Disclaimer:Hannah Montana is the property of Disney and It's a Laugh productions. Kira Ford is also a character that belongs to Disney as she appeared on Power Rangers Dino Thunder. Kaylee Hanson is the property of fanfic author Lily Hanson whose slew of Kaylee fanfic is at her site. Thanks to her for allowing me to have fun with a very special character. The parody song 'In the Line Again' is property of The Great Luke Ski which is a parody of 'On the Road Again' which also isn't mine. 'Dave's not here' is also a line from Cheech and Chong. This is a Miley support story. More will be explained in the Author's Note. Anything else I forgot to mention is not mine either.
Avenging Honor
By:John Chubb
"On the road again. I can't wait to get on the road again."
On a tour bus going down the Interstate 90 two girls that formed a singing act named 'Kira and Kaylee' were trying to enjoy the ride. The first girl in the act, Kira Ford, had an emphasis on trying as she was tired of hearing the same song over and over again by her partner Kaylee Hanson.
"Kaylee do you have to sing the same song over and over again?" Kira asked. Kaylee thought for a moment and answered Kira's question. "No." Kira sighed a sigh of relief as she thought she would hear something different. And she did…to a point.
"In the line again. I'm here sitting in the line again." Kira looked up at Kaylee and asked "What is that?"
"You said you wanted to hear something different. A parody is different." Kira then crashed on the couch where a third girl riding along, Kaylee's sister Tori, smiled at Kira's plight. "Now you see what I've had to live with for years."
Tori Hanson, Kaylee's older sister, decided to meet up with the two girls after taking part in a surfing competition in Florida. Once they picked her up they decided have a brief girls road trip as they went to different cities until they reached California. Kira was glad for the company, and Kaylee was glad to have her sister along for a brief ride. So far they had been to New Orleans, cities in Texas, Denver, Las Vegas, and they were now making their way to Seattle where they hoped to take in some sights before performing. Kira was glad to have Tori for company, as she wanted to have at least ONE sane mind on the trip. Compared to Kaylee who Kira considered 'semi-sane' on select days.
Kira smiled at Tori's comment as she then brought out her guitar and tried to write some new songs. "Inspiration's really coming up short for us." Kira said. "Not a lot of good ideas. I swear, times like these I wish I could have good ideas all the time."
"I have good ideas all the time." Kaylee said. "At least I think I do." Plopping down on the sofa she asked "So what are we writing today?" Before Kira could answer the phone had rang. Kira ran for the phone, but Kaylee reached it first. "Dibs!" she called as she answered. Kira sat next to Tori as Tori asked "Why do you have a phone wired into your trailer? Aren't cell phones good enough?"
"These can get a stronger signal if you need it." Kira answered. "Plus since it's hooked up to the trailer battery you get a stronger signal." Just then Kaylee came up to the girls' side and said "Turn on the speaker. You're not going to believe this." Kira did so as their agent spoke over the line. "Kira. Honey? You listening?"
"Dave?" Kaylee asked. The voice on the other end answered "Dave's not here." And Kaylee giggled. Kira sighed and said "Okay Cheech let Chong have his say. Ok Dave. What's up?" Kira asked. Their agent Dave then asked "Good, you sitting down? This will rock your…"
"Oh will you get on with it already?" Kaylee asked. Dave then said "Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Kira then spoke up. "Just get on with it Dave."
"Okay." Dave said taking a dramatic pause before speaking. "I've got you girls a shot with famed photographer Anna Logan for Vanity magazine!" Kira and Kaylee's faces went white as they heard the news. "Uhhh Dave we have to call you back. We're approaching a tunnel."
"But Kira." Dave said. "It's Vanity…." Kaylee then said "Uhhh sorry Dave. We're losing you. We'll be back in touch as soon as we clear the mountains. Bye." Dave then said "But there are no…." before Kaylee hung up the phone.
Tori looked at the two girls and asked "Is there something I'm missing here?" Kira and Kaylee both nodded as they remembered the last time someone posed for Vanity magazine. It brought a friend of theirs to tears, and encouraged others to make her cry more, for their sick delight. Tori looked at the two girls and wondered what was wrong. Kira then answered Tori's question.
"You up for a long story?" she asked. Tori nodded that she was as Kaylee began the story.
"Once upon a time…" Kaylee said as Kira and Tori rolled their eyes at Kaylee's line. Kira then decided she had better tell what happened.
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Flashback:
The Staples Center in Los Angeles was packed to the rafters. All there to see one person. To hear her voice that brought happiness to many. And no, despite her saying different, they were not there to see singer Kaylee Hanson.
