Author's note: this tale is set sometime before the first of the TNG Movies: Generations while Data still does not have his emotion chip installed.
Data's Haunted Halloween
"I have decided to construct a haunted house for a Halloween celebration," Data announced to the five others sitting at the poker table with him as Commander Riker dealt the cards out to them.
"You want to construct a what?" Riker asked.
"I believe he said a haunted house," Deanna replied with a smile.
"There is no such thing," Worf said brusquely, and snapped up his cards.
"Why would you want to do that, Data?" Geordi asked.
"I have been studying Earth born traditions to better understand the beliefs and philosophies which underlie basic human emotions. Fear is the strongest and most debilitating of them and of all fears, the most primal one is the fear of death. The holiday of Halloween or All Hallows Eve was created to deal with that fear. Haunted houses were a core element of those celebrations."
"Are we going to talk of such ridiculous ideas or are we going to play poker?" Worf demanded irritably.
"I think we can do both, Worf," Deanna replied amiably. "I'll open with 10 credits."
"I'll see your bet and raise you another 10," Worf answered. They looked to Geordi whose turn it was next.
Geordi kept his eyes trained on his own cards, so that his visor wouldn't reveal to him the hands of his opponents. The one time he had accidentally peeked, Deanna had immediately thrown her cards down and glared at him. It was hard to fool an empath. Surprisingly she didn't catch onto bluffs quite so easily. She said she felt when someone was tense, but couldn't tell whether it was because they were bluffing or not. He wasn't so sure. He had two pairs, jacks high - not a bad hand. He slid 20 credits into the pot.
Data calculated the odds quickly of what the others might be holding based on the cards that appeared in his own hand and the ones that lay face up on the table. His three of a kind was likely to win, but not guaranteed. He picked up 30 credits and dropped them in the center. "I will see your bets and raise another 10."
"It's getting a little rich in here," Riker commented with a slow smile. "Okay, I'll call and raise another five. "So, where do you plan to build this haunted house of yours, Data?"
"I thought I would use the holodeck," Data replied.
"I have to fold," Deanna said with a sigh.
Worf frowned at his hand, "As do I."
Geordi paused uncertainly. Two pair was still a good hand, and Riker was known to bluff, but the cards that lay open on the table before him could result in a flush if Riker held the right card. Geordi's luck hadn't been going well so far. He wavered uncertainly for a moment. "Oh what the heck, I'll call." He tossed in the additional fifteen credits.
Data looked from Geordi to Commander Riker, trying to read their facial expressions. He was fairly certain that Geordi was not bluffing, but he was less certain about Riker who was known for doing that very thing. It was possible that Riker held the missing card for the flush. It was equally possible that he did not. "I'll call," he said deciding the risk was acceptable, and put in the other five.
"Read'em and weep, gentlemen," Riker said laying down his cards, all hearts. He chuckled and swept the pile towards him.
"If there's anything I hate, it's a bad winner," Geordi said.
"How does one win badly?" Data asked.
"By gloating," Geordi replied. "You know, I remember trick or treating once when I was a kid. We did it as part of a history class. We even wore costumes."
"Yes, costumes are traditional. I am hoping you will all participate," Data said.
"It sounds like fun," Deanna said.
"It sounds like a waste of time," Worf growled.
"Data, if you build it, we will come," Riker said with a smile.
Data nodded in response. "Excellent, Commander."
The next day, Geordi buzzed the door at the Holodeck finding it locked. In a moment, the door opened and Data stood before him, blocking his way.
"Hi," Geordi said, "You've been awfully busy in there. Can I take a peek?"
"I would prefer that you did not, Geordi, although I am gratified by your interest. I should have the program completed for the event tomorrow evening. I will be sending invitations today which of course includes all the senior staff members and any crew members you would like to invite."
"So we can bring a date then?"
"If you so choose. You have been spending time with Yeoman Alicia Torres, I believe."
"Can't slip much past you, can I, Data?"
Data cocked his head curiously, "Why would you want to slip something past me?"
