retconned some shit but I dont recall it being said otherwise so lets just say its au, thinking a 3-shot or something

When the Ashfords rescued the Lamperouges in the midst of the war torn Japan they were horrified at what they found. The two children were half starved, their clothes stained with grime and blood. It would take weeks for Lelouch to say much of anything to anyone save Nunally. It would take years for the world to pay.

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Lelouch is exhausted. He sits in his chair not feeling for the first time the pain of his geass. Its been a couple of days since the princess massacre and Area 11 and the world is shaken. The kind-hearted unassuming princess Euphemia had staged a plan to cooperate with the Elevens only to double cross them and massacre them wholesale. All of it happening from one mistake by Lelouch, one bad sentence ruined the possibilty of the Elevens getting what they want all through peace.

Lelouch ruined his sister's life and the world's memory of her. He even had to kill her himself, the icon Zero avenging the weak and stopping the powerful. He used her death and pushed it for his agenda. What can he say when he sees Suzaku next time? Lelouch would spend the past two days with Nunally comforting her and just being with her. He was hiding from the truth really. Lelouch knew now was the chance to advance but he just couldn't. He stood still and halted the rebellion for a moment so he can grieve and feel all the more the fool.

Lelouch gets up he needs to talk to someone and he doesnt know if C.C. can help so he'll settle for being alone. So he walks out the door of his house. Area 11 was about to change and maybe it was time to say a proper goodbye to someone before it was too late. And that was the excuse he used for himself to go to the old student council room.

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"Lelouch!"

"Hello, Milly. Fancy meeting you around here."

Lelouch gives a weak grin. Milly walks to him and gives him a hug.

"How are you and Nunally holding up?"

"She's not doing well, she's still in the process of grieving."

"And you?"

Lelouch cant do it. If he tells her how he's doing he'll be pitied by Milly. A false pity for a murderer and terrorist. Lelouch feels exhausted, his mask is collapsing and he just cant do it. The urge to let it out is to much and Lelouch cant bring himself to stop it.

"Don't feel sorry for me Milly, I dont deserve it. There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Milly looks at Lelouch, concerned for him and he wants to vomit. Lelouch looks at Milly. A friend he's had since the day at Ariea Villa when Rueben and Marianne staged a play date for the two. He remembers the pranks she pulled on him and how much he despised her. Then he remembers that night during the establishment of Area 11, when Nunally was asleep and he allowed himself to cry and break down in front of her and she stayed there and tried valiantly to comfort him. He feels she never moved past it much like he hadn't.

All those parties and hair brained schemes that he went along with. He remembered one day he thought some of them were to pull him out of his eternal funk. And all Lelouch did was put up a mask of exasperation and pretended to enjoy the odd party here and there. He's tired of lying.

"Milly, I killed Euphemia. I am Zero."

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When Milly first saw Lelouch, She thought he was cute. She remembered that adorable outfit he had on and decided that couldn't go unpunished. So She put salt in his tea and frog in his clothes drawer and other juvenile pranks. Her fun loving ways started at a young age.

But when the Ashford house collapsed and they moved to Area 11 to regain their wealth and status in the developing area. Instead she found Lelouch and Nunally. She was so scared when the war started and they were still in Japan. And she became horrified when she found them in Area 11. They were both so week and tired, the Ashfords had to help them. But she was far too late. The adorable little prince boy had became the jaded war survivor.

He cried in front of we a few times, when Nunally was alseep and he didn't have to be strong for the two of them. She was only nine, she didnt know what to do for him so she tried to just be there for him. There for the odd cry or when it all came rushing back. Instead he soon put on a mask. She clawed and tried to distract him from his pain long enough so it would fall off and though it could slip a few times She couldn't fully help him. Milly thought If she couldn't help him maybe Shirley could pull him out, regardless of how it hurt to push the two together, she still did it for him.

And now here is broken again, the prince now a terrorist. Her mind goes into overdrive at the revelation. Lelouch is Zero. Zero killed Clovis, Zero killed Euphemia. All of it for his revenge.

Lelouch collapses to his knees on the floor and Milly goes to hug him, But he stops her. For there was more.

"Stop I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your sympathy. I made Euphemia do it. I made her kill those Japanese.

A look of horror is on Milly's face.

"W-Why?"

Lelouch is almost at tears. He looks at Milly, his geass flashes and he looks down to not repeat his mistake.

"I messed up, Milly." The tears fall. "I missed up real bad."

Milly grabs Lelouch and hugs him. Trying to hold him together.

"What happened? Please tell me Lelouch."

And so the truth came out.