A/N: I've been wanting to write a story like this for a while now, and it took me... man, I don't know. Almost a year? before I finally admitted it to a friend, who encouraged me to do it. I spent a lot of time debating before I finally started writing, and I have edited this so many times that I've lost count. It's been sitting on my desktop for a couple of months or so, while I debated whether or not to share it. I wanted to, but I was hesitant. This is a pretty touchy subject for some people, and a very new one for me. I still want to write a second part, a more graphic scene, but I don't feel I'm there yet as a writer. However, I figure this is a good first step. Maybe with time (or some help?), I'll get there.
Warning to my usual readers, this is very very unlike anything else I have ever written. This stories deals with the BDSM community, and while it's very very tame, it's likely to be unappealing to some readers. It's my first one and therefore a big step for me. I would absolutely love constructive criticism, but please be gentle! If this kind of story isn't your thing though, please turn away now. Please let me know what you think at the end. I would love the feedback.
A huge, super big thank you to my beta/sounding board/support system, Kane-no. Y'all should know that if she hadn't listened to me and encouraged me, this story probably would not have been written.
Anyway, onto the story!
Catherine had never meant to get involved with Sara. She had never even meant to become her friend, but life had a funny way of having you find something you never knew you needed in someone you never thought you could like, let alone love. Their relationship had started unintentionally and from the most unexpected of sources: Lindsey. Truthfully, Catherine never had any intention of ever introducing Lindsey to Sara. In fact, she had done her damndest to keep her daughter away from the woman who had quickly become an irritating thorn in her side. She had been successful, at first, in keeping Lindsey from the brunette. However, as is inevitable with time, they began having brief contact with one another: a quick hello when she and Lindsey were leaving the building, an exchange of sentences as Lindsey saw Sara getting a coffee in the break room, then a short conversation when Lindsey caught Sara in the hallway one Thursday afternoon. These little encounters were enough to enamor the young girl with the older CSI, and soon, when she wound up at her mother's work, she began to seek out the woman. She would eventually find Sara wandering down a hall, holed out in someone's office, in the bathroom, or coming out of the elevator, and the girl would then spend the rest of her time happily chatting away with the brunette. Catherine tried to quietly stop the growing connection by keeping Lindsey close by, but to no avail. The girl was smitten, and she refused to be kept from Sara.
The solidification of their little friendship took place a couple of months after their first introduction, when Lindsey followed Sara back to the woman's hideout: the lab room. No one ever entered there; it was Sara's lair. But, she had invited the younger Willows to accompany her, and the girl had gleefully accepted. They had spent the better part of an hour giggling and trading secrets, Sara then officially stealing Lindsey's affection for good.
This turn of events happened despite Catherine's wishes. While she didn't outright forbid her daughter's spending time with her colleague, she certainly did not encourage it. She had no idea what her daughter saw in Sara, and when she had asked, Lindsey had simply answered that the brunette was "fun". How in the world Sara Sidle was fun, Catherine would never know. At least, that was how she had felt at the time.
Back then, Sara had been the bane of her existence. Catherine felt that she was an irritating, argumentative, and frustratingly brilliant annoyance in her life. Catherine had busted her ass off to gain her colleagues' respect, working diligently to prove herself. Sara had done the same within the first 72 hours. It had irked the older woman, and rather than finding an ally in their male-dominated field, she had almost immediately found a threat, an enemy. She had disliked Sara right from the beginning, but Lindsey had had the very opposite reaction. It was maddening. She wanted Lindsey to hate Sara too, but she couldn't say that. So, Catherine tolerated the relationship. Barely. She bit her lip and told herself not to interfere, but it was difficult. She didn't want to ruin what seemed like a great source of joy to Lindsey, as much as it irked her. Her rational side reluctantly admitted that there really wasn't any harm in Lindsey spending a bit of time talking with Sara when the girl was visiting. However, her resolve not to break their frustratingly close relationship was greatly tested one day when Lindsey had skipped over to her and announced that she wanted Sara to babysit her.
Catherine had been so thrown off guard that she had made Lindsey repeat the request. Surely she had heard wrong.
She hadn't.
