Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or anything else mentioned in this fic, so you can forget about suing.

A/N: Well, after I don't know how many months, I'm finally finished this thing. I think I started writing it after Christmas break... ^ ^;;; Anyhoo, I don't know if anyone'll find this funny, but I hope you do. Every time I got an idea, it went into this fic, so if nothing makes sense... that's the point. ^ ^;;;

WARNING: Contains... surprises. ^_^ Surprise pairings. Well, not that surprising, if you've read even ONE of my fics. ^^;;;

Shameless plug! : My website is up. Visit it, please?

This fic is dedicated to Jaymah. You rawk. ^_^ A big thanks goes out to my boytoy, who helped me with this a little.

Yamato's Babysitting Adventure

"There's pop in the fridge if you'd like some, Yamato. Potato chips are in the cupboard. We'll be back at around two."
"Sure, Mrs. Rikujou. Thanks. Have a good time!" Matt said as Mr. And Mrs. Rikujou walked out the door.
"Dal should go to bed at nine, alright, Yamato?" Mrs. Rikujou added before being tugged off by her impatient husband.
"Alright, Mrs. Rikujou!" Matt acknowledged with a smile as the couple walked out the door. He turned to face the young black haired boy sitting on the couch watching Timon and Pumbaa. The young one, aged four, looked up at Matt with his big brown eyes.
"I... wanned... mummy... an'... daddy... a stay home wit me!" he screeched, beginning to bawl, his small speech impediment evident.
Matt sighed. 'Typical Friday night...' he thought.
"Dal, your mom and dad will be home soon," Matt attempted to comfort.
"I wanned mummy a stay home wit me!" the little one repeated.
Matt tried again.
"I know you did, but they've gone out. They'll be home before you know it!"

The younger boy looked up at his sitter, wiped his nose with his sleeve and sniffed. 'Please stop crying please stop crying please stop crying...' Matt prayed. Dal looked at him, made a thoughtful face and declared, "Less make a tent!"
"A tent..." Matt said, as if thinking, and went over to the love seat to get the blankets that were usually used to build 'tents'. The two walked into the kitchen to get some chairs and proceeded to build 'tent' after 'tent' after 'tent'...
Dozens of indoor rugby games, other incomprehensible games invented by the little one, hiding under the table and pretending it's a car, tents, camp outs, and rainstorms (i.e. "QUICK! GET INNA TENT! IT'S RAINING!" "I don't think there's any room for me in there..." "Look! I make room!" "Arrgh...okay.") later, Matt and Dal settled down to watch Alf.
Matt looked at his watch. It was now a quarter to nine. He had been at the Rikujou family's house since six. He was now going to attempt to put young Dal to bed, a mission in itself. If he would accomplish this mission, however, he would be rewarded by a visit from his beloved Taichi. Matt got up and walked to the downstairs bathroom to get Dal's toothbrush ready. He did so, walked back into the livingroom, and handed Dal his toothbrush. This was to warn him that bedtime would be soon. Matt smiled as he watched Dal absentmindedly take the toothbrush from his hand and brush.

"All done!" the four-year-old proclaimed proudly after six seconds of brushing, handing his toothbrush to Matt.
"Are you sure? Can't you brush a little more for me, please?" Matt pleaded.
"But I already brush..."
"But you didn't brush a lot. Just a little more and you'll be done."

The toddler complied. Matt smiled and waited until Dal was finished, then brought his toothbrush back into the bathroom. He walked back into the living room and plopped down back into his usual chair and looked at Dal, who was now playing with his little beanie monkey. All of a sudden, Dal pouted and set the monkey down on the floor next to his chair.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked, staring at him.
"Monkey... dead." Dal stated, staring at his monkey.
"D-dead?"
"Hai... like dis." Dal said, and demonstrated by slouching down in his chair and playing dead.

Matt didn't know what to say. "It's not dead! See?!" Matt said, panicked, picking up the little plush monkey and making it dance around.
"Iie. Dead." Dal said, taking the monkey from Matt's hand and gently set it down on the floor.
"Er... It's sleeping." Matt attempted.
"Can I have chips now?" Dal asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
"Uh... sorry, but you can't. You already brushed your teeth. And besides, you have to go to bed soon." Matt explained, looking at his watch. He should be in bed in five minutes. "Do you want a story before you go to bed?"
"Hai!" the young one responded excitedly. But Matt knew it was never just 'a' story. It would be a multitude of stories before the kid was satisfied and would agree to sleep.
"Well, we'd better go up now." Matt said, rising from his seat. The now-obedient (obedient when a story is at risk) boy also rose and took Matt by the hand as they walked upstairs to his room. (A/N: If you think piggishly, you are a horribly sick person!)
"Iie, Yamato, not dat story! De oder one!" the young boy bellowed, pointing in the general direction of the left of the bookshelf.
"This one?" Matt asked as he pulled out a colorful book.
"Iie! Dat one!" Dal said as he frantically pointed at a more specific area, that of a yellow and purple book.
"This one again?" Matt asked, staring at the Mickey Mouse book.
"Hai hai!" the young boy said, nodding enthusiastically.
"Alright." Matt said, kneeling down beside Dal, who was tucked into his bed.
After looking at all three books about eight times each, Dal had settled down to sleep. 'I'm glad Takeru wasn't like this...' Matt thought. He sighed in relief as he put the books away and walked towards the door.
"Want me to close the door?" Matt asked.
"Iie." the tired boy answered.
"Alright then. G'night, Dal."
"Goonight, 'Mato." Matt smiled and walked down the stairs.

