INVADER QUINN

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV

Invader Zim is property of Jhonen Vasquez, Nickelodeon, and Viacom

Episode 025/3-001: On The Dating Habits of Humans

Date: Monday, February 16th, 2098

Lawndale High School...

"No! NOOO! You'll pay for this," Miss Bitters said into the phone. "Well, students, despite my moral outrage, Principal Li is allowing you all to celebrate Valentine's Day today," Miss Bitters said to her class with clear distaste in her voice. "So, hand out your Valentine meats and chocolates now, before they spoil," she added.

Quinn watched with fascination as most of the class erupted into cheers and hollers of excitement. "That doesn't mean any of you get to make out on the desks! You two, pull apart now! Save that for when you get home, and then you can get yelled at by your parents," Miss Bitters said as she glared at Sandi Griffin and Jamie White.

"Well, STUDENTS, since VALENTINE's DAY was on Saturday, this means that YOU are ALLOWED to celebrate it TODAY!" Anthony DeMartino said to his history class. Stupid Angela! She should have allowed them to celebrate it on Friday, since that date was closer, but nnnoooo! Angela is too busy counting the money from another mandatory in-school chocolate sale to plan anything that would actually benefit the students! Bitch!

"So, go ahead and HAND OUT your various PUTRID LOVE MEATS and OVER-PRICED SYNTHETIC CHOCOLATE PRODUCTS!" DeMartino said, his left eye bulging. "Mr. DeMartino, did you ever have a valentine?" Brittany Taylor asked him.

DeMartino frowned. "Once. I don't like to talk about it. It ended badly," he said. "Oh, that's sad," Brittany said. "Excellent observation," DeMartino snarked. "Thank you," Brittany chirped.

Jane nudged Daria in the elbow and handed her a small box. Daria looked at her and blinked in surprise. "Here, for being my first real friend," Jane said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Oh. Um, okay," Daria said as she discretely took the small box and put it in her jacket pocket. "Thanks," she whispered. "You're welcome," Jane whispered back.

"Also, Daria... Mystic Spiral has a gig at The Zon tonight. I could really use the company," Jane said to her. "Sure," Daria replied. "Thanks. I could handle it by myself if it's on a weekend, but on a school night, I have to make sure that I can get to bed on time, just so that I can wake up late enough to get to school at the last minute," Jane explained.

"Truly, you are the greatest planner in the world," Daria snarked with her usual flat tone. Jane smirked at her. "Of course," Jane said with a false haughty tone. "Now, class, perhaps I should go over the LONG and DISTURBING history of VALENTINE'S DAY for everyone. I guess I'll start by explaining when the whole LOVE MEAT tradition began," DeMartino said with a sadistic grin.

Quinn looked around at the various humans in the hallways of Lawndale High School as she passed them by on her way to her next class, which was Mr. O'Neill's class. She shuddered to think of how he might behave on this day of "love" expressions. She noticed the how the many males attempted to be the chosen love pig of certain females.

When she entered the classroom, she was delighted to see that Mr. O'Neill was in a subdued mood, meaning that he would be mostly tolerable this class period. After the bell rang and the rest of the class took their seats, Mr. O'Neill began outlining a project for the class. "In essence, all of you will be required to be work on a multi-media project. It can be about any subject that interests you, but it must include the required media elements of sound and imagery," Mr. O'Neill said as he turned to look at the class.

Sounds easy enough, Quinn thought to herself. "You will all have until the end of the week to work on this project, and on Friday, you will all be required to show us your project for evaluation by both myself and your peers," Mr. O'Neill said. "Oh, and while I don't want to stifle creativity, I do think it is probably for the best if each presentation stays under five minutes in running time," Mr. O'Neill suggested.

"You can also work on this either by yourself or with one of your fellow classmates as a partner," Mr. O'Neill said. "So, I will give you all the rest of the class period to begin outlining the details of your project and its subject matter. In the meantime, I'm going to sit behind my desk and wallow in self pity-I mean self reflection," he said before doing just that.

Hmm, I suppose that studying the mating habits of the humans could make for an interesting project. Studying their reproductive methods and rituals could possibly give me insight into how to conquer them through subtle means, Quinn thought to herself. She glanced over at Stacey, who was busy writing something.

Interesting. Her behavior seems to have changed since last week. She almost seems un-bothered by the harassment her peers had subjected her to last week, Quinn noted mentally. I wonder... has she perhaps found a love pig of some kind? No, her peers have made it abundantly clear that they feel nothing but scorn and annoyance towards her, Quinn thought to herself before she began writing notes down for her project.

The Zon, After School...

"So," Daria began as she helped Jane untangle the cords of the amplifiers, "With Mr. O'Neill's multimedia project, I guess we'll have a somewhat more interesting assignment than usual." "Maybe, but the question is just what do you choose for the subject? What do we make it about?" Jane asked in response.

"We could make it about how Mystic Spiral fails to comprehend logic. Ice Box woman makes people leave the club. That doesn't mean they like it and that you should sing it again," Daria replied. "Trent constantly fails to understand that, but I think they're singing a different set of songs today. Max wrote a couple of them, and they actually have more than one verse," Jane said.