Geordi just shook his head, "Never mind. Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with."
"I am glad to hear it. I think the results should be illuminating."
"Illuminating? Well, I don't know about that, but I'm hoping it will be fun at least. We could use a good party around here, and I think your costume idea is great."
"Have you decided what you will wear, Geordi?"
"I'm not sure yet, but I have a couple ideas I'm thinking about. Guess, I'll keep it a surprise."
"Mine will also be a surprise," Data replied. "If you will excuse me, I have more work to do here before I must go on duty."
"Sure… no problem. Guess, I'll see you later."
The door to the holodeck closed between them again, leaving Geordi locked out. "Wow, he's really taking this seriously," Geordi mumbled and headed for Engineering.
The next evening, a line formed at the door to the holodeck. The time on their handwritten invitations said, 'Festivities will begin at 10 pm. Haunted House to open at Midnight."
"You'll notice, Data used the antiquated time references in his invitation," Captain Picard noted, "Nice touch, I thought."
"I'm glad to see you here, Captain," Counselor Troi smiled at him. She wore a short-skirted old-fashioned nurse's costume. "You don't often take the time to join in our little social get-togethers."
"Well, I could hardly ignore a handwritten invitation, now could I?" he waved the card at her displaying its elegant inked calligraphy. "It's practically a work of art."
Riker smiled at him, "A pirate, sir?"
Picard smiled back under his plumed hat, "My alter ego, Number One. In an earlier time, I'm sure I would have opted for a life at sea. Better not mess with me, I'm armed." He patted the curved scimitar at his waist. "And what are you supposed to be in that white toga?"
"Apollo, of course, the Greek God. He was quite the charmer, I understand."
"Of course," Picard smiled ruefully. "It seems we're all following Data's instructions to wear something that reflects our inner personalities. Even you, Mr. Worf. Well chosen."
Worf hung at the back of their group, glowering. He wore the battlegear of a Trojan warrior. "I can't believe I am here," he growled, "if you had not insisted upon my participation, Captain…"
"Oh come now, Mr. Worf. We're just here to have a good time. Relax and try to enjoy yourself," Picard admonished him. "Ah, Beverly," his eyes lit up as Dr. Crusher joined them, "Don't you look lovely. An ancient Egyptian princess, I believe?"
"It was Data's suggestion. I really couldn't think of anything and he said this was a traditional Halloween costume." She sighed and flipped her long golden skirt about, then moved her hands to the black wig she was wearing. "I feel a bit ridiculous."
"Nonsense, it's quite flattering." Picard checked the time on the ancient clock staring at them in front of the holodeck door. "Nearly ten o'clock, I see."
"Oh good, we're not late," Geordi called out rushing towards them with Yeoman Torres on his arm. The two were dressed in matching black outlining the image of a glowing skeleton on their faces and bodies.
"A pair of Skeletons?" Riker asked.
"Data said to pick something that reflects our inner selves."
Riker laughed. "Well I guess it doesn't get more inner than that."
The minute hand of the clock moved to the twelve position and the clock began to chime. When it had finished ten bongs, the door to the holodeck opened.
"Velcome," Data greeted them. His normally pale gold skin had been painted white with a slight greenish cast. His lips were black and he wore a formal tuxedo with a long black cape. He smiled revealing a pair of sharp white fangs.
"Count Dracula, I presume," Captain Picard said.
"I am honored that you recognize me, Captain," Data replied with a thickly applied Transylvanian accent and a flourish of his cape. "Velcome to my home."
"I read your book," Picard told him. He led the way inside and the others followed. They stood up to their shins in white mist inside a cavernous room filled with lit candelabras held in the arms of grinning gargoyles. A manservant stood waiting for them with a tray of drinks. The man was deathly pale with red eyes, "Drink, sir?" he deadpanned and thrust the tray before them. Picard helped himself to a glass of the bubbling green liquid. He sipped it cautiously.
"Ah," he said to the others, "a reasonable facsimile of Aldorean champagne."
