Disclaimer: NCIS and everything associated with it does not belong to me nor do I make money from these little spins I take the crew on. Oh I barrowed lyrics from a song I don't own either.

AN: So I was listening to a the song Give it to A Good Man (written by D. Steen) sung by Tonic Sol-fa and this little story popped into my head and I wrote it down for your enjoyment. Ok read on. dark rolling sea.

Giving up the Heart

Kate had a sparkle in her eyes; the one Gibbs loved to see. This time though he was not happy to see it. He knew why that sparkle was in her eyes, she had been talking about the reason for three weeks straight now, the sparkle always there. Gibbs had pretended not to eavesdrop on her and Tony's bantering but for some reason this time Gibbs was drawn into what she was saying.

Tony's constant teasing was not enough to deter Kate Todd. Gibbs noticed that she continued to smile no matter how much chiding Tony threw at her. She had met someone new. That was the bottom line and she was happy. Gibbs noticed as the weeks numbered on that more and more of Kate's comments were backed by the sparkle in her eyes. That dreamy look he wished was pointed at him.

He knew that was ridicules. He was so much older than her, he was her boss, and he was a grumpy bastard. He knew that there was no chance she would return what had blossomed in his heart, so he hid it. He pushed it into that box he kept for all the other emotions he didn't want to deal with. Hiding them in the darkness, making them disappear.

Though if he would just admit it, those feelings for Kate he pushed into the box…never stayed there. They always escaped somehow and reappeared in his head. It could be a scent, a picture, and sound. Anything he noticed could trigger the release of them and then he had to fight them so they didn't emerge on his face. Sometimes he failed, sometimes they escaped and he smiled or his eyes lit up, but he would quickly confront the feelings, forcing them back to their place in the box.

There was no point in dwelling on them, they were an infatuation he told himself, he wasn't necessarily in love with her, she just fascinated him, a different creature with unusual antics. She didn't shy away from his gruff exterior; on the contrary she challenged it. She challenged him on his ways, his actions, and his motives. He loved the days when she would confront him, make him think, react, and respond.

But now he knew she was headed for disaster. He told himself he didn't know what compelled him to do it, but that was a lie. He knew in his heart why he did it but now he couldn't bring himself to tell her what he did. It was an invasion of her privacy, it was something he should have left alone, but he hated to see her heart broken. He had checked up on one Brian Richards. As soon as she said his name Gibbs knew what he would do.

He fought the urge for awhile, debating in his head if he should invade her privacy, but his heart got the better of him. If she was going to give up her heart, he better be a good man. So Gibbs had a checked on Brian. Once it was done…he wished he hadn't. He wished now he didn't know what he had found out, it made it all that more difficult to watch that sparkle in her eyes, the joy in her voice, the happiness she exhibited.

Gibbs was listening in now, as Kate told Tony and McGee she had plans for the night. His eyes came up quickly catching the dreamy look in her eyes, before he ducked his head, hiding his disproval. The day was nearing an end and McGee bailed down to Abby's lab and Tony scrammed as soon as he was able too, leaving Kate and Gibbs in the bullpen on their own. Gibbs looked up contemplating if he should tell Kate what he found out, not knowing how she'd react.

He knew she deserved to know, but he couldn't bring himself to admit his invasion into her private life, but more so the fact she would want a reason for his doing so. He couldn't give it to her; he couldn't admit it to her. It would change everything. No he would go home, work on his boat, and brood over his secret knowledge. One day she would come in, the starry look in her eyes gone, replaced with hurt and pain, the bounce in her step would be gone, and the joy in her voice would disappear. He knew it was inevitable but he couldn't bring himself to do it to her.

So instead he watched her from his desk. He then knew he had to leave or he would tell her everything, the urge growing in his mind, his heart. Things wouldn't work out though, his brain new this, there was just too much to get in the way. He had too much baggage, and besides she didn't return the feeling. He would not open his own heart to that kind of rejection, not from Kate Todd. He wouldn't be able to handle that.

He stood and shrugged his coat over his shoulders. He needed coffee and fresh air, a good walk down the street would help clear his mind, or confuse him more. Either way it got him away from Kate. He was passing her desk when he paused. She slowly drew her attention up to him, wondering why he was standing there.