After getting the rest of the equipment set up, Daria and Jane made their way down to the main floor of the club. "Should we leave now and come back later, or should we stay the whole night?" Daria asked Jane. "Eh, as long as I'm able to get to bed and wake up without being too late, it doesn't matter," Jane replied.

As Mystic Spiral began testing their equipment on stage one last time, Daria noticed a young man around her age. He looked somewhat out of place in the Zon, especially since he was wearing a sweater that looked far too clean for the usual patronage of the club. He noticed Daria and gave her a small smile and a brief wave.

"So, maybe we could head over to Pizza King instead, possibly think about an idea over-hey, Dar, are you listening to me?" Jane asked her. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm listening," Daria said. "Really? How fast did I say the car was going in my story?" Jane asked her. "Um, pretty fast," Daria replied. "Ah-ha! I never mentioned a car, and I wasn't telling a story either," Jane said.

"Dammit," Daria muttered as she saw the boy slowly make his way over to them. "Oh... a new friend?" Jane asked her. "Hello," the boy said. "Hi," Daria replied hesitantly. "Um... I'm Tom," he said as he held a hand out. "Uh, Daria," Daria said as she took his hand and gently shook it.

"And I'm Calamity Jane, the fiercest artist in the west!" Jane added with a grin. "Really? How quick are you at drawing?" Tom asked her humorously. "Depends on my mood," Jane replied with a smile. "So... do you girls come here often?" Tom asked them. "Well, not really, but my brother is the lead singer of tonight's main band," Jane said.

"Oh. Uh, what are they called again?" Tom asked. "Mystic Spiral," Jane said. "Hello! We're Mystic Spiral, but we're thinking of changing the name," Trent said into the microphone as he prepared to play their first song of the night. "Don't worry, he says that all the time. Sometimes, I think that last part might actually be part of the name," Jane said.

"That's quite a long name," Tom joked. "Who shot the hippies? Who locked them in a zoo? Who gagged the beatniks? Who filled their mouths with glue? Who crushed the bohos? Who turned their work to poo? Hey, Mr. Normal, it was you!" Trent and Jesse sang into the microphone.

"Wow, they suck," Tom said with a grimace. "Yeah, and this is one of their better songs," Jane said. "Is this one of the ones that Max wrote?" Daria asked. "No, this is an oldie," Jane replied. "So, Tom," Daria said, "I don't think Jane or I have seen you around here before. Are you new to Lawndale?"

"No, I live here. I just... go to a different school than Lawndale High," Tom replied. "That explains it. He doesn't have that weariness to him that you'd find from someone who goes to a school run by Principal Li," Jane said. "Is that a good thing?" Tom asked. "Well, what school do you go to?" Daria asked him. "I... go to Fielding," Tom replied hesitantly.

"Fielding? You mean that upper-class prep school?" Jane asked. "Um... yeah," Tom replied somewhat uncomfortably. "So, what's a prep boy doing in a place like this?" Daria asked him, curious. "I figured I'd sample a bit of something normal. Why, you think a prep boy like me only goes to places that are upper crust or fancy?" Tom asked in return.

"Well, it certainly doesn't fit the image of a popular prep boy from a fancy school," Daria replied. "Huh? Popular... you know, you really shouldn't judge a book by its cover, Daria," Tom replied with a smirk. "Oh, really?" she asked him. "Yeah. And besides, I'm not that popular," he said. "No?" she asked him.

"No," Tom replied with a smirk. "So, you're an outcast?" she asked him. "I wouldn't go that far," Tom said. "I'm just... another student, to be honest," he added. "Just a face in the crowd of uniformed sardines?" Jane asked snarkily. "That's one way of putting it," Tom said. "So, do you girls like convertibles?" he asked them.

"Do you mean sofas or cars?" Jane asked him. "Cars," Tom replied. "Hmm, why? Do you have one?" Jane asked him. "No, but the roof of my car is rusting through pretty well. I could probably fool someone far enough away if I tried," Tom replied. "Really? Well, we've got to see this," Jane said with a smile.

"We do?" Daria asked her. "Sure. Besides, it might give some ideas for a new painting or two," Jane replied. "Oh, are you an artist?" Tom asked her. "Yeah," Jane replied. "What about you, Daria?" Tom asked. "Huh?" she replied. "Jane's an artist, so what about you? Are you an artist, or do you have a different passion?" Tom asked her. "Well, I do like to write," Daria said with a shrug. "Neat. What do you write?" Tom asked her. "Um... stories," Daria said.

"Cool. What kinds of stories?" Tom asked her. "Um, fiction. Spies and mystery," Daria replied nervously. Jane raised an eyebrow at Daria's behavior. "That's neat. Got anything published or are you just starting out?" Tom asked her. "I've been writing for a while, but I don't have anything published," Daria replied.

"Oh. Nothing that's finished, I guess?" Tom asked her. "I've got plenty of things that are finished," Daria replied. "Cool," Tom said. "So, have you thought about publishing them, perhaps? I mean, how many finished stories do you have? You could probably collect them into an omnibus type thing, I guess," Tom said. "Um... well, I... I just..." she trailed off, not sure how to express her feelings on seeing her work potentially being rejected by a publishing house.

"Hey, Mr. Normal, it was you!" Trent sang one last time. The crowd then cheered as the band stopped playing. "That was our first song. Our next song is Electric Cowboy. After that, we'll be taking a break before the second set begins," Trent said into the microphone.

