One Step Closer - Unspeakable Acts Part 1

by MissjudyK

Adam's family heads to Nevada for a long summer vacation. He will face simple problems like fitting back into the family after some years apart, and the addition of new brother to Ben's household. But the trip takes a terror-filled turn when events happen that may send Adam's wife and children to the white picket-fenced cemetery on the Ponderosa.

1. Chapter 1

A recap of the One Step Closer series leading to this point:

This series is set in the years after Adam left the Ponderosa. Adam returned to Boston to be with his grandfather, and marry the woman he'd fallen in love with during his college years and never forgotten. They have two children, AJ: Adam Junior (age 9) and Elizabeth (age 6).

Adam is a well-known, prosperous engineer in Boston, and his life changed drastically two years ago after he inherited a fortune and estate from the Boston family he'd become a part of during his student years. The patriarch, Frank Wadsworth had loved Adam and his family so much that he'd named him as an equal heir in his will. In the story leading to this one, the entire Wadsworth family perished in a shipwreck, leaving Adam with an empire.

Adam now heads Wadsworth Enterprises, the business he revitalized when he became the leading expert in harbor engineering. He teaches seminars in the engineering program at Harvard, and hosts student interns at his firm. His wife wrote and published her own series of scholastic materials. After moving to the estate they inherited, she turned their old house into a school for underprivileged children, using her teaching model.

Abel Stoddard has had active roles in the previous stories, but is only mentioned in this.

I've moved Adam far away from his father and brothers, but I always include all the Cartwrights in these stories. This episode is set on the Ponderosa, and will reference a canon character from Adam's past. In a side story, (Reunions) I sent Adam to San Francisco to perform with a classical guitar group. He was stunned when an unexpected visitor came backstage. It was Ruth Halversen from, The Savage. She tells Adam that she'd left the Shoshone after a short time, and had worked at finding Ruth Halversen again. When Adam and Ruth recalled their time together, they realized that they'd both known was that what had seemed perfect on that mountain wouldn't have lasted if they'd left it together. She'd also told him that her father hadn't died as she'd thought, and she'd reunited with him. When she found out that Adam's wife worked in publishing, she requested that he ask Melinda for an honest opinion on a book Ruth had written about her life. That book plays an important part in this story.

This is set in the early 1870's, which means that Ben has added another member to the family. Jamie will be a part of this. You don't have to read any of the other stories to enjoy this one. Thank you.

As we begin, Adam and his family are in a fully decked-out Pullman rail car that was part of inheritance, and headed west for a month-long vacation on the Ponderosa…

One step closer – Unspeakable Acts

Part One – Going Home

Adam sat on the fold-down bunk of the Pullman car and pulled his daughter closer to finish buttoning the back of her dress. "Where's your hairbrush, Lizzy?" he asked the squirming six-year-old.

"I already brushed my hair, Daddy!" Her reply was given with a frustrated eye roll as she turned toward her father.

"The front looks very nice, Princess, but the back looks like a little mouse has a nest in it."

The child giggled and handed her father the implement he'd asked for. "I can't see the back of my head, so I forget it's there."

Melinda was helping their son AJ tame his wavy mop of hair as well, and sent her husband an eye roll similar to her daughter's, along with a knowing grin.

"Why can't I just have braids, Daddy? All the girls at school have them."

Melinda finished with AJ and came over to assist with the tangles. "Your hair is long enough to braid," she said thoughtfully, pulling on the ends of several strands to check the length. Making a part down the back of Elizabeth's hair, she gathered one side and began plaiting. "What do you think?" she asked her husband while holding the ends together. "Please bring the hand mirror, AJ, and we'll let your sister take a look."

Adam stood to examine the child from several angles. "You look very cute, Princess Elizabeth." He directed his next thought to his wife as he winked. "Do we have anything to fasten them? Or do you plan to walk behind her holding them all day?"

"Do we, Mommy?" Lizzy asked as she looked at herself in the mirror. "I like my hair squished together like that."

"I'll cut some ribbons in half…later. Wear it down and pinned back like you normally do today. I'll dampen your hair tomorrow before doing the braids, and that will help them stay in place."

"I want to have them when I see Grampa Ben." The little girl giggled. "I'll go in the house first, and he won't even know it's me!"

Adam had gone to gather lesson supplies for his children, but looked back at his daughter after her comment. It was improbable that his father wouldn't recognize his granddaughter, even in a room full of six-year-old girls. The little girl with the curly mane of hair had her namesake's eyes, her father's hair, and her mother's smile. She was a Hayworth-Stoddard-Cartwright from the top of her head to her toes. And with Lizzy's hair tamed into braids, she'd look even more like her grandmother Elizabeth. Adam was pretty sure his son was also a dead-ringer for him when he'd been nine. He too had had wavy hair, was tall and lean…and quietly studious of everything around him. Melinda had often laughed that she'd done all the work in giving birth to children who looked exactly like their father.

Other thoughts ran quickly through Adam's mind as he waited for his children to be ready for their daily assignments. This trip west for his family had been planned for over two years. They'd meant to come sooner, but the death of the Wadsworth family and becoming the sole heirs to their estate had brought a number of issues and opportunities to handle before they'd been able to absent themselves for a long visit.

AJ and Elizabeth had become very close to their grandfather and uncles when the trio had come East to help after the Wadsworth tragedy. The intervening years had left the children anxious to see everyone again, and they'd been excited to take the long trip in the furnished railcar. The wait had been interminable in some ways, while flying by in others, and he was thankful to be on the way…home.

Adam smiled as he thought about his children seeing the land where he'd grown up and the house he'd lived in for so many years as an adult. The smile grew as he thought about seeing his father and brothers again, and he knew they were just as excited. Hoss had written nearly every week for the last few months, telling of the horses he'd prepared for them and all the places he wanted to take the youngens".

These thoughts burst like a bubble, dropping him back into the activities of the railcar as he felt a pull on the pocket of his robe.

"Do we have to go to that other car, Daddy?" Elizabeth's pout seemed to encompass her entire face as she stared up at her father. "It's summer so we don't need to do no school lessons."

"Judging by the grammar you just used, it's apparent that you do." Adam handed each child a set of the materials he'd assembled. "Besides, this will be fun. Our train is traveling through Nebraska and Wyoming today, and will follow a route similar to the one used by those who pioneered the West. You might even know some people who did that."

When Lizzy's pout turned into a wide-eyed expression of cluelessness, AJ came over and nudged her shoulder. "Dad's talking about himself, Grandpa, and Uncle Hoss. They came this way with the wagon train." The boy's serious look took on a mischievous grin as he continued, "And it was uphill all the way. Dad had to walk alongside the wagon most of the time…barefoot, and it either rained the whole time, or it was hot and miserable the whole time…depending on which version of the story he tells us."

"Both versions are completely true." He winked at his son. "And when I went back East for school with a supply train, it was uphill in that direction too and the weather was just as bad." Adam took his children by the shoulders as he led them to the door. "AJ has a book with a map of the Oregon Trail, so for today's lesson, I want you to locate any towns the train passes that you see on the map. This is an express train, so it won't stop often, but you'll see the names of the cities on signs next to the tracks. I'd also like you to draw a picture of something that interests you and be prepared to explain what drew your attention to it."

"Will we see a wagon train, Daddy?" Lizzy asked

"Most people take trains now," AJ answered, but then looked up at his father. "Don't they, Dad? Trains can make the trip in a week or two compared to the months it took you to cross the country."

"You make a good point, son, but not everyone can afford to move their possessions by train. And the tracks don't get people close enough to where they'll be homesteading, so they'd still have to get a wagon and team. Wagon trains will serve a purpose for a number of years yet." He cupped his daughter's chin. "You might see a wagon out there, especially as we pass through towns. I'm sure it's still a long and treacherous trip. Yet the routes are better-traveled now, and there are places to stop for supplies and a break from the rigors of the trip. When Grandpa, Hoss and I traveled, the only time we got to see others was at cavalry outposts. "

"How long do we have to stay in the other car?" Lizzy's pout had returned.

"Your mother and I need to get dressed and do a little work ourselves. You two like our porter, Martin. He's promised to point out interesting things, and we'll be getting off the train for lunch at Grand Rapids. Martin said we'll be there by noon, and that's less than two hours. After lunch we'll do things together again."

Melinda came to kiss her children goodbye and made sure they got safely to the next car forward. "Be good, and make sure you have Martin help if you need to come back. I don't want you crossing that gap alone."

Their Pullman was always placed near the end of the line of cars so it could be easily transferred from one train to the next. It was one car ahead of the caboose for this straight leg between Omaha and Reno, where the family would disembark to catch a stage to Virginia City. Their Pullman would continue on to the coast without its occupants, and then sit on a side track in San Francisco for a month until the trip home.

The longest part of the journey had been the section between Boston and the Mississippi River, due to the frequent transfer of their car between carriers and tracks in the eastern states. With the car having to ride ahead of the caboose, one innovation Frank Wadsworth had added was an exterior catwalk along the side where there was only one window. The train crew appreciated not having to disturb the occupants of the private car or needing to climb over the top. Frank had also added a shutter on the interior window for privacy.

With AJ and Elizabeth safely transferred, Melinda leaned back against the door and smiled at her husband. "Alone at last," she purred.

"Oh, yeah." Adam began to breathe faster as he thought about what was to come. "I love those two with all my heart, but one can only play so many games of checkers, chess, dominoes, and cards, before the need for a little adult time becomes a necessity."

"Don't forget playing dolls," Melinda added. "Lizzy would rather play dolls with you, and," she giggled, "that's just fine with me. You are so cute when you speak in that falsetto as Miss Wendy."

"Cute? You call me, a most virile representative of manhood, cute? Lock that door, close the shutter, and then come over here and say that to my face."

After taking the steps to ensure their privacy, she walked over to her husband, and stood tightly against him. "You talk tough, mister. Let's see what you've got to back it up." She pulled the end of the bow holding his robe together, slipped his pajamas pants to the floor, and pushed him back onto their bed in one continuous movement. The train jerked, causing Melinda to fall on top of him.

"What a brazen woman you are!" He laughed as he rolled over and slipped his hand under her camisole. "I never tire of touching you, and never stop wanting you. I have waited for this moment the entire trip, so we better make the most of our minutes alone."

Melinda and Adam had been lulled to sleep by the gentle sway of the car and rhythmic clack of the wheels after they'd made love. A knock on the door made them both jump and grab for their robes. They turned to each other and laughed after hearing the porter shout that they were about 20 minutes from their stop.

Adam observed his wife's tousled hair. "Maybe mommy's going to be wearing her hair in braids today. I doubt you'll have enough time to get it put up like you usually do."

"And wouldn't I be cute," Melinda returned with a poke to his stomach. "You're just lucky you have a beard now instead of needing to shave or we'd be in Nevada before you were ready."

"Ain't that the truth, my love." He ran his fingers through the short cropped beard he'd had for over a year. It was dark except for two mirrored patches of white on either side of his chin. "The best thing about it is that it cuts my grooming time to nothing except when I trim it."

Melinda used the bottom of his beard to pull him close for a kiss. "No, the 'best' thing about it is that makes a good handle." She kissed him again before jumping up from the bed. "And you're just lucky that your daughter bore with you through the early phase of your grand experiment until your beard softened enough for her to hug you again."

Adam chuckled. "For a while I thought she might sneak in with a scissors while I was sleeping and cut it off. Now she likes to pet it." He moved to the built-in drawers and pulled out a clean shirt. "Sometimes I think she expects that I'll purr like the barn cats when she does that."