Lindsey insisted that she wanted Sara to watch her the following weekend when Catherine was out of town. The older Willows woman frowned. She responded that Grandma was due to stay with her and besides, Sara did not babysit. But, being the clever little girl that she was, Lindsey pointed out that they had not yet asked Grandma and that she had just asked Sara. Evidently, the brunette did not mind babysitting as she told the girl that as long as her mother was okay with it, she would be happy to watch her.
Catherine had cursed the woman all the way to the car. What was she playing at? She had to be doing this to fuck with her somehow. Why the hell else would she agree to watch Lindsey? Talking at work for a few minutes was one thing, but agreeing to babysit for an entire weekend? That was quite another. She couldn't understand why Sara would want to do this. She wasn't trying to be nice to her, to help her out by offering to watch Lindsey. They still hated each other. They still argued, butted heads, and continually held opposing views regarding everything at work, just as they always had. So, why do this? Why did she suddenly like Lindsey so much anyway? By the time she had entered the vehicle, Catherine was irate. She spent the entire ride home seething in silence.
It was only when she calmed down that Catherine had reluctantly admitted to herself that it really wasn't sudden. Their friendship had been slowly building over the last few months, much to Catherine's chagrin. She really did do her best to keep Lindsey home and away from work, but as a single mother, it was nearly impossible to keep her away for more than a couple of weeks at a time. She was always short a sitter and then needed to drag Lindsey to work. The girl never complained though, because she could then seek Sara out. Of course, the girl visited her favourite "uncles" first, but she did so almost out of obligation. She smiled and answered their questions, being the polite little girl that Catherine expected her to be, but when the opportunity presented itself, the girl quickly ended the conversation and moved on. After she did her rounds, she eagerly looked for Sara, squealing her name when she found her. One time, Catherine could have sworn she had even seen the brunette grin as she spotted Lindsey come flying at her, but she was sure that she was mistaken. Sara didn't smile. But still, there was no mistaking her daughter's adoration for the woman.
So, Catherine had reluctantly agreed to let Sara watch Lindsey that weekend. After all, what excuse could she have given not to let her? "Sorry, Sara, you drive me up the fucking wall, and I don't want to have to see you outside of work, let alone in my own home?" No. There was no choice, but it was exhausting trying to fake it with Lindsey, pretending to think Sara was as great as Lindsey thought she was. The truth was, Catherine found her more irritating than ever. She just wanted her out of her life and away from her daughter. She wished the brunette would go back to San Francisco and just stay there.
But, she didn't go back to San Francisco. Instead, Sara had come over and was most irritatingly excited to be with her daughter. Catherine had left, annoyed and suspicious. Throughout the weekend, she received regular updates from a chipper Sara and an always enthusiastic Lindsey, telling her not to rush home because she was having "a blast". As the weekend went by, Catherine became more and more suspicious of and irritated with Sara. Why couldn't she just leave them alone? And she had still not figured out what the brunette was playing at. She didn't trust her intentions. She couldn't even enjoy the spa she and her friend Claire had gone to because she was too busy stewing about Sara. She wasn't going to let her hurt her little girl. Taking her out to the water park, bringing her to the zoo, making endless crafts with her… why was she doing this? It didn't sit well with the older woman, so she made a decision and took action: she confronted Sara the night she returned home.
It got ugly fast, but that was, admittedly, mostly Catherine's doing. She had accused Sara of using Lindsey as a pawn in some sort of sick, twisted attempt to mess with the older woman. She told Sara that she was disgusted with her, that she needed to stop toying with her daughter's emotions and just leave her alone. She raged on, stating that she would not allow the woman to hurt her daughter, who was nothing but innocent in the game Sara was playing. She had told her that she would no longer tolerate it, and that she regretted not putting a stop to it earlier. She had gotten increasingly irate, bullying Sara until the woman was backed against the kitchen counter.
The brunette, understandably upset, had used every ounce of her self-control not to shout back. She would not do to Lindsey what her own father had done to her; she would not engage in a shouting match for the girl to overhear. She had stayed quiet the entire time Catherine yelled. She had then done the responsible thing and left, but not without making sure to calmly tell Catherine that she was sorely mistaken and that she would accept her apology when the woman was ready to give it.
