My name is Daisuke. D'ai-skuh-ay. I think my owner's name is T'ohma. That's what S'kano called him, at least. I used to live in a cold, loud place, with lots of other dogs like me, but, one day, S'kano came and got me and took me away. I lived at his den for a while, but then, one day, he put me in a box with little holes in the sides. And then, suddenly, the box was opened, and I met T'ohma. That was a long time ago, though. I'm grown up now.
T'ohma and S'kano just went to their sleeping den again, just like they did when I first came to live here. They sound really strange, and I can't help but think that T'ohma feels sick. He feels sick a lot when S'kano is here; he makes lots of strange noises.
Whether he's sick or not, though, I'm really hungry. S'kano came last night and, now, the sun has been up for a long, long time. I've missed out on two meals already, and I'm getting ready to be hungry for the third. So I trot to the entrance of their sleeping den and find that it's just open enough for me to get inside. People are weird. They don't sleep on the floor, but on these high, soft platforms. I can't see why they would want to, though. But, normally, when T'ohma sleeps on it, I can't see him from where I am now. But, now, I can see them both, moving weirdly. A sit down and stare for a minute, listening to them, wondering why I can hear T'ohma, but not S'kano.
Oh. Now I understand. They're mating. But why would they want to? They're both male, it wouldn't make any puppies. And T'ohma always says I'm his only puppy anyway. I remember something my mother had told me once, that some males only like other males, and they only mate with other males. Brute seekers, they're called. My father was a brute seeker, she had said. And now my owners were too. I know it's bad to interrupt mating, but they already have a puppy to take care of, and they aren't doing that well either. I'm still hungry. So I bark, and wait for them to notice me. T'ohma looks over the side of the bed and smiles at me, saying something in that weird human talk before getting off of their platform, pulling on a cloth thing over his legs and walks into the other room to prepare my food. I look up at S'kano, who is pulling his shiny metal things onto his face and looking down at me. He pulls me up onto the bed and laughs as I wriggle.
He says something in his funny language. "W'ktta Daisuke-koon. T'mae kan ganroo kare kyoo." And I just wag my tail.
For those of you about to bash me for using Japanese, listen. This story is assuming that Tohma (T'ohma) and Sakano (S'kano) can only speak Japanese, but Daisuke, who is, indeed, a dog, can only understand English, which is why he calls what they are speaking 'funny language'. Yes, the only few words Sakano says is Japanese, probably horrible because, yes, I got it off of a translator. Kill me, yes, I'm horrible for trying to be creative. What Sakano said is Daisuke's interpretation of 'Wakatta, Daisuke-kun. Temae kan ganrou kare kyoo.', which literally means, 'Alright, Daisuke-kun, you can play with him today.'
The reason parts of names have been abbreviated is because, of dogs could somehow speak fluent English, (this is logical from the few dogs out there who can say 'I love you' and 'Mama' and whatnot.) they would have trouble with vowels, especially, the first vowels in a word, because of their long tongues. Sakano is S'kano because that's how Daisuke would say his name if he were speaking English to you face to face. T'ohma's name isn't T'hma, because it would be harder to recognize, and, also, because I wanted to get it across that his name would be pronounced with a hard 't', like you would say time, instead of how it is supposed to be pronounced, with is softer, like with 'thimble'.
So, you see? Dialect. Not rabid fangirlism.
References –
The things Tohma pulled on - Pants.
Metal things for Sakano – Glasses.
Brute seeker – male homosexual
The cold loud place – Daisuke's old home. Probably a dog breeder or a pet shop.
Time Sakano was there – He arrived after a date the previous evening, spent the night. This story takes place at around noon. They're at it again.
Sleeping den – bedroom
Sleeping platform – bed
Daisuke's name means 'of great help' and is spelled in kanji as 大輔.