His face was downcast as he studied the carpet. His right knuckles gently tapping on the side of her desk, making a calming rhythm for him. Kate waited, expecting him to speak. He said nothing just continued to stand there, tapping his knuckles, contemplating. Kate could tell he was in thought. She tilted her head slightly.

"Something on your mind, Gibbs?" she asked softly. It was enough to draw him from his reverie, to make him lock eyes with her. He quickly buttoned down the hatches on his emotions. Kate looked into emotionless blue eyes, making her feel slightly uncomfortable. She sat back a little in her chair to put a little more distance between them. He closed his eyes briefly before shaking his head slowly. He moved towards the elevator.

Kate followed him with her eyes wondering what that was all about. She knew there was something on his mind, something bothering him, so she got up and headed after him. He was waiting on the elevator when she came up behind him. She touched him gently on the back causing him to look at her over his shoulder. She questioned him with her eyes before she spoke.

"What is it?" she asked truly concerned over his current mood. He smiled softly at her, knowing that she didn't really want to know what was wrong, that he truly couldn't tell her what he thought he needed too.

"You should go, Kate, you'll be late for you date if you don't leave soon," Gibbs said as he wished the elevator would hurry. He felt his heart quickening and his palms were clammy. He wanted to tell her everything but knew he couldn't for fear of rejection.

"Didn't know you were concerned. I'll leave when my report is finished, shouldn't be too long," Kate said slightly confused and then turned and headed back towards her desk. Gibbs turned watching her walk away, wishing she was going with him. Wishing she would be by his side forever.

"So long as you know what you're doing," Gibbs said without thinking. He closed his eyes as he knew that would gain her attention and bring more questions. Questions he didn't know if he wanted to answer, or if he could at all. Kate stopped in her tracks. She paused staring at her desk before slowly turning back towards Gibbs. He was standing sideways now so he could avoid her eyes but could still watch her.

"What does that mean?" Kate asked accusatory. Gibbs cringed internally at the harshness in her voice. He didn't mean to upset her, to anger her, or even intrigue her. He never should have said anything, he was free and clear, then his statement reeled her back in. He knew it was his inability to let her go even though he knew it would never be more.

"I just hope you know what you're doing is all. I've seen the look in your eyes these last couple weeks," he said still avoiding looking at her. He noticed her tilting her head to the side, contemplating what he had said, trying to read into his tone and meaning. He closed his eyes wishing the elevator to hurry.

"Brian is a wonderful man," Kate said flatly and Gibbs felt his stomach turn. He knew the truth and she didn't, but soon enough her opinion of that man would change and he knew the pain and anger she would feel.

"Maybe, maybe not," Gibbs said slowly before looking at her, feeling his courage come up a little. "If you're going to give your heart away, Kate, just make sure it's to a good man. And make sure you can give it all that you can."

Kate was stunned by this revelation from Gibbs. She studied his eyes and he let her, noticing something more in there that she hadn't seen. She wondered what all this meant, and why Gibbs would say something of that magnitude to her. She stepped closer to him and watched as his breathing increased slightly. Something was definitely different with Gibbs today. She stared at him begging for him to clarify what he meant; she wanted to understand his message.

"You don't know this stranger Brian from the man in the moon," Gibbs said looking at his feet. "You're just hungering for affection, just because he shows you kindness you're love is blind."

Kate stared in awe as Gibbs spoke to her, she had no idea he felt this way, and didn't know exactly what he was getting at. He was trying to tell her something and her heart skipped at the possibility of what it all could mean, but she knew that was impossible, there would never be more with him, ever.

"What do you suggest, Gibbs?" she asked as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Gibbs looked at her quickly one last time, masking the emotions of his heart and turmoil of his mind, before stepping into the car. She stared at him expectantly as he avoided her last question. Finally he looked up at her, his shoulders gently rising and slowly falling before he answered her.

"Just if you're going give up your heart, give it to a good man," He said as the doors started to close. Kate stared at him in awe as she filtered his words through her brain. The doors were almost closed and Gibbs had looked down at his feet when he spoke again. "Someone like me," he mumbled, and then the doors were closed.

Kate knew he had said something more in the elevator before the doors had closed but she didn't understand what it was. She was shocked that he had told her all this. Her brain was frozen as she tried to comprehend what had happened, but then she realized she needed to finish her report if she was going to make it to her date with Brian on time.

