Hi guys! Here's another of Soroka's mindless drabbles. I missed writing One Piece characters in a modern AU and after writing "So call me maybe" I kind of felt like getting back into this setting.
Enough chit-chat, on with the show!
"You know what's really unfair?" Usopp put down his drink and shot a hurt look at the green-haired man across the table. "How come you're broke at the end of every month and still get to travel more than us?"
Zoro just shook his head and shrugged, nursing the beer glass in his hand. The golden liquid sloshed back and forth before he raised it to his lips again and took one long gulp.
"I don't know why you guys make such a big deal out of it. All I get to see is usually the airport, the hotel room and the competition hall anyway. They all look pretty much the same."
Usopp rolled his eyes in frustration. Under the bright fluorescent light of the bar, Zoro's teeth looked unnaturally white on his tanned face. He saw his lips moving but the words were drowned in a loud burst of music as a new song replaced the one petering out on the speakers. When the blaring into died down, he leaned over the table and frowned.
"Where was your last tournament? Malaysia?" Zoro nodded absentmindedly. "How the hell do you spend five days in Malaysia and not do some sightseeing?"
There was a small chuckle to his left.
"Because he'd probably get lost the second he stepped out of the hotel. I'm still amazed they don't have him on a leash or something"
Zoro's grey eyes narrowed dangerously as he turned to the blond cook sitting next to him.
"Shut up, curly brow! The club doesn't pay me to wander around to look at meaningless stuff. Do you want me to pay rent this month or not?"
Sanji held the angry glare in silent defiance before he breathed a long, dismissive sigh and turned away, tapping his fingers to the beat of the drums. The long wine glass next to him quivered a bit on the smooth wooden surface.
"Do whatever you want, moss-for brains! I can live without that money;you're the one who needs the room."
Zoro's lips curved into a small, malicious smile.
"You mean you'd let me stay for free?"
"Fuck you, I didn't say that!" Sanji's eyebrows twitched as he finished the crimson liquid in his glass and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I still can't believe they pay you for waving a sword around."
Zoro's expression grew even more annoyed as he let out a dismissive grunt.
"What do you know about shinkendo anyway?" He raised the glass again and took a controlled, measured gulp, doing his best to appear nonchalant. "I still can't believe they pay you for that overpriced bullshit you call food."
"What the hell did you just say?!" Sanji's eyes flared as he stared down the now openly grinning Zoro. For a second, his face contorted in mute rage as he opened his mouth to snap back at the martial artist but at the last moment he froze and turned around.
"What the...?"
Zoro froze as well, surprised by the immediate change in the cook's demeanor. From his side of the table, Usopp could see his friend's long fingers closing around the wine glass so hard, his knuckles went white. The blue eyes scanned the crowd behind them as if searching for something. When they finally settled on a tall, wiry young man with a large green sphere in his hand, his face locked into an expressionless mask.
"Give me a second. I'll be right back."
The words were almost robotic when he stood up, slid his coat off his shoulders and walked away. Zoro's eyes followed him in silent astonishment before turning back to Usopp.
"Oi, what's his problem?"
Usopp just shrugged.
"I don't know. An old acquaintance maybe?"
Sanji didn't believe in fate.
The concept didn't terrify him, like it happened with some of his more superstitious friends, but he still found it somewhat alien and nonsensical every time he heard Zoro talk about it. However, as he made his way through the crowd, he found himself willing to admit to the existence of convenient coincidences. The music had been loud ever since they stepped into the bar and the voices around them had been growing even louder as the night went on. And yet, in this sea of people, and blinding lights and screaming guitars there had been one brief moment of absolute silence during which five seemingly innocent words reached his ears.
Do you believe in ESP?
The man holding the green orb looked much shorter now that he was closer. Sanji stopped a couple of steps away and positioned himself next to him, pretending to watch the large plasma screen right above on which a blond girl sang something unintelligible into a large microphone shaped like an ice cream cone. Sanji's eyes quickly scanned the man's outfit which consisted of a rather tight purple and brown suit complete with an out of place tattered brown cape and a necklace made of out large black and white beads interspersed with long animal teeth. The abundant, dark eyeliner around his eyes made them appear a bit sunken and under the bright lights, his face seemed even paler than it should.
His voice, however, sounded surprisingly deep when he spoke to the girl standing next to him.
"Well, do you?"
The girl gave him a surprised glance and took a hesitant step closer. A myriad of red and green dots swarming the bar settled on her skinny jeans and long loose shirt. The man with the orb gave her an appraising look and remained silent waiting for her answer.
