Ah... This happened. Came to me when I was just looking around pictures of Tsuna... Welp.
Being an older brother is tough.
It's being the one to concede, letting your little brother have that toy, or watching that TV show that he wanted to watch.
It's being looked up to by those doe-like eyes of childhood innocence, receiving that bright smile, realising that everything you've sacrificed was worth it.
It's realising after your parents die in a car accident that you have to take care of him now, to shield him from the memory of being there in that car seconds before that fucking drunk driver crushed your mom and dad.
It's realising that he needs to be protected from the lecherous eyes of your relatives wanting to separate you and him.
It's putting up a strong front even when you're screaming inside because that aunt is nice and would take care of Tsuna if you don't piss her off.
It's doing everything you can to protect him.
It's realising that he's grown up, that he likes someone, that he has a girlfriend called Kyoko and that you shouldn't be acting so harshly towards her because she's a good person and kind and nice and pretty and a girl.
It's letting go of your protectiveness, before realising that what you feel is not parental attachment but something more, and crying for the first time in ten years because fuck he's your brother but you can't fucking help it.
It's hiding those tears when he comes home and smiles so brightly because Kyoko-chan said I was cool today.
It's forcing a smile when you are dying inside and you're choking and sick and ohgodicantbreathe.
It's hiding the truth from him because he's so happy that Kyoko said yes.
It's finding him in the middle of the pouring rain, tears mixing with the shower, eyes red from crying because he found pictures of K-ky-kyoko wi-with Ta-takes-hi.
It's hugging him and you can't say a word, you can only hug him because your voice isn't working because you're just so fucking angry and thatbitchcheatedontsuna-
It's hugging him tightly because you know even with Kyoko out of his life he would never love you.
It's hiding it even when he moves on, when he meets a colleague named Yuni, when they start dating, when they get married, when they have the most perfect children.
It's hiding it even when you stay up at nights wondering about the what-ifs.
What if you had confessed?
What if he wasn't disgusted?
What if he wouldn't send you to a church to get it beaten out of you?
What if he would talk to you and let you down easy?
What if, just what if...he said yes?
Yep, Natsu's pretty mature. Whatever. Sad things coming out everyday.
Anyway, review if you want to.