Gibbs got off the elevator and walked to the coffee shop but he knew he couldn't return to the office tonight. His brain was overflowing now with thoughts, feelings, and turmoil. He had let the emotions out of the box now, opened it just enough for more than one to escape and he couldn't corral them. He was angry at himself for allowing it, mad at Brian for hurting Kate, sad that Kate would endure the pain that was to come, and ashamed he knew and didn't tell her.

He went home and straight down the stairs to his basement. He took his frustration, anger, and sorrow out on the skeleton that would one day sail on the water. He resisted the urge to continually check the clock, to think what she was doing right now, and with whom. He tried desperately to force her from his mind but it didn't work.

Eventually he stopped pushing himself and laid down in the frame work of the boat staring at the ceiling wondering when it all went wrong. Wondering why this one was different, why he couldn't remove her from his thoughts, ignore the physical attraction when he was near her, and ban the emotional attachment that had grown between them.

Kate finished her report, laying it on Gibbs desk with their conversation running through her mind, wondering what he was trying to tell her. He was in her mind now, and would probably be there for the rest of the evening, but she hustled home to change. She went to meet Brian, and they shared a dinner with laughter. There was a strong attraction between them, but Kate noticed Gibbs was still there in her mind, never quite going away, his words echoing in her ears.

They were nearing the end of dinner, rain had started to fall outside, and Kate felt content. Brian paid the bill and they were sitting, sipping coffee, talking, when someone entered the restaurant. Kate barely registered the other woman as she looked around, searching for someone, her attention still on Brian.

Kate was more than a little shocked when the woman walked up to their table and stopped, glaring at Brian. Kate looked up at her before her eyes traveled back to Brian who had a shocked look on his own face. He glanced at Kate with apologetic eyes and the woman began to speak.

"So you're Kate," the woman said, her voice strained, the tears holding in her eyes. Kate looked up at her nodding slowly wondering what this was about. "I hoped it was a lie, Brian, that he was kidding me."

"What's going on?" Kate asked suddenly feeling the nausea start in her stomach. Something was definitely wrong. Brian looked like a kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and Kate felt the anger boil in her blood.

"I'm sorry, Kate," Brian said looking down at the table, avoiding both women. Kate looked up at the stranger with questioning eyes, finally starting to put two and two together.

"He's my husband," the other woman said softly, and Kate felt like crawling in a hole. It was then that Gibbs' words came back to her, was this what he was trying to warn her about?

"Oh my, God," Kate said as she pulled the napkin from her lap closing her eyes struggling to maintain her composure. "You're married?" she asked with venom in her voice as she stood from the table. Brian stood as well with his hands out looking around the restaurant.

"For seven years," the other woman said the tears falling from her eyes now. Kate looked from the woman to Brian, her eyes conveying the hurt and anger she was feeling. Kate took a deep shuddering breath to calm herself, finding it did nothing as the tears threatened to take over. Her mind was reeling as if slapped and she couldn't slow it down.

"I'm sorry," Kate said to the other woman with sincerity. "I had no idea."

The woman simply nodded that she had heard, but it didn't help to stop the ache and Kate knew that it was a feeble attempt to make amends. Kate left then, without another word as Brian and his wife stared at each other. As soon as she was out in the rain the tears cascaded down her face as the emotional tidal wave enveloped her being. Her thoughts were scrambled and jumbled as she walked to her car in the pouring rain. She was soaked to the bone when she reached the vehicle but she didn't notice it. She yanked the door open and drove away. She didn't know where she was going, just letting the vehicle lead the way.

She realized who she was running to when she pulled into his driveway. The lights upstairs were off and she felt her heart sink thinking he wasn't home, but she saw his car in the driveway. She got out into the rain again but couldn't bring herself to go to the door.

She wondered why of all people she had come here, to a place where she couldn't get in return the love she knew she harbored. She didn't understand why she couldn't forget about her grumpy boss, why his silver hair appealed to her so much, why the age difference meant nothing to her.

Kate stood in the rain, letting the water soak her, and carry her tears away as she stared at his house. What did she expect from going in there, had his words earlier meant something more? And what had she missed when the doors had closed on them? Her entire body ached as her heart was broken, she longed to be in the embrace of a man she didn't think wouldn't return the feelings she had for him.

