My head was pounding when I woke, groggy and disorientated
My head was pounding when I woke, groggy and disorientated. The room was still dark; it couldn't be morning. But I knew better than to expect the relief of more sleep. I tried hard not to recall whatever hideous dream my mind was attempting to replay. I rolled over and opened my eyes… quickly slamming them shut again afterwards.
I shuck my head and rolled back to my original position, attempting in vain to banish the image of unbelievable perfection that had just clouded my vision. I was clearly still dreaming.
Ice cold hands gently stroked the length of my side, sending my heart spluttering wildly.
"Go away!" I spat at this Greek God. I sat up and shielded my eyes from his staggering beauty.
"Bella?" cold lips chimed in a voice as soft as velvet yet layered with pain. The kind of sound that always made my heart go wild and sent my imagination into freefall.
"Yes, Go away, you stupid figment, product of a mind intent on torturing itself to death or whatever you are!" my voice was all over the place, so different from the dead monotone my I had grown used to. A bad sign, this was affecting me far more than I should let it. I groaned and turned to glare at the hallucination- bad idea.
"No," his eyes were smouldering even in the darkness; the sight triggered an erotic heartbeat.
This was unbelievable, why was I doing this to myself? Knowing that I was incapable of standing much more I jumped out of bed and hurled a pillow at were the thing had been. Praying I would see nothing for the pillow to hit.
His face was shocked, pained, and so unbelievably beautiful that it tore at my insides.
"Bella, please… trust me, I love you" his voice was s gentle heart stopping murmur and his arms were open wide in an invitation that would have been impossible to resist had I not known the severity of the consequences if I complied.
"Oh shut up!" I cried, looking out the window, it was a lot easier to resist when my eyes were away from his glorious face.
I took a deep breathe; I would wake soon enough and this cruel fantasy would all be over. I would just steer well clear of temptation for as long as my twisted mind kept him here.
He was silently at my side. i quickly shot my eyes away from his piercing beauty and they rested on a pile of books on my dresser. Without thinking I hurled one at him.
He deflected it with one swift movement, his curious eyes never leaving me.
"You know, figment, this dream has several floors I would like to rectify. Firstly, if it were up to me, this" I indicated to the volume of withering heights in my hand, "would hurt."
He caught the book this time and set it down on my desk. He turned back to me, his expression amused. "You think you're asleep," he stated.
I responded quickly, before my system could react to the sound of his voice. "oh I know I'm asleep"
"Whys that then?" he mused, his eyes still alight with humour.
"Well you can't possibly be that beautiful its just plain rude." I had absolutely no idea what tone of voice I'd used or what expression I was wearing and so was not entirely prepared for my favourite sound in the world: his gentle laughter.
I turned away, catching my breath. "Jeez, my imagination is going overboard tonight." I muttered, before adding in a darker tone "I'm not going to thank myself for this when I wake and he's…"
I trailed off; his ice cold arms were coiling themselves around my waist. He span me round to face him as my breathing reached hyperventilation. It was really beyond cruel what happened next…
His gentle hands traced every contour of my face, my hands, my body. His eyes searched hungrily at my face. How am I to survive after this? I felt tears well in my eyes as I attempted to escape, but his iron strength just forced me tighter to his perfect body.
"Damn it, Bella" I stuttered through sobs. My voice was thick, quivering, and it shocked him into letting me go; I began to pace. "Is it really not enough that I'm falling apart at the seams? That pain beyond all reason… no my twisted mind has to provide me with stupid hallucinations to make it even more unbearable… excruciating… I've had it! I'm trying so hard here and all my subconscious can offer me is this… these unhelpful dreams to drive me insane… I can't"
My voice broke on the last word and he was there. I cried wordlessly into his muscular chest.
"Bella please" his voice was low, intense, and shaking too. "Please trust me, I'm here and I love you… I'm yours forever."
His words just sent another round of tears. His shirt was ringing wet now, his hands were exceedingly gentle as they lifted my up. Leaning in his lips lightly traced my jaw. His breath was heavy in my ear. "You still don't trust me do you?"
I swallowed hard; willing me not to feel what I was feeling at the sound of his voice .I escaped his gaze to dwell out into the night. "I trust him; I will always trust him…" I told the darkness. "It's my mind I don't trust." My voice was calm, detached. I was feeling, and when I feel there is nothing to be had but pain. The only thing to do was to try to cling onto my zombie shell. Anything to make the hurt that would come easier.