The strawberry blonde had been so irritated with that response that she had slammed the door behind Sara. She stayed angry the rest of the evening, seething as she paced around the house, looking for any piece of evidence to prove that Sara was up to something. Had she been snooping around the house? Had she gone through her drawers?
Catherine marched around the house, but she found nothing. She huffed in annoyance, dropping down onto the couch. She refused to acknowledge the voice in her head that suggested that maybe Sara really was just interested in being friends with Lindsey. She also refused to admit that the reason she ignored the voice was because if it were right, she would have to admit she was wrong about Sara. She would have to acknowledge that Sara really was just looking to bond with her daughter, and then Catherine would be forced to face that fact that she had been a total and complete bitch to the other woman for no reason. Catherine wasn't a bitch. No. She wasn't. She had been right to attack the brunette because she was definitely up to something.
Catherine went to sleep that night, ignoring the feeling of uneasiness deep in her belly. She forced a smile the next morning when her daughter bounced out of her room and into the kitchen to greet her mother. The girl immediately began telling her about her weekend activities: moving around the living room furniture to build a fort in which to tell scary stories (as well as funny ones), making two minute brownies in the microwave, playing hide and go seek in the dark, playing at the park. Lindsey's eyes lit up as she spoke, animatedly telling her mother about all the fun she had had this weekend. She then gasped, stating that she had a surprise for her. Lindsey had hopped off the chair at that point and raced to her bedroom, returning with two pictures for Catherine.
The first, obviously done by Lindsey, was a drawing of Sara and Catherine on either side of the girl, each holding one of her hands. She had painstakingly spelt out "I love you. You are the best mom in the world." She promptly informed Catherine that Sara had helped her think of what to write. Lindsey then produced a second picture, one that made Catherine pause, stunned. It was a beautifully drawn picture of cherry and peach blossoms, a picture that could have easily been found in a frame at a store. Lindsey rambled on as Catherine stared at the expertly drawn flowers.
"Sara said they're your favourite flowers. Is that true, mom? She said you'd really like this, but she didn't want you to know it was for you. She said I could keep it, but it's for you. Why wouldn't she want you to know if it was for you? Anyway, they're really pretty, aren't they? I wish I could draw like Sara. She said she'll teach me one day."
Catherine vaguely acknowledged her daughter's statement, too busy staring at the drawing in her hands. Sara had put effort into this picture. She had drawn it for her. Why? And how had she known these were her favourite? When had she and Sara ever discussed anything not related to work? When in the hell had they discussed her favourite flowers? Catherine racked her brain, but she could not recall a single conversation that they had had that didn't revolve around work. Hell, she had trouble recalling a single conversation that didn't end up with Catherine yelling at Sara.
She had been so distracted by the picture (which she had had to hide in a drawer because she didn't want to admit how it made her feel), that she hadn't seen the day go by. She couldn't face Sara that Monday night at work, so she avoided the woman with everything she had. Tuesday had unfortunately found them working a case together, but she still could not find it in herself to do anything more than give Sara a slight nod to acknowledge her presence.
She had spent much of Tuesday' shift quiet, lost in her own thoughts and feelings. The picture and its significance bothered her. It made her uncomfortable to consider that maybe, just maybe she was wrong about Sara. She tried to banish the thoughts her conscience was now shoving forward in her mind, but it was getting more and more difficult. They were starting to take over. The thoughts screamed at her that most of the arguments the two had had, most of the fighting… it was Catherine's fault. She had been the one to initiate most of their arguments, she was the one who had had a bad attitude right from the beginning, she was the one who went out of her way to be mean to Sara…
It was becoming painfully obvious as Catherine slowly processed the thoughts in her mind that Sara was not at fault at all. She had done nothing wrong. Catherine was the problem, and the more she thought about it, the worse she felt. It had gotten to the point that she couldn't even look at Sara in the eye anymore. The guilt was slowly eating away at her, and she wasn't sure how she could even begin to rectify the damage that she had done. She was ashamed. She knew she needed to fix things; she needed to make them right. But how? How, after everything she had done?