For one thing Kaylee Hanson was the opening act, along with her partner Kira Ford. Both formed the duo 'Kira and Kaylee'. Providing a mix of music and comedy.
Both sang great songs, like Kira's song 'Just a little more time' which she was singing along with Kaylee. Other times they did comedy hijinks that reminded people of an old school comedy duo. Duos like Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello and even George and Gracie. Kaylee often came off like the clown with Kira playing the role of 'straight man', or 'straight woman' in her case. Like all great comedy duos a 'straight man/woman' was necessary to bounce comedy off of. Comedy the clown provided.
After the song the audience applauded as Kaylee shouted. "Hey does anyone want to hear another song?" The shouts of "YEAH!!!" filled the room. Just then Kira spoke up and said "You want to hear a song from Hannah Montana?!"
Just then the cries for "Hannah! Hannah!" were Kaylee's cue to due a Daffy Duck impression. "I guess I know when I can take a hint. I guess I know when I'm not wanted. Let's go Ducky!" Kaylee said taking out her duck and giving it a squeeze. "Quack!" said Ducky as if giving Kaylee an affirmative. Kaylee then walked off, but then turned around and said "We're just going to see how Hannah's doing and she'll be out to pump up the party."
"Yaaayyyyyy!!!!!!!!" the crowd screamed as Kira decided to follow her partner's lead. They then made their way to the dressing rooms where Hannah's, and their adjoining one, was located. "Oh man I could have done one more." Kaylee said.
"Not if you were going to sing 'I'll take you home again Kathleen' like a drunk sailor again." Kira said. "I knew you and that 'Star Trek' marathon was a bad idea."
"Hey at least I didn't sing 'Earache my eye' again." Kaylee said innocently. Kira rolled her eyes at Kaylee's answer. If there was anything worse than Kaylee with a Star Trek marathon, it was Kaylee with a Cheech and Chong movie marathon on Comedy Central. After making their way to the dressing room Hannah was in Kira knocked on the door. "Hannah! Hannah you ready? The audience is waiting."
Hannah didn't answer. All Kira and Kaylee heard were muffled sobs coming from the dressing room and low voices of "It's okay. It's okay." Suddenly another voice filled the air saying "Hannah needs a little more time to get ready. Could you give us a minute?" This got Kira and Kaylee to share a look of concern, especially with sobs coming from Hannah Montana's dressing room. Kira thought about entering, but Kaylee asked her friend to wait first.
"Give me a few seconds." Kaylee said as she went to the dressing room she shared with Kira. Coming back out seconds later Kaylee said "Okay I'm ready." Kira noticed the bulge in Kaylee's jacket, and knew what it could be. "You ready?" Kira asked.
"Set. Let's go." Kaylee said as she and Kira walked into Hannah's dressing room to see Hannah sitting in her chair crying. By her side were her two friends Lola Luftnagle and Mike Stanley III. 'And hopefully the last' Kaylee often heard Lola say in jest. Kaylee got the joke, especially when others didn't. But what she saw from Hannah wasn't funny.
A girl crying was never funny. Especially if it was Hannah Montana. She had a sense of happiness that rivaled Kaylee's, although not quite attaining the level of hyper-happiness Kaylee had. And Kaylee hated to see any happy girl miserable….especially since there were those out in the world that wanted to do anything in their power to make Hannah miserable…just for fun. 'I'd love to take all the mean fun suckers in the world, put them in one room, and have them face to face with my green compadre' Kaylee thought. But then she realized that if she did that she'd have to call a very good lawyer.
"Hannah, what's wrong?" Kira asked offering support. Hannah pointed off to the side a picture. It was a picture taken during a shoot for Vanity magazine that caused a stir among some parents. It had Hannah covered in a sheet exposing her back. The word 'SLUT' was written out in green letters.
"And that's just the straw that broke the camel's back." Mike said. "It seems like Hannah haters have been crawling out of the woodwork in full force." He pulled out a series of newspaper clips of less than favorable reviews, messages of hate calling Hannah a 'no-talent slut', and others Kira and Kaylee were too sickened to read. There was also a video of a YouTube blogger named Mark Buckman who seemed to take pleasure in tearing Hannah down while glorifying her rival Mikayla every chance he got.
The reason 'Mikayla was more 'real' and more 'cooler'. Kaylee heard those broadcasts and thought Lothor could have done a better job hosting that show. Him she could laugh at. Buckman just seemed to thrive on being mean. Especially to Hannah.
"Why?" Hannah asked between sobs. "I just want to live my dream. Sing and make people happy. Why do so many people have to tear me down? Why?"