By the time the train began to slow, the fully dressed and coifed Cartwright parents had gathered their children and were waiting by the door for a quick exit. Instead of wearing her hair up, Melinda had pinned it away from her face at the sides and let it flow down her back as she had done when she was younger. Adam leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You look beautiful with your hair that way." He squeezed her gloved hand as he bent to her again. "But then there's never been a time when you haven't looked beautiful, and your hairdo reminds me of why we were short on time."

She touched his cheek, and smiled knowingly.

Two

While the Cartwrights were at lunch, Martin oversaw a cleaning crew from the station in bringing the Pullman to order. Adam returned as they finished and handed each member of the crew a substantial tip for their efforts, with the largest going to the porter, along with thanks for keeping a watchful eye on the children earlier.

"It is my pleasure sir," the older man replied as he removed his hat and stuck the folding cash inside the sweatband. "Your children are respectful and interested. We don't get many cars like yours, but when we do, the people in them aren't usually so…"

Adam grinned. "I understand, Martin. The use of this car is an unexpected blessing for us, and a comfortable way to travel long distances. But we will never allow 'things' to define who we are or how we treat others."

Martin nodded. "I can tell that, Mr. Cartwright."

"Thank you." Adam pointed to the porter's hat. "We used to keep some cash in the sweatband of our hat when we first went to the docks in San Francisco. Pickpockets couldn't grab our hat as easily as they could slip a hand in our pocket. Is there a problem with theft on the train?"

"Not on the express. But be careful at the stations. Thieves will make their way through the rush of people exiting the cars and walk off with the wallets and jewelry of their unsuspecting prey. The railroad is aware of it, and we watch for bystanders who seem to be in the way as passengers disembark. We even know a lot of these thieves by sight, but they're always training replacements." Martin chuckled. "For me, keeping cash in my hat is more a habit from when I worked those same docks you just mentioned."

"I've learned to keep my valuables in an interior, buttoned coat pocket when I travel."

"That's smart Mr. Cartwright." Martin gestured toward the window. "Mrs. Cartwright and the children are back now. If you need anything just step into the forward car and ask. I'll arrange for your table in the dining car tonight."

"Thank you again, Martin. Please let me know when we're nearing North Platte. I'll have telegrams to send from there. How long is that stop?"

"Just 20-minutes. But long enough to send wires and get the children out to stretch their legs."

When the train was on its way again, Adam called AJ and Elizabeth to the table and reviewed their work from earlier. His son's work was neat and organized with a precise drawing of a log cabin he'd seen in a town they'd passed.

"What interested you about this?" Adam asked while scanning the notes the boy had written.

"Isn't Grandpa's house a log cabin? I was thinking it might look like the one I saw, only a little bigger.

Adam chuckled. "When we first settled in the West, Grandpa, Hoss, and I lived in a cabin that was smaller than the one you drew. That was only for a year or two, and then we had a frame house. While I was in Boston for school, Grandpa Ben built the one they still live in. Pa and I designed it with squared timbers instead of logs. Timbers are thick enough to help keep the house cool in the summer and warm during winter, but they can all be cut to shape, and sized for architectural detail." He was going to continue with the description but then smiled. "You'll see what I mean when we get there."

Father and son continued to discuss the other things the boy had seen until Lizzy's sighs got too loud to ignore. Adam looked at his daughter's drawing of a heavy black circle with an oval next to it, and suppressed a smile. "This is…interesting, and done with a lot of zeal, but I'm not sure what it is."

"It's a rock," she said proudly. "With a squirrel next to it."

"I see." Adam knew that his daughter wasn't an artist. She was a storyteller, and he was anxious to hear the yarn she would spin. "Why did you choose those things?"

Melinda had been stowing some fruit they'd bought for an afternoon snack, but on hearing the invitation to her daughter, she hurried over to stand behind her husband, placing her hand on his shoulders. He glanced up to wink at her and laid his hand atop hers as the story began.

"I saw a girl playing outside the cabin that AJ drew. She had some bread and I think she was gonna feed that squirrel. That furry critter came up to her and sat up like it was begging." She stopped to look up at her parents. "Like that dog our groom trained at our stable. It was a smart squirrel."

"A very smart squirrel, indeed," Melinda agreed.

Lizzy frowned and shook her head. "But when the girl held out the bread, it bit her!"

"No!" Adam cried in mock surprise. "That squirrel bit the girl?"

She nodded. "It did, and blood was gushing from her finger."

"What happened then?" Melinda asked as she squeezed her husband's shoulder.

"Her mommy came outside and she put a bandage on it. Then she yelled, 'You bad squirrel. Go sit by that big rock for a while until you learn some manners'."1

Adam had to pinch his lips together to keep from laughing and was finally able to ask, "So what happened to that bad squirrel?"

The little girl shrugged. "I don't know. The train kept on going so I couldn't see, but I think he probly apologized and ate the bread later."

"I bet that's just what happened." Melinda gave each child a kiss on their head along with a hug. "You two did a fine job with that assignment. Now I think your daddy has something to tell you about the area of the country we're passing."

Adam walked over to the windows and motioned for the children to follow. He opened the book of maps they'd used earlier. "I know you both love your Uncle Hoss. He was born very close to where we are right now." He indicated the area on the map of Nebraska. His mother died shortly after that, and she's buried near the town of Ash Hollow. Here," he pointed again, "between North Platte and Cheyenne. I'll remind you when we get closer. But since we'll pass there around the time we'll be having dinner, I think it would be nice if we all took a minute to remember his mother, Inger, now, and think about what a wonderful gift she gave us in your uncle."

"Did Uncle Hoss said she died in a fight with Indians," AJ asked in a questioning tone.

"She was helping the men protect us. Her death made everyone very sad, but knowing her made us all a little better and braver."

"You and Grandpa should write a book about that trip, Dad," AJ stated with conviction.

Adam reached over to tousle the boy's hair. "Our story isn't so different from all the other stories of people who went west. They all did the best they could to survive the journey to a better life. The Cartwright's dream became a profitable reality, but it came with loss and plenty of hard work. That's always true of life."

After a couple hours of playing games, the family was able to get outside at North Platte. AJ and Elizabeth ran the length of the train trying to catch each other, while Adam went to send telegrams and Melinda managed to look around the small store attached to the depot. The Cartwrights didn't believe in bribing their children, but they'd been so good, considering the confined space and long hours of being unable to move freely, that she tried to get them a small surprise or souvenir whenever she could.

The beds in the Pullman had been readied while the family had eaten in the dining car toward the front of the train. The worn out youngsters were soon sleeping soundly, giving Adam and Melinda time to work on their own projects. One addition Adam had made prior to the trip was a folding wooden partition between the two sleeping areas, allowing them to keep lights burning and have quiet conversations without disturbing their children.

When Adam looked up after reading an article in a professional journal, he saw Melinda frowning. "What's wrong?"

She put the manuscript she'd been reading on her lap. "Have you gotten any recent letters from Ruth Halverson that I might have missed reading?"2

Adam's puzzled look matched his wife's. "No. Why do you ask?"

"It's her book. We both read the original version she gave you when the two of you met unexpectedly in San Francisco, and I sent that back with notes of changes she'd have to make. You're aware that I received the revision just before we left and brought it along to read on the trip. I figured I'd be ready to give her feedback when we see her during our side-trip to San Francisco."

He nodded. "This seems like a big lead-in to something I'm not going like hearing."

Melinda's eyes drifted toward the ceiling as she sighed. "I started reading it tonight." She paused for another quick sigh. "I know it was hard when her father died, and she wrote that the book had sat untouched until she relocated to San Francisco. I was happily surprised when it arrived, and anxious to see how she'd done. But…"

"The rewrite isn't good?"

"That's the problem; the book didn't need to be rewritten. It was a wonderful story filled with her innate wisdom and insights. She related the stories her youth, and then of her father leaving; the massacre, and becoming White Buffalo Woman so well as to draw the reader in and keep them involved. She continued to inspire as she shared both her difficulties and joy in becoming Ruth Halversen again. My suggestion was that she hire a writer to help with the grammar; cut down repetition in passages that seemed hard for her to describe, and improve some sentence structure for a smoother read. But the story itself…was perfect. "

"Didn't she find someone to help?"

Melinda closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "Yes. And now the story is written from an entirely different perspective."

Adam put his magazine down and asked warily. "What perspective is that?"

"These are the first sentences of the introduction: This is a story about a time when I was hiding on a 'mountain of the dead', and the man who found me there, and brought me back to life. It should be a love story for the ages, but there is no happy ending…yet."

The left side of Adam's face rose. "What?" He drew back and shook his head. "That contradicts everything she told me and my family about her feelings concerning that time we all had dinner together in San Francisco."

"I wish I had the original draft to compare. Some of it is as I remember, but I can tell you that the introduction is only the start of the changes. I remember that half of the original manuscript was about her life before becoming White Buffalo Woman."

Adam nodded. "It seemed important for her to show how her parents' guidance and the lessons with the Bannock allowed her to survive alone and save herself by becoming White Buffalo Woman.

"This story doesn't even mention her mother. It starts with the broken axle on their wagon and being taken in by the Bannock. I'm only three chapters in and she's already to the raid on the camp. That leaves two-thirds of this book to the Mountain of the Dead. I have an uneasy feeling that most of this is going to be about the few days the two of you were together."

"Would you rather I read it first?" He leaned forward and took her hand. "I was truthful with you about everything that went on with Ruth, but…"

"But, you're concerned that now she may be romanticizing that time?"

"It's possible she began to rethink her past after her father died. Memories can become skewed when a person is grieving. Suddenly every loss you've experienced becomes part of the muddle." Adam squeezed Melinda's hand. "Those days with Ruth were intense, and we only understood what happened…and why, in retrospect. We both concluded that we had to go our separate ways. None of those emotions would have survived if we'd have left that place together."

Melinda rose and went to stare into the black night outside the window.

Adam stayed put, waiting to see what the space between them meant. When he saw her head bow and shoulders begin to rise and fall, he went to her. Melinda didn't cry often. She became emotional over her children and expressed sentimentality with tears, but she didn't use them as a weapon or break down when they disagreed or argued. He knew that what he'd just said had hit a deep, sore spot, and it broke his heart to see that his actions during the years they'd been apart sometimes cut to her soul. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he turned her around, and pulled her close.

They stood holding each other until she slipped her hand into his pocket to withdraw his handkerchief. After dabbing away the remaining tears she said, "There's no need to apologize. It's just that…sometimes…"

"You remember that I gave my heart to others." He felt her head nod against his chest.

Melinda looked into his eyes. "Please don't think I'm angry about that. I understand how others could love you as much as I do. I also know that I was always with you while we were apart. That's why none of those 'others' ever seemed the right match." She sighed deeply. "But if Ruth has decided that time with you should have ended differently, then I am worried."

"Please don't worry. I felt only relief and friendship, not love when I met her again. I told you that she admitted giving me an herb that dulled my pain…and inhibitions. That admission gave clarity to the whirlwind intensity of the feelings I experienced during those days. I was in love with an idea. I wanted to help her as she'd helped me, by reintroducing her to the world she'd given up to hide from those who might hurt her. " He lifted her chin and kissed her gently. "But it wasn't real. You were my reality; my perfect match. I never imagined that I could be so happy or so fully in love until I returned to you."

