Shatterd Glass

Shattered Glass

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel, Blah Blah Woof Woof. I wish I did own it though

Zack stood looking out the window, sulking at Logan's apartment. He wouldn't even look at the face that was across the room from him. "Sorry." He told Logan for about the millionth time that evening.
Logan, who was still shocked from that afternoon's event, told his "friend", "Hey you did what you had to do."
Zack was the most shocked of all, he still couldn't believe what he had done, to his friend, his baby sister. He still asked Logan, "Do you think that she's alight?"
Logan, a true believer didn't hesitate in his answer, "I know she is Zack. And I am sure that she's thanking you for being the big brother once more."
Zack turned and looked at Logan with hatred in his eyes, "yeah well I don't fell like the big brother anymore, I fell like I murdered my sister."
Logan's question was quick, although he knew how to help Zack, "Why?"
Zack hesitated, knowing that Logan knew the answer already. When he saw Logan's face he knew it was the least he could do for him. Zack took a breath, "Because we were beaten pretty bad and Manticore would have gotten us."
He paused for so long Logan just asked, "And?"
Zack continued, not letting Logan see the tears in his eyes, "And she was hurt. Bleeding and broken down. She would have died anyway, gun shot wound to her lung. She would have been suffering all that time." He glanced up at Logan; "Did I do the right thing?"
Logan knew that he shouldn't try to hug Zack, Zack would just kill him. He instead offered Zack a warm smile, "Yes you did."
Zack nodded, he needed to be told he had done the right thing. Still, Max was an X5, anything could happen with them. She might have been ok if he had brought her back to Logan. Zack sighed as he turned back to looking out of the window, sulking still. He'd never be able to forgive himself for what he had just done. As Zack stared out the window his mind wondered to thinking about the afternoon. He could still hear Max's voice and it was so clear to him. Thinking back he knew all of the events that happened in what order.

Earlier that afternoon he and Max had gotten into a fight with Brin and lost. Brin had no order to fight with them. When she first appeared she had a hand held gun. She fired it, at Max when Zack had seen this he attacked Brin, Brin shot him in the leg. After they were both down, Brin withdrew. Then Zack heard the sounds of Manticore jeeps approaching. Zack crawled over to Max and shock her on the shoulder, "Come on baby sis, don't do this to me."
She opened her eyes slowly, "Hi Zack."
Zack looked down at her; blood was pouring out of her shirt from the gunshot wound. He told her, "We gotta get out of here ASAP." He would have carried Max, but he was in no condition to add the extra weight of Max on him. He helped her up, slowly but steadily.
Once they were up, Zack and Max walked side by side. Max wasn't gonna admit that she was hurting. Zack listened and heard Manticore get closer to them. He looked at Max, "look sis, I want you to do me a favor. I know that you are hurting and I can't carry you right now. But I need you to run with me as fast as you can. You know why." That was the first mistake Zack made. Max looked down a minute then nodded she would try too.
Zack took off, slow as the average human at first to see if his sister could keep up. After a while, Zack looked back and saw that she could so he ran faster. Max kept up for a while. But finally she became careless of where she was going. She stumbled into holes, tripped over lose rocks and everything, just to try to keep up with her brother.
Then, it happened. Max's lungs couldn't keep running she collapsed. Zack heard her and fell back to go after his sister. He bent down next to where she was coughing up her own blood. Zack placed a hand genteelly on his sister's shoulder, "Its going to be alight." He told her. Even though he knew the truth and so did Max.

Zack felt the tears rise up to his eyes remembering all of this. He didn't bother to wipe them away, just let them slide down his checks to join the others already collected there.

Max somehow managed to smile at her brother, the only older brother that she knew. Zack looked at his baby sis and stroked her check some. Before he knew it he had put her upper body in his hands and was still stroking her check. He whipped away some blood that had formed on his sissy's check.
His genetically engineered ears picked up the sounds of the Manticore Jeeps coming at them. He knew Max and him didn't have a lot of time left. He couldn't carry her. His leg was loosing blood and he'd drop her. Zack couldn't let himself be captured by them, and he couldn't let Max be captured by them. He knew what they would do to her, they'd reprogram her so she'd lose all of her heart and soul. She'd be like Brim. Zack couldn't let that happen, he had to do something. He couldn't take her away and drag her, not like this.
He looked down at his baby sis again, her shirt had been soaked by her own blood. She was fading fast. He knew that by the time Manticore got to her she'd be dead anyway. Zack still couldn't leave her, knowing she was like this.
He told her, "I love you Maxi. I always have and always will, no matter what."
Max was confused, but managed to say, "I love you too Zack."
Zack continued, "I will always be there for you, always. I am glade and always will be glade to be your big brother. I never said this but I was always proud of you Max. You have guts. I never said this before, I should of. I was going to tell you someday about the others." Max looked at him confused. 'Why is he talking like this?' she wondered.
He looked into her chocolate brown eyes one more time before saying, "I'm sorry, I really am. Forgive me." Max looked up at him with more confusion written all over her face. He looked at her one more time, looked up held her neck hard in his hands, hesitated for a moment. Zack sighed he closed his eyes and twisted his hand as hard as he could. He didn't hear Max struggle, or maybe she didn't struggle at all. What Zack knew is that when he looked at his sister again, he knew he had killed her. The same way as Max had killed Ben, with the same reasons, to protect him/her.
Zack sat for a few minutes, looking at the lifeless form of Max. He cried, openly. He let his fluent tears fall onto Max's neck. His tears collected there and fell down on the soft brown dirt.
He heard the Manticore jeep approaching. He had to leave now or be captured. Giving his sister one last look he told her the only phrase that he knew in Spanish, "Vaya con Dios", go with god. Zack knew that Max's parents were Hispanic so he hoped and almost prayed that Max knew what he meant. Zack has never been much of a believer at all, he had to see something to believe it. But he wanted to think that Max was in a different place now, maybe even with God. She deserved to be with God, if there was such a thing.