"Because some people are zwopping assholes that's why." Kaylee said. "Pardon my French Hannah, but I'm just as upset about this as you. You don't deserve this grief."
"Some would disagree." Hannah said. "In their minds you make a mistake and you deserve nothing but grief. And hate." Kira added "Or what they think is a mistake."
"What they think is a mistake?" Mike asked. Kira explained.
"I heard a story in the media about a doctor that was fired from his hospital because he thought saving the life of a kid was more important than that of a billion dollar trustee" Kira said.. "He did the best he could to keep the trustee stable while he focused on the kid, but the trustee died anyway. As such he was fired and blacklisted from the hospital and the New York medical community."
"Yeah, in that doctor's eyes he thought he made a judgment call. In the board's eyes they thought he made a mistake." Kaylee said remembering the story. She watched CNN that day because there was nothing better on. "What mistake? A kid's life is not as important as someone who's 'loaded'? You should put the 'loaded' guy above everybody else?"
"Yeah, but this…."Hannah said pointing to the defaced picture. "I've been getting stuff like that ever since it was posted. From mean people and the media."
"Not to mention uptight people." Kaylee added. "I swear, someday people are going to look at T-shirts and jeans someday and they are going to call those 'gang related'."
"They already did." Lola said. "Some school in Ohio does it." Kaylee let out a deep breath and said "Well I'm glad I don't go there then. I wouldn't want to go to school wearing a 'Hello Kitty' t-shirt and having the principal think I was joining a gang."
"But why come after me?" Hannah asked trying to hold back a new set of tears. "I've just tried to have fun. I never wanted to do anything wrong."
"I think the uptight people are just afraid." Kira said. "They're afraid of the 'assholes' as Kaylee so eloquently put it. Pardon MY French. But you know the attitudes of some boys. They think sex is a game, virginity is excess baggage, and you're not a man unless you have sex with a woman. Or several depending on point value." Kira bit on the words 'point value' with an air of hate and contempt. "Sadly the uptight people just seem to encourage the bullying of you. and the media….well I think they want to go out of their way to expose you as a hypocrite."
"I try to be a good person." Hannah said.
"I know. But the problem is that you're not a good person on their terms.' Kira explained. "And that's what they want. They think you do that, everything will be fine."
"But what if it isn't?" Hannah asked. "I mean will it just make the media more focused on proving me to be a hypocrite, even though I don't believe I am. And some of those haters out there, it seems like they tear me down just to glorify Mikayla."
"Yeah they do don't they?" Mike asked. An uneasy silence then filled the room as if saying that Lola, Mike and Hannah didn't want to talk about Mikayla at the moment. Kaylee was about to say something But Kira held up a finger in Kaylee's direction as if saying "Not another word Kaylee."
"Okay." Kaylee said pouting a little. Kira then looked at Hannah and then said "I have a friend who worked for a television station as a reporter." Kaylee interrupted as she said "Some friend. More like a bug head clone."
"KAYLEE!" Kira said pleading with her friend to let her make her case. Turning back to Hannah Kira spoke again, hopefully with no interruption. "She said 'There are two types of people who pay the media's paychecks. Those that want their way with the world, and those that want to watch the world burn."
"Watch the world burn?" Lola asked scared by the quote. Kaylee looked at the purple haired girl and said "We've met people like that in our lives. Trust me when she says there are people like that."
"And I don't think those 'fans' of Mikayla are really 'fans of Mikayla." Kira added. "They're fans of the damage they can do in her name. If Mikayla was gone tomorrow they would probably revolve around that new girl Mitchie Torres that's been seen with Connect 3. Or make her the next media victim."
"You know that show on YouTube called 'Buck Off" with that mean guy who never wears pants? Mark….something?" Hannah, Lola and Mike all nodded. Hannah sighed as she heard the show pop up on her account over and over again. The show had become another rally cry for Hannah haters. Kaylee then continued her story.
"I thought about pranking him, but it just seemed like he would have enjoyed it. I mean, what good is a malicious prank if someone's going to laugh at it? Shouldn't they hulk out in rage or something? Like someone who was too close to a gamma reactor?" Kaylee asked. Hannah heard Kaylee's line and then laughed a bit through the tears. Kaylee smiled knowing she hit pay dirt with Hannah.
"Ahh there's that smile we all know and love. And some loathe but who cares about them? Well I don't, but that's me." Again Hannah let out another small laugh followed by Lola and Mike. Even Kira laughed a bit at Kaylee's humor. "And you shouldn't either. You don't do this for people that hate you. You do it because you want to make people happy. And those that hate you obviously have nothing better to do, or their Mikayla inflatables haven't arrived yet."