"Would you please stop talking to me like I'm not here," he breathed, amused again, and exasperated.
"No," I said in that same indifferent tone, "because your not here."
He was there, holding my face in his hands. His eyes were suddenly intense, smouldering me even in the darkness. "Let's see" he spoke seductively, his voice overpowering. "How to convince you?"
He was leaning closer and my heart had gone into frenzied palpitations.
His lips were on mine and he was kissing me in a way he never had before. And all my resolve had disintegrated. I'd forgotten everything; there was none of the pain that had consumed every moment since the goodbye. He was the only real thing in the world: Edward. The softness of his hair at my fingertips, the cool gentle hands caressing my face and spin, the feel of his lips on mine, and his sweet, sweet breathe.
Reluctantly he pulled away and the beautiful crooked smile that rearranged his face was the last thing I saw before all was gone…
"Bella?" his voice was at my ear, layered with concern.
I breathed in the sensational scent of his neck and snuggled even closer into his perfect chest. Relishing in the rush of happiness that flowed through me as I recalled what had just happened.
"Edward," I sighed, delighting in the familiar feel of the word I had not spoken in so long.
I heard the smiled as he spoke. "You've been out cold for an hour," he informed me "I mean I knew I was good but really" his teasing was so natural, and it comforted me.
I felt a slight shock in discovering how long I had fainted for, but there was no real room for any emotion other than this overpowering happiness. Smiling my first real smile for months I lifted my head up, searching. His lips met mine for a brief moment before he threw his head back and chuckled.
"I take it that means you've accepted your awake" he mused.
"Maybe…" I teased leaning in to kiss him again. My light tone didn't entirely cover the genuine fear I tried to repress.
It must not have gone unnoticed for he had my face cradled in his hands and was gazing intently into my eyes.
"Bella listen to me I'm hear and I will never, never leave you again," his velvet voice had the seal of a promise. I nodded; it was impossible to hold onto my doubt with his eyes on me. And the sun rising, giving me a proper, breathtaking view of his face certainly didn't help.
One solitary tear rolled down my face as I nestled my head into his neck. He must have felt the moisture for his face was at mine in an instant and his ice cold fingertip had taken the tear away.
"You're not crying again, his voice was gentle, and I enjoyed the trill that went through me at the sound of his voice rather than trying to repress it.
I smiled up at the stunning creature. "Its tears of happiness," I breathed as my lips found his neck, his collarbone, his shoulder.
"What did I do to deserve you?" his soft voice was as shaky as mine.
I didn't answer and we were silent for a while, totally content.
"You have every right to hate me," his voice was darker now, pained. "What I did to you was inexcusable."
"I could never hate you" I said simply into the hollow of his throat.
"I hurt you and I had no right… but please!" he pulled my head away to look at his troubled face. "Please understand it was out of love… I was trying to… I didn't mean to."
"Shh," I placed my finger to his lips. He was torturing himself and I couldn't bear it. "I should have known it would be for some stupid noble reason." I laughed trying to lighten the mood.
"I put you in danger every second that I'm here; I wanted to give you a chance at a normal life and happiness without the danger… though I should have known your far to stronger danger magnet not to attract more trouble: Werewolves!"
"Guilty," I sighed. Then I looked at him again "but you know the werewolves were helping me. They're lovely people when they stop calling you bloodsucker."
He laughed then his tone became dark again, "I can't believe I forced you to put your trust in dogs!"
"Easy!" I warned, hitting his shoulder and causing a lot more damage to myself than to him: the granite vampire. "Oww!" I moaned as his cool lips soothed the throbbing.
"When are you going to learn you can't hurt me?" he laughed, he was far to amused at the situation for my liking.
I glared at him. "You know as soon as I'm not human, I'm going to knock the stuffing out of you!"
He had frozen solid, trying to control whatever emotion was running through him.
I sighed, "I think we've established what happens when I'm apart from you- therefore this is the only option. Accept it please…"
"So keen for eternal damnation," he muted, still tense with anger.
"So keen for an eternity with the love of my existence," I corrected, kissing the closed eyelids of my angel.