Sara was not ignorant to her colleague's internal struggle. She knew that her weekend with Lindsey had changed things between them, she just wasn't yet sure how. She was not as unobservant and selfish as Catherine accused her of being. She had hoped that the woman would finally come to her senses after this weekend and realise that she was not the enemy. But when she had returned home angrier than Sara had ever seen her, the brunette's hopes had been dashed. Catherine had said some nasty things, and Sara had left incredibly angry and hurt. That's why it came as a complete surprise when Catherine showed up on Monday morning looking almost…sad. Sara had been expecting a confrontation, an argument, but the woman had done nothing of the sort. In fact, she had avoided her completely. That was extremely unlike Catherine. It was also extremely unlike her to spend the rest of the week so subdued, quietly acknowledging Sara's presence while staying as far away from her as possible. They had had practically no contact all week until Friday, when the strawberry blonde had brought her a coffee. She had said nothing more than "here" as she placed the cup next to Sara. The brunette had been so stunned that she didn't even think to say thank you.
She had been thoroughly confused, and she had thought about the woman's actions all weekend. As she went over the week's events, she kept coming to the same conclusion: Catherine was feeling guilty. Could it be? It couldn't, not Catherine, but it certainly seemed like it though. The following Monday evening, when Sara saw the other woman again, her suspicions were confirmed. It was so obvious now, the way the other woman avoided her gaze, looking away when Sara spoke to her, barely saying two words in response. The guilt was written all over her face. Sara hid her emotions better than anyone she knew, but Catherine, she wore hers on her sleeve.
Sara thought about talking to the other woman, but ultimately she decided not to. She wasn't going to make it easier on her by talking to her and alleviating her burden. Catherine had made her life a living hell for the last eight months, and she deserved to suffer too, at least for a little while. She needed to reflect on how poorly she had treated someone who had not deserved it in the least. Sara had tried to befriend her at first, but Catherine had made it abundantly clear right from the beginning that she was not going to have anything do to with her. She went out of her way to bully and exclude Sara, and it had hurt, no matter how much the brunette tried to pretend it didn't. She had moved away from her home, her friends, her life in San Francisco. It was already hard enough to start over without Catherine attacking her at every turn. The only good thing Catherine had brought to her life was Lindsey.
Lindsey, who always brought a smile to Sara's face, was perfect. She was cute, energetic, loving, playful, bright, and wonderfully innocent. She was someone Sara could sit with and forget about all the horrors she faced every day. She loved hearing Lindsey talk about her adventures at school and the games she played with her friends. She loved hearing about her favourite dolls and the new "cool" toys she saw on tv. She liked spinning her around until they both felt sick. She loved cuddling with her while they read books. And she especially loved the way Lindsey seemed to just love her. She accepted her for who she was. She didn't need to work for the girl to like her; she didn't need to be on guard with the child. She could just be. So when Catherine had accused her of using Lindsey like a pawn, it had hurt. And it had made her immeasurably angry. She loved that little girl like her own and she would be damned if she ever did anything to hurt her. Truth be told, the accusation had even soured her relationship with the child. After that argument with Catherine, she had a hard time talking with Lindsey because she didn't want to do anything to give further ammunition to the girl's mother. She had stayed away until Catherine had finally faced her over two weeks after the initial accusation. Catherine had quietly, almost shyly, invited Sara out for coffee, and Sara had accepted. Catherine had suffered long enough and although the woman had been nothing short of cruel to her, Sara was not looking to keep her as an enemy. All she had wanted was to at least be civil with Catherine, and this was her chance. It was time to settle things between them.
Surprisingly, it had gone well. Catherine had been different with Sara, unnervingly nice. It threw the brunette. She hadn't expected that. She had expected her to be civil, but she hadn't expected her to be so kind. Catherine had even apologised to her for her behaviour, explaining that she had felt threatened by Sara and that that was why she had been on the offensive from the very start.
"I'm ashamed, Sara, and I'm sorry. I know I had my claws out right from the beginning, when you had done nothing wrong. You were so brilliant even from the very first day, and I have always had to work my ass off at this job. I was jealous and I felt threatened by you. I know I don't deserve a second chance, but if it's okay with you, I'd like to try and turn things around between us. Lindsey adores you and… I don't want this animosity between us anymore. I'm sorry I caused it in the first place. It's all my fault, I know that. And I'm deeply sorry. I'm so sorry, Sara."
