Title: Straight Forward
Author: knightshade
Rating: PG
Summary: If she wanted to leave, more power to her. (Mal/Inara)
Characters: Mal (minor appearance by Wash and mention of others)
Disclaimer: Joss is the genius. I only wish I were as amazing.
Author's Notes: This was written for colorific. Post series, pre-Serenity.
Straight Forward
It was too gorram bright on the bridge.
Mal preferred to be surrounded by the soft, worn blanket of black space. Though he reckoned the current situation could be a good piece worse. It was rainy season on this side of the moon and while it weren't currently raining, the space port was ambushed by a color-sapping fog. It made the light filtering through the view port alien and gloomy, cold in a way that deep black just wasn't.
He almost preferred the rain -- there weren't no guess work. If you were fool enough to go out in it, you'd get your unmentionables soaked. Straight forward that way. But mist was another thing entirely. It might get you wet, but it might just waste all day threatenin'. A man knew what he was getting with rain. Mal reckoned there was a certain poetry to that.
Not to mention the simple fact that rain would help cut short the goings on out by Serenity's ramp.
Mal sat on the edge of the copilot's panel, glaring out at the mist. If she wanted to leave, more power to her. It would make life aboard his ship a lot less complicated. He could do without all the extra entanglements -- tryin' to stick to schedules, makin' stops on more civilized worlds, makin' sure she got to doctor appointments and such. Not to mention the issue of resources. There was use in having the second shuttle back, for instance. And he was tired of having to worry about her getting caught up in their thievin'.
Truth was, it was better for both parties to split ways. Surprising it took so long to notice was all.
Mal leaned back to check the time display on the console. What was taking so gorram long? Well, he expected Kaylee had the water works going. She'd been moping and glaring daggers at him ever since Inara announced she was taking her leave. It weren't surprising, but that didn't stop it from grating on his nerves.
Didn't help none that the rest of his crew weren't showing much in the way of understanding. Zoe'd just raised a brow -- as usual. Both Wash and Book had come to him with notions that he should to talk to her, but there weren't nothin' he could say. She'd made her decision. She came and went as she pleased. Weren't nothin' he could do about that. Jayne was the only one not givin' him long looks. Course, Mal didn't find much comfort in that -- Jayne being Jayne, he was probably just happy there'd be one fewer cut.
Everyone else seemed to think that it fell to him to make her change her mind.
'Cept that it weren't in his power.
Hell, he didn't understand why she'd signed on with them in the first place. He didn't rightly know what to say to make her stay. Weren't sure he wanted to anyway.
He just wanted his ship and his life back the way it was.
Before.
He sighed and thought about closing up the ramp to hurry things along. He wanted off this gray rock and back into the comforting Black. He eyed the controls for the ramp again, sorely tempted. But before he flipped the switch, he heard the sound of boots on the catwalk. It weren't long after that when Wash poked his head onto the bridge.
"All set, Captain," he said, sliding into the pilot's chair before catching Mal's eye. "Unless, of course, you wanted to say goodbye or anything."
Mal met Wash's eye with a glare. "Said my goodbyes already."
"Huh. That's funny, seeing as how Inara didn't seem to remember them. Was she maybe asleep or unconscious at the time?"
"Chu ni duh."
Unruffled, Wash set about going through his preflight. "I'm just saying, Mal, that you might want to say goodbye, seeing as how we might not get an opportunity to see her again soon."
"Just get my boat in the air," he said, as menacingly as he could.
Mal turned and stalked off the bridge, not feeling like talking none. He kicked back the hatch to his darkened quarters, climbed down the rungs, and let the hatch slam shut. Not bothering to flip on the light, he tripped over an unseen obstacle. Already at the end of his rope, Mal kicked it out of the way and heard it clang hard against the wall.
Serenity shuddered as she started her escape from atmo, but Mal didn't feel his usual measure of relief at bein' free. He paced a bit, but soon the anger and frustration deserted him. Cradling his head in his hands, he sank onto his bunk with nothing left to tend to but his own thoughts.
They'd get over it. They all would -- eventually. This weren't nothing that time wouldn't dull. And while it was dulling things, Mal surely hoped time would see fit to work on the empty ache in his chest.
He ran a hand through his hair and tried not to pay any mind to the worry that'd been waiting all day to gnaw at him.
What if this was one ache neither time nor the Black could dull?
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-knightshade
March 26, 2006