"And those probably aren't the only thing that's 'inflatable' about Mikayla." Lola added. Everyone looked at Lola and wondered what she was saying. "What? I was talking about her brain. What did you think I was talking about?"
This got Hannah to laugh louder as she reached over to hug her friends. A hug that included Kira and Kaylee. "I can't believe it. I'm hugging a celebrity. Whee!" Kaylee said all a giggle. This brought Hannah another laugh as she broke the hug and wiped the tears away. She then turned and looked at Kira and Kaylee.
"Thanks guys. I needed that." Hannah said as she then looked at her watch. "Would you mind keeping the audience entertained for a while while I get myself together a little bit more?"
"Sure thing." Kaylee said. "But as an added precaution. Don't open any gift boxes. You never know what's inside and the bozos of the world don't deserve a relapse of 'sad Hannah.'" Hannah sighed as she hugged Kaylee again. "Thank you. All of you." Hannah said referring to all her friends. Old and new alike.
"Give us twenty minutes and we'll be up." Mike said as he and Lola escorted Hannah back to her dressing room to get ready again. Kira and Kaylee looked at the popstar as she walked back. "What bozo takes pleasure in watching a sixteen year old girl sad?"
"Lothor for one." Kaylee said. "And Mesogog, and the helium woman from Doctor O's ranger days. And they don't even work for the tabloids." Kaylee then had a thought come to her and spoke it aloud. "Hey, you know maybe that's something retired villains can do. Snap pictures for the paparazzi. That way they don't have to stop being EVIL." Kaylee said the word 'EVIL' in a dramatic way which caused Kaylee to roll her eyes.
"Next thing you'll be saying Marah and Kapri should take up photography classes. Let's go." Kira said as she herded Kaylee back up to the stage. As they walked Kaylee said "You know, that's not a bad idea. Maybe bug head can go back to school."
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Kira then looked at Tori as the story was finished. "Man, I know we all have our breaking points, but Hannah?"
"I know." Kaylee said responding to her sister's statement. "It seems like when someone's angry, sad or make what someone thinks is a mistake that's when bullies get empowered. It's like they only remember the bit in Don Henley's song where it 'kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down. Kick 'em in the face, kick 'em all around.' Or something like that. Don't they know that kind of kicking hurts? Not to mention it's rude."
"It just sucks you know." Kira said with a sigh. "Hannah gets all the grief because she took part in the shot and all Anna Logan and Vanity magazine get are a slap on the wrist. I mean, where's the coverage about them? Why don't they cover Vanity magazine's business practice? Why don't they use it as a model for a special report on the ethics of Hollywood…if there are any?"
"And whose idea was it?" Tori asked. "I mean Logan got credit for it, but was it Vanity magazine's idea, or did Logan think of it on her own?" Kira and Tori looked at Kaylee….who had other ideas on her mind.
"Anna Logan made Hannah cry. She SO has to pay!" Kaylee said with an evil look in her eye. Kira rolled her eyes knowing what was going to come next as Kaylee picked up the phone. "Oh no." Kira said knowing what Kaylee was about to do.
"Yeah Dave? This is Kaylee. We'll do it." Dave seemed so happy he seemed to scream in delight as he then said he'd call them and make the appointment. Kaylee then interrupted and said "Oh don't worry about all that Dave. We've got the number, we'll be happy to make the call. You just take a break, go down to the Santa Monica pier, and have a nice smoothie with your honey."
After Dave hung up Kaylee then dialed a new number. This one to Vanity Magazine. Kira and Tori both looked on crossing fingers and hoping Kaylee didn't do anything stupid.
"Hello, Vanity magazine? This is Kaylee Hanson of 'Kira and Kaylee'. We'd love to do a photo spread with you. Will Anna Logan be the photographer?" After a pause Kaylee stood up acting like a total drama queen. "No I don't want a two bit second rate hack. 'Kira and Kaylee' only photograph with the best. It's Anna Logan or nobody." Kira and Tori looked at each other rolling their eyes at Kaylee's antics.
"You will? Super." Kaylee said not hiding the smile in her voice. "Three o'clock? We'll be in L.A. before you know it. Where are we? Oh we're in Seattle right now. You'll arrange plane fare? Super." Again Kaylee's voice reflected a smile when she said 'Super'.
"She's got a new catchphrase now. Run." Tori said as Kaylee said "We'll see you then." And hung up the phone. "Operation avenge Hannah's honor has begun." Kaylee then let out a fit of giggles as her mind went wild with thoughts of vengeful mischief.