"Uuum… no I don't." She spoke slowly, as if measuring every word. Her gaze settled on the orb but immediately shot upwards when the man spoke again.
"Why not?"
This time, the warmth in his voice was gone replaced by slightly harsher tone. The girl paused for a second, as if taken aback, brown eyes blinking in confusion. When she answered, there was a tiny stutter in her voice.
"Be…because that's impossible."
The man gave her a wide smile. For a second, the warmth returned to his features again.
"Nothing is impossible. I bet you a drink I can tell you everything about you right now."
This time, the brown eyes rolled as her lips spread in a sarcastic smile.
"You mean like in a horoscope? I told you that I don't believe in…"
"No, no, I don't mean like a horoscope, I mean like the real deal." The young man's hand shot forwards grabbing the girl's wrist as she made an attempt to turn around and leave. "Come on, what do you have to lose? One drink?"
The girl's eyes widened a little bit. She instinctively pulled her hand out of the grasp only to find the man's fingers already relaxed but still wrapped around her wrist. She looked up and gave him a dismissive shrug.
"Okay, one drink."
The young man's face lit up for a second as he spun the green sphere in his hand.
"See? Was that so hard?" He sat on a stool and settled the object on his knees, gently stroking its polished green surface with the fingers of one hand. "Now let's get to know each other. My name's Adam. And yours is… Melissa? Is it?"
The girl's mouth fell slightly open as she looked at the sphere, then back at him.
"Yeah… how did you…?"
"I told you! ESP!" He closed his eyes for a second, swaying theatrically on the stool then opened them again. "Aaaand you just started college, didn't you?"
The girl nodded slowly.
"Drama school actually… How do you know tha…?"
"Didn't you hear me? I told you, I can read your mind!" Adam let out a frustrated sigh and tapped his fingers on the green orb. Melissa gave him a quizzical look and cast her eyes over the polished surface again.
"With this?"
Adam shook his head impatiently and pointed at his own forehead.
"No! With this! This…" he pointed at the orb again. "This just helps. Now be quiet and let me finish. I can't keep this up for too long."
Melissa opened her mouth but fell silent under the stern look. She shrugged again and raised her hands in defeat.
"Okay, okay, do your thing."
"Thank you! Now, I can see that you're shy…" Melissa shifted uncomfortably and looked away. "I can also see that you like cats. I can see you're not from around here. And I can also see…"
He paused for a second. The girl just stared at him, eyes wide and unblinking.
"What? What else?"
The young man on the stool smiled again. This time, the grin was so wide Sanji could almost see all his teeth.
"I can also see that you're looking for a new beginning. I can see that you're tired of the version of you that everybody knows and you desperately want to change."
He looked straight into her eyes and this time she didn't turn away. His hands slowly travelled over to her head and lifted out a stray streak of pink from her long dark bangs.
"You got this not very long ago, didn't you? It's part of your new persona." Melissa shook a bit but didn't move as Adam's eyes lingered on her legs. "Also, you would have never worn plus sized skinny jeans back at home. But here, no one knows who you are. You can leave the awkward, shy Melissa behind and be reborn. Right?"
For a second, the girl's lips quivered as she took a step backwards. Her hands slipped into her pockets and curled into tiny fists inside them. When she raised her head again, the brown eyes looked slightly moist.
Adam, still perched in the stool didn't even flinch.
"So? Did I earn that drink?"
The girl hesitated, then slowly stepped closer again giving him the slightest of nods.
"Yeah, everything's pretty much spot on."
The young man's grin stretched further. From where Sanji was standing, if almost resembled an open maw.
"Great! Now just let me deal with something and I'll be right back. Could you get me a rum and Coke?"
Melissa slowly nodded again and turned to the bartender, tugging nervously at the pink streak in her hair. The young man gave her a wink, jumped down from the stool and headed towards the further end of the bar, leaving the large green sphere behind.
For a while, Sanji remained where he stood, still pretending to watch the screen. The burning rage rising inside him while he was listening to their conversation was gradually dying down now, replaced by calm and collected determination. However, the uncomfortable, queasy feeling that overcame him ever since he spotted the young man with the green orb had only gotten stronger. As he focused on the girl with the pink streak, who was now paying for two large drinks, he felt his stomach churn.
Maybe it wasn't really fate that brought him here after all. Maybe it was just good old-fashioned karma.
He turned around and followed Adam through the crowd.
