Summer of 1970
Severus was sitting on the window ledge, he was waiting, but he didn't know exactly what for. The skies were black and it was raining hard, every single drop echoed loudly through his mind. He was at peace; his mother was in the kitchen preparing their dinner. His father was not here. His father who had constantly beat him and his mother for defending him. Blaming the poor woman for giving him such a wretched child. Blaming the child because of having not brought pride to the Snape name.
Severus was Tobias Snape's son. Tobias hated children, he hated commitment.
He hated everything.
The front door was slammed open and the walls seemed to shake violently.
'Severus!' Eileen gasped, her brown eyes seemed to widen with fear. 'Hide! Now!' Tobias didn't seem to hear any of it.
'I have had enough of you! You worthless freak!' Yelled Tobias as he stumbled across the living room. Severus scrambled to his feet, as his father didn't notice him, and hid in a corner. He had already started crying.
Eileen was placing the macaroni on the plates when Tobias grabbed her hair and pulled her back, her screams seemed to echo Severus's, but Tobias didn't care. He was drunk, and when he wasn't, he never cared either.
'Tobias – please! You're drunk! You're not in the right mind!' Screamed Eileen as he threw her against the wall, the collision made a sound all too familiar to Severus.
'Don't tell me I'm not in the right mind!' Yelled Tobias. Severus hoped in vain that someone could hear this. That someone would put an end to it, but the rain was taunting him – no one would be able to hear any of this, no one but them.
'STOP IT!' Yelled Severus. Blood streaked down his mother's scarred face. He couldn't believe she let his father do this to her, his stupid muggle father. Tobias turned around; his face was filled with hatred.
'How dare you –' He stomped on Eileen's knee.
'STOP IT – You're hurting her! You always –' Severus couldn't finish his sentence; his father slapped him hard and threw him down on the couch, his sore face was shoved into the material. Tobias started unbuckling his belt and lifted Severus's shirt up.
'YOU WILL LEARN TO RESPECT!' Yelled Tobias, his words were slurred but made all the sense to Severus. 'Don't think I've forgotten what you've done to my medicine!' Yes, his father was a doctor. But no longer, he had been fired because he was always drunk. Severus had accidentally fallen into his medicine cabinet and caused no more than ten bottles to shatter.
Tobias tied the leather belt around his hand and struck the buckled end across Severus's back, the sound of it making contact with Severus's skin was all-too familiar… all-too painful… Severus yelled and screamed, 'Father! Please stop!' His scars and bruises from the last beating hadn't healed yet, but Tobias was showing no sign of mercy.
At first, the belt struck at random places on Severus's reddening back, then it just seemed to strike on one spot, over and over again. No, Tobias never stopped, even when Severus started bleeding, he only stopped when Severus had fainted or when his hand grew tired – Severus already started bleeding and would scream every time the belt struck his back. His face was covered with tears and he could no longer form any words but continued shrieking with pain, then Tobias struck his thighs.
'STOP!' Yelled Eileen but Tobias didn't stop. She wrung his neck and held tight until he let his hand fell to his side. Severus whimpered on the couch and could not get up. Tobias started hitting Eileen again, it was the only thing that gave Severus the strength, he stood up and forced his sore legs towards his mother's wand and pointed it towards his father's back.
'St – St – STUPEFY!' He stammered and his father immediately froze and fell towards the floor. This wasn't enough, 'stupefy' wasn't the only spell he should know. It wasn't enough for such a horrible man as Tobias Snape. He needed to learn the Dark Arts. He needed to avenge himself and his mother.
'Severus…' His mother winced, 'go to your friend's house, never come back. I'm begging you. Please Sev.'
'Mum, you can't let him do this to you.' Said Severus.
'Give me back my wand.' Said Eileen.
'You have to defend yourself.' Answered Severus.
'Just…Severus come here.'
Severus walked slowly towards his mother and she pulled him gently in an embrace, careful not to touch his back.
'Severus, I love you. I love your father too –'
'How can you?'
