What would happen if someone (In the Akatsuki) started a food fight? (Sasori's comeback... (Does Sasori really have problems?)
(The Comedy)
One dark and somewhat normal evening at Akatsuki HQ, it was around the time the akatsuki ate dinner (go along with it…ok?). Everyone was talking amongst themselves until Pein breaks up their conversations.
"Alright everyone…" Pein began. Everyone else stopped talking for a brief moment or two then started talking again. Pein was quite annoyed at this point and shouted from the top of his lungs "SILENCE!!" The room became quiet once again. "Thank you….as I was about to say…." Pein started to say until everyone else started to ignore him once again. This time, Pein was pissed off (really mad) but managed to hold back his anger. He then clears his throat.
"….As I was saying…..in honor for the capture of the Kyuubi…..there's going to be a traditional (considered a rare occasion for the Akatsuki) feast….." The room went silent yet again. Eventually, there was but one piece of (Insert type of meat here) left and both, Kisame and Zetsu wanted it. So, the only way (for them) to decide who would get it was playing a somewhat aggressive game of "Tug-O-War".
After a while of the "game", it slipped out of their hands and shot straight up into the air (NOTE: The food is not possessed!) And started bouncing off the walls… (Wow! That's one slippery piece of meat! I wonder if it's made of rubber….Hmm….). It eventually landed on Deidara's head. Deidara was pretty pissed. "You're going to pay for that, un!" with that said, Deidara (literally) picks up a piece of meat from his plate and throws it (How unsanitary!).
"Everyone….settle d...!" Pein started to say until he was cut off by some of his soup (that he was currently eating) staining his cloak. "The soup! It is ruined!" Pein said with a horrified, yet shocked expression on his face. The horrified, yet shocked expression quickly turned to anger. Pein then picked up a nearby bowl of Ranch dressing and threw it in a random direction (Well, it looks like Pein is acting a bit childish too…what a shame…). The ranch dressing was headed in Itachi's direction (he was reading a book at the time). It was a direct hit! It ruined (smudged some of the word in the book so they weren't readable anymore) the book he was reading and messed up his hair (not like a bad hair day, but just made it look like he had white hair…sort of…). Itachi closed the book then got up from his seat and left the room. The room goes silent for a brief moment then everyone (except for Itachi) picked up on what they were doing.
Deidara glares at Zetsu and Kisame. "I'm not done with you yet, un!" with that said, he picks up a turkey leg and throws it at Zetsu, knocking him out. Zetsu eventually wakes up with a dazed look on his face but quickly snaps out of it and picks up a fish and whacks Kisame with it (Does Zetsu have Amnesia? I'm not sure…). "Hey! That's my cousin! You killed my cousin!" Everyone else except for Itachi and Kisame looked confused and said "he has a cousin?!" Kisame then interrupts them "Yes, I do…and you killed him!" He then pulls out Samahade and begins to chase random members around the table with it. Pein was quite irritated at the moment "Everyone….Settle Dow-" Before he could finish what he was going to say, he looked down only to find that his soup was missing. "Alright….who stole my soup?!" Pein asked in an annoyed tone. A few moments later, Tobi chimes in "It was Deidara!" While pointing in at Deidara for a minute or two before he gleefully exclaimed "Tobi is a good boy!" There was another brief moment of silence. "Yes…I think we all know that Tobi…." Pein replied emotionlessly while taking a piece of (Insert type of pie here) and throwing it in another random direction. The slice of pie was headed in Deidara's direction. Deidara's face was covered in pie. Deidara then started to run around in circles panicking while screaming "The (Insert type of fruit here)! They've come back to kill me, un!" Everyone else sweat drops "The (Insert type of fruit here)'s have killed my father! But now they're back for revenge, un!" Deidara eventually calms down. Shortly after Deidara's little "Panic Attack", Itachi walks back in the room, only to be whacked with yet another, but different fish. Not too long after that, he left the room yet again. Hidan was dodging random food that was thrown in his direction using his scythe to deflect the food back in random directions. Konan gets up from her seat and leaves the table. Kakuzu was busy counting his money (his…."wooden"….money…..).