Sara had been so shocked by the sincere apology that she could do nothing but nod weakly. They had then moved onto a safer subject: Lindsey. They traded cautious smiles and small anecdotes, until Catherine had broached the subject that had been weighing heavily on her mind: the drawing. When she brought it up, she was surprised to see the other woman give what looked to be a shy smile. Sara had slowly licked her lips before answering, almost as if she were trying to work up the nerve to say something embarrassing. She had finally confessed that she had spotted Catherine stroking the petals of a bouquet of blossoms at a crime scene one time, telling the shop keeper in passing that they were her favourite type of flower. When Catherine couldn't remember that specific moment, she was stunned to learn it had occurred over seven months prior. Sara didn't admit that she remembered nearly everything she learnt about her colleagues. She stored those pieces of information for use at a later date, and that was just one of the things she had learnt about Catherine Willows.
After that afternoon, things began to change ever-so-slightly for the two women. There were no more coffee dates, but the arguments between the two had dropped dramatically, and it even happened that the two could work an entire case together without one leaving in anger in the middle of it. They remained in this not-friends-but-not-enemies limbo for the next several months, until Catherine was once again in need of a sitter. She had already planned on asking her mother, but Lindsey had begged and pleaded so long for Sara that Catherine had finally given in and asked.
The brunette readily accepted, putting on a neutral expression so as to hide her excitement. She managed to focus at work even after Catherine had asked her, but in the back of her mind, she had excitedly begun planning everything she'd be doing with Lindsey that weekend. And they had done everything on that list too, including going to the local children's science museum, which Lindsey had loved. When Catherine had returned home later that Sunday night, she was astounded to hear that Lindsey had actually agreed to go to (and then enjoyed visiting) the museum. Lindsey was a wonderful child, but it was like prying teeth to get her to do anything academic. The girl was what her own mother lovingly called a "free spirit", much like Catherine herself. And that was far from the last time Sara engaged Lindsey in her academic career. Catherine had walked in on the two not three days later going over Lindsey's math homework.
"Sara said if I want to stay and play in the lab, I have to do my homework first. She's helping me."
The girl had said it with such acceptance that Catherine had been rendered speechless. She had been fighting with Lindsey for two days to do that damn homework and here she was, happily doing it with Sara. The brunette had smiled warmly at her before turning back to Lindsey and pointing to the next problem. It was the first time Sara had ever smiled at her, and the image of Lindsey curled into the woman while working on math problems had struck a chord in her.
That was the turning point for Catherine. In that moment, Catherine felt the stirrings of curiosity. Sara intrigued her. While they were no longer enemies at work, they weren't friends either. The strawberry blonde decided then and there to change that. Everybody else at work liked the brunette, and Lindsey had to be infatuated for a reason. Catherine was the only one who wasn't her friend, and she was determined to change that. Sara was notoriously private though. She was always eager to help and give her opinion at work, but became completely silent when it came to offering information about her personal life. She knew it wouldn't be easy to crack that shell, but Catherine was nothing if not persistent.
So, they slowly began to crawl towards friendship. It first began outside of the lab, away from home, going for coffee or a quick bite to eat. Sara remained alert, but as Catherine seemed nothing but genuinely sincere and friendly, the brunette eventually felt cautiously at ease. As the weeks went by, Sara began coming to Catherine's house instead of the two going out. Not only did this give them more of a chance to talk, but it also afforded Sara the opportunity to see Lindsey.
With time, they developed a routine that both women liked. Sara would arrive early enough in the evening to help Lindsey with her homework, as well as play games before supper. The three would then have dinner together before Catherine's mother or sister arrived to watch Lindsey. She and Catherine would then drive together to work (Sara insisting on driving) and return to Catherine's house after their shift. Sara would even stay for breakfast on occasion, and one time she ended up sleeping there.