He thought about the first time that he saw his baby sister. He was about 4, and god knows he could still remember that. Max had been maybe 1 or 11/2. For she could walk and she was curious as to why Zack was looking at her that way. He remembered Deck telling him that Zack was Max's commanding officer. Max didn't understand just yet. She had tried to play with Zack, Deck told her no and slapped her hand. Max cried and cried but Deck wouldn't let Max go near Zack. Finally Deck just took Max away and locked her back into her cell. He remembered Max's cries out to him, that's the first time Zack remembered knowing that he was in charge of someone else.
Later Zack remembered going to look at Max again. This was about 2 months after they first met. Deck hadn't let Max out of her cell sense that first time. Deck was trying to teach Max that crying was bad. Zack came up to the bars to look at her. Max had looked up to see him looking at her. Zack didn't say anything, just looked at her. X5-452 got up and ran to the bars. Zack could see that her face was still soaked from the tears that she had cried. They both stayed there a while looking at each other. Finally Zack said, "Hi."
X5-452 looked at him, smiled and said, "Hi" back to him. They didn't say any other words. When Deck had seen X5-559 looking at X5-452, he yelled, "X5-559 you'll get to know X5-452 in time. But right now you need to get back in your cell." Zack looked at Deck and ran away. He ran scared to his cell. On his bed he thought about X5-452. About how he, X5-559, got to be in charge of other people. One day x5-452 would work with him and the others. One day

And now this
Zack bent down and did something he never thought that he would do to anyone, he kissed her on the check. After that he felt her hair, stroked it. Knowing that his time was very limited here, he had to go. He looked at his baby sister one last time, "It'll be ok Maxie, I just know it." With that he stood up and ran away. Leaving Max alone was the one of the hardest things that Zack has ever had to do.
Zack ran and cried. He thought he had done the right thing and hoped it with all of his heart. He still had to get his head in the game. But how could he do that when his heart was all the way in his shoes?
When he got clear away from the troubled spot he turned around for just a moment, to see if he could catch one last glimpse of his baby sister. Nothing but dead air and dust. He couldn't see Deck's shocked expression to be seeing Max's body. He couldn't see Deck almost cry before letting Manticore take her body away. He didn't know that Manticore would cut her up and take her insides to give to other people. He couldn't know
As soon as he was clear, Zack broke down on the ground and cried. Endless time passed before he could get up and manage to walk to Logan's. To tell him of this horrible incident and to get help. Zack never admitted to anyone although he did like Logan. He never disapproved of Max going for him. He wished now he had told Max, that Max would know. Instead now, she would never know.
Zack remembered almost walking away from Logan's apartment. He went in through the door this time, so he was being semi normal. He just blurted out that he killed Max. He showed no sensitivity towards Logan as he told him. Just plain, "hi Logan, guess what? I killed your girlfriend." No, Zack thought about saying that and leaving, he couldn't bring himself to doing that. Not to Logan at least.

Zack stared out the window some more; hoping by some miracle Max would show up at Logan's. She'd probably be mad at Zack but she'd get over it. Zack would grab her in his arms and hug her like he never did before.
Then an idea came to him. As he turned to leave Logan asked, "Where are you going?"
Zack relied, "To do some thinking."
Logan asked concerned, "Will you be back?"
Zack hesitated; he hadn't planned on it, "Alight. Be back later." Logan smiled, he liked having Zack around. Logan wouldn't admit it to Zack that he liked Zack and that Zack was a good big brother to Max and all of the other X5s. As Zack walked away Logan sat back down on the sofa to cry endless tears that he had been holding back from Zack.

A while later Zack was sitting on top of the Space Needle, looking down at the quiet city below. This broke down city. This was the city that Max had come to love so much. This was her city, Max's city. This was the city Zack had tried to get Max to leave so much. Now, he sort of understood why she wouldn't.
Zack (voice over) "Sometimes it just seems like it never happened, like she was in a dream I had, Although I can still see her smile if I close my eyes. She was the best woman that I knew and loved. I know that she will never be really gone, she will be with me wherever I go. She was the best, my baby sister, Max."