Kira sighed as she realized they had a three o'clock appointment in L.A. with Anna Logan. Tori looked at Kira as if saying 'I hope you've made out your will.'
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Los Angeles, CA
"Are we there yet?" Kaylee kept asking as the mobile home she and Kira shared drove down the Hollywood Freeway…in bumper to bumper traffic…during rush hour.
"Just another hour Miss Hanson." The mobile home driver said. "I hope." Kaylee then said, "But it's already 2:45 now."
"We'll tell them we were on Eastern Standard Time." Kira then said. "It's the best dodge." All Kaylee could do was sigh and sit on the couch pouting and listening to car horns honk trying to get the cars ahead to move. Tori sat next to Kaylee watching her sister. "You'll get there. Don't worry."
After a while (I won't bother to say how long) they made it to the offices of Vanity magazine. Kira had to admit they looked like a well done organization. Reception area trimmed with gold., mahogany furniture. Everything seemed to say 'done by a professional'. But both Kira and Kaylee wondered how 'professional' the people at Vanity magazine actually were.
"Well see you later. I'm off." Tori said as she headed to the subway to make her way to the Santa Monica pier. There was a surf competition happening and Tori wished to take part. Kira and Kaylee then got their directions from the reception desk and went to the elevator that would take them to their appointment. "Abandon hope all ye who enter here." Kaylee said.
"Kaylee it's a magazine shoot it's not hell." Kaylee looked in Kira's direction and followed up with "Do you know how hard it is to sit through those? Might as well be in hell." They then made their way to the Logan studio where upon entry Kaylee looked off to the side and her imagination went into overdrive. "Ohhhh a ladder and green paint." Kaylee said as a mischievous plan formed in her mind. Kira however knew what Kaylee was thinking. "Reign it in Kayl."
"No fun." Kaylee pouted. Kira then said "Not yet anyway." As Anna Logan, Vanity magazine's star photographer (the term 'star' used loosely here) came to greet them. "Ahhh Kira and Kaylee. So wonderful to finally meet you. I have some great plans for you."
"I'm sure you do." Kira said keeping what happened to Hannah in her mind.
Kaylee looked at the sight of Anna Logan before her. A blonde woman in what appeared to be her early 40's, or 50's as one couldn't tell age in Hollywood. A white business suit with a lime green top that came down to her….chest. Kaylee could see very little of the top as the jacket covered Anna's upper half. Kaylee looked down at the white dress shoes that completed the photographer's ensemble. She sure dressed professionally, and came off as such. She seemed to know what she was doing.
But then Kaylee remembered Hannah and the hate and tears that followed. Kaylee then looked at Anna and asked "So are you what happens to emo-Barbies when they retire? They become photographers?"
"Kaylee!" Kira said trying to sound apologetic for her partner. Now was not the time for her trademark wit. Not yet anyway. Anna took it in stride however knowing 'emo-Barbie' was a term Kaylee used in her concerts. "Now now. We're all entitled to a little fun right? Let me show you what I have in mind." Anna then worked to show a couple of shots on a digital monitor that were kind of glossed over. Kira and Kaylee both saw several that they would have liked and Kaylee even thought some would have been good if Ducky was in them. Anna however breezed past them.
"Oh those wouldn't work for you. This however would." Anna then brought up a shot that she believed would have been a 'real artistic statement'. Kira and Kaylee however had other plans.
Kira and Kaylee looked at the digital photo model that had been prepared. It had two models in it dressed in a bedsheet close to one another. One seemed to be hugging the younger one close as her eyes were closed. The second model had this look of innocence in her eyes as she seemed to look at the camera. As they looked at the shot Kira and Kaylee looked at Anna and wondered if the so called 'celebrity photographer' wasn't insane. They had a feeling they knew which girl was supposed to be which once Anna took the final shot.
"Are you nuts?" Kira shouted. "A shot like that people will think Kaylee and I are….well….."
"That we don't have boyfriends." Kaylee said. Anna just seemed to roll her eyes at that. "If any think like that then they don't understand the sophistication of my art, or the closeness the two of you share."
"We're not THAT close sister." Kaylee said point blank. "And that's the relationship Kira and I have. We're like sisters."
"But sisterly bonds are so worth exploring." Anna said. Kira retorted with "That don't look like no sisterly bond to me. And even if it was I think the sisters would have been accused of….Ahhhh I can't even think it."
"Maybe we could get Ducky in the shot." Kaylee thought offering a suggestion. "I mean me, Kira and Ducky in the middle protecting our virtue…..nah that would just be weird."