Sara quickly became a regular face in the Willows household, and Catherine found she was more than grateful for her presence. She was an incredible help with Lindsey, and in a surprising turn of events, she also turned out to be quite the handywoman. Without even being asked, she had gone and fixed Lindsey's closet door (it kept coming off the track), finished adding the baseboards in the hallway on the second floor, mounted the mirror in Catherine's bedroom (it had been leaning against the wall for almost a year now), and had stopped the whirring sound the ceiling fan made in the office. It seemed every time Catherine turned around, Sara was finishing up yet another job in the house: tightening the handle on the bathroom door, replacing the long ignored burnt light bulb in the hallway closet, installing a handrail on the steps outside ("…in case Lindsey misses a step and falls"), hooking up the DVD player and the PS3 so that Catherine didn't have to keep unplugging one to use the other… and the list continued. The strawberry blonde found herself relying heavily on the other woman and Sara didn't seem to mind in the least. It was refreshing for Catherine. She had always prided herself on her independence, but she found lately that she was mistaken in her thinking. It was so much better with Sara around, and Catherine often found herself wishing the brunette were there when she was gone. She missed her when she wasn't in the house, almost like a part of her family was missing.
Wait.
When had she started thinking of Sara as family? Probably around the time that Sara had started sleeping in the guest room more often than she slept at her own apartment, she mused.
It also turned out that as the brunette became more comfortable, she began asserting herself and making decisions for Catherine. Sara had a very decisive nature, and it was something that Catherine greatly appreciated because she made decisions that the strawberry blonde had been agonising over for months. For example, it was Sara who had finally chosen what colour they would paint the living room and it was she who had actually carried out the task. It was Sara who put her foot down and made Catherine take her vehicle to the mechanic's when the strawberry blonde had been humming and hawing whether or not to do it. She had also started deciding what groceries they needed for the week and where they would bring Lindsey on the weekend.
Catherine loved this side of the brunette, and the feelings it stirred in her were more than welcome. She had someone to depend on, someone to help her choose when she debated, and in the cases where she didn't want to choose, she had Sara to make the decisions for her. Catherine had a strong personality, she was independent, but it was exhausting having to always be in charge. Sometimes, she just wanted to sit back and let someone else take the reins. The truth was, Catherine preferred to follow than to lead in a relationship, and Sara it seemed, preferred to lead. Even though they weren't dating, it still worked perfectly for them. It astounded her that they had been such enemies for so long, when it turned out that in their day-to-day life, they got along beautifully. Catherine had let her pride and jealousy dictate how to treat the brunette, and for that she was ashamed. Sara was turning out to be the best thing that happened to her and Lindsey.
Sara, in turn, was more than enjoying her new "family". She now ate delicious home cooked meals regularly thanks to Catherine's incredible culinary skills, she had people who seemed to genuinely enjoy her presence (a feeling she hadn't experienced in longer than she cared to admit), and a place where she felt wanted. She felt needed, respected, and Catherine seemed to genuinely value her opinion. She liked stepping up and taking over when she was with the woman; it made her feel like she was taking care her. However, she never made a decision without first picking Catherine's brain, finding out the woman's preferences and basing her decision upon those desires.
It was Catherine who first realised her feelings had changed, and it was brought to her attention by Sara's leaving for a week. It had been nearly six months now that Sara had started referring to Catherine's house as "home", instead of her apartment. They both silently agreed that they preferred to be together than apart, so the brunette stayed over often. Sara had been sleeping over so often in fact that the guest bedroom had now become known as "Sara's room". But then an old friend from San Francisco had come to town to visit, and Sara had returned to her apartment for a week. The first day, the two Willows women had been okay. They had remained distracted and went to bed early as usual. The second day, Lindsey had stated that she missed Sara, and Catherine had readily agreed. The third day, Lindsey asked to call Sara and Catherine, missing the woman so much, had agreed to interrupt Sara's visit just so that she could hear her voice.
She waited until the evening, and when she called, she was so elated to hear the other woman's voice that she thought her lips would crack from smiling. She let Lindsey speak to her first, and after a lengthy conversation, the girl reluctantly agreed with Sara that it was way past her bedtime. So, she had bid her goodnight and passed Catherine the phone.
"Hey."
"Hi, you," Catherine said, grinning widely. She could hear Sara's smile in her voice.
"How have you been?"