"Finally." Matt sighed aloud. He grabbed the phone and dialed Taichi's number.

"Hello?"
"Taichi?"
"Yama! So, the little monster's finally asleep, is he?"
"Taichi! He's not a monster!"
"Heh... whatever you say, Yama-dear."
"Well, you can come over now if-"
*click*

Matt chuckled as he put the phone back on the hook.

A quiet knock on the door. Matt jumped to his feet and ran to answer. There stood Taichi in all his glory. Without a word, Matt let him in and took his coat. He immediately noticed his boyfriend's 'Sex Bomb' t-shirt and finally laughed. Taichi immediately jumped into his arms.
"All I know is that to me, you look like you're lots of fun! Open up your loving arms, watch out, here I-" Taichi sang, or rather bellowed.
"Taichi!" Matt scolded. "The kid's in bed! Be quiet!"
"Oops... sorry." Taichi said, giving him a small kiss.
"C'mon, take off your shoes. Want something to eat?" Matt asked, taking Taichi's coat.
Taichi considered answering piggishly, but chose not to. "No thanks."
"Something to drink?"
Once again, Taichi considered his options.
"Naw."
They both sat down in the love seat and Taichi grabbed the remote. He flicked it to channel 20.
"Damnit... I forgot. Gundam Wing isn't on on Fridays." Taichi cursed.
"So channel surf." Matt suggested.
"Actually, I had something else in mind." Taichi said as he turned the tv off. He turned to Matt, grinning from ear to ear. He leaned closer to Matt, grabbing him by the front of his shirt, and pulled him closer to him until their noses were touching. Matt smiled coyly and wrapped his arms around Taichi's neck. Matt could feel Taichi's warm breath on his lips. He licked his lips and was about to kiss him when...
*ring, ring!*

"Damn. It." Matt mumbled, trying to get up to answer.
"Don't answer it, Yama." Taichi suggested forcefully.
"It could be the parents."
"Fine." Tai said, releasing Matt from his deathgrip.