"I love you too." She kissed him and held him tightly before plucking the manuscript from the bed where she'd tossed it on her way to the window, and put it on the chair. "I am exhausted. Maybe we should turn in too. It's strange how much energy it takes to sit for hours on end. And as for that," she nodded toward the book on the chair, "I will finish reading it. If she's turned this into a romance novel instead of an autobiography, then I'll tell her I can't help her."

"I'll read it when you're done. Why don't I do lessons with the kids again tomorrow so you can finish."

Melinda grinned. "The interesting thing is that a romance novel about White Buffalo Woman and the handsome, wounded cowboy would sell better than the biographical account. And now that I've gotten over my initial surprise…and a tinge of jealousy, I have to wonder... This version is not in Ruth's handwriting. The note accompanying the book was printed instead of written, and it doesn't read like anything Ruth has ever written either. Something is off, and we won't know what that is until we see her."

Adam and Melinda had both finished Ruth's story by the end of the next day, and they were convinced that the manuscript had been taken hostage by the writer who'd helped her. The bothersome flaw in the theory was that Ruth should have agreed to the changes before the document was sent. Whatever was going on, they tabled their concerns until they would take their short trip to the coast. Ben had agreed to host AJ and Lizzy without their parents for a few days, and the parents were anxious for a few childless evenings. Adam had written to secure tickets for a number of shows they wanted to see, and they'd made plans to see Ruth, even before the manuscript had arrived. Melinda had never met the woman from Adam's past, but they'd been corresponding for over two years, and she was honestly anxious for the visit.

Three

The train was scheduled to be in Reno by late morning, allowing Adam's family to catch the noon coach to Virginia City. There would be a stop at Goat Springs for a new team of horses, and if nothing delayed them, they'd be at the Ponderosa for dinner.

"Do we have it all sorted out?" Adam asked his wife as he put the last satchel near the door of their car.

"Our clothes for San Francisco are in the trunk that'll be taken to the hotel when the train gets there." She laughed as she looked at the pile of luggage. "The rest of it is in front of us. I hope Ben brings the big wagon. The last time we visited, we only had a couple of bags."3

"We traveled lighter back then." He grinned. "We didn't have clothes for two children or an extra suitcase stuffed with dolls, another full of books, and one more packed with gifts."

"Remember, you promised you'd get me a cowboy hat and boots, Daddy," Elizabeth reminded him as she found the bag with her dolls and exchanged the one she had for a different one.

"I haven't forgotten, but it'll be too late to look today. We'll go back to town tomorrow." He looked around and then took his children's shoulders while nodding towards his wife. "Pay attention all of you. The train is slowing, so everyone take a last look around. Anything you don't have when we walk out that door will stay here until we head home."

They all made a final search, with Lizzy locating her favorite stuffed animal tucked under a pillow on the couch. She held it tightly and stroked its head. "I'm so glad I found you, Cochise," she told the white knit horse with the black spots sewn on.

"I thought I packed that," Adam told her as he stuffed the toy into the doll case.

"You did, Daddy, but Cochise told me it was dark in there, and he wanted to come back out for a while."

Adam's lips formed a thin line as his chest rose with a silent sigh. Having a daughter was a great joy…and a challenge. He'd always watched over his brothers, but he had little experience with female children other than Peggy, and the girl he and his family had cared for during a custody dispute. With the arrival of his daughter, he'd found himself awash in the world of ribbons, dolls, and changing moods. His little princess could make his heart sing with her happiness, and melt it with her tears. He knew from experience that any sort of reprimand would break Lizzy's heart and leave the usually happy youngster moping. Yet he wanted her to learn from her actions. "It's a shame Cochise almost got left behind. That would have made you very sad. So what might you tell him next time he asks you to come out after he's been packed?"

The child's eyes widened as she chewed her cheek. "I'll say that he's safer where he is, and I'll just talk to him so he doesn't feel so scared."

"Good girl," he said as he knelt and pulled her near to kiss her cheek. He started to laugh as she hugged him and then stroked his beard.

"I like your furry cheeks, Daddy."

"Thank you, Princess." The train was slowing for its approach to the platform, so he gathered everyone by the door, waiting to lead them on the final leg to the Ponderosa.

The Cartwrights arrived at the Overland depot with a fully loaded luggage cart and only minutes to spare. Adam smiled broadly when he saw the man driving the stage. "Hiya, Smitty," he called as the small, older man pulled the red coach to a stop.

The driver made his way down and came to shake Adam's hand, while giving him a thorough looking over. "While I'll be dadburned, if it ain't Adam Cartwright. I almost didn't recognize you with that chin growth." Smitty looked past Adam to the woman and children standing behind his frequent fare from the past. "I wondered if I'd ever see you again. Them old codgers in Virginia City said you'd died in a fall, but yer Pa told me you'd gone to Boston and got hitched."

Adam laughed. "That's not the first time I've heard that I died." He motioned his family forward. "Smitty, this is my wife, Melinda, and our two children, AJ, and Elizabeth. We'll be riding to Virginia City with you today."

The older man shook hands with Melinda and both children. "I'll be happy as a hog in mud to have you all aboard. There's just one thing." Smitty motioned Adam and Melinda closer and spoke quietly. "All but one of my passengers are leavin' for connections here, exceptin'…" He nodded toward a large woman wearing an overly-ruffled dress with a large purse and parasol wedged under her arm, trying to maneuver out the small door. "Evangeline is with me today. She's a good hearted, tender woman who makes dolls that sell all over the world, but with her size, and all she's got along on the ride, she takes up a good part of the bench. I'm afraid you'll be a little cramped."

Adam went over to assist the station man helping Evangeline to the ground.

Melinda watched with interest as the older woman chattered away as they got her safely situated. She'd seen other women of this stature fade into themselves with embarrassment at needing help. But Evangeline was smiling, and whatever she was saying, made her husband and the stagehand laugh heartily. "It seems like she's a lot of fun," she said, turning to Smitty. "I can sit with her, and Adam can have the other bench with the children."

Smitty smiled at Adam when he returned. "Yer wife made a good suggestion of how you can all fit, but I might have a different idea if you and yer boy would be willin'."

"We'd keep you company up top?" Adam asked as he motioned AJ nearer. "Would you like to see what it's like to drive a stagecoach?"

"Yer Pa always sat up there when he could," Smitty confided to the boy. "Said he liked the open space instead of sitting on people's laps down below."

"Can I Mama?" the youngster asked?

Melinda's stern look at her husband made it clear she wasn't happy about the arrangement, but Adam gave her a hug. "It's perfectly safe. Smitty wouldn't offer if he thought differently."

Smitty was smiling ear-to-ear. "I'd be thankful for the company, ma'am, and Adam's right. I'm not carryin' mail or money. Besides," he dropped his voice as he leaned forward. "Evangeline will be gettin' off at Goat Springs. Her husband runs that station now. She rides the stage for free every month or two to visit her daughter's family near Stockton. You can all ride down below after that."

"You've convinced me," Melinda said as her smiled returned. "Just don't make it sound like too much fun or Lizzy will want to be up there too." She looked over at their daughter who was watching the station manager load their luggage, pointing out which piece held her dolls and needed special care.

Adam laughed. "You're probably right about that. If she asks, tell her that it's very windy up there, and it would spoil her braids before she gets to see Grandpa Ben and ruin her surprise. Maybe we'll have Smitty on the way home, and she can sit up top for a few miles then."

The stage was pulling into Virginia City when Adam pointed out the window. "It looks like everyone came to meet us. I recognize our wagon in front of the general store, and Cochise and Chubby were tied up next to it."

The two male Cartwrights had rejoined the ladies in the coach at Goat Springs. Although AJ was normally reserved around strangers, he'd talked constantly to the seasoned driver, asking Smitty questions about everything they passed, and looking over at his father with an awed expression.

Lizzy had reported that Miss 'Vangeline was really nice, and had showed her a doll she was making. The little girl's had eyes rounded to dark circles as she'd told her father and brother, "Vangeline is going to make one that looks like me, and I'll get it on the way home."

The little girl became animated as the stage stopped. "Remember, Daddy, I get to come out last, so I can surprise Grandpa."

"Yes, Princess, we have it all planned out." Adam knew he had to be the first one out of the coach so he could get his father aside and set up his daughter's grand exit.

The coach came to a stop, and the door was opened from the outside. Adam made his way out, and shook hands with his brothers and father before asking Hoss to assist Melinda while he tugged Ben away from the others.

"What are you doing, son?" he asked as he looked longingly toward the coach and its exiting occupants.

"You can go right back, Dad. It's just that when Lizzy comes out, you have to pretend you don't know her. Play along." His father squinted at him, and then laughed. "Oh, and the answer is braids, if she asks."

"So I don't know my granddaughter, you have a beard, and you're calling me, Dad? This is going to be an interesting visit." Ben shook his head and gave Adam a sturdy hug before going back to greet Melinda and AJ. When he looked up at the coach, he saw Lizzy standing in the doorway, and glanced back at his oldest son, sending him a wink. "Did you leave Elizabeth in Boston? There's a little girl on the stage, but she must be here to visit someone else."

Lizzy's face lit with a smile. "It's me, Grandpa!" she shouted before jumping into his arms. "I knew you wouldn't recognize me."

Ben turned her face side-to-side. "Why sure enough, it is my Princess Elizabeth. You sure fooled me with those pigtails."

"They are not pigtails, Grandpa," she scolded. "They're braids."

Ben handed his granddaughter to Joe, and went to his grandson. "I'm assuming you were in on the big ruse?" he said quietly before getting down on one knee and pulling the boy to him. "Thank you for waiting and not spoiling your sister's surprise." His embrace tightened. "I have missed you with my whole heart, son."

"I missed you too, Grandpa, and can't wait to see your ranch. I want to go riding and fishing and exploring." The child left a kiss on his grandfather's cheek as the two released their hug, and he turned to Hoss. "Dad said he saw Chubby when we came in to town. Can I meet him now? I feel like I've known him and Cochise forever."

Hoss sniffed and wiped his shirtsleeve across his nose before nudging his younger brother, and looking towards his older brother and sister-in-law. "Joe and I will be introducin' these sprouts to our horses while you get the luggage."

Paul Martin ran up before Hoss and Joe walked away. "I thought that was your stage," he said to Adam as he reached for his hand. "Say, that chin growth makes you look pretty distinguished. Just remember that we all knew you before you were a prominent Eastern businessman." He gave Melinda a peck on the cheek along with her handshake. "You are as beautiful as ever. Why on earth you stay married to that hard-headed Yankee is beyond me." He stopped abruptly when he noticed the little girl in Joe's arms, and the tall boy standing by Hoss. "These are your children?"

Adam made the introductions with AJ shaking the doctor's hand, while Lizzy leaned over for a hug.

Roy Coffee was the next to arrive, and similar introductions were made. When the uncles took their charges away, Roy clasped Adam's hand. "You got yerself some beautiful children there, Mr. Cartwright. Your Pa talks about them all the time, but I'm glad I finally got a chance to meet them." He turned to Melinda. "You hear people talk about bein' blessed, and I can see that's true of the two of you. Welcome back to Virginia City."

Melinda smiled warmly as she gave Roy a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Roy. It's good to be back."

Ben sat in the second seat of the buckboard with his grandchildren while Adam drove the wagon home. Melinda laid her hand on her husband's knee and smiled when he looked over at her. "I'm glad you still know how to handle this thing," she teased. "I saw your surprised look when Ben said he wanted to ride with the kids. You ride horses all the time at home, but you're usually chauffeured when you go out in a buggy or wagon."

"You don't forget some things, my dear. Driving a wagon is as easy as falling off a log."

