miley had gotten it for me as a gift when my mother had gotten diagnosed. Good riddance! I don't need it as a reminder of how rich Miley is. I don't remember or care whats in the bag, I took out my old cell phone and wallet, placed them in my pocket and flung the purse as hard as I could. I hope some hobo finds it and gets rich or something. I walked the rest of the way home and I was tired so I snuggled into my tiny bed in my tiny room in the tiny apartment and cried myself to sleep. I didn't care whether I was cold or if I was dirty because all I wanted was to die.

End Flashback

So here I am. Heading to the stupid club where drunk 'men' try to score with sluts. Oh and did I mention that I'm one of them? When I finally arrived I saw Miley flirting with a new guy. She looked up and saw me and glared. Boy, if looks could kill I'd be long gone. I went behind the stage and got all dolled up for the show. I told the announcer my new stage name. As soon as I heard the announcer I got scared. What if I trip? What if they laugh at me?

"Please welcome our new dancer... The Tiger Lily!" the announcer said loudly.

I got up on stage to see a few other girls too. They snorted at the sight of me and I sighed. I started dancing to the music and before I knew it my bra and panties were stuffed with money. The animals we call men seemed to like me. At least this job will help me save my mother... I hope. I went backstage to find Eric waiting for me.

"Great job Lilly! They really seem to be liking you!" He said.

I looked nervous "Thanks..."

"No need to be nervous. Let out. Listen, I know its early for your job but there's a guy who really wants to see you" He told me.

"What? I'm not sleeping with him if thats what you mean" I shot at him.

"No sleeping around. But I do suggest you get some birth control. He says he's willing to pay per hour."

"I'll check it out. Where is he?" I asked. He motioned that he was waiting outside the door. I saw him and he seemed pretty familiar. He had longish black hair and chocolate brown eyes

"Hello" I said.

"Hey, so I'm willing to pay for a couple of hours to get to know you" he told me.

"Thanks, but how much? I won't do less than sixty dollars per hour" I said.

"I'll give a hundred" he smirked at me. Should I take it? What if he tries hurting me? I need the money so much. Nah, my life is not worth it...

"Umm... uhh..." I thought.

"I'm not going to do anything to you. I promise" and he flashed the most sincere smile I have ever seen.

"Alright, you have yourself a deal" UGH! I am an idiot! Why would I take it? I could definitely use the money but... UGH! No use crying over spilled milk. Whats done is done. I got dressed into some comfortable clothes and followed the mystery man outside. He seemed to be rather drunk. He walked with a limp and we got to his black Mercedes I knew he must be rich.

"Uh, do you want me to drive? You look slightly drunk" I said carefully.

"Oh no, I'm not drunk what would make you think that?" he asked me.

"Well your face is red and you're limping." I told him.

"Well I can drive and I'm just cold and I stubbed my toe" he muttered.

"Right" I said as we went into the Mercedes. It was pretty clean and smelled of leather. We pulled up at a HUGE house, not even a hours a mansion! It was a cream color, with a hint of orange. The house is something I'd never have. He opened the car door for me and bounced inside. It seemed empty, lonely.

"Welcome to my humble abode" he mumbled.

"Thanks... the timer started as soon as you said 'I'll give a hundred' you know, that's already an hour" I said.

"Yeah... well come with me" he ordered. I follow him obediently up the stairs and toward a room with a king size bed with royal blue covers, a giant mahogany table, and fresh painted walls. I sat down on the chair and he sat down on his bed.

"Lilly correct?" he asked me.

"Yeah... not to be rude or anything but why did you want me here? I'm new why didn't you get one of the other girls? Obviously they're prettier than me" I told him

"I think you're beautifuland you just look really familiar and you seem pretty cool" he says

I blushed a deep red "Thanks... so exactly who are you?" I asked

"I'm... Joe, Joe Jonas..."

Yep, that's it! New story, first in like... FOREVER. I'm back. Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. Hope you enjoy and give me some lovely reviews, please.