"And I'm in no rush to have 'Kayra' fanfiction pop up." Kira said. Kaylee then added "Or Kirlee." Anna then tried a different approach. She had to get the girls to agree to her 'artistic idea'. Pointing to the eyes of the girl that was supposed to be Kaylee Anna made an emphasis on them for her latest pitch.
"You see the look in the girl's eyes?" Anna asked. "That's the look of innocence."
"It could also be the look of 'help help get this nut case away from me.'" Kaylee said. "Or 'is it over yet? I've got to be tarred and feathered by an angry seething mob at 4:00'."
"I'm just photographing your souls." Anna said trying to reassure her new 'art subjects'. "Laying it bare for all to see."
"That ain't all that's being laid bare." Kaylee responded. Anna continued her spiel. "It's not like you can be who you are forever. You do need to grow. Be more mature."
"As mature as the boys that read Playboy….or Penthouse? Or watch a National Lampoons movie, or 'Revenge of the Nerds?' Cause that's whose going to raise the biggest voice. And besides….boys are so immature." Kira said. Kaylee then followed up with "And I'm not immature?"
Anna kept shaking her head as if trying to shake off the doubts Kira and Kaylee may have had. "Look, you will be clothed. Or at least wearing a garment."
"You call a sheet a garment?" Kaylee added. "A sheet I'm sharing with Kira?"
"It still follows the letter of the law." Anna said now showing her irritation at Kaylee. "Despite what some will say it will still be legal. You will not be posing nude."
"Is this what you said to Hannah?" Kira then asked. The mention of Hannah Montana gave Anna a moment's pause. As if bringing back a bad memory.
"You really made her cry you know that?" Kira said continuing on. "Parents hating her. Assholes calling her 'slut' 'hoar', and a whole bunch of other names she didn't deserve to be called. Did you consider the consequences of those actions? No you didn't. All that mattered to you was your 'art', and getting Hannah to pose for it. And she pays the price while you get the free pass."
"Yeah, and if it's so artistic why don't you do it?" Kaylee said. "I mean there must still be some beauty left in that old, wrinkled emo-Barbie body of yours you can exploit." At the mention of 'emo-Barbie' Anna's temper started to boil, yet she still tried to do everything she could to maintain her cool, and get Kira and Kaylee to do the shot she wanted.
"You know. You don't take part in this I will sue you for breach of contract. Both of you." Kaylee looked at Anna and then said "To quote Rocky Balboa 'Sue me for what?'"
"We're not exactly multi millionaires you know." Kira added. "We do okay but…is this the choice you're giving us? Scandal or lawsuit? Is this the choice that was presented to Hannah? Or would you have presented it?" Anna tried to go back to her calm rational mood knowing she wasn't going anywhere with Kira and Kaylee. They stood firm and resolute.
"We don't like seeing friends….and teenaged girls cry." Kaylee said. "Or picked on."
"Listen, I'm sorry your friend was put through so much grief, but whether those uptight parents like it or not my work followed the letter of the law." Anna said in final defense. "And if she, her family, or her handlers had any objections they should have said 'no'." Kira and Kaylee looked at Anna and really were put off by her smug attitude. But Kira was the one who spoke first.
"You know. I had a lot of feelings about what was done to Hannah. For a while I wondered if I might have decided to take it out on her just as so many parents and the media have done." Kira said. Anna then asked "You didn't did you?"
"No." Kira said before following up with a right cross that sent Anna Logan over a table down onto the floor hard next to a ladder that had green paint hovering up top. Paint that looked like it was ready to spill. Kira hadn't noticed it…but Kaylee had. Kira however kept her glare on Anna thinking about what grief her 'art' put Hannah through.
"I saved it for you." Kira said believing Anna Logan got what she deserved. Kaylee however had her own ideas, especially as Anna started to get back up, cradling her jaw and seething. "That's it. I'm going to sue you for everything you've got." This was Kaylee's cue to act.
"Hey look! Hugh Hefner and Playboy bunnies!" Kaylee shouted. Everyone in the studio, including Anna (but not Kira) turned to look in the direction Kaylee was pointing. The momentary distraction allowed Kaylee to ninja streak up the top of the ladder and to Kira's side quickly without being seen….knocking over a can of green paint in the process.
A can of green paint that fell over and landed on Anna. The bucket covering her head. The weight of the paint, the bucket, and the humiliation thus far caused Anna to slump back down to the ground. Staff turned to see Anna slumped down on the ground, doused in green paint over her white suit, and couldn't help but laugh. Even Kira and Kaylee threw in a few chuckles. But Kaylee was not yet done.