"That explains it." She laughed before adding, "I think we drove over several of those logs already, and I presume you're making a game out of hitting every rut and pothole."

"You caught on to that, did you?" Adam glanced over his shoulder as the wagon hit another hole and bounced. "Listen to those two. Pa will have an entire recap of the two years since they saw him before we reach the house."

"It is wonderful to hear their excitement. My parents live closer and come to see us more, but I do think our children feel closer to your father and brothers."

"I think that might be an absence thing. Since they don't see them often, their memories of Hoss, Joe, and my dad are kept in a special place where everything is perfect. Your Mom stayed with us while you and I were working on the school and making changes at my office. She took over, making them do their chores and homework, and getting to bed and off to school on time. She couldn't be the fun grandparent like Pa has always been to them." He grinned at her. "They may get a better idea of what he's like when they spend time with him…at his house. He'll give them a lot of leeway, but he'll set them straight if they cross any lines."

The ranch house began to take shape in the distance, making Melinda catch her breath. "I still get goosebumps when I see that," she said as she pointed toward the buildings. "It seems to rise out of the ground like magic."

"I am anxious to see what AJ thinks of his grandpa's 'log cabin'."

Adam pulled the wagon into the yard and took a quick look toward the back bench. He grinned when he saw AJ's mouth drop open as he got his first good look at the house. "So what do you think, son?"

"Wow, Dad. It's not like I pictured." He thought a moment, and turned to his grandfather. "Dad says there's a cabin in the hills where you lived at first. Can we go see that?"

Ben smiled while wrapping his arm around the boy. "Your uncles have a lot of outings planned, but we'll see if we can add that in."

Hoss and Little Joe had ridden ahead to alert Hop Sing to their pending arrival, and strolled out of the house to join the rest.

"I'm so glad I don't have to ride in no more wagons or trains," Lizzy declared as she let Joe help her down. She pointed to Cochise and started to pull her uncle toward the spotted pony. "Can I sit on him now?"

Joe went with her and lifted her into the saddle. "I thought you were tired of riding, yet here you are doing just that again."

"This is different," she said seriously. "I've waited my whole life to do this." She leaned over to whisper. "I still want a spotted horse, Uncle Joe. Maybe Daddy will let me bring one home with us."

Adam looked back as he neared the house and saw each of his children sitting on their favorite uncles' horse. "C'mon you youngens," he called to them. "You need to change clothes before you play."

Lizzy reached toward Joe for a lift down, while AJ used the stirrups like a pro and dropped the remaining distance. The boy's gaze drifted over to the corral. "Are the horses we'll be using in there, Uncle Hoss?"

"They sure are. Once you're in play clothes I'll introduce you."

Hop Sing was waiting inside and came forward as Adam entered. "Welcome home Mr. Adam and Missus Melinda. I am pleased for your visit." He shook hands while leaning to peer around them.

Adam stepped aside so his old friend could see the children running towards the house. "Why do I get the feeling you're more excited about seeing someone besides me?" He teased.

"Not true. Hop Sing very happy to see you, but curious about others have not met."

Melinda stopped her daughter as she rushed inside. "Elizabeth, this is Hop Sing."

Hop Sing dropped down one knee to be at eye level with the little girl. "You are most beautiful child," he said as he took her hand. "Hop Sing most pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Elizabeth."

"Shay, shay, Mr. Hop," she said politely, using the Chinese words for thank you as she'd been taught. "Everybody calls me Lizzy." Her smile was as large as her eyes as she stretched to see the length of hair that was curled over the cook's shoulder. She walked around him, and said. "I like your braid, Mr. Hop. I have braids too." She indicated her own hair. "But mine aren't so long."

Adam brought AJ over and introduced him as well. Hop Sing stood again and bowed his head slightly. "You look much like father did. Is good to meet you." He looked up at the parents and asked, "Will be all right to take children in kitchen? Supper not for some time and I have fresh cookies."

"Just one," Adam cautioned as he watched the three head toward the cook's domain.

Ben waited until Hop Sing was out of sight. "I think he's been more excited for you to come than we were. When I asked him why, he told me it was high-time there were children in the house." He laughed quietly. "And then he told your brothers to hurry up; find wives and have babies."

Melinda and Adam laughed as well with Adam adding, "He's right about that. With all the engagements Joe's been through I thought sure one of them would have gotten him to the altar."

Their conversation stopped when Joe and Hoss came through the door, each carrying several bags. "Where do you want all this?" Joe asked as he lowered his cases to the floor.

The couple made quick work of separating the bags by owner. "We just need to know who's staying where and we can get this put away."

"We've made a few changes," Ben said as he pointed to the French doors at the side of the room near his desk. "We made the original bunkhouse out there into two guest room. Your brother's will stay there. We have so many hired hands for the cattle and timber operations that we put up several new bunkhouses farther away from the house. Each crew is assigned to one so they get to know each other pretty well."

"I can see where they'd like having more space between the main house and where they are," Adam noted with a smile. "So we'll be upstairs?"

Be shook his head. "Why don't you and Melinda use your room and perhaps the children would like to stay in their favorite uncle's room, so you'll be nearby if there are any problems their first few nights in a strange house."

"There's someone missing," Adam said after he'd listened to the recital of rooms and occupants. "Where does Jamie stay?" His forehead wrinkled in thought. "I thought he'd be at the house when we got here."

"He said he'd feel more comfortable joining us later for supper," Ben explained. "I had to agree that it might be difficult getting caught in the rush of the initial reunion." He stopped to think and laughed. "Tp answer your question; he uses the other room upstairs." Ben motioned his family over to the sitting area, and laughed again as all three sons found a furniture arm to perch on. "Some things never change," he commented while shaking his head. "I'm surprised the arms of our chairs have held up as long as they have with you three sitting on them all the time."

Melinda pointed to the low table in front of the hearth. "Maybe you and I should sit there, Ben. The upholstery will last forever that way."

Ben shook his head and chuckled before taking a serious tone. "As long as the children are occupied, I'd like to talk about Jamie."

"Are there things we need to be aware of or subjects we should stay away from?" Adam asked.

A wave of Ben's hand dismissed his son's worry. "I told you everything about him in my letters so you'd know the whole story before I adopted him."

Adam grinned. "So if I were against the adoption, you wouldn't have proceeded?"

Ben returned the grin. "I didn't say that. You know that I make up my own mind."

"From the tone of your letters, I assumed everything was going fine and he was acclimating to his new life."

Hoss joined the conversation. "Jamie ain't no trouble maker, but that don't mean he don't get into some trouble now and again. And," he glanced at his father to gain his endorsement of what he'd just said. "He seems to be happy here."

"At first, whenever he'd do something wrong, we'd find him sneaking down the steps with his satchel, trying to run off," Joe added.

"Was he that opposed to living here at the beginning?" Melinda asked.

Ben's sigh brought the attention back to him. "I think it was more that people hadn't been kind to him in the past because of his father's business. He had trouble trusting that we'd want him around when he made mistakes."

Adam interrupted, "Did you say his father was a rainmaker?" He received a nod from his father. "It couldn't have been an easy life or one where there was a lot of trust shown toward them. I imagine that he and his father did a lot of sneaking away when things didn't go to plan."

"You hit the nail on the head, Adam," Ben looked toward the kitchen to make sure no one was coming. "What I found interesting was that everyone wanted to believe that Jamie's methods would work here. There was excitement and hope, and the one with the most hope was Jamie. He kept running his father's formulas to his own exhaustion. As time elapsed without results, people turned on him." He shook his head. "Yet we often give our faith to unproven ideas without seeking to injure or destroy the person we trusted in. Doctors can't always cure, and preachers can't always guarantee an answer to our prayers. But in Jamie's case they pushed him around and destroyed his possessions."

Adam's face drew together in puzzlement. "Didn't you say it rained?"

A nod. "But by then they'd had already decided that he was a flimflammer. I believe the rain was coincidence or perhaps a blessing for his labors, but not a matter of science."

Melinda rose from her perch to stand next to Adam. "I'm surprised he came with you so easily, Ben. It sounds like he was pretty independent, and if he thought his work produced the rain then I'd have thought he'd want to go on doing it."

"I think he was tired: tired of trying to be a man at age 14, and tired of living on his own while trying to make miracles. He lived a fearful and wearing life; we gave him a different choice."

"I have the same thought as my wife," Adam said as he smiled knowingly, "except I know you better than she does. What did you tell this young man to get him to leave that life behind? I know that the Ponderosa is beautiful, and who wouldn't want you as their father," he teased. "But I know you made some a deal to tip the scales for him."

Ben's cheeks pinked. "You do know me well. He came along at first because his wagon had been damaged, and his father's notebook had been destroyed. When he began to relax in being here, I asked him to explain the science behind how he 'manipulated the atmosphere,' and he had to admit that his father had developed the formula by trial and error. I promised him that he could do whatever he wanted later, but he should be a boy for now. He could catch up on his education and learn other skills. I also promised that I'd send him to college if he wanted, and then he could prove that his father's theories were sound. He liked that." Ben stopped and smiled. "I was so taken with his faith and dedication that I had to step in and show a little faith in him."

"So why are we having this powwow?" Adam asked.

The blush returned. "I wanted to be sure that you were as positive about this as you seemed in your letters…before Jamie gets here."

Adam's brows rose as he frowned. "I would have been honest, Pa. You know that. I was proud that you took him under your wing, and roof."

"Thank you, son. My only other request is that you be kindly in your initial interactions. Jamie speaks his mind, and it sometimes sounds argumentative. I think it's still a reaction from always having to prove or defend himself in the past."

"I'll be as nice to him as I am to my other two brothers." The oldest son grinned as he looked from Hoss to Joe.

Hoss laughed. "If that's the case, then Jamie'll probably want to drown ya in the water trough soon enough. But just with like me and Joe, he'll be doin' it out'a love fer ya."

Adam was trying to give a smart comeback when his children ran in from the kitchen.

Lizzy motioned for her mother to bend down, and she turned Melinda's face to look directly at her. "Mr. Hop Sing said we could call him Hop Sing, without no Mr. ahead of it," Lizzy reported as she licked at the milk mustache on her upper lip. "He makes good cookies too."

Adam joined his wife and daughter, pulling out his handkerchief to dry the area above her lip from her tongue washing, and then brushed the cookie crumbs from her cheeks. He winked at his father. "Remember how this little girl used to be so shy? Moving to the estate with so many people around was a shock for her. Then she started school and had to learn to be with other kids as well. It took her a while to feel comfortable with all the changes, but she's doing fine. Kids adapt when given the chance. Jamie will be fine too."

He kissed Lizzy's head, and called his son over. "Do you like Hop Sing's cookies too?" The boy nodded, but his eyes drifted towards the door. "I suppose you're just anxious to get outside and check out the lay of the land?"

"Could I, Dad?"

Adam directed each child to grab a bag from the luggage pile on the floor near the door. "Your play clothes are in those. Head up the steps and we'll show you where to go."

The other two brothers helped gather the remaining cases. As they started the climb, Joe turned back toward his oldest brother. "When did you stop cuttin' your whiskers, Adam? I wasn't expecting a beard."

"I'm guessing I stopped shaving about the same time you stopped cutting your hair. Did they close all the barber shops in Virginia City?"

Joe was about to respond when his niece spoke from further up the steps. "Don't tease Uncle Joe, Daddy. If he grows his hair long enough, he can wear braids just like me and Hop Sing!"

Hoss was bringing up the rear of the luggage procession, and nudged Adam's leg with a case as he chuckled. "Now if that don't get Joe to the barber first thing tomorrow, ain't nothin' will."