Deanna and Beverly also took glasses before the dead man with the tray moved past them. Another deceased servant appeared with a different tray. The items on his looked like eyeballs. Picard shrugged, took one and popped it into his mouth.
"Oh, Deanna, you have to eat one of these eyeballs," he told her, pointing to the plate.
She reluctantly picked up one of the slimy things and grimaced at it.
"Trust me," he said.
She made a face but put it into her mouth. Her eyes widened. "Oh! It's chocolate!" She took two more before the man got away. "Mmmmm," she mumbled her mouth full, "Delicious."
As it turned out, each tray held some seemingly obnoxious item such as severed fingers or plump cockroaches, but all turned out to be familiar foods once tasted. The room was now filled with costumed people, helping themselves to food and drink. Organ and violin music played in the background.
"These spiders are really good, Data," Geordi told him. "I want your recipe."
"I am Count Dracula," Data informed him with his Transylvanian accent and lifted chin. "And I see that you are among the living dead, Mr. Skeleton."
"Yeah, that's right. Just call me Boney," he laughed.
"Ah. Boney. Good one," Data replied remaining in character. "You and Boney Torres have no blood for me then."
"Fraid not," Geordi replied. "Maybe that nurse over there could help you out." He pointed to Deanna.
"Ah, yes, she does look most appetizing." Data spread his cape and swooped in her direction. When he pretended to bite her neck, she squealed and laughed.
"I hope I did not frighten you, my child, but sometimes my desire for blood overwhelms me," Data said dramatically. "I vill try to control myself. At least until midnight."
"Why?" Deanna was still laughing. "What happens at midnight?"
"Ah.. midnight is the witching hour - when the souls return to haunt the living, the dead walk the earth and demons come forth from the dark. Then you shall see the true meaning of Halloween."
Data swooped off again in another direction.
"Oh my," Deanna said to Captain Picard who had been standing nearby when Data 'attacked' her, "he's really into this, isn't he?"
"He certainly is," Picard agreed. "Makes it rather fun, doesn't it?"
"He better not try anything like that with me," Worf growled.
"I wouldn't worry, Mr. Worf. I doubt a vampire would enjoy Klingon blood. At least, I don't think he would. Though it's really hard to say, I suppose."
"This is ridiculous." Worf rolled his eyes.
The senior staff spent the next couple of hours mingling and conversing. The only person who appeared not to be having a good time was Worf who continued to glower and drink heavily.
Count Dracula reappeared before Captain Picard. For a brief moment, Data dropped his persona. "It is nearly midnight, Captain," he reminded him.
"Yes, don't worry, Data. I'll gather them up."
Picard waved at Riker and Troi, to join him. "Data wants my Senior Staff members to be the first to enter his haunted house. We'll need Worf, Dr. Crusher and Mr. La Forge, too. Have them come over here."
"What about Geordi's date, Yeoman Torres?" Riker inquired.
"Geordi can take her in later. Data was very specific about this."
Riker nodded and went to get the other officers. Moments later, the six of them were gathered together. Data returned to stand before them, once again fully the dreaded vampire host.
"Now, my dear guests, you shall experience the full meaning of All Hallows Eve." Data swept his arm dramatically and the stone wall before them transformed into a pair of huge wooden doors that opened creakily for them.
"Shall we?" Picard gestured and walked toward the entrance. The others laughed a bit nervously and went through the doors, which then slammed shut behind them. They stood in a long stone walled corridor.
"So what makes this a haunted house?" Worf scowled looking around.
"Let's find out," Picard said. Worf nodded and took point as was his habit. The captain was next with Beverly beside him while Troi, Riker and Geordi followed up from behind.
"This is kind of boring so far," Beverly commented and then she screamed. A disembodied hand had seized her ankle and was holding on. Picard went to grab it but the hand released her then it twinkled its fingers at them and disappeared. She laughed. "Well, that caught me by surprise."
"There'll probably be a lot more," Geordi said, "he's been working on this for awhile."
Suddenly, the stones in the walls were looking at them with hundreds of staring implanted eyeballs.