"Do you think Trent knows that they're cheering because he isn't singing anymore?" Daria asked Jane. "Eh, there's a slim chance," Jane replied with a shrug. "But, I don't think that he cares, as long as he gets to keep singing and doing what he enjoys... even if he does kind of suck," Jane continued.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," Jane said before walking away. She was half-way to the ladies restroom when she saw a small green dog buying drinks from the bar. "No, no that is just... how the hell does that even happen?" Jane asked herself in confusion as she saw GIR drinking at least five different beverages at once before handing money to the bar tender and asking for more.

"But, wait a minute... if GIR's here, then where is Quinn?" Jane asked herself as she looked around the club. Seeing no sign of Quinn, she decided to head into the bathroom, closing the stall door and locking it as soon as she got in. "This night is getting too weird," Jane mumbled to herself as she dropped her pants and sat down on the toilet.

Quinn's Base...

Quinn walked over to a terminal. "Computer! Please gather data regarding human dating behavior. I believe that this may provide me with a key to possibly conquering them, especially if learning about their reproductive habits can help me discover a weakness," Quinn said.

"Affirmative. Beginning data retrieval," The Computer replied. Images were soon shown on the screen. "Hmm... that heart symbol does not really hold any resemblance to an actual human heart," Quinn noted. "So... holding hands... eating together... finding common interests? Dancing... watching movies together... intimacy... naked wrestling?" Quinn pondered.

"Computer, please retrieve as much information as possible on each specific subject that has been presented to me. I want it to be thorough," Quinn said. "That may take at least an hour or more, Quinn," The Computer replied. "In that case, you should get started now, instead of trying to delay," Quinn said. "Affirmative."

Back At The Zon...

"You know, you're a pretty good dancer, for a robot," Jane said to GIR. "Thanks!" GIR chirped in response as he danced on the floor. He began spinning around before performing several break-dance moves. "Doo-dee-doo! Doo-doo-dee!" he sang. "Wow, that actually sounded better than most of Mystic Spiral's songs," Jane commented.

Meanwhile, backstage, Trent clutched one of his hands over his heart. "Hey, Trent, what's wrong?" Jesse asked him. "I... I don't know," Trent replied, out of breath. "I felt... a disturbance... as though our music had been... insulted," Trent said. "Whoa," Jesse said softly. "So? People insult our music all the time," Max commented. "They do!?" Trent gasped in shock.

"Oh my god!" Trent rasped out as he fell to one knee. "Whoa, Trent!" Max said as he and Jesse knelt down and patted Trent on the back. "I think I'm gonna, like, throw up or something," Trent said before he fell face first onto the floor and started snoring. Jesse and Max stared at him for several minutes before shrugging their shoulders and heading down to the bar.

Both of them saw a large crowd gathered near the dance area. Walking over, they both saw Jane dancing with a small green dog. "Whoa, that dog's got skill," Jesse said. "Yeah. Wait... how did a dog get in here in the first place?" Max asked. "I dunno," Jesse said with a shrug.

"Um, what are we looking for out here?" Andrea asked Stacey as they rummaged through the back of an old bookstore. "This," Stacey said as she looked at the pile of strange books laying on the ground. "Some old books?" Andrea asked her. "Not just any books, but spelldrives. I've read about these things," Stacey said as she picked one up. "According to resources within the Swollen Eyeball, these things have the power to grant various requests and cast magical spells," Stacey explained.

"Um... okay," Andrea said. "Agent Mothman said he once had a small collection, but he'd used them all up within a month," Stacey said as she began to collect the various spelldrives into a pile. "Right. So, how do you know that they work?" Andrea asked her.

Stacey opened one up, showing Andrea that it was actually a strange type of computer. "Um, it looks like a laptop with a fancy outside appearance," Andrea said. "That's how they stay hidden," Stacey said. "Come on, Andrea. Most people these days don't care much for books, so if they hear about a magical computer that can use magic, they'd probably go searching for something that looks like a tower or a laptop, not a book," Stacey explained.

"Fine, whatever," Andrea said with a sigh. "Now, let's get these babies put away," Stacey said as she opened up a large suitcase and some backpacks. "Why do I get the feeling that this is going to bite us in the ass one day?" Andrea asked herself.

Date: Tuesday, February 17th, 2098

"So," Jane began as she and Daria walked to school together, "I didn't see much of you last night after we helped Trent and the others pack up." "Well... Tom drove me home in his car," Daria said. "Anything else happen?" Jane asked her. "Not really. He said hello to my mom, and then he used his rusted death trap to return to his natural habitat," Daria replied.

"How rusted is his car?" Jane asked her. "Eh, it might last another month of usage before it falls apart, leaving him stranded in the middle of the road as he sees a large semi-truck barreling towards him," Daria replied. "Impressive. Maybe I can use that image for a new painting," Jane said.

"You have to actually see the car to know what it looks like," Daria said. "Then let me join you on your next midnight drive with him," Jane replied. "So... what was up with you and GIR?" Daria asked Jane. "Oh, the robot? I don't know. He just entered The Zon and started dancing," Jane replied.