Four

Adam and Melinda woke before sunrise. They'd tried to talk about the homecoming as they'd settled into bed for the night, but the long day had taken their energy and they'd drifted off immediately. Their children had been so exhausted that they'd been asleep on their feet, and hadn't awoken during the night.

After a loud, long yawn, Adam pulled his wife near and kissed her forehead. "There's no need to hurry, my love. I can't hear anyone moving around." He rose up on his elbows to check out the amount of daylight sifting through the bedroom curtains. "It's still dark out there, so it can't even be 5 AM.

"I bet Hop Sing is up and cooking." Melinda draped her arm across her husband's chest. "But I'm too comfortable right now to prove that theory."

"If we keep our voices low, we should be able to talk without disturbing anyone."

Melinda chuckled. "As thick as these walls and doors are, I think we can talk as loudly as we'd care to without disturbing anyone."

"So what do you think of Jamie?" he asked.

"He's a typical 15 year-old. I know he's been a Cartwright for a year, but he's not wearing that in complete comfort yet. Maybe his uneasiness is more pronounced with you being here."

"I hope he doesn't think he has to impress me. Pa wanted to give the boy a chance, and that's all that should matter." He quieted as he thought. "He was silent at dinner and looked like he was eating lemons." He chuckled softly. "But this can't be easy for him, and he's observing rather than participating."

She pushed up to see Adam's reaction to her next comment. "I wonder how he's doing in school. He seems an intelligent young man, as evidenced by his ability to work with those chemicals and run a business after his father died. Yet it's one thing to do what's familiar, and another to catch up in history, arithmetic, and English when you haven't been given the solid foundation of formal education. Ben said he's doing fine, but I'm betting he's had some trouble. One blessing is that it has given him a source for friendship with others his own age."

"I agree; but to change the subject…," he chuckled at his pun. "I think Pa looks good—not really any older than when he was in Boston a few years ago."

"Maybe having a youngster in the house is as good for him as it is for Jamie."

"You're right." He paused and started to chuckle again. "I didn't expect to see Joe with such long hair. We always kept our hair cut when I was home."

"There's some gray in those curls already. I'm betting Joe got tired of being, 'Little Joe'. He's got a 'baby face' and the long hair ages him." This time Melinda quieted before she sighed. "I was most surprised by Hoss."

"If you mean the weight gain…it's hard not to notice. He's made a few self-deprecating statements about it already. Last night, when he took a third helping of everything, he said that if he kept eating so much, he'd need to ride a draft horse instead of breaking Chubby's back. I saw Pa cringe, but I assume he doesn't feel he can interfere. Hoss has always struggled with his weight. He'd put it on over winter, and lose it with hard work in the summer. But this is different. I'd say he's at least 50 pounds heavier than two years ago."

"It's more than the weight though," Melinda whispered as she laid her hand against Adam's cheek. "I'm sure you saw it too."

"He was so excited to see us, especially the kids, but there were many times he looked… I'm not sure what to call it."

"Melancholy?" she provided. "It's like he's carrying a weight on his shoulders as heavy as what he's added to his frame."

"That's eloquently put, my love, and completely accurate."

"What I see is a symptom; what I don't know is the cause."

Adam breathed deeply. "I think I might know." He watched her brows come together as she thought. "You've read all his letters. What's his recurring thought?"

She nodded and smiled. "He spends a good portion of each telling us how fortunate we are to have each other and our children."

"And each of his prompts to appreciate what we have is followed by his sincere wish to have the same thing."

"Why would that make him unhappy instead of encouraged?"

"Hoss is six years younger than I am, and I'm betting he's measuring things by that gap."

She shook her head. "I don't understand."

"Hoss never compared himself to me or Joe because he was comfortable with who he was. He never felt it necessary to change the way he spoke, dressed or acted to fit in better. He always did what he did best, and that was more than good enough. When it came to love, we all had failures and setbacks, but I think they were worse for Hoss because he didn't think he had as many options. He's always been shy about his looks, and if a pretty woman seemed to care for him, he gave his all and fell hard. Unfortunately, many of them took advantage of his full wallet or good and forgiving nature. He stayed hopeful, in some part because I was older than him, and I was just as alone. He said often that as long as I remained single even with all my 'assets', then he wouldn't worry about a few setbacks on his part. But I finally got smart; went back for you, and accepted your proposal." He grinned at her.

Her brows drew together. "Was he jealous about that?"

"No." He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Hoss was happy for us, but it started a clock ticking for him. I was in my mid-thirties when we married, and he thought he'd surely find someone by the time he got to the same age. More than ten years have slid past without that happening. I suspect it's wearing on him."

"So he eats to forget that he's feeling a little hopeless?"

"Food makes no judgments and can fill a hunger that isn't physical. I think weight comes on more easily when a soul is in turmoil. We become less active when our minds are troubled, and that can add pounds even when we don't consume more." He choked out a laugh. "I hate to admit it, but I put on a few pounds the last years I was home. It came off pretty fast once I made the decision to go back to Boston, because I had a purpose driving me again."

She repositioned herself to kiss him deeply. "That was a lovely admission, Mr. Cartwright. You must be happy, because you haven't gained an ounce since we've been together."

"I am happy, so thank you for keeping me thin."

"Maybe it's the exercise we get every morning." She ran her hand down his leg for emphasis, and then laughed. "I know…we should behave here since someone could come to the door or hear us through these thick walls. But you just wait until we get to San Francisco. I'll have you feeling like an overcooked noodle when I'm through with you."

"Is that a promise?" He winked, pulling her back for another kiss.

She sighed, thinking about the conversation they'd been having before getting sidetracked. "Maybe for Hoss, it's just a case of the proverb that good things come to those who wait."

"I hope it isn't more as Violet Fane noted:

'Ah, all things come to those who wait,'
(I say these words to make me glad),
But something answers soft and sad,
'They come, but often come too late.'"

She punched him gently in the stomach. "Let's keep positive. I know Hoss will be happy while we're here, but maybe you can have a brotherly talk with him before we leave?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Shame on you. You can see he's in pain, but won't offer a word of encouragement?"

"Being in pain and wanting others to offer advice about it are two far different things." He could see Melinda's pursed lips and the set of her eyes, indicating her protective nature toward her brother-in-law. "I'll say something if the opportunity arises, but not if it doesn't. You can stop giving me your evil eye about this. I will not intrude."

The couple drifted back to sleep for an hour after their conversation, and the sun was up by the time they were dressed and ready to go downstairs. They peeked into Hoss's room to find AJ getting dressed. After making sure he had the right clothes to wear, they checked in Joe's room, and found it vacant.

Adam held Melinda's hand as they headed down the stairway, drawing her to a stop at the landing. Ben was sitting in his usual spot sipping coffee, while their daughter was telling him a story about the chickens she'd been "talking to" while helping Hop Sing gather eggs for breakfast. Adam couldn't hear every word, but enough to figure that the hens had given her plenty of advice on where to look.

What made the scene even more endearing was that while the little girl was still in her nightgown, she was wearing the boots and hat her grandfather had left in her room as a surprise welcome gift. Adam and Melinda had allowed her to wear the boots to dinner, but had to insist she take them off for bed. Her braids had come out during the night, creating a cloud of curls seeming to float the hat above her head.

Neither child nor grandfather seemed to notice their arrival until Adam leaned down to kiss Lizzy's cheek. His father looked up at him with a gentle smile, and then back to his granddaughter who hadn't stopped talking more than to offer a "g'morning Mommy and Daddy."

Adam left his wife at the table, grabbed the coffee pot, and headed into the kitchen for a refill. Hop Sing was removing a pan of biscuits from the oven when he entered. "Good morning," he offered his old friend. "From the story being told out there, I assume my daughter was up before anyone else, and became your sidekick in the henhouse?"

The cook nodded, but busied himself with sliding the browned biscuits onto a serving dish.

The silence of the normally talkative cook made Adam wary. "I apologize if she was in the way or caused problems. I would have come down if I'd have heard her." He chuckled. "I'm surprised I didn't. She doesn't know how to walk in those boots and she's pretty heavy-footed."

"She no problem, Mr. Adam. She…" Hop Sing fell silent and turned away.

Thoughts of what his child might have said or done to offend, made Adam's heart pound. Lizzy was a force. She blew in like a warm south wind, and usually brought joy to anyone around her. But Hop Sing was from a culture of deep honor, and her exuberance might be seen as disrespectful. The concerned father moved in front of this man with whom he'd shared so many moments. "Tell me what she did, and I'll have a talk with her…to explain why it was incorrect and how she must behave."

Hop Sing's eyes flew open. "She do nothing wrong! Is most pleasant having her near. But also brings sadness to know she leave again. Miss Lizzy…" He stopped to sniff and take a deep breath. "Miss Lizzy is like sunshine in house where only dark clouds for so long. Son AJ is thoughtful, respectful, and patient with little sister; just like you with brothers. Bring good memories of early times on Ponderosa."

"Thank you." Adam held the cook's shoulders, and glanced around to make sure no one was coming. "There are clouds in this house?"

A quick nod. "Should not say, but do anyway. Father and brothers fine sometimes, but stuck. New son is nice boy, but carry much sad memories."

Another glance to ensure their privacy. "Explain, stuck, Hop Sing."

"I say too much. Not my place."

"I think I know what you mean," Adam said sincerely. "Especially Hoss."

Hop Sing nodded vigorously. Mista Hoss need more than father's ranch, I think. But Little Joe too. Hop Sing hope you here with family make them get off bottoms and marry too."

Adam snorted into a laugh. "I agree, Hop Sing. A few grandkids running around this house would make everyone happy."

"Ahem." Both men turned when Melinda cleared her throat. "I was wondering if you had to grow and harvest that coffee, Adam," she teased. "As our daughter would say, 'I've been waiting 'my whole life' for you to come back with it.

"So sorry, my dear." Adam's blush was visible across the room. "Hop Sing and I were discussing how we need to get my brothers off their butts and have families of their own."

She walked over to the pair and swatted Adam's arm. "Didn't you just tell me that you can't intrude in these private things?"

"We're not saying anything to them. Hop Sing figures that having our kids around ought to give them a nudge in the right direction." Adam smiled at his comrade.

Hop Sing added, "And if they not learn from nudge, then I smack them in head with frying pan."

The rest of the family was at the table when Adam and Melinda returned from the kitchen, and Hop Sing began bringing out the bowls of food he'd been keeping warm. After talking about plans for the day, Ben said, "We didn't have much time to catch up yesterday. How's your school doing, Melinda?"

"I've kept you up to date with most of it in my letters," she began. "It took several months to get the plans approved for the building additions, but everything is done now and the two houses with the connection are working perfectly. Abel and Sadie have adjusted to living in the country with us, but they both come into town with me every day. Sadie cooks lunch, and Abel visits with his friends and tells stories to the children before the rest period. They love him."

"How many kids you got in class now?" Hoss asked.

"I started with the first twelve even while building was going on. This last year I was able to find eight more who could handle going straight into first grade class and added 20 into the preparatory class. I'll be doing interviews as soon as we return this summer, and then we'll have children in three grade levels."

"How do the kids get there?" The question came from Joe. "It sounds like they live away a bit and they'd stop coming when the weather got bad."

"Melinda knew that would be a problem," Adam answered. "We rent two large carriages that transport them to and from a central spot near their homes to ensure attendance." He laughed as he thought further. "Since they hold about 20 children, I guess we'll have to add another route this fall."

