A Letter of Apology
Dear Al,
I'm helping you, you know. Your big heart will be your undoing, Alphonse. You just can't keep opening your heart to anyone who looks defenseless. It's too dangerous, and I'm trying to protect you from getting too attached.
The fact that you're not speaking to me clearly spells out that you're angry at me, and I can't express enough how sorry I am. We're siblings, and we're prone to have our little disagreements, but you should have known that you were going too far. Fiona was off-limits; I even said so myself. Even knowing how much I disliked her, you ignored me, and now, you're paying for it. Equivalent Exchange, right?
Even so, I'd wish you'd talk to me. I'm your big brother; I know what's best, sometimes. We've been through so much, Al. I hope you won't let one mistake ruin this. Be grateful that I didn't just kick her out in the rain. She was in my bed, Al! What the hell was I supposed to do? Wait until she was clawing through my pants? Things could have gotten way worse than they ended up to be. You know I'd never intentionally try to hurt you. What happened was for the good of your own health. I know it doesn't seem that way now, the way you've been deliberately avoiding any opportunity to talk with me.What will convince you to talk to me again? Do you want to me to club myself in the face with my right arm? Jump off of a building?
Even worse, drink milk?
I'm really, really sorry, Al. Don't let her mess us up.
Sincerely,
Ed
P.S. I'm sorry for taking Fiona to the animal shelter.
Yeah, I totally made that predictable, didn't I?