"Quinn wasn't with him?" Daria asked her. "Not that I could see," Jane replied. "Really? If I didn't know any better, I'd think of that as being weird, but I-what was that?" Daria asked as she saw movement up ahead. "What was what?" Jane asked her. "I... I thought I saw something. I think it was a dog," Daria replied.

"What kind of dog?" Jane asked her. "I don't know. It was large and black. That's all I could make out before it disappeared," Daria replied. "You sure it wasn't your imagination?" Jane asked her. "I don't know. Maybe," Daria said thoughtfully as she and Jane continued walking to Lawndale High School. As the duo passed a corner and walked across the street, a large black dog watched them from another street corner. It slowly kept pace with them until they reached the high school, after which it turned around and began making its way back to its owner.

Quinn looked around at her classmates, trying to decide which ones to use for her latest experiment. Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie are always following Sandi and Tiffany around, but that means any display of affection by them towards the females won't necessarily be a sign of the serum. They already display obvious affection towards Sandi, Quinn noted. Perhaps that Lucie girl who brought us that lice plague? What about that Anna girl? Billy Horvits or Vance Conway?

Quinn saw that Stacey was looking at her questioningly as she scanned the classroom for targets. Stacey. Ah yes, dear annoying Stacey Morgendorffer. Now, who to use as the second subject? Quinn's eyes soon fell on someone else who annoyed her. Oh yes, definitely, she thought deviously.

"Ahem," Miss Bitters said. The students all turned to look at their teacher. "What? I only said 'ahem'. Go back to your pitiful social interactions," Miss Bitters said in an annoyed tone with a raised eyebrow.

In the girl's locker room, Quinn carefully retrieved both vials of the serum from her PAK and made her way around to where Stacey's locker was located. Stacey was just pulling up her gym pants when Quinn walked past her. Stacey stared wide-eyed at Quinn. "Oh, hello there, Stacey. I certainly hope that we all have a pleasant gym class together," Quinn said woodenly.

"What are you up to?" Stacey asked her. "Me? Up to something? What would ever give you that idea?" Quinn replied with false shock. "Stay away from me," Stacey said with a warning as she finished pulling up her gym pants and began putting on her sneakers. How do I throw her off her balance? Oh, I know, Quinn thought to herself.

"Say, nice legs," Quinn said. "W-What!?" Stacey replied, startled. She lost her balance and nearly fell over before Quinn caught her. "G-Get your hands off me!" Stacey snapped at Quinn. Quinn withdrew her hands and held them up in a defensive posture. Several of the other girls made their way over to see the source of the commotion.

"I was merely trying to help you," Quinn said. "Just keep your hands off me," Stacey hissed at her. "Of course," Quinn replied before turning around and walking away. As she walked past Sandi, who was currently putting her gym shirt on, Quinn quickly patted her on the back. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sandi asked her. "You aren't popular enough to touch me."

"I'm so sorry. I just... wanted to know what popularity felt like," Quinn lied. "That's understandable, but don't do it again," Sandi warned. "Of course not," Quinn said with a bow before she quickly made her way over to the entrance of the girl's locker room to wait. "See, Sandi? I told you that everybody wants you," Tiffany said. "Of course. Who could possibly resist me?" Sandi replied. "Uh... Stacey?" Tiffany suggested. "Well of course Stacey would resist. She's into aliens and ghosts and stuff. She's weird," Sandi said.

"Yeah. Weird," Tiffany agreed. After the gym teacher called for all of the girls to head to the gym, Sandi saw Stacey walking behind some of the other girls. As they made their way into the gym, Tiffany noticed something odd about Sandi. "Um, Sandi, I don't mean to be rude, but..." Tiffany whispered, "Why were you looking at Stacey's butt?"

"What? I wasn't looking at her butt," Sandi whispered back. "You weren't?" Tiffany asked her quietly. "No. She just happened to be far enough away from me in my line of sight that it only looked that way," Sandi explained. "Oh. Sorry," Tiffany said.

"Okay. Everyone start out by running two laps around the gymnasium," Coach Walrus called out. The boys and girls began jogging around the perimeter of the gymnasium. Sandi began to feel something strange inside of her as she saw Stacey jogging up ahead. She gulped as she felt a blush rise to her cheeks.

Eventually, Sandi was able to make her way just a few feet behind Stacey, and that was when Quinn noticed that her serum was working. It wasn't noticed by anyone else except Tiffany, who first saw the way Sandi was staring hungrily at Stacey's rear. As Gym class continued, both females began to notice Sandi becoming somewhat aggressive towards anyone who got too close to Stacey, while Stacey was confused by Sandi's behavior.

At lunch, after gym class, Tiffany and Sandi sat down with Tori Jericho and Brooke. Quinn carefully studied Sandi's behavior from afar. Now, to play the waiting game. I want to start using the serum on the other humans so badly, but I have to make sure that the serum lasts longer than 24 hours. If it does, then I can start using it on a larger scale by the weekend, and after I spread it throughout the continent, the humans will be so preoccupied with fornication that they won't be able to focus on anything else, and they will be ripe for conquest, Quinn thought to herself. Their most basic instinct to ensure their continued existence will soon become the source of their downfall. I am brilliant!

Meanwhile, Stacey glanced over at Sandi now and then, noticing that the other girl was continually staring at her. "Um... Stace? Is there something going on between you and Miss Popular over there?" Daria asked her sister. "That's just it," Stacey said. "Ever since gym class, Sandi's been acting really weird around me, and I can't figure out why. I mean, I haven't said or done anything to her at all, and yet she keeps watching me like a hawk," Stacey replied.