Ben's eyebrows rose. "I don't recall you mentioning that, but it's an excellent idea. I don't suppose it costs any more than it would to run a school with no pupils."

"Pa told me about your school, Melinda." All heads turned to the speaker on the far side of the table. Jamie continued, "Do AJ and Lizzy go there?"

A quick look was passed between Adam and Melinda, as Ben offered, "They attend a private school in Boston."

Jamie's next comment was given matter-of-factly. "But if this school you're all talking about is so good, then why don't their own kids go there?"

Melinda nodded at Ben, letting him know that she would handle it. "The school we started is for children who wouldn't do well in a regular school just yet. They come from families where school isn't a priority because children are needed to work or help at home. These students need help to get them into a mindset of learning. AJ and Lizzy are far ahead of where my students are right now."

"So why do their parents let them go if they need them home?" The young man asked further.

"That's a very good question. I work with people who provide services to neighborhoods where schools are few, and poorly managed. These folks give us the names of families to talk to. Not everyone we approach will want to participate, but I believe that most parents desire a better life for their children. We had to rethink our offer and decided to provide uniforms and transportation, have a nutritious lunch each day, and furnish their supplies. That way there's no financial burden on the family. When the parents ensure that the children are in class and do their lessons, they receive a stipend every three months as an incentive."

Jamie chewed his lip. "Why don't you offer the money up front?"

"It's meant as a reward rather than a bribe, and it's not cash. We give families a choice of vouchers to pay their housing costs or store certificates to use for food and clothing. It's making a difference in the lives of those families. Our hope is that the money and education will continue to make their lives better."

There was an edge in the boy's final question. "So, what I'm hearing is that your kids are too good to go to school with a bunch of dummies whose parents can't afford no better?"

Ben's shocked, "Jamie!" sent the boy slouching deep in his chair.

AJ's voice rose in the silence after the admonition. "Lizzy went to Mom's school the first year it was open. But I'll be going into eighth grade this fall, and my sister will be in fourth, so we're farther along than what's offered there right now." His eyes locked onto those of the boy across the table. "Or do you think we should go back to first and second grade to prove that we're not snobs?"

Adam laid a hand on his son's shoulder, as he watched Jamie's reaction. He'd recognized the challenge issued by the newcomer to their family, and was secretly pleased with AJ's response. He'd seen Jamie's eyes flash as he'd stiffened and then relaxed.

AJ understood his father's wordless message. "I'm sorry, Jamie. I didn't mean that quite the way it came out. Please excuse me if I seemed rude."

Ben waited for a response from his adopted son, and receiving none, said, "How about you, son, have you nothing to say?"

Jamie stared at Ben, his lip raised in the hint of a snarl, but he finally looked back across the table. "I'm sorry too. You should go to whatever school you want."

Hoss had stood as Jamie's apology was being issued, and redirected everyone's attention. "It looks like most a you all got the right duds on for a ride, so those of us who's ready will head out and saddle up." He looked at his older brother. "I done introduced your sprouts to the horses they'll be using while they're here, but since we're goin' a little further on today, I got a surprise for you to use with Lizzy."

"I love surprises, as long as I know what they are!" Elizabeth shouted. "Please tell me what it is, Uncle Hoss, or I'll bust."

"It won't be a surprise if you already know what it is. Yer mama will get you dressed, and by then we'll be ready for ya."

Melinda and her daughter headed upstairs to change, while the men congregated by the door to gather their holsters and hats. AJ stopped by the bowl of fruit on the table in the living area.

"Grandpa, may I take an apple for my horse? He'll get to know me better if I give him a treat."

"That's a good idea. Get a bag of them to treat all the horses when we stop later. They don't need to be the good ones. Why don't you and Jamie go out through the kitchen and have Hop Sing give you the ones he sets aside for cooking."

Jamie's lip pulled up, making him look like he bitten into a particularly sour apple as he silently mimicked what AJ had said. He was still shaking his head, but he waited until the rest of the men were out the door before saying, "So it appears I'll be babysitting you while you're here. Pa must be afraid you'll get lost walking through the kitchen."

AJ kept a straight face as he shrugged. "Maybe he sent me along so you won't get lost."

The older boy stopped, and then laughed. "You do talk up for yourself, kid." His nose drew upward. "How old are you? I thought Pa said you were nine, but you said you're going into eighth grade. That'd make you closer to twelve or thirteen, wouldn't it?"

"I'm nine." AJ snickered. "But you met my parents. Dad teaches at Harvard and my mom runs a school using a program she developed. They have my sister and me working on lessons all summer, and everything we do ends up being a 'learning opportunity' as they call it. There'd be something wrong if we weren't ahead."

"It sounds hard. I wouldn't want to put all that time into schoolin'."

"It's not bad. Mom figured out a way to teach kids without drumming things into them, at least not at first. She makes it fun, and that's what her school is like. It's how she started with us too. Now we have to learn and memorize more from books."

Jamie shook his head again. "Well, you sure don't talk or act like any nine-year-old I know."

"Uncle Hoss told me they said the same thing about my dad when he was a kid."

By the time the boys came out with the apples, Lizzy and Melinda had exited the front door and met them on the way to the corral.

Adam had suggested they trim down some of AJ's old jeans to fit the little girl rather than worrying about finding a riding skirt. But getting the excited child into the pants had been like stuffing a sham with an overly-filled pillow, and Melinda had threatened to make her daughter wear a dress and ride in a wagon. That had settled the little girl enough that the remainder of hair combing, and dressing went quickly

The men had the horses saddled and lined up for the ride. Cochise had a travois behind him holding their picnic baskets and enough fishing poles and gear for a small army.

"Where's the surprise?" Lizzy asked as she ran from horse to horse. "And where's my pony?"

Hoss grabbed her as she ran by and hoisted her onto his shoulder. "Yer pony's legs ain't long enough to keep up with the rest of us, and I think you need to learn how to ride in this country a little better first. But," he carried her over to a chestnut quarter-horse with a broad rump, and pointed to the saddle. "I had this made fer you," he explained.

Adam had walked over to his wife and she pulled him near to ask, "What's Hoss showing her." Her eyes rounded in worry. "She can't ride anything that big."

"She can't?" he teased. Seeing her stern look, he continued, "Hoss had a special saddle made for longer rides around the ranch. It's a tandem rig with an adult saddle that attaches to a smaller one for a child. It's just her size, and it even has short stirrups so her feet won't flop."

"Does it have a pommel?" Her face still registered her concern.

"There are two raised handholds or she can hold onto me." He frowned. "Hoss said he thought it best if I'd take her. He'd have liked to do it, but he admitted that Chubby was already struggling with just his weight."

She reached for his hand. "I know that made you sad, yet it does seem a better solution." Her lips twisted in a grimace. "Do you think it's safe?"

"It'll be fine. She knows how to ride, so she'll be able to enjoy the view without having to worry about controlling a horse."

Their conversation was interrupted by their daughter instructing her father to hurry up so she could try the "behind-you" saddle.

Ben allowed his sons to go ahead with Jamie and AJ, while he hung back with Melinda. As they rode side-by-side he nodded to the group in the lead. "My grandson appears to be a fine horseman."

"He is. One of our stable hands is teaching him to jump his horse now."

He slowed his horse even more. "I was surprised when AJ told Jamie what grades he and Lizzy will be in."

"There're both doing well, Ben. The teachers at their school would push AJ even further ahead, but they want him to have a little more time before they rush him into secondary school. Still…he loves to learn. It's interesting to watch him." She smiled lovingly and then chuckled. "He's a normal nine-year-old in every way, yet his mind is so active and when he talks about something he's interested in, you swear you're conversing with an old man."

Ben laughed out loud. "I wish you could have known your husband when he was that age. He was the same way. I imagine he'd have sailed through school just like AJ if it had been available. I think that was my biggest sadness for him out here."

"I don't think it was a problem." She grinned at her father-in-law. "You got him through the basics so he could excel once he got his chance." The grin continued. "There is something else. Lizzy is doing just as well as her brother. Her spoken grammar needs work but she reads and understands at a near adult level, and she's good in arithmetic and remembers well. I don't think the teachers know what to do with her right now. She's still a sweet little girl, so we don't want to rush her through childhood."

"I suppose schools are still more favorable towards young men?"

Melinda nodded. "There are a few in Boston that challenge young women, and we'll get Lizzy into one of them when she's eight."

They rode on in silence until Ben looked over again. "I'm sorry that Jamie was so accusatory at breakfast. I can't say that he's always sweet natured, but he's not quarrelsome either."

"It's nothing to worry about, and certainly nothing we haven't heard before. The same criticism comes from others, especially other teachers. Their defense against not trying my ideas is that if this works so well, then why aren't 'my' children attending my school."

"What do you tell them?" Ben asked while giving Buck a light kick to get him moving faster as the group out front got out of sight.

"I point out that our children were taught with my methods from little on, and they are ahead because of it." She paused as Ben nodded. "Jamie's questions showed that he was listening. His reasoning skills are good; I think you're aware of that. From what you wrote, he was a pretty good businessman, even if his product wasn't a sure thing."

Ben's laughter rang out in the open air. "He got the ranchers around here to promise him $5000 for rain." He shook his head. "That child carried a weight. He'd seen what his father had been through, yet he'd never lost faith in the man, and set out to prove him right. All that pressure to succeed made him both fearful and defiant."

"I can see how much you care for him, Ben. I think your patience will be rewarded, and he'll have a good life because of you." She grinned. "Those qualities you just mentioned—fearful and defiant—I'm betting they described Ben Cartwright when he set out from Boston with an infant son to find a dream."

Five

The first week of their vacation had passed quickly. There'd been family outings on the Ponderosa, and a trip into town for dinner with Paul Martin and Roy Coffee at the International House. But there was pressing ranch work to tend to for the Nevada Cartwrights, and Adam needed to conduct some business matters by telegraph, so they split up for the day. Adam took Melinda, Lizzy, and Hop Sing to spend the day in town, while the rest of the family checked the herd.

Jamie joined Ben, Hoss, and Joe at the door as they prepared to leave for a nearby grazing area. When Ben reminded the boy that he wouldn't be joining them until later, he set his face in a challenging glare.

"Why can't I come with you now, Pa?"

"We spoke about this last night. AJ wants to see how we work the cattle, but we have things to get settled with the foremen before we can show him around. It'll be best if you two stay here to clean the barn and then ride out later."

"That rich kid doesn't know how to clean a barn. I'll end up babysitting while he orders me around."

Ben finished buckling his holster and then led Jamie outside. "From the way you're acting right now, AJ will be babysitting you." He let that image settle. "That…kid, as you call him, is my grandson. While he's not actually related to you, he is part of this family, and you will watch how you refer to him. Further, he hasn't shirked any chores. He tends to his own horse and helps wherever he's needed, just like you. So…" He squared himself in a wide stance, while holding Jamie at arm's length. "Maybe you can tell me what's really bothering you."

"It's just that…" The young man looked toward his feet.

"Just what?" Ben asked.

Jamie looked back up and met Ben's gaze with a look of fierceness. "Since those kids got here, everyone is so happy. It's all, AJ's so smart: AJ rides so well; AJ is so perfect. The girl is cute and funny, and I'm, well, it's like I don't matter."

Ben drew back as he recalled the days since Adam and his family had arrived. Certainly a lot of attention had been directed toward his grandchildren. But they had included Jamie in everything they'd done. He'd seen AJ go over to the older boy several times, asking him to play a board game or go outside. He'd succeeded a few times, but just as often, Jamie would refuse and either go to his room or sit off by himself looking sullen while the adults talked. A smile crept onto his lips as realization hit. His adopted son was jealous.