"Yuck," Deanna said in disgust. The eyes followed them as they moved ahead. When they got to the next door way, the door changed into an open mouth with dripping fangs. A big wet tongue rolled out to meet them. "I am not walking on that." Deanna said. She turned to go back. Then the floor behind her rose to meet the ceiling and blocked them in.
"Looks like this is a one-way street," Riker observed. "Come on, Deanna, you know we can't get hurt in here. The holodeck failsafe will make sure of that."
"I'm not afraid," she said huffily, "just repulsed."
Worf stepped onto the tongue. It wriggled a bit then lay flat again. He shook his head and moved through the gaping mouth. Picard took Beverly by the hand and stepped onto the floppy wet tongue and on through the mouth. Riker and Troi followed as she made noises of disgust. Geordi chuckled and came on through.
"It's not funny, Geordi," Deanna said, wiping her feet on the ground.
"Depends on your point of view," he answered.
Deanna dragged her shoes again, but they made a crunching noise now. "What is that?" She looked down and floor seemed to be moving. Something crawled up her bare leg and she let out a startled screech. The others noticed as well and swatted at themselves as a buzzing noise grew louder and louder.
"Move!" Picard yelled and they took off running down the corridor crunching a thick layer of insects as they went. Gradually the crunching faded and they were back on an empty stone floor again. As they walked on, mist rolled in around their feet and took on undulating shapes that at times looked like heads and limbs. Unintelligible whispers followed them and cold clammy fingers in the mist slid across the backs of their necks making them shiver.
"This is really unpleasant," Beverly said and hung onto Picard's hand firmly.
"Agreed. But I think it's intended to be."
Suddenly all the light vanished and they were left in absolute darkness. "You all right, Beverly?" Picard asked. Only silence followed. He had her by the hand so he knew she was still there. Her other hand gripped his lower arm suddenly. "It's all right, I'm here," he said. She didn't answer. For some reason, she couldn't hear him, he realized. He put his free arm around her and she stopped trembling. Sensory deprivation. None of them could hear or see each other. The seconds dragged on painfully slow. Probably only a minute had gone by when the light returned but it felt like an eternity. The eyes of his officers looked quite large. He and Beverly were lucky that they had been holding hands. Those who had not, had found themselves completely alone in the dark.
"Can you all hear me now?" he asked calmly. They each nodded. "Just a sound dampener," he told them. "Shall we see what's next?"
Riker took a deep breath. "Not sure I'm looking forward to it."
"You just have to get in the spirit of things, Commander," Geordi told him with a grin. Then he jumped back. "Whoa!"
A snake had slid out from a hole in the wall and dropped next to his feet. More snake heads appeared and undulated their bodies down the walls. "Let's get out of here," Riker said, and they broke off running again, leaving the hissing snakes behind. "Have we covered all the Halloween cliches yet?" he asked tiredly when they slowed to a walk again.
"Well let's see, " Geordi said, "We've had disembodied limbs, a mouth that devoured us, bugs, ghosts, snakes… a pretty good start but there's plenty of things left to pick from. I'm guessing witches next, what do you think?"
Picard froze in place, "I think you're absolutely correct, Geordi." Before him sat a crouched figure cloaked in black wearing a tall pointed hat. A black cauldron bubbled on a wood-stoked fire between them.
"Come closer, my dear, I have a present for you, Captain," the crone's voice called to him. Her head tipped up to reveal a deeply wrinkled visage and black eyes. "Come, come, fear not," she beckoned reaching out a bone-like, long nailed hand. Picard smiled at the others and moved forward. "Yes, yes, come see," she insisted. When he came close, she gestured at the cauldron, "Look there, your gift lies within."
He looked down into the boiling liquid, green and gooey, and smelling of sulfur. It made his eyes sting a bit. He blinked in surprise. It shouldn't sting, if the safeguards were working properly.
"Look closer, Captain," she said punctuating it with a cackle, "your future lies there."