Matt walked over to the phone, which was in the kitchen, cleared his throat and picked up.
"Moshi moshi!"
"Hey, Matt?"
"Koushiro?!"
"Listen, sorry to be bothering you when you're babysitting but your dad insisted on giving me this number... Anyway, I was just calling you to see if you knew where Jyou was? I'm kinda worried..."
"Sorry... no clue."
"Oh... well, thanks anyway."
"Why?"
"Hunh?"
"Why did you want to know where Jyou was?"
"Uhm... heh heh... Well... uh... he was supposed to, erm, come over and tutor me with my math homework."
"On a Friday night? Wait... tutor you?! You don't need-"
"Uhm... ::whispering:: Hey! Jyou! Hey... wait! I'm on the phone!"
"What?"
"Computer phone! You know, you talk through the mic?"
"Oops..."
"S-stop tha- ::giggle:: Prodigious! SorryYamatogottagobye!"
*click!*
Matt frowned, blinked and put the phone back on the receiver. 'Why the hell did he call me for that?' he thought.
He returned to find Taichi half asleep on the couch, remote in hand, channel flipped to "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?'. Matt grinned evilly and grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him. Taichi snapped back into reality.
"Hunh?! What?!"
Matt jumped onto his lap and laughed. Taichi made a face and wrapped his arms around Matt's waist. Matt looked into Tai's eyes (A/N: Pffff... that rhymes!) and smiled.
"You got big... hair." he said, running his right hand through Tai's chestnut mop.
"Stop that!" Tai giggled, not actually trying to stop him.
"Shhh, not so loud..." Matt warned with a smile on his face.
"Hehe, sorry!" Tai apologized.
Smiling, he moved his face closer to Matt's and gently kissed him on the lips. Matt closed his eyes and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, then seemingly out of nowhere...
*Tap tap tap!*
Tai tried to ignore it and continued to make his move, but Matt pushed him away.
"What was that?" he asked.
"I don't know." Tai sighed in defeat, knowing he probably wasn't going to be kissing his love-bunny anytime soon.
Matt got off Tai's lap and walked over to a nearby window in the kitchen. He growled when he noticed the telltale Sideshow Bob hairdo. He opened the window.
"What do you want, Jun?!" he screamed.
"Yamato! Oooh, I knew you were here! Your dad told me you were!" Jun squealed excitedly.
'I'm gonna get him for this...' Matt thought.
"What do you want, Jun?" he asked again.
"Hey, is that Taichi over there on the couch?" Jun asked, somewhat trying to climb into the house through the window, which was quite the distance from the ground.
"Yes, it is. Stop trying to climb in!" Matt screamed, gently trying to push her out. Hey, he didn't want to hurt her, he just wanted her to get the hell away.
"Taaaaichiiiiii! What are you doing here?!" she hollered.
"Yama?! Is that...?" Taichi asked from the living room.
"Yes, it's Jun." Matt said angrily. He turned to Jun as Taichi began to walk into the kitchen. "Listen, Jun, I'm babysitting, so you aren't really allowed to come over here like this..."
"But Taichi's here!" came Jun's muffled protest, still trying to climb in, one leg dangling over the sink that was below the window and the other obviously trying to push herself off the ground.
"I have good reason to be here!" Tai argued.
"Like what?!" she asked, straining.
"Like, uhm, the kid likes me!" he stated proudly.
"Where is the kid?" Jun asked, trying to look around.
"He's in bed. Jun, I don't want to be rude, but you're making noise, and you're probably going to wake him since he's a light sleeper," Matt lied through his teeth. Truth was, the kid could sleep through a hurricane.
"Hmph. Fine, I'll go. But I still can't see why you would invite Taichi to come babysitting with you before you would ask me." Jun said, falling ass on the ground. Matt closed the window and turned to Tai, smiling. Tai was also happy to be rid of Jun, but was less enthusiastic about the second interruption of the night. Matt made a sad face and wrapped Tai in a hug.
"C'mon, Tai-chan, you know it isn't my fault." he said.
"I know." Tai said, smiling. ONCE AGAIN, he was just about to make his move, when...
*Tap tap tap!*
"I think I dropped my shoe in there!" said a smothered voice.
Matt looked over into the sink and sure enough, there was an ugly brown girl's shoe. Before Matt could make a move, Tai grabbed the shoe, opened the door and angrily threw it outside, then shouted, "GO AWAY!" and closed the window. He turned to his boyfriend once more and smiled triumphantly.
"Let's go make out!" he exclaimed as he grabbed Matt by the hand and dragged him back into the livingroom. And so they did.

Almost.

As soon as they settled back down on the love seat, there was a knock at the door. For once, Tai let his boyfriend go and answer the door. There stood Sora.
"Yama!" she cried as she jumped on him.
"Sora! Get off of me!" Matt screamed as he attempted to push her the hell off.
Tai walked in from the livingroom. "Did I hear...?"
"Taichi!" she screamed as she released her grip on Matt, ran to Tai and jumped on him.
"Get OFF me! Don't TOUCH me!" Tai nearly cried as he tried to pry Sora off of his waist. Sora smiled and let go. She stood there, looking at both of them.
"I've finally decided." she stated with an even bigger smile.
"Decided what?" Matt asked.
"Which one of you I want to go out with!" she exclaimed.
"You IDIOT! How many times do we both have to tell you?! We don't like you!" Tai screamed. Matt gently grabbed hold of his arm, whispering, "Calm down."
"I've decided that I want to go out with Yama, 'cause he has the nicest hair." Sora said, choosing either to ignore what Tai had said, or didn't hear it, her being stupid and all.
"Sora, you know I don't like you in that kind of way..." Matt said, trying to reason with her.
"Yama, it's only a matter of time before you do!" she said.
"No, it isn't, Sora. I don't like you. You're barely my friend. Those cookies you made for me tasted like rat poison and manure. And Taichi doesn't like you, either. Neither of us do." Matt said.
"You're just saying that! You're so funny!" Sora said as she slapped his arm and laughed.
"Sora, we were kinda busy. Do you mind coming back in October?" Tai asked, walking between Matt and Sora, then opened the door for her to leave.
"October? But that's in four months!" she said after six minutes of calculating.
"Exactly. See you. Bye bye." Tai said, trying to push her out the door.
"But Taichi, I love Yamato! I can't leave without him." she said. She tripped Tai, jumped over him and back into Matt's arms. Tai immediately rose to his feet.
"Get off of me NOW! Don't make me wake up the kid!" Matt threatened.
"Okay, okay... but I'm going over to your house tomorrow morning, bright and early at 7am!" Sora said with a smile.
"SEVEN IN THE MORNING?! I'm only going to have five hours of sleep!" Matt hollered.
"I think that's the least of your worries..." Tai whispered as Sora winked at both of them and walked out the door.
"Hn." Matt walked over to the door and peeked outside through the closed blind. "I think she's gone."
"Finally. Now can we please kiss or something?!" Tai asked, hugging Matt from behind.
"Yes..." Matt managed to mumble as Tai started kissing down his neck. Tai's left hand moved down to grab Matt's arse, giving it a little squeeze. Matt turned around, trying to look violated, but his nearly hidden grin gave him away. Tai smiled and put his arms around Matt's neck, bringing him closer, and gave him a small kiss on the lips. They then proceeded to devour each other's mouths hungrily, all the while trying to walk back to the love seat. Matt settling back down on Tai's lap, they groped each other until Tai started to unzip Matt's pants.