"You've forgotten a couple of things, son. Adam is also my son, and he's the person who helped me start this ranch and make it into the success you see now. Wouldn't it seem odd if we weren't happy that he was home? And those kids you keep referring to are the children of my child, so wouldn't it also be a tragedy if they didn't hold a deep and honored position in my heart?" He waited for Jamie to nod. "Now, what you say is true. We do acknowledge their talents and accomplishments, but if you'd participate or at least pay attention, you'd know that your brothers and I often mention your achievements too." Ben's statement caused Jamie to blush and turn away. "From what I can tell, AJ likes you…or could if you'd give him a chance. My best advice is to let him in a little. You might just find a friend…and ally."

Jamie was silent for a second, but then returned Ben's stare and said, "If that all, I'll go back inside." Although the deepening blush spoke to him understanding the truth in Ben's words, there was still a defiant tone in Jamie's voice. He turned to leave, but Ben's hand on his shoulder brought his departure to a halt.

"I know it's hard being surrounded by so many Cartwrights. But I want you to remember that while the rest of us, including AJ, Lizzy, and their father, became Cartwrights through birth. You became one by choice—both yours and mine. Becoming my son means you have all the privileges of this name, but it also means you have responsibilities. Getting to know the rest of your 'family' with an open mind is one of them." He dropped his hand to release his newest son, and the boy made a hurried retreat into the house.

Hop Sing and Lizzy sat together in the back seat of the buggy, talking, while Adam and Melinda made a few plans for their trip to San Francisco as they drove into town. The couple decided they'd follow the same route they'd taken when they'd come, taking the stage to Reno and then catching the train to the coast.

As their conversation concluded, Adam leaned back to hear what the duo behind him were saying. He swung back and moved nearer to his wife. "He's teaching her Chinese, and they're actually carrying on a simple conversation."

"It doesn't surprise me." Melinda shook her head and chuckled. "Hop Sing is taking us to meet his cousins while you wire Boston and wait for their reply. I'm sure our daughter wants to have a few phrases to use."

"It's too bad she didn't take to wearing those jeans." Adam smiled over at his wife. "But she is a delicate flower like her mother, and perhaps the cotton pants like Hop Sing wears will be more comfortable." He snickered. "I'm sure she'll come home with a lovely cheongsam made out of satin too if Hop Sing has his way."

"And she'll be lovely in it. It was sweet of him to suggest the alternative." Melinda bit her lip in thought. "I think I'll have them shorten one pair of pants so she has something to wear swimming. The sundress she's been using weighs her down when it's wet, and I'm worried she'll drown. She can still wear her stockings and a camisole, but those pants will be much lighter."

"She's just a little girl, honey. She can wear a shirt and short pants without the stockings and have fun. We're on the ranch, so it's not like anyone can accuse us of dressing her immodestly."

She winked. "I love it that you're such a modern man. Now…can I just wear a pair of cotton pants and a shirt if we go swimming too?"

Adam pulled Melinda closer. "How about we go swimming alone. Then you can wear nothing at all."

She swatted him before creating a little more space between them. The Cartwright family was used to seeing the loving gestures between Adam and his bride. Yet Hop Sing was not normally around during those moments and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.

They were nearing town as Melinda sighed into a question. "I wonder if we should have brought AJ with us today."

"He wanted to go out to the camp, and he's excited to be alone with his uncles and grandpa. I can't wait to hear what he has to say tonight. It'll be like reliving my first time working cattle." He glanced over and saw the uneasy look on his wife's face. "I couldn't take any better care of him than those three men will."

Melinda's, "I suppose," was drowned out by Adam calling out to Roy Coffee as they pulled into town. He angled himself to see the passengers in the back seat. "I'll leave the wagon at the mercantile. They can load the supplies, and then take it to the livery if we're not back." Once he'd brought the vehicle to a stop in front of the store that had once belonged to Will Cass, he helped the ladies down, giving his wife and daughter a kiss before sending them off with Hop Sing. With them on their way, he grabbed his portfolio and headed toward the Western Union office.

AJ had pulled the dirty straw from the four main stalls of the barn by the time Jamie walked in.

"Why didn't you say you'd be out here," the older boy growled. "I was lookin' all over for you."

"Grandpa said we could ride out when the chores were done so I thought I'd get started." He watched as Jamie strode past him, grabbed a rake and started tossing fresh straw toward the stall. "If you wait a minute, I'll get this dirty stuff into the wheelbarrow and take it outside."

Jamie stopped, and sent AJ a look of disgust. "I told Pa you'd boss me around."

"I'm not bossing you." AJ's initial reply came out with the same peevish tone used by his companion, but it softened as he added, "I only made a suggestion that will keep the fresh straw from getting mixed with the dirty stuff. But you can do it any way you like."

His pitchfork stopped in mid-air as Jamie grunted, and then chuckled. "Yeah, I guess that does make sense. I think we'll be in each other's way if we keep this up. I'll go fill the water buckets while you get the muck out of here, and then you can put oats in the troughs and hay in the nets while I put down bedding."

The two boys finished preparing the stalls in silence, and then began sweeping the rest of the barn floor and stowing tack and other items left out by the older men of the family.

Jamie climbed into the loft after sending AJ outside, and began pitching hay down for the animals in the corral. "So how many horses you got in that place of yours back east?" he hollered from above.

"We've got twenty stalls, but we only keep the four horses we use inside. There's another 30 thoroughbreds and Arabians in the pastures."

"What do you do with all of them? Pa says Adam's got some big business, and your ma's got a school, so it's not like you run a ranch, do you?" Jamie disappeared into the loft after asking the question and reappeared at the side door on the ground floor to help move the dropped hay to the feeding troughs in the pen.

"We only have a thousand acres. Some of that is farmed but there's a good stretch of pastureland and a big woods with a stream running through it. We use the land for riding, and a monastery sends people over to work with the horses when they need some peace. We provide the land and horses; the monks do the rest." The younger boy stopped what he was doing to stretch, and then grinned. "My father and I kind of practiced for coming out here—you know so I'd know a little more about being with the cattle."

Jamie laughed, but his tone turned mocking. "So you pretended to be cowboys and rode your horses around in the field? Did you herd your milk cows and lasso your chickens too?"

AJ ignored the sarcasm. "Dad has taken me camping since I was little. He likes to make a roaring campfire, and we lean back on our saddles to look at the stars while he shows me the different constellations."

The sarcastic tone persisted. "Aw, ain't that sweet. But it still don't change the fact that all you done was ride them ponies around and slept on the ground near your house."

"I know the Ponderosa is much bigger than our place. Dad says I've only seen a small part of it so far. Have you gotten around most of it, Jamie?"

The teenager snorted. "I've seen a lot of it, but there are places no one gets to 'ceptin every few years. I mean," he paused for emphasis, "the place is a thousand square acres."

"I don't think it is," AJ answered matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Dad and Grandpa say it's a thousand square miles."

Jamie glared at the younger boy. "It's the same thing!"

"You said square acres, making it a million acres, and it's not. It's 640,000 acres."

"What's the difference?" Jamie said again as his cheeks blazed red with anger and embarrassment.

"A square mile is 640 acres. You multiply that by 1000 and it's 640,000."

"Just shut up."

AJ could see Jamie's balled fists but wasn't sure why he was so angry. "I'm sorry. I thought you'd want to know the right amount." The other boy's posture remained stiff, so he added, "I know where the feed is for the other animals. I'll get that done so we can get out to the herd."

While AJ did that, Jamie got his horse from the corral, hitched it to the rail, and went back to the barn for his saddle. "Hurry up kid," he shouted to the boy in the chicken coop. "Get done and saddle your horse so we can get going." He was secretly pleased with how much the "kid" had helped, but still didn't cotton to his smart mouth.

AJ bounded from the coop, tossed his pan into the feed bin inside the barn, and then led a medium-sized horse from the corral its lead rope. "Can you help me with the saddle, please? You're taller than I am, and if I do it alone, I'll have to get a bench to stand on, and that'll take more time."

A drawn out sigh escaped the older boy's pursed lips. He'd learned a few things about the kid this morning. AJ worked hard and was willing to do whatever needed to be done. And Jamie had used every evil-eyed look he could come up with to shut the boy up, but nothing riled the kid. The one thing that was stuck in his craw was how AJ made constant mention of all the things he did with his dad. He figured AJ had heard the story about the life he'd lived on the road with his father while trying to make rain. It spurred him into thinking that the kid kept bringing up the obvious difference between their two fathers as a way to get to him. He cinched his saddle tight and turned. "Take your horse in the barn and I'll saddle it there. You get the canteens filled while I do that."

"You know my dad still has the original canteen that Grandpa gave him," AJ said enthusiastically. "He said it's the first Christmas gift he can remember getting after they moved here. It's pretty banged up and the cork's been replaced, but he won't ever get rid of it." AJ went to the barn to grab two empty containers and continued talking as he neared Jamie on his way to the pump. "Dad and I always take that canteen with us when we go camping. He says it makes him feel close to Grandpa, and Uncle Hoss and Joe. We talk about the Ponderosa all the time. I think he wants to make sure that we never forget the family we have here, because they sure won't ever forget us."

The tale of the familial canteen tweaked Jamie's last bit of good will, and he started to laugh sourly. His cheeks first blanched and then heated to crimson, and his opening statement was given in a wounded pitch. "Your Pa thinks his father and brothers won't forget him and the rest of you? That's funny! They already have."

The canteens clunked as they hit the ground after slipping from AJ's hand, and he stood wide-eyed with an angry set to his lips. "What do you mean by that?"

"No one talks about your pa…ever. I've never heard a ranch hand even mention his name, and Ben, Hoss and Joe, don't either. I can't recall your pa's name said aloud in that house more than once since I've been living here. But whoa boy, that all changed when they found out you were all coming for a visit. Then they tried to tell me everything about the missing son, his uppity wife, and his miserable kids in a couple days."

AJ walked over and looked directly up at the taller boy. "That's a lie. Grandpa would never talk about my mother and us that way."

"You're lying to yourself if you think it's any different. In fact they told me to stay here with you for a while this morning so they didn't have to have you around so long." He had the kid on the ropes now and he lunged in for another jab. "Ain't it just funny to think of you and your pa out in that puny woods you got, remembering people who couldn't care less." Jamie stopped when he realized he'd gone too far. The younger boy paled and turned, and when Jamie tried to touch AJ's shoulder he yanked away. "Hey, let me get that horse ready and we'll leave." His tone lightened as he said, "What does it matter whether people across the country remember you when you're not around. That's how most people are anyway. And they seem to like you just fine now that you're here."

Where Jamie's tone had softened, AJ's now held a sharp edge. "I'll stay here and wait for my parents to get back."

"C'mon kid, they're going to wonder where we are."

AJ led his horse back into the corral and swatted its rump to make it run. He turned back to Jamie. "I think they might wonder where you are, but if what you said is true, then they should be glad I'm not along."

Beads of sweat were forming on the older boy's upper lip. "I was just teasing you a little. They'll be mad at me if I don't bring you." Jamie grabbed the corral gate. "I'll get your horse, and we'll go."

"I'm not going." AJ pulled Jamie's hand from the gate latch. "Just leave. I don't need a babysitter, and as you said, you'll all get more done if I'm not around." He looked up at Jamie a last time before running for the house.