"And now the finishing touch." Kaylee said as she found a green marker and wrote something down on a piece of paper. When finished Kaylee walked up to the woman doused in green paint and slumped on the floor. She then called a junior photographer over and asked a photo be taken. The junior photographer was only too happy to oblige.
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The news broke out the next day, but Miley Stewart (aka Hannah Montana) was too depressed to care. What the press and members of the public had said about her still stung. She wished she didn't have to go to school, because knowing that she would have to face Queens of Mean Amber and Ashley, who thrived on Miley's misery no matter what the source, would have sought to make her more miserable than she already was.
Her father Robbie Ray and brother Jackson tried to make her favorite breakfast, blueberry waffles. But even they would not have an effect on the sad girl. The world was thinking the worst of her alter ego, and they were thinking the worst of her by proxy. "Bud, I'm sorry. I had no idea it was going to be this way. I thought you were in good hands."
"I wish you hadn't been called away." Miley said. "Maybe you could have rushed to my defense or something. I just wish…..I just wish they would stop focusing on me. Why don't they go after Anna Logan or something? Or that troll who hacked my account? Why do I get the heat when they are the ones who start it all and they get a free pass?"
"I don't know darling. It's just not fair." Robbie Ray said holding her daughter. Jackson then asked "You going to finish your waffles?" he asked. Robbie Ray said "Give her a minute son." Just as her friends Lily Truscott (aka Lola Luftnagle) and Oliver Oken (aka Smokin Oken aka Mike Stanley III [and hopefully the last]) came running in. Lily carrying a newspaper. "Miley! Miley! You have to read this!"
"What? What's going on?" Miley asked as the front page was shown to her. Another was presented with the headline in big black letters. Miley looked at the headlines in amazement.
'KIRA AND KAYLEE THROW DIVA TANTRUM! STORM OFF VANITY MAGAZINE SHOOT!' Another one read 'LAWSUIT PENDING AS KIRA AND KAYLEE HUMILIATE VANITY PHOTOGRAPHER!'
And look at this one." Oliver said as he laid another newspaper in Miley's lap. Miley looked at the front page story that said 'KIRA AND KAYLEE AVENGE HANNAH'S HONOR!' On the front page was the picture of Anna Logan doused in green paint with some staining her white suit. On her front was a piece of paper with a message on it.
'I PUT HANNAH MONTANA IN A SCANDAL SHOT! KICK ME! HARD!!!'
For the first time in as many days Miley Stewart smiled….and laughed. "I can't believe they did that!" she said. "Well Kaylee I could."
"Thought you'd appreciate it." Lily said. "I mean you've been so down lately with everything that you needed a smile." Oliver added "Not to mention that lady getting her comeuppance for her 'art project'."
"Thanks guys." Miley said. "But there's someone else I need to call." Picking up her cell phone she called a number and Kaylee Hanson answered. "Hello. This is Kira and Kaylee. You are on speakerphone. So if you want to speak to one of us….TOUGH! You're speaking to both of us."
Miley laughed at Kaylee's line. "Funny Kaylee. It's Hannah." Kira then spoke up and asked "Hey Hannah. How are you doing? And what do we owe the honor of the call?"
"I read about what you did in the paper." Miley said. Jackson then turned on the TV and the story was on the news as well. A by-line flashed beneath the image saying 'Parents commend Kira and Kaylee for standing up for children's innocence.' Another said 'Hannah's friends avenge her shame.' On the screen however it had Anna Logan walking with green paint all over her shoving a TV camera saying "Get that out of my face."
"Guess she doesn't like being photographed." Lily said. Robbie Ray, Jackson and Oliver chuckled at Lily's line. Miley however said "Thanks guys. It's nice to see someone sticking up for me. Not that my own friends don't. But yours……well……you really showed me something. Especially the 'kick me' sign. That was a nice touch."
"I hope you appreciate it." Kaylee said over the phone. "The last 'kick me' sign I put on someone a crazy lady wanted to put my head on a plate….literally."
"Hey, whatever lawyer costs you need to pay I'll help." Miley said. Kira then said "Don't worry about it Hannah. We were happy to do it. You didn't deserve the grief you got."
"We said that." Kaylee said. Kira answered "And we're totally going to say it again. Oh god I just sounded like Cassidy Cornell didn't I?" Kira laughed and said "Don't worry. I forgive you."
"And Anna Logan found out what an emo-Barbie is." Kaylee giggled. Miley also laughed on the other end of the line. "Thanks guys. I really appreciate you sticking up for me."
"Hannah you were a friend." Kira said. "And friends are there for one another." With that Kira decided it was a good time to break the call. "We have to go now. Kaylee just found out we're near the biggest ball of twine and wants to make a pit stop. Then when we reach Chicago she wants to stop to get a deep dish pizza…before we reach New York by tomorrow afternoon."