If there was something the Devil Fruit desperately needed, Sanji thought, it was better lighting. The place was usually okay but there were some spaces, especially the ones around the bathrooms that felt like little black holes that swallowed all the light around and seemed to conceal their own tiny universes. Usually, they contained couples making out, teenagers breaking the no-smoking rule or students trying to sneak out without paying for their drinks. As he stood near the darkest spot in the bar, right next to the men's bathroom, Sanji silently thanked the owner for never fixing that problem. This time, the lack of light would prove to be useful.
He saw Adam come out of the bathroom, drying his hands on the tight brown pants. He squinted a bit as he searched the crowd for the girl waiting for him at the counter. He was about to head back when Sanji's hand reached out of the darkness and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hey, can I talk to you?"
The young man turned around. For a second, he looked almost surprised before his eyes scanned him up and down and his expression turned sour.
"Piss off, weirdo!"
He threw him a look of pure disdain and rolled his eyes, ready to turn away. Sanji let out a long, frustrated sigh.
"Fuck this. At least I tried to be nice about it."
He took a step forward and cornered him. Adam's back collided against a thin wooden partition behind him. The beads around his neck clinked softly against one another.
"Hey, hey! Give it a rest!" Adam tried to move away again but found every possible exit blocked. "Look, I'm not into… whatever this is, okay? Let me fucking go!"
His voice sounded a bit younger and weaker than he remembered. Sanji wondered if he had been faking that deep baritone while talking to Melissa but he quickly dismissed the thought, raised his left knee and pressed it right under the young man's bellybutton hard enough to force a small grunt of pain out of him.
"Listen to me, and listen real close." Sanji's fingers snapped in front of the young man's face forcing the slightly panicked eyes to focus on his. "You probably think you're the hottest shit on the planet right now. You walk in here dressed as a fucking witch doctor, with a goddamn scrying orb from World of Warcraft and you think you own this place?" Adam tried to move away again but Sanji's knee kept him still. "Who are you studying under? Flytrap? Or maybe some other dirtbag from his circle?"
Even in the semi-darkness of the corner they stood in, Sanji could see the young man's eyes widen at the mention of the name. He nodded a bit as his eyes wandered around with a begging expression, trying to catch the gaze of anybody else in the crowd but another strong kick made him wince and snap his head back.
"They tell you it's all so easy, isn't it?" Sanji could feel the wave of anger build inside his chest again as he did his best not to increase the pressure on Adam's stomach. "You walk up to a girl with some bullshit opener, you gradually lower her self-esteem until she's desperate enough to gain your approval and then you just use her and discard her like fucking tissue paper. "He twisted his knee to the left, forcing the young man to look in Melissa's direction. "You must be really proud of that shitty trick back there. Did you listen to her talk to her friends for a while until you caught her name? Probably saw some cat hair on her clothes and worked your way up from there?"
The young man's face was slowly losing the panicked look and was gradually progressing into a furious grimace. Sanji twisted him back, slamming him against the wooden panel again when he fought to break free.
"Except that's all there is to you, isn't it?" Sanji leaned forward, forcing another gasp of pain from the still struggling man. "Smoke, mirrors and pop psychology. Let's imagine, for the sake of argument, that you actually manage to lower her defenses and get her to sleep with you. Let's even imagine that you manage to leave an impression on her. Do you know what's going to happen eventually?"
Adam's right hand curled into a fist and shot forward, barely missing Sanji's head. There was a brief flash of triumph in his eyes before they clouded over as Sanji's knee dug deeper into his body and the pained gasp turned into an actual cry of agony.
"I'll tell you what's going to happen." Sanji's voice dropped from the angry growl to a calm, steady monotone. "Eventually, she's going to figure out what kind of scum you and your kind are. She's going to feel sad and embarrassed. Maybe you'll leave a scar or two. But you know what?" He leaned away from the young man, still pinned against the wall like a fly. "She's going to learn from this and move on with her life. And somewhere down the line, she'll find someone who loves her for who she is and she won't ever feel the need to please assholes like you again."
If looks could kill, Sanji was sure he would have spontaneously combusted at that very moment. He could see the young man's lips quivering, trying in vain to form a string of coherent syllables but all that came out of his mouth was a long series of agonized mumbles. His hand was very slowly gathering into a fist again but his arm was shaking too much to even raise it.