His eyes were actually starting to burn now, and he meant to back away but then something took shape in the liquid that caught his breath. The Enterprise 1701 D, crashed and broken on a distant world, with a line of flame moving toward it from behind, burning away everything in its path until his ship and the world itself were gone in a fiery flash.
"What is this?" he asked.
"A glimpse, just a glimpse of your future, Captain. Your worst fear realized. Something to give you nightmares," she cackled, "My gift to you."
The figure vanished. The others moved up beside him, and looked into the cauldron, but the image had vanished as well. "What are you looking at?" Riker asked. Picard shook his head. "Just another of Data's surprises. Come on, let's keep going. I'm getting a bit tired of this."
"I agree," Worf said. "This is pointless."
They strode forward a little faster now, hoping to get through Data's maze quickly. When they rounded a corner, a troop of four armed warriors blocked their path. The soldiers were dressed like Worf in Trojan battle attire. Each of them pulled a sword. With a loud yell, they charged. Worf pulled his sword and rushed to meet them. The corridor was narrow enough that only two of the soldiers could fight him at once. He cut one down with a slash across his neck, and blocked the thrust of the second. When a third rushed forward, he punched him in the face and the man went down. Riker moved ahead to assist, but Picard stopped him. "Wait," he said. "This is for Worf."
The ensuing struggle was brief but bloody. When the four soldiers lay dead at his feet, Worf stepped back and let out a primal battle cry of victory.
Picard waited a moment longer for Worf to calm down before approaching. "Well done, Mr. Worf," he said at last. Worf turned toward him.
"I don't know why I got so caught up. The holodeck would have made sure that I would not be harmed."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't put it to the test, Mr. Worf."
"It would not have mattered either way."
"No? Then why are you bleeding?"
Worf looked down at himself to see a small cut across his arm and another on his chest. He supposed that with his adrenaline running high, he hadn't felt the injuries.
"Computer, end program," Picard ordered.
"Unable to comply," the computer responded. "Program is on lock-out by Commander Data and cannot be altered without his authorization code."
"What's going on?" Worf asked.
"Good question," Picard answered, "but until we get out of here, I suggest we take everything that happens very seriously." He pulled out the scimitar at his waist. "Keep your sword at the ready, Mr. Worf. Number One, I suggest you and Geordi arm yourselves as well."
Riker nodded and grabbed a sword from one of the fallen soldiers, as did Geordi. Troi looked at Beverly and said, "I think we should do the same."
Each of the women took up a sword.
He glanced at Beverly and her sword, "Do be careful with that, Doctor."
"Don't worry about me."
Picard nodded at the women. They had been through defensive fighting as had all his officers. He needn't be concerned. "Very well, let's see what else we have to deal with in here."
Turning another corner, they came across their next challenge. Sticky webs stretched from one wall to the next for as far as they could see. Worf cut away at them, but found his sword quickly became covered and finally so entangled he could barely pull it free. "This isn't working," he said panting with effort. "It will take forever to cut through this."
"I have an idea," Riker said. "The fire back there under the witch's cauldron."
Picard nodded. "Worth a try."
Riker and Geordi headed back at a trot. Before long they returned, each holding a burning piece of wood with one end wrapped in cloth taken from Riker's toga. They held the flames up to the webs and were rewarded when the webs caught fire and melted away one by one. They moved forward clearing a path. Finally the webs were gone. They smiled in relief, then stopped in their tracks when a huge pair of red multi-faceted eyes appeared out of the dark ahead. The eyes moved toward them revealing their owner to be a gigantic black spider that filled the width of the corridor before them.
"Oh boy," Geordi said.
The thing came at them. "Watch out for those pincers," Riker called out. Geordi swung his sword toward a leg. It bounced back, barely nicking the hard carapice. Riker thought he saw an opening in the jointed area and stabbed at it. The point of the sword went in and the leg buckled. "Look for a seam, an opening in the shell," he yelled. The giant head lunged forward, the pincers aiming for him. Worf thrust his web-covered sword at the pinchers and they stuck to it. Deanna tossed her sword to Worf who returned to battle the creature. When it turned toward Worf, Riker saw his chance and threw himself under the beast and aimed his sword upward behind the thing's head where the hard coverings did not quite cover the soft flesh beneath. The sword sank in to the hilt and the spider went into spasms, then collapsed on top of him. Fortunately, the thing was so light weight, it didn't hurt. Worf lifted the beast and he crawled free. Together they pushed it aside so they could all get past it.