"Taichi, please, I'm babysitting... what if something happens? What if the kid dies or something?"
"Yama, has he ever died before? I think not."
"..."
"..."
"You can be such an idiot sometimes, Taichi."
"And that's why ya love me!"
"Sure."

Tai tried his luck again, and succeeded in undoing the top button of his boyfriend's jeans.
"Yagami!" Matt scolded, but couldn't help but giggle at the sight of Tai's face as it went through the shock of him being called by his last name.
"'Mato?"

Matt and Tai, being scared out of their wits, both turned to see little Dal, clutching Doggie (his stuffed animal). Tai blushed while letting go of Matt, who discreetly tried to button and zip his pants.
"Dal! What's a matter?!" Matt asked him, getting up from the love seat and walking over to where the little one stood.
"I had a n-nightmare..." Dal whispered, eyeing Taichi. Tai smiled at him, but Dal got closer to Matt.
"It was just a dream. Let's get you a glass of water and that you'll have to go back to bed." Matt said, taking Dal to the kitchen and getting him his water. Tai sat on the couch, waiting, as Matt brought Dal back upstairs and put him back to bed, but not before telling him a shortened version of a story he had heard a long time ago, The Three Little Pigs. Dal settled down and fell asleep. Matt walked back downstairs, expecting Tai to be horny, since he still was. Strangely enough, he wasn't, and he was looking through some movies the family had. Matt sighed and sat back down on the love seat.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Trying to get something that will calm me down." Tai answered. Matt made a face and watched Tai rummage through the video collection. He wanted to run over and deflower him at that very moment, but decided it was inappropriate.
"Found one!" Tai said at last.
"What is it?" Matt asked.
"I don't know. It's blank. Must be copied from off the tv or another tape." Tai said as he popped the tape into the VCR. The screen was blank from the time it took Tai to walk back to the seat and get into a cuddly, snuggly position with his boyfriend. They both sat and stared at the screen, enjoying each other's warmth as they held each other. Suddenly, something came on the screen.

"Oooooooooooh, yesssssssss!"
"Ooooooh..."
"Don't stop! DON'T STOP!"
"Nnnng..."
"Harder, harder, yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

"AAAAAAH!"
"Yamato, is that...?!"
"Mr. And Mrs. Rikujou!"
"EEEW!" Tai screamed as he dashed for the VCR, pressing stop and eject, and threw the tape back into the case and closet like the dirty thing it was.

Tai and Matt looked at each other, faces full of utter disgust. Tai sat down next to his boyfriend again and the pair spent the next hour staring at the wall, each shuddering in revulsion once in a while. When it was 1:30, Tai decided it was time to go home.
"... call me tomorrow, if you can." he said as he was putting on his shoes.
"... yep."
"... love ya."
"... love ya, too."
"... bye."
"... see ya tomorrow."

They kissed briefly, both still grossed out and not being able to take in any kind of affection. Matt walked back to the living room tried clearing his mind by watching television until Dal's parents got back. Finally, at a little past two, Matt heard the front door open. He took a deep breath, unsure if he could face the couple after he had seen them sharing such an icky intimate moment on FILM. He walked to the door, staring at the floor.
"Hey, Yamato! Sorry we're a little late." Mr. Rikoujou apologized.
"Th-that's okay..." Matt mumbled.
"So, how was Dal? Was he good? Did he go to bed alright?" Mrs. Rikoujou asked.
"Yeah, yeah, everything went fine..." Matt answered, staring at his feet. He felt his face go red as Mrs. Rikoujou handed him his pay. He stared at her hand, the hand that had been connected to the arm that had been connected to the body that had been naked! He shuddered, mumbled a thanks and took the money, thinking the cash felt dirty, and slipped on his shoes and coat, and walked to his dad's vehicle. He started it up and drove home, trying to forget the horrifying evening. He decided he would not go babysitting for another little while.

~*~Owari~*~

End Note: That took me months to write. Procrastinator, I am! ^^;;; Well, thanks for reading!