Eventually, he becomes quite bored then gets up from his seat and leaves the table…forgetting to take the money with him. Itachi walks back in the room once again, only to spot Kakuzu's money. He looks at the money briefly then walks away. Pein suddenly blurted out "Nobody move!" Deidara then asks "Why, un?" Pein trys to come up with a decent answer then says "I've lost my mind…" a minute later after, Deidara begins to panic yet again. "Oh my god…the leader has lost his mind, un?!" Pein becomes quite irritated with deidara's little panic attacks. "It's a figure of speech you moron!" Deidara stops panicking and has a dumbfounded expression on his face "Oh…ok, un." Pein decides to change the subject. "Remember….do not…I repeat…do NOT let Sasori near (or in) water!" Zetsu's dark side then breaks Pein's silence. "… Why shouldn't we? It's hilarious!" A few of the other members give him a strange look but very few people agreed with him. "Hmm…well, you do have a point Zetsu…but still…I'm sure you probably don't want to know what happens if Sasori were to come in contact with water…and…" pein changes the subject yet again. "Alright, who let deidara's sister in here?!" Deidara interrupts him "Sister? I don't have a sister, un! …for that you must pay!" pein seemed quite irritated "Pay? What do you mean "pay"?! I don't have to pay anything!" Both Deidara and pein begin to argue. This continues on for a while before Hidan breaks it up "BE QUIET! THIS IS NOT GETTING ANYWHERE!" Pein and Deidara look thoughtful for a moment then agreed with him thus putting that aside for now. Pein brings the previous subject up again. "So…is anyone interested in hearing the reason why Sasori should not come in contact with water?" No one said anything until Kisame randomly exclaimed "I shall tell you!" Things seemed quiet once more until Hidan asked "Well? Are you going to tell us or not?"
Kisame does not say anything for a moment before letting out a sigh "alright…I'll tell you…so listen up! Sasori…has problems…" after a while of continuous talking, Zetsu's good side says "So…basically…you're saying that Sasori has gone emo?" without a second thought Kisame replies "Yes…I mean…NO!" Itachi appears out of no where "So…tell me Itachi….do you know the REAL answer?" Itachi had a confused expression on his face for a few minutes "What ans-- ….oh…that answer….the reason isn't THAT bad….an example…" Itachi walks over to Kisame and whispers something in his ear. An evil grin appeared on Kisame's face. "Say…that's not a bad idea Itachi-san." Sasori then remembered what Kisame had said.
"Wait…what did you just say?!" Sasori screeched "We said that you have problems…" Itachi calmly replied. Sasori summons one of his puppets "First off…I do NOT have problems…second…nothing is going to happen if I come in contact with water…" Itachi didn't say anything. A smirk appeared on Sasori's face "Speechless…just as I thought…" A smirk also appeared on Itachi's face. "We can prove you wrong…I wouldn't be too confident if I were you…" Sasori's expression changed to a more serious one. "And how do you plan on proving anything? You don't even HAVE any proof! ….wait…you…you do have proof!" Sasori's eyes widened and a shocked expression appeared on his face. "That's my cue!" Kisame then walks over to Sasori and uses his "Water Shark Bomb Jutsu" then slowly backs away. Sasori pretends to melt "Nooo! I'm melting! I'm mel…oh shoot…. " Sasori then suddenly explodes. "I guess you were right Itachi…Sasori…DOES have problems…" Hidan then said after a moment of silence then continues with what he was saying. "Oh! I know just the thing for moments like this!" Itachi exclaimed. He pulls out a violin. "By the way Sasori…you really should think about getting therapy…. …without therapy…I would have never been the man I am today…." Everyone else gasps and Itachi starts to play a sad tune on the violin. "You see…when I was little….I've always wanted a puppy…." Hidan pauses for a second "Will you quit it with the violin music?!" Itachi stopped playing the violin "Oh…I need therapy? I think you ALL need therapy! ….especially you Itachi….." Itachi was shocked at what Sasori had said "What?!" Sasori continued "Didn't you hear me? ALL of you need therapy….well…except for Tobi…. Now if you would "kindly" help me find the rest of me…that would be most appreciated…." Everyone else looks at each other for a minute "Erm…I'd help you, un…..but…." Deidara pulls out a pocket watch "I'm late for target practice, un….wait….I'm three hours late! Sorry Sasori-No-Danna…I best be going now…maybe later though, un!" Deidara vanishes.
Some time later, Itachi appears in some random place. "Hello, and welcome to ("the price is right"!)" the crowd cheers and the host walks up to Itachi "Hello sir you don't look old enough to participate in today's show…" Itachi is confused at first "look, I'm (Insert age from the shippuuden series here) and no….I do not wish to participate in your show….." Itachi vanishes then reappears in another random place "Hello, and welcome back to another great season of ("America's Funniest home Videos)!" Itachi seems annoyed at first until the host comes up and says "Congratulations sir! You have won our 10,000 grand prize!" Itachi seems to be confused "I don't remember submitting anything in to this show..." The host gives him a strange look "Don't be so modest sir! Hey folks, how about we replay that video?" The crowd cheers yet again "This guy is weird…remind me not to watch this show anymore…" Itachi said in his thoughts before vanishing yet again thus, returning to Akatsuki HQ (Wow that was one "eventful" day wasn't it?)
And so, we end our story here. Did Itachi ever get the money? Maybe…..but what happened to Deidara and the others? I guess we'll never know….And as for Sasori…Well…Lets just say he's in a happier place now…(Note: Two kids found his head and are now using it as a basketball…as for the rest of him…well…lets just say that it was shipped to Japan and…I think enough has been said….)