A few feet further and a door opened ahead of them. They walked out of the corridor into the party room where they had started.
"Velcome back." Data smiled his best fanged smile at them. "I hope you enjoyed yourselves."
"Enjoyed ourselves?" Deanna echoed incredulously. "You think that was fun for us?"
"Data, you put us all in danger," Riker told him.
"Commander, I assure you the safety protocols of the holodeck were fully functional at all times," he answered dropping his vampire accent.
"Then why am I bleeding?" Worf demanded.
Picard smiled at him. "I don't see any blood, Mr. Worf."
Worf looked at his chest. There was no cut in his clothing or evidence of injury.
"Just an illusion," Picard told him, "like the rest."
Worf frowned in annoyance. "So you were in on the deception, Captain."
"I'm afraid so."
"But why weren't you able to end the program?" Riker asked.
"I never said, 'Captain's override' now did I?"
Riker sighed. "No, you didn't."
"Very funny," Beverly said, not smiling.
"Now, now. I experienced it all with the rest of you. I just happened to know that the protocols were still in place even when they did not appear to be."
He took Data aside. "There was one minor glitch, however. I think you have a problem regarding the witch's cauldron. The fumes actually stung my eyes."
"I am puzzled that it would do so," Data replied, "I will have to review my program to see how that occurred. Did you enjoy the three witches from Macbeth? I thought the reference might be entertaining for you."
"There was only one witch, Data."
"I did not program a solitary witch."
"You most certainly did. She appeared right after the snakes and just before we ran into those soldiers. Nasty little vision she gave me, too. Didn't much enjoy that, I must say. But the cauldron fire came in handy for getting rid of the webs."
"I did plan the fire and the cauldron, but it was supposed to be surrounded by three witches. They were programmed to recite their lines from the play to you. There was no vision involved."
"That's not what happened." Picard stared at him. "Data, you better review your program. I want to know why there was a discrepancy between what you planned and what I experienced."
"Yes, Captain."
The following Eve, Data reported his findings to Captain Picard in his ready room. "I still cannot explain the discrepancy between what you experienced and the program I intended. When I play back the program, three witches appear each time. You stated that you saw only one witch and she showed you a vision. I interviewed the others who were with you. They all saw three witches and none of them saw anything in the cauldron other than green liquid."
"You think I imagined this?"
"I do not think anything, Captain."
"Riker, Troi, Worf, Beverly and Geordi all saw three witches?" he asked incredulously.
"Affirmative."
Picard shook his head frowning. "I don't understand."
Picard's door buzzed. "Enter," he called.
Counselor Troi walked in. "Captain, I thought I should be here."
Picard nodded. "I seem to have experienced something quite different than the rest of you last night."
"I know. I felt your distress when you had that experience so I know it was quite real for you."
"Real seems to be a subjective term lately."
"Perhaps it was merely the stress of the moment, the strangeness of our environment, our being in a suggestible state. I believe we all consumed a significant amount of Aldorean champagne before we entered Data's haunted house."
"You don't really expect me to buy any of that, do you? I'd have to be stoned out of my mind to have mistaken the appearance of Macbeth's three witches for the one I recall. I simply had a completely different experience and can't account for it."
"Captain, may I ask the nature of the vision you saw," Data inquired.
"Death, Data. Pure and simple." He knew the experience would stay with him.
Data nodded. "I had hoped my experiment with Halloween would prove illuminating. I must say that it has. Thank you, Captain."
"I trust this will be the end of your experiment. No more haunted houses, please."
"Yes, sir. No more haunted houses. I have been thinking about Valentine's Day, however. I think it might be worth further investigation."
"Oh dear," Picard sighed.