"You'll be dismissed and forgotten, like you deserve." Sanji shook his head at Adam's futile attempts to break his hold and gave him a mocking smile. "You'll become a drunken story she'll tell her close friends or a cautionary tale she'll tell her daughter. And that's what you'll ever going to be to anyone you meet; an embarrassing but ultimately forgettable mistake."
The young man's face twisted in pain as Sanji's knee retracted from his abdomen leaving him gasping for air. For a second, Sanji was sure that he was just going to launch himself at him anyway but Adam just remained where he stood, as if the thin wooden panel was the only thing keeping him upright. His hands pressed against his stomach, massaging the crushed section. In the faint light barely illuminating the corner, Sanji could see the eyeliner running down his face in long black streams.
"Now, I don't have ESP, but I bet I can tell you exactly what's going to happen in the next ten seconds." He snapped his fingers again and pointed towards the counter where Melissa was tapping her foot to the rhythm of the music. "You're going to go back, apologize to her and say that something came up and you have to leave. You're going to pay for those drinks, you're going to wish her all the best and then you're going to go home and rethink your life choices. If you don't, I'll shove my foot so far up your ass, your mouth will taste like shoe polish for the rest of the month. Do I make myself clear?"
Adam took a step forward, still swaying a bit. His fighting spirit seemed to have completely fled him but his clouded eyes were still giving him a murderous look.
"Fuck you, eyebrows! You can't do that!"
Sanji gave him a steely glare that made the young man in front of him stop in his tracks.
"I can, and I will. I just really don't want to because it's a nice night and none of these people came here to watch me kick your ass." He glanced casually at a leather watch on his wrist. "Your time begins now. Ten…"
A familiar panicked look crossed the young man's face. It was quickly replaced by fury as he took another step forward raising his fists.
"I'll end you, you bastard! Do you even know who I am?"
Sanji shook his head, still not taking his eyes off the watch.
"Don't know, don't care, probably never will." He looked at the raised fists and gave him a mocking half grin. "Clock is ticking, witch doctor. Nine…"
Adam's arms shook slightly as his fingers relaxed. When he spoke his defiant tone acquired a subtle ring of fear.
"I won't forget this!"
Sanji grinned even wider.
"That I can guarantee if you don't get moving. Eight…"
"Okay fine! Whatever!" Adam let out a frustrated grunt and kicked the wooden panel behind him. He threw Sanji one last furious look and tore away from him towards the dancing crowd.
Sanji's foot hooked around his ankles, slowing him down.
"Smile when you talk to her! There's no point in upsetting her any further." Adam just grumbled something indistinct and nodded slightly. "And don't forget that green thingy of yours. The game shop next door might want it back."
Usopp was beginning to get uneasy.
It was not a sensation he could ever fully explain but when he saw the cook stand up and walk away, he immediately knew something was up. There was a familiar dangerous glint in the blue eyes and a certain slowness to his movements as if he was doing his best to control himself. It was the calm before the storm he had learned to recognize and dread and thus, he had spent the last fifteen minutes frantically scanning the far end of the bar expecting some sort of commotion to ensue at any moment. When he saw Sanji make his way back through the crowd and calmly return to his chair next to Zoro, he could feel his eyebrows furrow in puzzlement.
"What the hell was that?"
He threw him a confused look and peered at the counter behind the cook, trying to catch another glimpse of the young man in the brown and purple clothes. Sanji just shook his head dismissively.
"Just some pest control, nothing more."
Zoro rolled his eyes and spun his empty beer glass on the table.
"Oh, that's great! I was afraid you were going to be vague about it."
Sanji's eyes ignited in silent rage as his head turned in the green-haired man's direction.
"Shut up, it's none of your goddamn business!"
There was something in his voice that made Usopp wary. Under the bright lights of the bar, he could see a subtle twitch on Sanji's face, like something painful just jabbed him in a vulnerable spot. Zoro just shrugged and looked at his empty glass with slight longing.
"Fine, if you wanna get all riled up because of a kid, it's your problem."
Sanji growled a curse under his breath and buried his face in his hands. When he looked up again, his expression softened a bit.
"I'm not riled up. It's just…" He drummed his fingers on the table as the twitch returned to his features. "People like him really piss me off."
"You mean people who dress like cartoon villains on a budget?" Usopp snickered. "Did you see the green ball he was carrying? What was up with that?"
"That's called peacocking." Sanji spat the last word like it burned his tongue. "It's supposed to attract attention. They think it makes them more visible… or something like that."
The last words slowly devolved into a mumble like he immediately regretted saying them. Usopp's eyes narrowed as Sanji's gaze quickly avoided his.