"Huh. That is kind of weird," Jane said. "Kind of?" Stacey asked her. "Well, okay, really weird," Jane said. "Are you sure it isn't just regular weird?" Daria asked with a hint of humor in her voice. "Heh. Regular weird," Andrea said with a chuckle.

Meanwhile, at the table seating the Fashion Club, Tiffany had noticed Sandi's lack of attention to their current conversation. Brooke and Tori had both become engrossed in a discussion about winter sweaters and spring sweaters, but Sandi had been almost silent, when usually she was the one who dominated their conversations. Tiffany knew that something was up, especially when she saw Sandi looking out at the rest of the cafeteria.

"Hello? Sandi?" Tiffany asked her friend. "Huh?" Sandi replied. "You've been, like, staring out into space for a while now," Brooke said. "I have?" Sandi asked. "Yeah. Are you okay?" Tori asked her. "I-I'm fine. I'm just... scouting the lunch room to see who might be in dire need of a fashion makeover. There are so many people here who lack proper color and fabric coordination," Sandi replied.

"Like, that is so depressingly true," Tori said with a frown. "Yeah. It really is," Tiffany said in agreement. Brooke looked over at where Sandi's line of sight had been earlier. "Yeah, I see what you mean," Brooke said as she looked at the table seating Daria, Jane, Andrea, and Stacey.

Quinn's Base, After School...

"Skoodge!" Quinn shouted as she opened the front door and saw him eating pizza on the couch with GIR. "Y-Yes, Quinn?" Skoodge replied. "I shall require your assistance this evening with a most delicate experiment," Quinn said as she stuffed her disguise into her PAK. "Of course. Right away," Skoodge said as he took one last slice of pizza out of the box and devoured it.

GIR leaned over and looked behind Quinn, who still hadn't shut the door. He saw a large black dog off in the distance. GIR waved a hand a smiled. "Hi, doggy!" GIR exclaimed, causing Quinn to turn around with wide eyes and gasp as she realized that she had forgotten to close the front door. She quickly slammed the door shut.

"GIR, Skoodge! Why didn't you tell me that the front door was still open!?" Quinn shouted at them. "Sorry," Skoodge mumbled. "Come on, we have work to do!" Quinn declared as she walked over to the trash can in the kitchen and hopped inside.

Skoodge walked over to one of the windows and looked outside. He saw a large black dog outside, just near a street corner. The animal stared at the house, and Skoodge could have swore that he saw the animal's eyes flash red for a few seconds. A strange mixture of curiosity and trepidation filled Skoodge and he pondered the creature's actions.

"Skoodge! Get down here now!" Quinn shouted as she lifted her head out of the trash can elevator. "Right away!" Skoodge said as he turned to look at Quinn. He glanced back outside and saw that the animal had disappeared. "That's strange," he muttered. "Now, Skoodge!" Quinn roared. "Y-Yes, Quinn!"

The Morgendorffer Residence...

"-And this means that we'll be receiving anywhere between two to four feet of snow this weekend when Winter Storm Horace hits us," the weather woman said on the TV. "Oh joy, another blizzard," Stacey muttered before she turned off the TV and began working on the final three problems of her math homework.

An hour later, she was about to go upstairs to work on her multi-media project, but a knock at the door caught her attention. Stacey walked over to the door and looked through the peephole to see who was outside. "What the-?" she whispered to herself.

Stacey opened the door and saw Sandi Griffin standing outside. "S-Sandi? What are you doing here?" Stacey asked her, confused. "Oh, uh, I was just wondering... um, you and your sister are both, like, brains, right?" Sandi asked her. "I guess," Stacey replied. "Well, um, I was wondering if, you know, you could, like, help me with my project for Mr. O'Neill's class?" Sandi asked her.

"Uh... are you asking me to... work with you on a project?" Stacey asked her carefully. "Um, well, I like, had this idea about winter fashions, but Tiffany told me... something, I guess," Sandi said. Stacey raised an eyebrow at the other girl's behavior. Sandi usually seemed far more composed than this, and she rarely ever asked someone for help in a direct manner in public.

"You aren't playing a prank on me, are you?" Stacey asked her. "No," Sandi replied. "Hmm, okay, I'll help. I guess. So, how far along are you on your current project, and what is it about?" Stacey asked Sandi as she invited her inside. "It's nice and warm in here," Sandi said with a blissful smile. "Yes. Yes, it is," Stacey said flatly. "Now, um, what are you doing for your project, and how far along are you?" Stacey asked her again.

"My what?" Sandi asked her. "Your project. For Mr. O'Neill's class? That you asked me to help you with just now?" Stacey replied. "Oh, um... that. Yeah, uh, what about it?" Sandi asked her. "What is it about, and how far along are you?" Stacey asked her a third time.

"Um... well, I have, like, an idea for it," Sandi said. "You haven't done anything at all, have you?" Stacey asked her. "No," Sandi replied sadly. "Well, I'm already working on my project, so I guess we can work on mine together. Of course, you have to put in your share of work," Stacey said as she led Sandi upstairs.