"Which in her case can cause constipation, nausea, diarrhea and loss of limb." Lily then added which prompted Kaylee to shout "Yay Pepto Bismol!" over the phone. Miley and Lily could already imagine Kaylee striking the pose she always did during her act with Kira. Both girls smiled at the thought.
"All right Kira you take care. And could you put Kaylee on?" Kira responded to Miley's request and held the phone into the air. Lily and Oliver all shouted "BYE KAYLEE!!!" along with Miley as Kaylee shouted "BYE!" back. Soon Miley hung up the phone, thinking about the call, and the two girls that decided to stand up for her. She felt like crying for a minute, but wiped the tears away.
But unlike the tears of before this time Miley Stewart cried tears of joy.
"You okay Miley?" Lily asked. Miley looked up at Robbie Ray, Jackson, Lily and Oliver and smiled. "Yeah, it's nice to have friends. Far…and near." She then pulled Lily and Oliver into a hug and everyone shared the warmth of friendship. Robbie Ray went back to the kitchen while Jackson went upstairs to finish getting ready for school. It always took him a while.
And silently Miley prayed for Kira and Kaylee. As their own journey continued on. Off to the side Miley looked at a picture she had taken as Hannah. It had Lola, and Oliver in it along with Kira and Kaylee. All of them were smiling as Hannah had a plastic duck on her head.
Miley appreciated the gesture, knowing Kaylee didn't let just anyone play with Ducky. Miley would look at the photo as one of the happiest moments of her life.
END
Author's Note:The idea for this story began when I saw the pilot episode of Airwolf and a scene where Stringfellow Hawke (played by Jan Michael Vincent) knocked out Archangel(played by Alex Cord) in response to the Committee taking his art collection as incentive to get back the super chopper. I saw that scene and found myself wondering why some Hollywood types don't get such treatment. They get slaps on the wrist while others get EXTREMELY harsh treatment.
I caught note of Miley when the scandals happened. It seemed like she was getting all the blame while those that started them:Annie Leibovitz, trainreq, and others just get some idle mentions in the news while Miley gets crucified. A 15/16 year old girl gets grief while grown adults (in trainreq's case a juvenile [I think} internet troll and hacker)just get slaps on the wrist and free passes.
Somehow that didn't seem right to me. So writing this allowed me to do a bit of venting.
I originally intended for Amber, the mean girl on Hannah Montana, to knock out the Anna Logan character. But I had also been reading the stories of Lily Hanson (who created Kaylee Hanson) and Always have a little faith (who gave her own contributions to the Kaylee character), and having those characters involved seemed a better idea. Plus this story should be a bit of a plug for Lily, and Faith's, stories.
The character of Anna Logan was based on interpretations and portrayals of Annie Leibovitz(what little I could get). I don't know her. Never met her. Only saw her on E! once. What I had to work with was loose interpretation and someone saying that "It's hard to say 'no' to her." Implying that she gets people to say 'yes' to her 'art' regardless of the consequences. The real Annie Leibovitz may be far different from my portrayal here, but I wanted to vent a little as it seemed like she got nowhere near the grief Miley did.
In my opinion the media should have given Leibovitz equal coverage, if not scorn. And I was disappointed that they didn't. Aside from a few mentions Leibovitz was treated like a non entity. Nothing written on her business practices, nothing written on her artistic style. It just seemed like the media couldn't bother with her. Leibovitz's shot may have been 'artistic' to some. But Miley was the wrong person to do such a shot with according to some. I think more than just a bit of the focus should have been sent Leibovitz's way, and I was disappointed in the amount that was-little to none.
One day I hope to write something in regards to Miley's journey through the trials and tribulations of fame. I'll post it when it's ready. It wouldn't be a fic, it would be a report. And since doesn't allow reports to be posted I'll find another site to do it at.
Also you took notice of a character called 'Mark Buckman'? Well I'm sure you know who he's based off of. But right now I'll just leave it at the name. Let someone else run with it.
I guess that's it. I'm still working on my Doctor Who/Hannah Montana story and will get the next part posted once it's ready. It truly is a piece of work. But I guess I just wanted to say 'If you're going to give a teenaged star grief they should share the lack of wealth to those responsible as well.' And that's what I hoped to do with this story. Not to mention do a little venting. Incidentally, that bit with T-shirts being considered 'gang related'? That actually happened. I know. I went to that school. And the bit with the 'judgment call/mistake'? That was inspired by the series Royal Pains on USA Network.
Take care.
John