"We've been okay. We miss you. I can't get Lindsey to stop talking about you."
Sara chuckled. Catherine's heart fluttered.
"I miss you guys too."
"Are you having a good time? I'm not interrupting, am I? We can talk another time."
"No! I mean… no. It's okay. Claire is on the phone with her boyfriend anyway," a pause. "To be honest, I think she's having phone sex."
"Really?" Catherine had asked, laughing. "It's only been three days."
Sara gave a slow, deep laugh; Catherine's stomach tightened.
"I know. I guess he misses her."
Catherine bit her lip as she traced her finger over the cherry blossoms drawing she had fished out from the drawer.
"What have you two been doing?" Sara asked.
"Missing you mostly," she said, her index finger going over one of the pink petals. "What have you guys been up to?"
"We've been touring the city. She's never been here before."
"That sounds like fun."
"I'd rather be listening to you talk about what you saw in this week's edition of Elle magazine."
They came out monthly, but Catherine didn't bother correcting her.
"You hate my Elle magazines."
"I miss hearing you talk about them," she admitted softly.
Catherine's heart flooded. She wished she could reach through the phone. When she realised she had been quiet for far longer than was socially acceptable, she cleared her throat and resumed speaking.
"I'll make sure they're waiting for you when you get home."
It was Sara's heart's turn to be flooded with warmth. Home. Catherine thought her house was also Sara's home.
"Please do," she said after a pause, her voice gravelly. It made Catherine shiver. "Four more days."
"We're counting them down. I can't wait to see you."
Catherine stopped speaking when she heard Claire through the phone. Sara responded that she was coming before turning back to her conversation with Catherine.
"I'm sorry. I have to go now. We're going to see a movie."
Catherine smiled, but she felt sad. Sara sounded about as happy as Catherine felt, so the strawberry blonde forced herself to sound cheerful in her response. She didn't want Sara to feel down.
"Okay, sweetie. You'll have fun. You love going to the movies. Don't make yourself sick on the popcorn though. You know how you tend to overdo it."
Sara laughed when she heard Catherine's giggle, the memory of Sara clutching her stomach in agony the last time they went to the movies together hitting both of them. She had eaten an entire tub of popcorn to herself, only to then spend the entire car ride home in so much pain that Catherine had had to drive home. It had been worth it to have the strawberry blonde fuss over her for the rest of the evening though.
"I'll try not to. Give Lindsey a kiss for me."
Catherine fought the desire to ask for one too. Instead, she agreed and they hung up.
The rest of the week passed slowly for Catherine. She could no longer deny the fact that she was totally, completely, and hopelessly in love with Sara. Now that she was no longer around, the house felt cold and empty. There was something missing and both Willows women felt it. Sara was the only thing Catherine could think about and she was practically counting down the seconds until the woman would be back. Even at work, she couldn't escape Sara's absence. Everyone kept asking how Sara was doing, if she was enjoying her vacation, and if Catherine had heard anything new about the brunette.
Sara was faring no better. Although she was glad to see her friend, she was also eager for her to leave. She just wanted to get home to Catherine and Lindsey. She had begun calling them every night after Catherine's initial phone call, unable to stay away any longer. Claire had hounded her after the third phone call, or the sixth night of her visit, interrogating her about the woman she was seeing and demanding to know why Sara hadn't said anything earlier.
"I'm not seeing her. We're just friends."
"Oh no you don't, Sara Sidle. You're not playing that "we're just friends" bullshit. You tried telling me you were "just friends" with Mandy Parker too. I didn't buy it then and I don't buy it now. You don't turn into a pile of mush and affection for anyone unless you're in love with them. Who is she?"
"She's just a colleague. Catherine is-"
"Catherine? So I finally have a name for the person who has been occupying your thoughts all week. I thought maybe you were distracted because of work, but I see you have been distracted for a much more interesting reason. So, spill."
"There's nothing to tell."
"Ah, so you haven't made a move yet. Why not? You're not getting any younger."
"Claire, I-"
"Oh, don't start denying it. I know that tone. Why not?" she asked firmly.
Sara sighed. She wasn't going to win, so she gave in.
"I didn't figure it out til this week," she admitted. "That's why not."
