Hey, guys! Guess who saw recently saw Frozen? (Hint: It's me.) I have discovered the incredible human being that is known as Kristoff and decided that I needed to write a fanfic in his honor. I love this dork so much.
It was the big day, and Kristoff was dreading every minute of it.
He was woken up by Anna's cheery voice telling him to put on the clothes that had been placed on the chair next to his bed. After taking a bath.
"Are you saying I smell?"
"No… It's just… traditional. That…. the, um, guests get really clean before they arrive. And you're one of the guests of honor, so you need to get really really clean."
"Yeah, okay," he grumbled.
"I can't wait to see you!" Anna said through the heavy wooden door. "I bet you're going to look great! This is gonna be so much fun!"
Kristoff rubbed his tired eyes and sat up. It was taking some time to get used to the castle. Anna and Elsa had insisted that he stayed with them. Apparently his status of being a homeless mountain man had taken a toll on the princess and queen. When the subjects heard the news of such a person living in the royal house, they went ballistic.
The grounds were huge, the food was prepared by some of the best chefs in the world, and there were servants to tend to your every need. Kristoff got a whole room to himself, which to him seemed more like an entire house, and Sven got a large space in the horse stables with all of the carrots he could eat. He was becoming quite spoiled, much to his friend's dismay.
Kristoff did what Anna told him and took a bath. It felt strange to have heated water that wasn't from a hot spring, and the perfumed soap made his whole body smell like a meadow. He half-expected honeybees to come buzzing around his head.
The clothes he put on were heavy and constricting. Did the sisters have to wear things like this all the time? He suddenly understood why some of the men were always so grouchy. This was horrific. But when he looked in the mirror, he saw that the dark green color suited him pretty well. His hair didn't look as bad as it could have, and he was ninety nine percent sure that he didn't smell too offensive. Hm. Maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't be as embarrassing as he thought.
The whole reason they were throwing this party was to welcome Elsa back as their new queen, and to celebrate the thawing of their land. Kristoff had been selected as a guest of honor because of his help. Plus, Anna would have thrown a fit if he hadn't been included in the guest list.
There was a knock at the door.
"Are you all dressed?"
"Uh, yeah." He opened the door to see the princess beaming at him.
"You look very handsome," she commented.
"Oh. Thanks. You… too?"
Anna gave a tinkling laugh. "Thank you."
He looked at her. She was wearing a richly colored red dress with little yellow flowers embroidered around the sleeves. A yellow sash was tied around her waist, and her hair was put up in an intricately braided bun.
"You ready to go in?" She dragged him out of the safety of his room.
"I mean it, you really look…"
Anna made a face. "I didn't pick the dress. And I think this hairdo stinks, but thanks."
Kristoff cleared his throat. "About the party…"
"What about it?"
"You know I'm not a people person. I don't like talking to everyone, unlike you."
"You'll do fine. You don't have to talk to everyone. They just want to see you."
"See me do something stupid," he muttered.
"So human interaction isn't your forte." Anna straightened his jacket sleeve. "Who cares?"
"Me! Weren't you listening? What if I slip up and say something dumb? Or fall into the cake?"
"Then I'll smear frosting all over myself and laugh with you." She put her hands on her hips menacingly.
"Can't I just hide out in the stables while all of this is going on? I need to brush Sven. It's urgent."
"No!"
Kristoff's eyes rolled up into his head. "This is going to be a disaster. I just know it."
"Just smile big and be yourself," Anna sang. "They're gonna love you."
Elsa, looking even more regal and gorgeous than she usually did in a cobalt blue and white dress, waved a hello as they walked through the doors. Guests clapped and congratulated them left and right. Anna could feel Kristoff tensing beside her and did most of the talking, much to his relief. Children laughed in joy when Elsa sent glittering particles of snow up into the air, and the adults gasped in wonder.