"Who are they exactly?"
"Nobody worth talking about!" Sanji fell silent for a while until Usopp inquisitive stare broke him into speaking up again. "They're sort of like underground love gurus." He raised his hands making quotation marks in the air. "They're nothing but manipulative bastards with a big ego and a chronic inability to see a girl as anything else than a sex toy."
He was quiet again, drumming his fingers on the table and still avoiding his eyes. Usopp could not help but notice a sly smile slowly beginning to spread over Zoro's face. He turned back to Sanji who was growing more and more uncomfortable under the flashing lights.
"Really? Was that guy a pick up artist?"
Sanji looked up and shook his head vehemently.
"No, he was a pick up artist in training. That's the only reason he's walking away in one piece and not with a broom stuck up his ass." He sank his fingers in his hair and let out a small exasperated sigh. "I wish they stopped meeting here. I like this place."
"How do you know they meet here?"
Zoro's voice sounded almost too innocent to be sincere. A malicious spark danced in the grey eyes as they focused on Sanji who just kept staring at his empty glass, lips pressed so tightly, they almost disappeared from his face. A dark shade of crimson slowly built its way up the cook's neck and spilled around his cheeks at which point Usopp's mouth fell open in disbelief.
"No…way!" He felt a slight chuckle escape his lips as he stared at Sanji who was now doing his best to make himself as small as he could. "You?! Sanji I'll-flay-my-own-fingers-before-disrespecting-a-woman Blackleg?! You used to run with these guys?!"
Sanji's head snapped up as he shot him a mortified look.
"Will you keep your voice down?!" Zoro snorted as Sanji's leaned over the table and beckoned them closer. "I was young and stupid! And I didn't run with them, I went to one or two meetings when I started college. Spent the rest of the day in the shower and I still didn't feel clean when I stepped out." A brief look of disgust crossed his face before he shut his eyes and shook his head. "Look, we all have that one moment in our lives we just want to erase forever. This is mine, all right?"
Zoro just smirked again and continued to stare at the cook in mild amusement. The slight twitch on his face was getting weaker but still hadn't disappeared completely.
"You can't tell anyone about this, okay?! Especially Vivi. For God's sake, don't tell Vivi!"
If they weren't separated by the table, Usopp was sure the cook would have grabbed his shoulders and shaken him like a doll. The utter desperation in his eyes almost made him smile. Zoro stopped smirking and looked at him in confusion.
"Why are you so afraid of her, dartbrow? Girl's barely a hundred pounds soaking wet. And she's not even the violent type."
"I'm not afraid of her hitting me, dumbass!" Sanji rolled his eyes in frustration and leaned away from them. "It's those eyes she has. I swear she can make you confess your darkest secrets if she just looks at you the right way."
Zoro chuckled and turned away from the cook. The smirk slowly returned to his face again.
"Do you realize how whipped you are?"
"Who the hell asked you anything?!" For a second Sanji seemed to have forgotten about his current plight as his eyes glared daggers at Zoro. He was about to yell something else at the martial artist before turning to Usopp again with an almost pleading ring in his voice. "I'm serious! Nobody can know! If you tell anyone, they'll never find your bodies."
"You can´t threaten somebody if they have leverage over you, buddy." Usopp chuckled a bit at the cook's panicked expression and gave him a reassuring nod. "Okay, okay, don't fret so much. Our lips are sealed. Right?"
He looked across the table at Zoro who just shrugged and nodded back.
"Yeah, sure, whatever..."
Sanji's shoulders slumped in relief as he sagged back on the chair, long blond bangs hiding his expression from them. He fiddled with his empty wine glass for a few moments, then stood up and turned towards the counter.
"I need a stronger drink. You guys want another round?"
Usopp nodded as he watched the cook let out a long, exhausted sigh and head towards the far end of the bar. Zoro's eyes followed him briefly before he snickered a bit and turned around to face Usopp.
"See, this is why I tolerate him as roommate. You can't buy that kind of entertainment."
"I don't know… I might have something that tops this." Usopp grinned and finished his drink in one big gulp. "Wait till Sanji comes back and I'll tell you all about Boa Hancock and her tragic love for Monkey D. Luffy"
Aaand that's all folks. You can blame this plot bunny on my significant other who told me all about pick up artists. After the initial rage died down, I just had to write a story about Sanji shooting down one of them.
Hope you enjoyed it. If you did, don't forget to review!