'I don't understand it either, but I can't… I can't leave him.'
'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!' Yelled Severus and ran towards the door. 'Defend yourself, okay? For me.' He threw the wand towards his mother but she didn't catch it. 'I thought you would at least do my one request.' And he limped outside, his nose was bleeding and his back ached, and so did his legs. The material of his shirt and his shorts were sticking to his fresh wounds. He was leaving a trail but the rain quickly washed it away, he was thinking if he should just jump into the river and drown himself. No, he would live – for his mother. It was like having several heavy objects slammed on him at once, but he was determined to reach the Evans' place, he wasn't going to stop. His tears were still falling freely down his face and blood had stained his faded blue shirt. If anyone were to be walking right behind him, they would immediately believe that his shirt had originally been dyed red. That was how much it hurt, too.
He walked slowly towards Lily's house and rang the doorbell, he hoped in vain that Lily would be the one to answer – and she did. Seeing her face was like having all the pain removed from him.
'Sev! What happened –' She made a move to run back inside.
'Shh!' Severus hissed and grabbed her hand, the blood running down his palms didn't go unnoticed.
'Lily, who is it?' Said Mr. Evans, Severus loathed muggles but the Evans family – except of course, Petunia – had to be the greatest exception yet. He hated their way of brutality and violence… and they reminded him of his drunkard father.
'Just Severus!' She yelled back.
'Sev, what happened to you?' She whispered. 'You're hurt… badly.'
'Can I stay? Overnight?' He whispered back.
'Yeah, okay, certainly, come in!'
He stared at her, 'I'm dripping.'
'Wait.' She said and ran upstairs and came back with a black towel that she wrapped around his shaking figure.
'Watch the back.' He whispered, but she didn't need to. She was very gentle in hanging the towel around his skinny shoulders and brought him inside.
'He's just going to stay over, is that all right dad?' Said Lily.
'Of course.' Said Mr. Evans.
'Thanks Mr. Evans.' Said Severus.
Severus stepped into the tub slowly and turned on the shower. He winced and whimpered from the pressure on his wounds and new scars. The bath quickly filled with the reddish brown liquid and he frowned at it, he was going to have to clean it up afterwards. He drew the curtains and looked at the floor – more stains. He couldn't lean forward to shampoo because his back hurt in the process, so he settled with just the water – this was why his hair was always greasy, he could never wash his hair properly because of the fresh wounds.
He also had a hard time drying himself afterwards; he was lucky that Lily had chosen a black towel for the bloodstains were unseen. He wore his clothes again and walked outside, Lily was waiting.
'You're going to sleep in my room.' Said Lily and she held his hand and brought him to it. Her room was painted lavender and had a queen sized bed in the middle.
Severus looked around for a mat on the floor but couldn't find any, 'Where do I sleep?'
'In the bed! Where else?' Said Lily.
'Where are you going to sleep?'
'In the bed too.' Said Lily. 'Why?'
'Nothing…' Severus smiled.
It was in the middle of the night when Severus woke up crying, he was sleeping on his stomach but that didn't matter to him. He was worried about his mother, he could have sworn that he heard his mother scream, but it could have been a dream.
'Sev, what's wrong?' Said Lily drowsily and rolled over beside him. She was leaning on her elbow and was watching him carefully.
'I'm sorry… for waking you. Don't touch me please.' He whispered and turned his head towards her.
'Is it your back?' She asked.
'No.'
'Sev, let me check.' Said Lily as she sat up and lifted his shirt before he could protest. He heard her gasp; she turned on a desk lamp and whispered, 'Stay here.'
'Like I have a choice.' Muttered Severus. He saw her coming back with a first aid kit and his eyes widened. 'Are you sure you know how to do this?'
She brought out a bandage and unrolled it. 'Of course I know.'
'I doubt it.'
'Well you're the one with a father for a doctor, you do it.'
Severus didn't answer; he hated his father so much.
'Sev, did I say something wrong? Sev, talk to me.' Said Lily, she put her hand on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. 'Sev, was it your father?'