The dancing was soon after; Elsa and Anna were swept away by various men while an awkward Kristoff stood to the side, gulping down whatever beverage had been provided. It didn't really have a taste, or maybe he just wasn't paying attention.
He looked longingly out the window. Sven was probably out there right now, worried about him.
What he'd give right now to be outdoors, out of this uncomfortable suit, wind whooshing past his face and the smell of summer in the air. He could almost taste the sweet water that ran down the mountain streams, feel the soft grass underneath his bare toes as he chewed on wild blackberries and honeysuckle flowers. Inside was hot and stuffy and so crowded. But he did like the festive spirit that had gathered in all of these people. They had good reason to be happy, and a gathering like this was the perfect way to celebrate their queen's newfound confidence.
"Kristoff!" Anna said breathlessly.
"Oh, hi." He turned with a start. The girl had popped up out of nowhere.
"Are you enjoying the party?" Tendrils of strawberry blond were sticking out of the fancy updo on her head, and her freckled cheeks were tinged with a rosy blush. The grin plastered on her face seemed to be stretching her mouth to maximum capacity. It looked a bit strange, but it was sincere. She loved all of this. Being around people, which she had been deprived of most of her life, was so much fun. She just couldn't keep it in.
"It's fine," he said, trying his best to sound like he didn't want to slam his head into the wall.
Her smile dropped. "What's wrong?"
"I just, you know. This isn't really my thing."
"You… aren't having fun?"
"Anna, don't. It has nothing to do with you. You did a wonderful job on everything, really." If she thought it was something like the decorations or the choice of hors d'oeuvres, she would most likely have a breakdown. Her planning for the party had lasted at least a week, and she needed everything to be absolutely perfect.
Her brow furrowed. "Oh! I know what it is."
"Uh. What?"
"You need to dance!" She snatched his hand and pulled him onto the floor.
"What?! No! I definitely do not dance. I don't even know how." He yelped. "Anna, let go!"
She placed his hand on her waist, making his face warm ever so slightly and held the other in her own. "Follow my lead."
Kristoff was not light on his feet, to say the very least. He stumbled around like a grizzly bear, and if it weren't for her graceful strides, would have ended up tripping and falling on his butt.
"I'm no good at this," he mumbled.
"Practice makes perfect," Anna chided.
His clumsy steps took a turn for the worst when he accidentally trod on her foot.
"Ah! Are you okay?"
Anna let out a small noise of pain.
"I am so so sorry," Kristoff babbled, holding his hands to his chest as if they had done the damage instead of his feet. Darn these stupid shoes.
She looked up into his concerned face and giggled.
"What's so funny?" he asked in disbelief.
"You," she said, voice bubbling with laughter.
"I'm… funny," he repeated uncertainly.
The music stopped, and the crowd applauded.
"I think that's enough dancing," Anna said.
Thank goodness, Kristoff thought.
Elsa went to the front of the room, and everyone bowed.
"I want to thank you all for coming," she said with a dazzling smile. She looked so much happier than she did before, like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. This was a queen that loved her people, and loved being able to lead them. "I'm overjoyed that we could all celebrate together. I know things have been crazy lately, but everything is all right now. I'm home, and so is my dear sister Anna." She looked over at her fondly. "Without her, I wouldn't be here. She showed immense amounts of bravery, selflessness, and love. For that, I don't know how to repay you." She addressed Anna directly now. The two shared a look of understanding. "I also want to thank her friend, Kristoff, for his courage and trust in helping my sister, as well as myself, bring back summer. If you two wouldn't mind, could you come up here and say a few words?"
Kristoff felt a lump grow in his throat, and as Anna walked him to where Elsa was standing, pale and sparkling and beautiful, the lump grew bigger when he realized he probably looked like a peasant in comparison. He suddenly grew worried. How long ago did he last bathe? Oh, wait. A few hours ago, when he was instructed to put on this ridiculous outfit and brush his hair for once in his life. Whew. Dodged a bullet there.
