December 2009
Spencer Reid was a man of science. He appreciated laws, boundaries, and rules. And there were definitely laws, boundaries, and rules that he was crossing by doing this. At least, he thought there was.
Laws: He reasoned within himself. They were divorced. She was no longer married, she was single. Boundaries:
He couldn't help but flinch, because, as oblivious as the team thought he was, it was obvious to anyone with sight that Hotch had always loved her. That he still did.
Rules: There's no rule against it, none at all. No one even has to know.
Yet even as he walked his conscience still twinged, and for the hundredth time, Spencer squashed that annoying twinge, the hated voice in his head. that told him that this was wrong, and, at best, disloyal to Hotch.
But he couldn't help himself anymore, and right now, he simply did not care.
As a man of science, he knew that there was nothing he could do to change what had happened to her, nothing he could do to bring her back. That any way he could possibly look at it, he was too little too late. And yet, while cold December flurries filled the air around him, Spencer made his way, cane and all, to the freshly dug grave of Haley Hotchner.
He stopped in front of the plot, there hadn't been enough time for the headstone to arrive yet, and looked at the ground, wishing that he had at least brought flowers or something.
"Hello, Haley." He shifted on his feet, regret and an indescribable aching sadness filling him. "It's me, Spencer. I just wanted..."
He trailed off, not sure what to say. What did he want? He wanted a second chance to tell her the truth. He wanted her back. Back here, but with him this time around.
"I wanted to talk to you, to tell you that … that I love you. I've hated myself for it for years, but I guess I can tell you now, even though I'm not sure why I am. I think that you felt the same way, but it's always been so complicated between us. So hard. I do love you though, and I think that I might always love you. I just... I wanted to tell you that."
He turned away from the graveside. After going two steps, he stopped and turned his head back to take one last look.
He said as a parting remark, "I always did have a thing for blondes, you know."
I wrote this for Challenge King, who has been an amazing help to me over this past week and a half. Even so, this is admittedly not the best display of my writing capabilities. Everyone please R&R and tell me what you think! Thanks!:)