He nodded slowly, 'Please don't tell. The beatings don't seem to stop.'
'But – but we have to! Severus, this is unjust! He should be in jail!'
'My mother won't allow them to take him away.'
'How could you –'
'I don't want to talk about it anymore.' He whispered.
She sat upright again and lifted his stomach, 'What are you –' But he already knew, she rolled the bandage under it. He felt a sting on his back; she was patting medicine with cotton onto the wounds and put band-aids on the small ones. She placed a cotton clothe across his entire back and then rolled the bandage all over it.
'Sit up.' She commanded, he stood up. 'Why?' Said Lily but Severus made no intention of answering. She rolled the bandage over his wounds faster and was careful not to make it too tight or too loose.
'There, it's better isn't it?' She said.
He hesitated for a moment, 'I have more.'
'Severus…' Said Lily sadly. 'Okay… where?'
He brought his larger shorts down; revealing faded gray shorts and a series of bloody scars. 'That's why I couldn't sit.' He whispered.
Lily brought out two more cotton sheets and bandages and did the same to his legs.
'Does it hurt as much?' Said Lily.
'No. Thanks.' Said Severus.
'I like it when you smile.' She said. 'You should do it more often.'
Summer of 1975
Severus arrived home from his last term at Hogwarts, he sensed something wrong when he entered his house. His mother wasn't there to greet him; she wasn't there to see him as he arrived walking on the front lawn. Something was surely wrong.
He opened the front door and looked around, it wasn't as clean as it was. It was always messy but never this messy.
'Mum?' Severus called.
'She's not here.' He heard a gruff voice from behind the couch.
'Where is she?' Growled Severus.
'She's not coming back you ungrateful –'
'WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER? WHERE IS SHE?' Severus had his wand pointed threateningly at his father's back.
Tobias turned around and eyed it carefully. 'You don't want to do anything unnecessary.'
'You've gone too far!' Yelled Severus. His wand was shaking in his fingers; he had no more friends to run off to. No more Lily. Tobias could not take his mother away from him. His father stood up from the couch and walked towards him. 'STAY WHERE YOU ARE!' But Tobias didn't listen. 'I TOLD YOU! DON'T MOVE! I CAN HURT YOU!'
'You can't do anything to hurt me Severus. You never did have the gut.' Said Tobias.
'Oh really? You tell me where my mother is and I might leave you alive.' Hissed Severus.
'She's dead.'
These words rang through Severus's ears. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. He couldn't believe it. He refused to believe it.
'NO!' He yelled. 'YOU'RE LYING. YOU ALWAYS LIE!'
'DO YOU SEE HER? NO!' Yelled Tobias, he staggered towards Severus but Severus was too quick for him.
He waved his wand around maniacally and yelled 'SECTUMSEMPRA! SECTUMSEMPRA!' His father fell in a bloody mess on the floor. 'You pick up the phone if you can because I'm not going to be here to help you. I'm never coming back. You're a bloody murderer and I'm ashamed to have you as a father. I hope you rot in hell.'
Autumn of 1975
'Lily –'
'Shut up, Severus. I thought we talked this over.' Said Lily, she was glaring at him.
'He killed her.' He whispered.
'What?' Her expression changed but he refused to look at her.
'He killed her. My mother – she's dead. I need you. Now. Of all the times I've upset you… please, forgive me.' Said Severus, his lips were trembling and he couldn't bear having her look at him with such dislike. 'If you don't care – fine! If all those years we were together were such a waste – if I was – a disgrace to you as I was my father!' He couldn't form any more coherent words. 'I thought all muggles and muggleborns were evil, then you changed my way of thinking – I guess I shouldn't have trusted you. It was my mistake then, you're all the same.'
No, he didn't really hate her. He could never hate her. He loved her with all he had, but he couldn't accept that they really were no longer friends. He was just upset. Nothing worse.
Then she died too… And she was only 21… and all seem to vanish before Severus's own eyes… she was gone.