A groan escaped as Jamie watched AJ disappear inside. A memory of the night Ben Cartwright had stayed with him as he'd tried to make it rain in Virginia City, pounded in his brain. He could see himself telling the kindly man about his own father being tarred and feathered because no one understood the science involved or that it took time. He'd also told him how they'd had to sneak out of many places in fear of the same outcome. In the face of probable failure, he'd told Ben Cartwright that he'd given his best, and he wouldn't run or cry anymore.

This was the man he now called, Pa—the man who'd taken him in and given him his name and a future. And just now, he'd tried to destroy this same man's grandson. In his heart, he knew he'd only meant to poke the kid, but he'd gone too far and wounded him…making the boy doubt his worth in his own family.

Jamie swallowed hard as he looked around and saw the fine house he lived in and the fine horse next to him, and thought about the family who'd accepted him as their own. The bile in his stomach rose again as he realized he'd taken all those fine things away from this youngster who'd really done nothing but tell him some stories about where he lived in Boston. He didn't understand what was driving the hot ball of anger in his stomach, but it had been there since Adam and his family had arrived. Even now, he knew it had caused him to do something horrible—but it was still there.

He tried to tamp down his feelings by reasoning that what he'd said had been true. Ben, Hoss, and Joe didn't talk about the oldest brother much, and neither did the ranch hands. But then one day, Ben had sat him down and told him that they would be visited by this first son and his family, and after that the three of them had nearly talked his ear off about Adam, Melinda, AJ, and Lizzy. It had seemed like they'd wanted to create the illusion of caring that hadn't existed before the news of their impending arrival. So…he hadn't lied. But, if this was the truth, why did he feel so awful?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and doubts. "Well someone better get out there," he said solemnly while mounting his horse. "I'll just say the kid wasn't feeling good."

Ben looked past Jamie as he dismounted at camp. "Where's AJ?"

The teenager stayed by his animal, looking intently at a loose thread on the saddle blanket. "We finished the chores and then…well, he decided not to come along."

"Why is that?" The tone of Ben's voice conveyed his suspicions that this wasn't a real answer.

He'd intended not to say anything, but when Ben Cartwright asked for an explanation in the tone he'd just used, Jamie knew enough to give an honest answer—or at least an answer with some truth. "Everything was fine, and then he was going on about how much everyone here thought about his pa, and I might have said that I didn't recall hearing much about any of them until just before they got here. He seemed to get the idea that meant no one cared about them."

Hoss had hurried over when he'd seen Jamie ride into camp, and made it to his father's side in time to hear the explanation for AJ's absence. His mouth drew into a thin line as he closed his eyes. After a deep breath, he laid his hand on his father's arm. "I'll go."

Hoss made a quick search of the house before heading out to the barn. The stalls were empty but he heard rustling above him, followed by a loud sneeze. He climbed the ladder to the loft and saw AJ tucked away in a pile of hay at the far corner with an open book on his lap. "I figgered it was you up here after hearing that sneeze." He smiled widely. "Your daddy used to do the same thing when he worked with the hay and straw. Sometimes it'd get so bad he'd look just plain miserable. His eyes got all runny and he'd sound like he had cotton stuffed up his nose." Hoss's description elicited a short-lived smile from the boy.

AJ finally spoke. "I'm surprised you remembered that about my dad."

The tall man had to duck and finally squat as he made his way into the decreasing slant of the beams to get to his nephew. "Can I sit next to you for a spell?"

"I can't stop you," AJ said as he turned away. His voice was cool, yet respectful, as he added, "It's your barn."

Hoss couldn't help but smile. This youngster was so much like the brother he'd known while growing up. Adam had been fierce in his opinions; always sure of himself when he knew the facts, and let most attempts at riling him roll off his back like water from a duck's feathers. But if he and Joe ever wanted to get Adam's goat, they teased him about being the oddball of the family; how he didn't fit in and couldn't be a part of their plans. His older brother would brush it off, saying he had no intention of being like everyone else, and was glad to be excluded. But there were times when Hoss had seen the momentary doubt and hurt those phrases had created.

He glanced over at the boy next to him and saw the same wounded look. "Jamie didn't tell us exactly what he said, but I got the feeling he felt bad about it. Mind telling me what's botherin' you the most?"

AJ's eyes were shining with unshed tears when he faced his uncle. "I thought you all liked me…especially you, Uncle Hoss. I think about you every day, and talk to Dad about you nearly as much. I pray for you and Grandpa, and Uncle Joe every night, and I got so excited once I knew we were coming to Nevada I could hardly do my studies."

"You got part a that wrong, sprout," Hoss said gently as he slid closer. "I don't just like ya, I love ya, AJ, and I don't want you to ever doubt that. Your Grandpa and Joe feel the same way."

The tears slipped over AJ's bottom lashes and splashed onto his cheeks. "Then why don't any of you talk about us, like Jamie said?" He took a deep breath. "He said no one cares: not the hands, not you or Grandpa…no one. Was he lying?"

Hoss sat up straighter, bumping his head against the low-slung roof. He understood what was going on with Jamie. It was the very reason they'd kept mute about Adam and his family since the teenager had been with them. Hoss realized now that they should have explained their reasoning better when they did start to prepare him for Adam's visit. Instead, Jamie had misinterpreted their intentions in withholding the stories about their oldest brother and his family, and then used it as a weapon.

It seemed their plan hadn't prevented Jamie's doubts about belonging in the Cartwright family anyway, and now Hoss had to explain this to a nine-year-old who shouldn't ever feel doubts over his place in their hearts. "What Jamie told you was true." He rubbed his hand over his face, and slipped his arm around the youngster's back. "The part about the crew not talking about yer daddy is easy. Adam's been gone for more'n ten years. Most cowhands only stay put a season or two, so them men out there can't remember Adam, cuz they never knew him."

The big man felt AJ's shoulders relax a little. "And we didn't talk about your family in front of Jamie, but it's why we done it that matters. That boy had been through a lotta sorrow and some terrible bad circumstances when Pa brought him here. Jamie felt outa place at first. Can you understand that?"

AJ shrugged.

"I remember hearing about when you started at that new school with all them other smart kids. I bet that was hard fer you too. Think how hard it would have been if yer teachers had constantly talked about the best student they'd ever known, and compared you to that person. You would'a gotten tired of hearin' that all the time, right?"

The child's response came out of a lopsided smile. "Yes."

"Yer grandpa decided that's how it would feel for Jamie if we talked about yer family as much as we usually did. We all agreed that he should get comfortable with us, before we started bringin' up the part that wasn't here." Hoss drew his arm tighter around his nephew. "If we'd a told him all the great things your family does, and how smart you and Lizzy are, it might'a made him think he didn't measure up."

AJ looked up to meet Hoss's eyes. "It's not fun living in a shadow when you can't see what's making it."

"Yer a smart boy, AJ. The three of us never really stopped talking about ya'll or rememberin' you. We just did it when Jamie wasn't around. We'd wait til he'd go to school or bed before sharin' our letters from yer family; talkin' about our trip to Boston a couple years back or wonderin' out loud what you were all up to."

Hoss scooted forward and then moved forward in a crouch until he got to the center of the ceiling where he could stand. He held out his hand. "Come with me. There're a few things you should see."

AJ followed his uncle into his grandfather's bedroom and looked around.

"Pa is pretty private about his room, but he won't mind." Hoss walked to the dresser and motioned AJ over. The flat surface was filled with frames. "This here picture is your grandma Elizabeth, but I 'spect you know that."

The boy nodded. "Great-grandpa Abel and Daddy have one like this."

"This here is Marie, Joe's Mom." Hoss held a small picture out for AJ to see. "I was about five-years-old when she married Pa, and I remember her pretty good." He replaced Marie's picture and picked up Inger's. "And this here is my mama. Adam knew her, but I didn't."

"Dad told us about her, and had us say a prayer to remember her when the train passed near where she's buried." He took the frame and carried it to the brighter light by the window. "She has kind eyes."

Hoss sniffed, and yanked the handkerchief from his pocket to blow his nose. "Adam and Pa say she was kind to everyone. And thank you for thinkin' about her on the way." After resetting that frame, he pointed to another group of pictures. "The rest of these are all people you should recognize." AJ nodded and smiled at the small portraits of his family. "I've asked Pa why he doesn't put these downstairs, and he said he likes to see you before he closes his eyes, and then first thing when he opens them."

He took the boy's hand and walked him to the head of the bed and indicated a painted portrait of AJ's family, done from a picture they'd sent. "Pa had the artist color yer clothes just as he remembered them from when we was in Boston." Hoss gave AJ a minute to look at the details and then turned him towards the door. "C'mon kiddo, there's more."

The pair headed downstairs to the bookshelves behind his father's desk and opened the doors of the bottom cabinet. "Those three boxes are the letters Pa's been keeping ever since yer daddy first went to Boston for school." Hoss sat in the green leather chair and took his nephew's hands. "Joe and me got boxes like that in our rooms with the letters you done sent to us. All of them have been read, reread, passed around so we'd all see them, and then read again. Some nights when I'm thinkin' about you, I'll pull out my box and read til I can't read no more."

AJ had been standing at a distance, but he moved forward, wrapping his arms around the big man.

Hoss pulled the boy onto his lap and kissed the top of his head. "The things I done showed you keep us goin' when you're so far away." Hoss squeezed AJ harder. "Jamie's doin' fine, but all of you being here is pokin' at some feelin's he wasn't expectin', and I think you can understand why that is." He felt AJ nod against his chest.

Hoss held his nephew for a few minutes longer as he thanked God for the chance to know this little version of his older brother. There'd been many times when Adam had held him like this when he'd been sad or afraid as a child, and he couldn't help but think of the blessing he'd been given with this chance to return his brother's care. Hoss gave a final squeeze and said, "Well them steers out there are waitin' on us, so we best get goin'."

Please continue to Part 2 - where the Cartwright's visit to the west takes an unexpected turn.

Notes:

1Elizabeth's story is like one my young grandson told me about a deer at the hospital where he'd gone to visit that bit his finger when he tried to feed it. To this day, I don't know if he saw a deer and concocted the story or if he just dreamed it all up.

2Adam met Ruth 10 years after their initial encounter (the Savage episode) in my story called, Reunions. She tells him all that happened to her after she'd left with the Shoshone, including finding her father still alive and doing well, and admitted that she couldn't have been the woman Adam wanted her to be.

3 Adam and Melinda went to the Ponderosa in the third story of this series called, In Search of Safety.

I have a suspicion that the images I've posted showing the Railroad and Oregon Trail maps will not post correctly. If you'd like to see them, you can PM me and I'll send you that page. So sorry for the formatting problems.

This map shows the route of the Transcontinental Railroad. To get to Omaha, Adam and his family would have traveled south to New York from Boston, and then crossed over to Chicago where they'd have gotten on west-bound tracks leading to Omaha.

Comparing the Oregon Trail map in Nebraska and Wyoming to the Transcontinental Railway map, shows that the tracks followed the historic wagon route quite closely. The Bonanza episode where Hoss is born and Inger dies, takes place in Nebraska with the wagon train trying to reach Ash Hollow (arrow on the map) to join with another group before proceeding to Ft. Laramie, Wyoming, a cavalry post where they'd winter. (The star on the map) Ash Hollow sits at the bottom of a steep hill, and the episode shows the wagons barreling downward to reach the meeting point. It is said that so many wagons made that same downhill run that the ruts formed by the wheels on that hill are still visible. Inger died in Ash Hollow and was buried there. Since they only missed the other wagon train by days, Ben made the decision to move ahead to Fort Laramie.