"This is a spelldrive," Stacey said as she showed one of the old machines to Sandi. "Um.. it's a book?" Sandi asked her. "It looks like a book," Stacey said. "But... Ta-Da!" She opened the latch to show that the spelldrive was a laptop. "See? It's actually a portable computer system that uses magic," Stacey explained.

"See, each drive contains at least one hundred spells and an equal number of reversals, but each spell requires a certain amount of energy, and each drive has an indeterminate amount of energy in it. I have each drive labeled, such as S-01, and S-02, and so on," Stacey explained as she booted up her desktop computer.

"I already have a slideshow with several paragraphs and photographs of the drives, and I just need to add some video of one of them in action to really make my project complete," Stacey said with a grin. "Um... right," Sandi said as she stared at Stacey's chest. Stacey had taken off her black jacket and was wearing a black T-Shirt. "Now, unfortunately, I haven't found a way to recharge any of them yet, so I've only been using the spelldrives to do research on their spells. But, once I can find a way to recharge them, I'm going to start casting spells and stuff in no time!" Stacey exclaimed.

"Um... what if a spell backfires or you misread it?" Sandi asked her. "Um... I guess I'll just use the reversal spell to counteract it," Stacey said with a shrug. "Oh. Okay," Sandi said in reply, fidgeting as she tried to control herself. As Stacey turned around and bent over to pick up a box, Sandi felt her control slipping.

"So, I was thinking about painting a large metallic bird, one that's also part car or something, flying away into the sunset as the people wave to it," Jane said. "Well... that is a neat idea," Daria commented. "But... I've never paid much attention to cars, and I'm not sure what kind of car to make it," Jane said with a frown. "Well, you could always-" "Sandi, get off me!"

Daria and Jane whipped their heads around and looked at the door. "Did Stacey say... Sandi?" Jane asked. "I think she did," Daria replied. "When did Sandi get inside your house?" Jane asked her. "More importantly, why is Sandi inside my house?" Daria asked.

"Daria! Jane! Someone, help!" Stacey cried from her room. Daria and Jane quickly sped out of the room and through the hallway. "Stacey, what's-" Daria's jaw dropped when she saw Sandi Griffin pinning Stacey to the ground, trying to pull Stacey's clothes off. "Don't be afraid, I won't bite... much," Sandi said salaciously. "Stop! Stop! Get away from me!" Stacey cried as she tried to push Sandi off of her.

Daria rushed forward and grabbed Sandi, with Jane helping her. "Get off my sister!" Daria snapped at the girl. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that no means no!?" Jane asked as she restrained the girl. Daria quickly ran over and knelt down by her sister, who was now curled up into a ball, sobbing.

"Jane, get Sandi properly restrained," Daria ordered. Jane nodded her head and forcefully dragged the younger girl out of the room with her. Daria turned to look back at her crying sister. "Stacey?" Daria asked her. Daria put her arms around Stacey brought her into a hug.

"So, what do we do with her?" Jane asked Daria as they circled Sandi, who was tied to a chair in the kitchen. "Well... we should call the police and report an attempted rape, but something about this doesn't seem right," Daria said. "Of course it doesn't seem right. Miss Popular here just tried to molest your sister," Jane commented. "No, I mean this whole thing seems wrong. Why would Sandi even want to do something like this to my sister?" Daria asked.

"Because she's popular and she gets whatever she wants," Jane said. "But... she already has the Three J's, and as long as I've been in Lawndale, Sandi has never displayed any signs that she's capable of something like this," Daria said. "That's as long as you've been here, Daria. I've lived in Lawndale my whole life," Jane said.

"Okay, and has she ever shown herself to be capable of this before now?" Daria asked her. "Um, I don't know," Jane replied. "You don't know?" Daria asked her. "Well, I've never really interacted very much with her," Jane explained. "But what made her snap like this?" Daria asked herself. "Well, Stacey did say that Sandi was acting weird after Gym class," Jane said.

"During and after, but not before," Daria said as a thought struck her. "Jane, we need to find out if anything unusual happened during or before gym class," Daria said. "From who, Stacey?" Jane asked her. "No. Sandi," Daria said. She turned to look at Sandi, who seemed to have calmed down.

"Uncover her mouth," Daria said. "Yuck!" Sandi spat after Jane removed the dinner cloth from around her mouth. "Okay, why did you try to molest my sister?" Daria asked her. "Huh?" Sandi asked. "Sandi, why did you assault Stacey?" Daria asked her. "I-I don't know. I just... I couldn't help it! Ever since gym class, I've been feeling this... feeling towards her!" Sandi cried.

"Okay, what about before gym class?" Daria asked her. "Um... nothing," Sandi replied honestly. "Did anything unusual happen during gym class today?" Daria asked her. "Well, before gym class, while we were in the locker room, there was this commotion. Stacey had yelled at Quinn not to touch her, and then a minute later, Quinn patted my back because she wanted to know what popularity felt like," Sandi replied.

"Wait... Quinn?" Daria asked her. "Uh-huh," Sandi replied. "And you started feeling strange after Quinn touched you?" Jane asked her. "Yeah. Hey, Quinn must have, like, injected me with something when she patted my back! But why?" Sandi asked her. "That's a question for another day, but at least we know you aren't doing this on purpose," Daria said.