Gibbs heard a car pull in as he lay on his back under the boat. He figured he would hear a knock on the door soon, but nothing happened. He sat up slowly wondering why they hadn't come to the door, he was sure he heard them get out of the vehicle. He climbed from under the boat and made his way to the basement steps after a while to investigate.

He looked out the front window and saw Kate standing in the rain staring at his front door. His heart sank, she knew. She had found out and she had come to him. Was it to accuse him of knowing and not telling her? Or was it because it was the one place she wanted to run to when she was hurt? He couldn't force the emotions down this time and a part of him was glad he didn't.

He opened his front door and stood in the jamb watching her. She looked up at him with pleading eyes and his heart shattered. There was more in that look than a broken hearted woman; there was a longing, a pleading, and the one thing he never expected. He saw love staring up at him.

He walked out into the rain quickly, stopping on the porch as she stood on the bottom step. They were quiet as the rain hummed and pounded around them. Finally Kate stepped up the stairs moving quickly towards him. His arms expanded and then closed around her as she buried her face in his chest. He led her into his house as she cried into him, soaking him. He didn't mind.

They sat on the couch with her crying into his chest as he consoled her, softly rubbing her back and clamping her tightly to him. He closed his eyes as he fought his own tears, wishing he could eliminate her fear and pain. It was a long time before she was quite and had stopped shaking from crying. She was simply shivering now. Gibbs stood from the couch and Kate wondered why he had left her, but he returned quickly with a blanket. He draped it around her before sliding back into place. She smiled weakly up at him.

"You knew," she said simply and Gibbs knew what she was talking about. He closed his eyes, his chin dropping to his chest. Finally he looked back up at her.

"Yes," Gibbs said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked the pain evident in her voice.

"You would have been mad at me," he said simply, the thought crazy in his head now.

"How did you know?" she asked slowly. He licked his lips as he stared at her.

"I…I checked him out after you said his name," Gibbs said, a slight redness creeping into his face as he felt ashamed. Kate reached out and touched his face, drawing his eyes back to hers.

"You should have told me," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said. Kate wasn't expecting an apology and could only nod after. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"What did you mean tonight when you left the office?" she asked as her hand lingered on his face. Gibbs could feel the love in the touch and his heart started to beat faster as his earlier thoughts of her never returning his affection started to dissipate.

"Just what I said," he replied in a whisper, his voice almost unwilling to work. He stared her in the eye and let her see the emotion that was usually masked. A small smile spread over her face.

"What did you say when the doors closed?" she asked him. "You had said if I give up my heart I should give it to a good man, then you said something more but I didn't hear you…what was it?"

Gibbs felt himself tighten with anticipation and fear as he mulled her question over. He wanted desperately to tell her what it was that he said, but he was afraid that all this was just her hurting over finding out the truth of Brian. He looked away from her. He felt one of her hands come to rest over his heart, the contact igniting his passion for her; the other one of her hands gently came into contact with his face. He turned to look at her again, his hand coming up to the one on his heart, squeezing it before he closed his eyes.

"I said someone like me," he whispered, his eyes still closed. There was silence and he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. He was shocked when he felt her lips gently come into contact with his. They paused, each savoring the feeling of the other for the first time, before they started to move, exploring and searching. There was a level of passion that Kate had never experienced, as he gently probed her mouth with his own. For Gibbs it was a dream come true. The first kiss came to an end and Gibbs pulled back finally opening his eyes.

"That a proposition?" Kate asked softly as she longed to feel his lips on hers again. Gibbs smiled, his eyes sparkling.

"I never thought you felt this way," he said. "I never thought you could go for a guy like me."

"Why?"

"I'm too old, too grumpy. I'm a bastard," Gibbs said with a short laugh. Kate leaned in and kissed him a second time, gently letting him know that there was more to come before she pulled back.

"Let me decide if you're too old, or grumpy," Kate replied.

"What about the bastard part?" Gibbs asked.

"We've already decided on that one," she replied with a smile. "But what about your rule never date a co-worker?"

"Sometimes chances come along that you have to take, and sometimes happiness comes before rules," he replied softly. Kate could only smile up at him, knowing that he meant every word of it.

The End.

AN: Hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought!