This is obviously not The Purple Fairy's Sequel, or anything related to that universe.

This is just a little story idea I have spinning around in my head, may continue, may not. I have a lot on my plate right now...

He always fell asleep first. It was something Emma had come to know about him, his head would turn to the side, mouth only slightly open as his hair fell into his face; his arm would wrap around her tightly as if trying to hold onto her even in sleep and would just doze off into much needed sleep.

(His ass of a boss was always giving him the longest shifts at the harbor, the longest and most dangerous jobs according to the blue eyes man besides her. Emma could barely contain her worry sometimes.)

She knew this because she spent an unbelievably long time just like this, curled up in his bed after she caught some lowlife to help pay the bills, watching this happen, watching his eyes drift shut with a ghost of a smile on his face, tracing over the mark on her back gently with half lidded blue eyes.

"Doesn't matter." He'd say softly, no matter how many times she'd assured him otherwise, no matter how much she told him that this was just a one time thing.

(Even she knew it was a lie, a one time thing did not involve months and months of movie nights in his bed and stargazing on his roof)

"Stay." He'd ask every single time. But she couldn't and he knew that. She had to get up and go home, go and tell him that she had just caught the perp, that was where she was, not in bed with another man, no not at all.

He'd fall asleep soon after his plea fell from his lips, and she'd be alone with her thoughts, touch the mark on his left palm, she knew it by heart by now, the mark that cataloged his destiny as certainly as her own held hers.

They were Soul marks that matched with your true love, with the person you belonged with, True Love and all that nonsense. The only problem was that their marks didn't match, they would never match. No matter how much they wished it otherwise, they were not meant to be.

"I love you! Doesn't that mean a damn thing to you?" He'd yelled in another of their fights, but really just the same fight over and over again.

"It means we're both screwed." She snapped back, just as angry, just as livid. "It means that the one thing that is supposed to be easy, natural even I can't do right!" She screamed, throwing her wedding band at his head. The ring she'd once put on with such joy and hope, now felt constricting on her hand, like a seal of imprisonment.

"I can't even love my Soulmate right!" She'd declared. "I'm married to him and here I am sleeping with you! What kind of person does that make me?" She asked.

He'd closed the distance between them, anger still burning bright.

"An honest one. You love me. Say it." He'd snapped. She didn't blame him,he didn't have a soulmate, or at least, he didn't know who it was.

And she wanted to say it, with every fiber of her being; Emma Swan wanted to shout it to the heavens that she loved this man, this arrogant, stubborn devilishly handsome man.

But she just couldn't. She kissed him instead. She wanted to tell him everything she felt without words. Words made things real, kissing him into oblivion she could handle, real she couldn't.

She got up, got her discarded clothes and tried to put herself back together. Emma would shower the second she got home. Her home without Killian, the home she shared with her actual Soulmate, the home that hadn't felt like a home since she met Killian, the home that she desperately tried to keep, but the more she held on, the more it hurt to do so.

But her home was safety, it was certainty. Her husband was the one born to love her, to be her other half. Emma needed safety; she needed the guarantee that she would never be alone and unloved again. She'd been burned by loving someone who wasn't her soulmate before and she just couldn't do it again.

The last time she'd been left with 11 months of jail time, a pregnancy and trust issues so deep Emma didn't ever think she'd recover from it. But she had, she built a life for herself and her son. The two of them against the world…until she met him. He gave her love and a father for her son. For once in her life, Emma Swan thought everything had turned out alright.

"We're star-crossed Swan." He'd tease as she sat on his couch with a movie on, his head in her lap, looking up at her with such a carefree expression.

"Get off me you lug." She'd teased, but he'd just smirked.

"Anyone ever tell you that you have a comfy lap?" He'd say right back with a smirk.

"Watch the movie." She'd complain.

"You're a better sight." He'd breath, her skin heating up.

"We can't." She said sharply. "I'm married." She reminded him.

"I don't care."

"I do."

It turned out that all it took to change her mind was a look, a look of complete understanding. "Swan, you are something of an open book to me, and what I see is a woman desperate not to get hurt but is hurting anyway." He replied. "You don't love him, not like you love me. Complacency isn't the same as being happy." He informed her.

"He's my soulmate." She'd supplied weakly. "He's my destiny."

His gaze didn't waver; it made it harder to breath.

"Everyone makes mistakes." He reminded her with a wink. "Make a mistake with me Emma."

She couldn't.

"I love you."

And I love you, she wanted to say.

But this has gone on way too long. Her husband and son didn't deserve this, they didn't deserve for her to ruin everything they'd built over something like this, over a fling, because what else could this be? It could never go anywhere, could do nothing but cause everyone pain and suffering.

Her husband, he was a good man, he loved her son like his own. Even if it wasn't…the same as what she had with Killian, it mattered to her. What would happen if after she blew apart her marriage and her life, she showed up. Killian would leave her. She could never compete with destiny. Emma would be left with nothing, as nothing.

She had to leave, and not just for a night, and not just back to their apartment 10 minutes away from here. Emma needed distance if she was going to get over this, him. Her husband had mentioned having a child the other day and Emma was considering it.

"I'm sorry." She said sadly, her hand moving to his cheek, cupping it gently in his hand, kissing his forehead softly. It was a goodbye.

"I hope you find her someday, she's a lucky woman…She's just not me."