"Does this mean I can go home?" Sandi asked. "Not yet. First, I'm going over to Quinn's house to ask her how to reverse the effect of whatever she did to you and Stacey. Jane, I need you to stay here and keep an eye on them," Daria said as she made her way over to the front door.

"Keep both of them away from each other until I return," Daria said before she closed the door behind her. "Sure," Jane replied before she turned back to look at Sandi. "Um... can I, like, have a glass of water or something?" Sandi asked Jane. "I'll go find a sippy cup," Jane said.

Quinn's Base...

"Yes," Quinn said with a grin. "Once this has been synthesized, I can begin pumping it into the human's food and water supplies. Earth will soon be mine." "Warning. Proximity Alert! Someone's at the door," The Computer announced. "Show me!" Quinn demanded.

A video monitor descended and showed Daria knocking at the front door. "Oh, it's that Daria girl," Skoodge said. "Yes, but what could she... uh-oh," Quinn said with a gulp. "Um, is something wrong?" Skoodge asked her. "Skoodge, I need you to stay down here until I return. I will deal with this loathsome parasite by myself," Quinn said as she walked over to an elevator and stepped inside.

When she entered the living room, she saw Daria tying the arms of the robot parents in a knot before scowling at her. "Oh, how embarrassing!" Robo-Mom said. "Honey, you really need to make new friends," Robo-Dad said. "Hello... Quinn," Daria said menacingly. "Uh... hello, Daria. Is there a reason that you are assaulting my robot parents?" Quinn asked her in reply.

"They were annoying me," Daria said. "I see. So, why are you in my house?" Quinn asked her. "Don't play stupid, Quinn. I want an antidote to whatever you put in or on Sandi and Stacey today. I want it now, or so help me, I will make you regret ever being hatched or engineered or whatever the process was that made you," Daria said darkly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Quinn lied. "Sandi came over to my house a little while ago and sexually assaulted my sister because you injected her with something. Give me something to reverse it," Daria demanded. "If I refuse?" Quinn asked haughtily. "You won't," Daria replied with a smirk. "Oh, I won't? Really?" Quinn asked her. "Really," Daria said.

"And, tell me, why is that?" Quinn asked her. "Because I convinced GIR to give me the access codes to your base and a full list of override codes for your defenses," Daria said. "You're bluffing!" Quinn snapped. "Oh, am I? You know, GIR was at The Zon last night. He was all by himself, and he can be very easily persuaded when given food," Daria said.

"C-Curse yoouuuuuuu!" Quinn roared. "The antidote. Now, Quinn!" Daria demanded. "F-Fine! I'll go make one for you," Quinn said as she turned around. "Hold it! I'm coming with you," Daria said. "W-What!?" Quinn cried as Daria stepped onto the elevator next to her. "I'm not stupid, Quinn," Daria said as they descended into the lab.

Both females stepped off of the circular pad and saw Skoodge staring at them. "Another one?" Daria asked. "Um... hi," Skoodge said with some uncertainty in his voice. "Don't mind him. He's just an inspector sent by The Tallest to monitor my mission's progress," Quinn said. "Um... okay," Daria said. "Ahem, Skoodge, um, Daria here needs an antidote to that serum I accidentally exposed to her sister and another female before it was ready," Quinn said.

"Quinn, you exposed deliberately it to them," Daria corrected her. "I, um, I-" "Cut the crap and just make an antidote already," Daria said. Skoodge saw the fear in Quinn's eyes as Daria took a step towards the female Irken. Interestingly, Daria and Quinn were both very close in height, although Quinn's antennae rose above Daria's head. This girl could probably intimidate a Tallest, despite her height, Skoodge thought to himself.

Quinn turned away and immediately began working on synthesizing an antidote. "Skoodge, help me with this. The faster we work, the faster we can finish," Quinn said. "Right," Skoodge said with a salute. Daria watched both of them carefully.

Jane held a picture up to Sandi. "Now, what do you think of this picture?" Jane asked her. "It's a picture of a car next to a mailbox," Sandi said. "Uh-huh. Okay, now, what about this one?" Jane asked as she showed Sandi another picture. "That's a bicycle leaning against a fence," Sandi said.

"Okay. Now, what about this one?" Jane asked. "That's the first picture," Sandi snapped. "How are you so sure?" Jane asked her. "It's the same car next to the same mailbox," Sandi said as she glared at Jane. "Right. Now, what about this picture?" Jane asked.

"That's the second one again!" "Okay, now what about this one?" Jane asked. "That's the first one again!" Sandi exclaimed. "Hmm, what about this one?" Jane asked. "That's the-oh, that's a cone of ice cream," Sandi said. "Yes, Sandi. A cone of ice cream," Jane said firmly.

Quinn held a vial of serum out to Daria. "This is the antidote?" Daria asked her. "Of course it is! You just watched us make it," Quinn retorted. "Okay. How do I apply it to them?" Daria asked Quinn. "Just rub some of it on their backs or arms or wherever. It isn't immediate, though, so give it a little bit of time," Quinn said. "And if it doesn't work?" Daria asked. "It will work. I am Quinn, and everything I do is guaranteed to work flawlessly," Quinn replied. "Right, but if it doesn't work... I'll be back," Daria said with a warning tone.