The hundreds and hundreds of eyes watching him made his palms break out into a sweat, but Anna, who still had his hand clasped in hers, didn't notice. Or didn't comment. Either way, he was grateful.
She squeezed it in reassurance while she talked about their journey up the mountains. Kristoff made a note to himself to do something to thank her for taking the pressure of speaking away. She ended her speech with some words about sisterly love and the magic that it produced, then nudged him to say something. He finished lamely with, "I'm glad I could help. I'm happy to say that everything is well in Arendelle." Anna leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, sending warmth blossoming through his stomach. The lump in his throat melted, as well as his case of nerves. "Enjoy the party, folks!"
The guests "aww"ed at their shown affection and cheered when the music started up again.
Anna led him out into a hallway, then slipped down another hallway until they found themselves in a space so small that they could barely both fit into.
"You did great," Kristoff said.
"So did you! I'm so proud!" She jumped up and down, clapping.
"I don't think kissing me in front of all those people was a good idea."
"And why not?"
"Because all of those rich, meticulously groomed Hans lookalikes are out there," he said. "And now that they saw that you're not interested…"
"So?"
"Now you'll have no one to dance with."
Anna laughed. "I think I'm okay with that."
"You sure?" he teased. "There won't be any single men trying to steal away your heart."
She put her arms around those broad shoulders and breathed in his comforting scent: a mixture of pine, something earthy and masculine, and reindeer hair. "Yes." When she pulled away, they were nose to nose.
"Um…"
The new voice in the room made Kristoff jump, bumping his face against Anna's.
Olaf was standing in front of them. "Am I interrupting something?"
He grunted, rubbing his forehead.
Anna gave a sheepish smile. "Sort of."
Olaf's eyes widened. "Ooh! Ooh! What were you gonna do?"
"Kiss Kristoff." She said it so shamelessly, the man nearly had a heart attack.
"Huh?" The snowman's gaze turned inquisitive.
"Yeah," Kristoff gasped, making sure he wasn't hearing things, "what he said?"
"Oh," he exclaimed excitedly. "Right! Because he's your true love! Duh!"
The ice trader turned the color of a strawberry. "O-oh."
"That was never actually proven," Olaf mused. "Oh no! Then how do you know he's the one?!"
"Because of this." Anna pressed her lips onto his.
Kristoff felt like he was in one those cartoons where someone sticks a thermometer in the character's mouth and the red color rises to the very top of their face.
Dang. Why couldn't they unfreeze Arendelle with Anna's lips? They were warm and soft and sweet against his own slightly chapped ones. He felt something in his chest sizzle, and then there was a weird fluttering sensation like a butterfly's wings.
She tapped her finger on her chin. "Hm. Yep, I think he's the one."
Kristoff said something like "ugughyhah". The kiss left him lightheaded and woozy. If he fainted, it would destroy every shard of manliness that he had left.
Olaf took in a deep breath and then let it out in a dreamy sigh. "Ah, young love."
When Anna pulled him close once more, Kristoff couldn't help but feel a twinge of annoyance. Did a magic snowman have to bear witness to their saliva-exchanging palooza?
Ah, well. Beggars can't be choosers. It's not like he was going to tattle on them to Elsa, right?
"ELSA," Olaf screamed at the top of his lungs. "YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I CAUGHT ANNA AND SVEN DOING-"
"IT'S KRISTOFF," Kristoff yelled, breaking the kiss with an impatient sigh.
"Oh, right. Sorry. Old habits. ANNA AND KRISTOFF ARE-"
Anna picked up the snowman's head and tied her sash around his mouth hastily. His cries were muffled, and his arms, still attached to the rest of his body, waved around in the air.
"I don't care if he tells Elsa," she announced. "As long as he doesn't interrupt us." She put the head down and rolled it (gently) down the hall. His body waddled after it.
I love this woman.
Anna's lips pulled up into a smile. "Now where were we?"