Claire nodded in understanding.
"But you will now?"
"I don't know."
"Does she feel the same way?"
"I don't know. I think so."
"She's gay?"
"No, she dates men too."
"She knows you're gay?"
"I'm pretty sure she knows, but I haven't told her."
"Why not?"
Sara shrugged.
"Never saw why I needed to. It was never relevant."
"Maybe now you should."
"Maybe…"
Claire left the following morning, telling Sara to just go for it. She had never ever seen the brunette so smitten, and after speaking about it all night, it sounded like feelings were reciprocated anyway.
When Sara announced that she was on her way over, Lindsey cheered and stayed firmly planted by the window until the woman pulled into the driveway. Sara had barely closed the car door when Lindsey came flying out the front door and threw herself at her. She managed to open her arms quickly enough to catch the screaming child in her arms, pulling her in for a hug. The girl didn't stop repeating how much she had missed her, and she squealed with delight when Sara produced a small bouquet of flowers for her.
Lindsey then hopped out of her arms, turning to run in the house to put her flowers in a vase of water. Sara approached the front steps, suddenly nervous. However, when Catherine appeared at the door, her nervousness melted into to confidence and determination. Catherine was her rock, her safe place. She was the one constant in her life, and she needed her. Catherine wanted her too, she was sure of it now. The only thing she needed to do was stake her claim.
Sara walked to her confidently, and when they were standing before one another, Catherine opened her arms wide and threw them around Sara's neck. Without thinking twice, Sara gently dropped Catherine's bouquet of blossoms, leaned forward, pressed her lips to Catherine's, and kissed her firmly, possessively. Catherine returned the kiss with gusto, hungrily claiming Sara's lips. She pressed her body tight against Sara's, shivering when the fingers gripping her hips moved to gently stroke the skin on her lower back. Nothing existed in that moment but the way Sara made her feel. Her stomach dropped low, her heart hammered in her chest, and the blood rushed loudly in her ears, but that was nothing compared to the way her flesh burned where Sara was touching her.
She moaned loudly when Sara's blunt fingernails scraped at her skin, wetness pooling between her legs when she felt Sara's tongue stroke against her own. Her stomach clenched hard when she heard the brunette's growl of satisfaction at finally tasting her. Catherine tightened her arms around her neck, trying to propel her body forward and kiss her harder. Sara stood still, firmly refusing to back down. The brunette controlled the kiss, her tongue leading the long strokes as they dueled for dominance.
Finally, Catherine couldn't do it anymore. She backed down, reluctantly pulling away as her head buzzed from a lack of oxygen. She pressed her forehead to Sara's, panting harshly. The brunette chuckled after a second, pressing her lips to Catherine's forehead.
"If that's how you'll greet me when I get back, I'll have to leave more often."
Catherine tightened her hold on Sara, shaking her head.
"You're not allowed to leave ever again. We missed you way too much. I missed you way too much," Catherine pulled back to look into her eyes. "I love you, Sara Sidle."
Sara kissed her way to her ear.
"I love you too," she murmured, enjoying the way the woman shivered against her.
And that was how they moved from friends-but-more-than-that to an actual relationship. Sara opted not to renew her lease when it ended, instead moving in with her girlfriend and daughter. She moved into Catherine's room, and Lindsey was ecstatic that Sara now lived with them on a permanent basis.
The first time they made love, Sara was sure she had never experienced anything more loving, intimate, sensual, gratifying, and heart-wrenchingly beautiful. Her heart swelled from the myriad of emotions that overcame her when she finally got to show the strawberry blonde exactly how she felt about her. Catherine, for her part, had never felt so cherished, adored, and cared for. Sara made love to her slowly, gently, and she was incredibly tender in her touches. They made love endlessly, neither one able to get enough of the other. They spent nearly all of their free time together talking, touching, and laughing. Catherine made it a point to learn as much as she could about Sara, and the brunette did the same. They knew each other better than anyone had known them before, continually asking questions to learn more about each other's thoughts, opinions, and desires. They prided themselves on the fact that they knew each other so intimately. It therefore came as a great surprise to learn that they had missed a glaring point in their quest to know each other inside out.