Quinn watched silently as Daria made her way to an elevator and ascended. "Whew!" she exclaimed as she turned around and leaned against a table. "Um... why exactly did we agree to her demands?" Skoodge asked her. "A small price to pay for peace of mind," Quinn replied. "She scares you, doesn't she?" Skoodge asked her. Quinn raised an eyebrow at him. "... Yes," she replied reluctantly.

"Okay, I have the antidote, and I-Jane, what are you doing?" Daria asked her friend after she entered the house and made her way into the kitchen. "I'm drawing," Jane said as she showed Daria her sketch pad. "I see. Anyway, I have the antidote, so all I have to do is apply it to Sandi and Stacey's skin," Daria said as she opened the cap on the vial and smeared some of the serum on her finger.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sandi asked Daria as she approached her. "I'm curing you of that stuff Quinn put in or on you," Daria said. "Hey, unpopular people can't touch popular people," Sandi said. "You tried to touch my sister," Daria said. "That's because of the stuff that Quinn put in me!" Sandi retorted.

"And this stuff will make it go away, so that you never get those urges around my sister again," Daria said. "Sandi, this is for your own good," Daria added as she smeared the serum on Sandi's arms. "Now, I'm going to go apply this to Stacey," Daria said as she made her way over to the stairs.

As soon as Daria entered Stacey's room, she saw the younger girl sitting on the bed with her legs pulled up and her chin resting on her knees. "Hey, Stace. I have something that I need to apply to your skin," Daria said as she put some more serum on her finger and reached for her sister. Stacey's eyes widened at the sight of Daria moving closer, and she shifted away.

"Don't touch me!" Stacey pleaded. "Stacey, I need to put this on you. It's the antidote for whatever Quinn put on you and Sandi," Daria said. "Did you say... Quinn did this? Quinn caused this to happen? That green-skinned bitch!" Stacey roared. "Calm down. I have to apply this to your skin or it won't work," Daria said as she grabbed Stacey's arm and began smearing the serum her sister.

"There," Daria said as she reattached the cap to the vial. "I'll be keeping this somewhere safe, just in case," Daria said as she put the vial in one of her jacket's pockets. "Daria... did you beat up Quinn for me?" Stacey asked her as she sat down on the bed next to her. "No. I did threaten her, but otherwise I didn't do anything," Daria replied.

"How did you get her to make an antidote?" Stacey asked her. "I threatened her," Daria replied simply. "With what?" Stacey asked. "I told her that Jane and I had managed to persuade GIR into giving us a list of her base's access codes and defensive override codes," Daria said. "D-Did you really?" Stacey asked her. "Indeed, I did tell her that," Daria replied as she put an arm around her sister.

"No, I meant did you really get those codes from GIR?" Stacey asked her. "Let's just leave that a secret for now," Daria said. "Oh, come on! I could really use those the next time I break into her base," Stacey said. "Sorry, but if I were to give you any such codes, you'd just get yourself caught again," Daria replied.

"Fine," Stacey said with a sigh. "Okay. Jane and I are gonna go untie Sandi and send her on her way. Do you want to come downstairs?" Daria asked her. "No. I'd rather stay up here until it's time to go to school tomorrow," Stacey replied tiredly. "Okay. I'm gonna stop by Jane's place quickly and then I'll come back home. I'll see you after I get back," Daria said as she got up and walked out of Stacey's room.

Two Hours Later...

"Hey, Stace. I'm back," Daria said as she stepped into Stacey's room. "What took you so long?" Stacey asked her. "Oh, I just had to make a quick stop somewhere on the way back from Jane's place," Daria replied. "Okay," Stacey said.

Quinn's Base...

"It's gone! It's all gone!" Quinn cried out in dismay. "Skoodge, where are you!?" Quinn cried out as she searched her ruined lab. She had left the base alone just long enough to make a quick run to a general store for some water jugs. When she came back, the lab was in ruins, and Skoodge was nowhere to be found. Quinn walked over to a closet and opened the door, revealing Skoodge, bound and gagged on the floor.

Removing the gag from his mouth, Quinn asked him what had happened. "That girl! She came back, entered the lab and just obliterated everything! I tried to stop her, but she was stronger than she looked," Skoodge explained. "But where is the serum!?" Quinn asked. "She used one of the de-atomizers to destroy all of it," Skoodge said.

Untying Skoodge, Quinn walked around her damaged lab until she saw a note lying next to a terminal. She picked up the note and read it aloud. "Dear Quinn, this is a warning. If you ever do something like this to my sister again, I will make you suffer. I will plunge you into a nightmare world from which there is no return. Do not fuck with me. Love, Daria Morgendorffer."

"Daariiaaa! Daarriiaaaa!" Quinn cried out in anger. "Curse yoouuuuuuuuuuu!" Skoodge stepped back quietly into an elevator and made his way upstairs while Quinn continued to agonize over her most recent setback. "Cuuuurrrse yooooooouuuuuuuuuu!"

Ending Theme: Cyberbird, by Gabriela Robin/Yoko Kanno.

Here it is; the first episode of Invader Quinn Season/Section 03. A word of warning, though, as the third season/section will be a little bit darker and a bit more dramatic and angsty in areas than the majority of the previous two seasons/sections.

Also, the next episode deals with Stacey testing out the spelldrives and accidentally cursing Daria.