Just like to mention that his was only the second Stargate story that I wrote and posted back in February 2002. I thought you might like to read a revised version of it, but please bear in mind that I was fairly new to writing at that time; and even though I'm revising it, it remains basically the same - give or take a few – okay, several - words.
It's not that long a story, just a few chapters and - sorry people, but it was written before I knew anything about shippers and before my own leanings that way had developed, so unfortunately no Jack and Sam in this one.
Have A Nice Day, Jack!
by Lingren.
Category: Angst, Drama, Humour, Hurt/Comfort. Violence.
Spoilers: Gamekeeper, Rites of Passage, Show and Tell, and possibly others. Season: Season 5, after Rites of Passage.
Warnings: Odd curses. Jack Whumping.
Summary: Jack appears to suffer all sort of mishaps because Daniel is having an 'off day'. But then, perhaps things are not quite what they first appear to be?
Disclaimer: Don't own Stargate SG-1 unfortunately, so No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.
First Posted in 2002. Updated in 2007.
"Have A Nice Day, Jack!"
by Lingren.
Chapter 1 – A Good Start to a New Day...
"Have a nice day Jack."
That in itself was just a simple and innocent enough statement, meant to imply exactly what those words had alluded to...
That's precisely what Mrs. Collins his elderly neighbour had called out to Colonel Jack O'Neill early this morning when he'd left his house, heading in to work at the SGC. He was actually looking forward to this mission. It was supposedly to be a nice easy excursion off-world after the gruelling assignments of late.
He had quite cheerfully waved back at the pensioner as he'd climbed into his truck at some ungodly hour when all his other neighbours could sleep in until later.
'Oiy! Yeah, sure… He was having a super day. It had been real nice. What else could go wrong?' Jack pondered to himself while he sat on the top step of the dais which held the Stargate in place. He was patiently waiting for his 2IC Major Samantha – Sam - Carter to send the iris code so they could all go home through the portal. He just couldn't wait for that.
'Thanks Mrs. C. "Have a nice day Jack, indeed!" Oh yeah, it was turning out to be one 'hell' of a day, which would be a better acronym for it. Amongst others.'
"Sir?" Sam Carter knelt on one knee to look up into her CO's face, her hand resting on his shoulder and not just for balance. She'd felt embarrassed over the way the mission had turned out, even though the results had nothing whatsoever to do with her. She was blameless, as was Teal'c.
Jack pulled one of his hands away from his face, making Sam wince.
"Carter?"
OoOoOoOoO
The klaxons under Cheyenne Mountain burst into life, and the usual 'Unauthorized gate activity', bellowed out of the speakers throughout the base. Major General George Hammond stood up from behind his desk in his office, and made his way down to the control room.
"What now? There's no team is due back yet! Do we have a Iris code sergeant?"
"Just coming through now Sir... Sir, it's SG1."
"What in god's name has happened now? Open the Iris! They've only been gone for 3 hours. Better gat a medical team up here right away, just in case!" Hammond ordered, dreading what he might see when the team arrived home.
It was only meant to be a simple mission. A walk in the park, so Jack had described it. So with an early return, something must have gone very wrong. Hammond couldn't think of any other reason why they would be coming back so soon.
"Yes Sir!"
OoOoOoOoO
"We have the go ahead Sir!"
Carter's voice had jogged him from his miserable reverie, and Jack impatiently waved his free hand in the direction of the Stargate, indicating that they should all go through it.
At this irritable gesture, Daniel Jackson raced up the steps to put as much distance between himself and Jack. However in his haste to escape another angry tirade, he tripped on the last of the steps and dived headlong into the wormhole. Carter could barely keep herself from giggling and looked across at Jack. He stood up with difficulty and glared at her.
"It's not that funny Carter," he grumbled, secretly wondering if it would be wise to wait a few minutes to allow Daniel time to step clear of the ramp before he followed.
"No Sir." She replied, turning to look at Teal'c but his face was as impassive as ever. She stifled another giggle and fled into the wormhole, before she could be reprimanded by her CO for unbecoming conduct, just as she broke into a peal of real laughter. Teal'c looked towards his friend, one eyebrow raised in question.
"It's okay Teal'c. I'm fine. I can manage. See you on the other side, big guy."
Teal'c inclined his head in his usual fashion.
"Very well O'Neill." he replied. "I will if you so wish it." Then he quickly withdrew backwards through the gate.
Jack grumbled to himself for a minute. He had the mother of all headaches and was hoping Doc Fraiser would have some Tylenol at least to help stop his head from falling off. He took a deep breath, which he instantly regretted, and painfully climbed the steps to disappear into the portal too.
OoOoOoOoO
One always knew that when entering the vortex at speed, the exit was somewhat faster. Daniel recalled this subject the moment he hurtled out of the wormhole to bounce painfully onto the ramp, resting to get his bearings before finally staggering to his feet.
"Are you all right Dr. Jackson?" The General asked, stepping forward, ready to assist him to his feet.
"I'm just fine!" he replied shrugging off the General's offered hand, and almost knocking him over in his haste to leave the gate-room.
The General stared after him in utter astonishment, before he heard Sam Carter's arrival. Heard was the appropriate word the General observed, considering there was obviously something which she had found very amusing.
Sam did manage to suppress her emotions long enough to greet the General, and when he asked where the Colonel was, she sniggered and pointed to the still active gate.
"He's just coming Sir!" she laughed, turning to grin at Janet Fraiser her closest friend and confidante, making the petite Doctor wonder what had gone on out there.
"What is so funny Major?" Hammond was rapidly growing frustrated with the way his best team was acting. He made a mental note to ask the CMO to run a whole host of tests on the members of SG-1 because he was completely baffled by their behaviour, trusting that they hadn't been compromised on their mission.
Not getting any response from Major Carter because she was busy wiping the tears from her eyes, he turned to face Teal'c as he emerged, hoping to get some sense from the stoical Jaffa if no-one else.
"What's going on here Teal'c? Firstly Dr. Jackson comes flying down the ramp, and in his haste to leave the area he almost knocked me over..."
It was no good, Sam just could not contain herself any longer when she heard this, and ran giggling from the gate-room.
The General, Janet Fraiser and Teal'c stared at the empty doorway, and then at each other. The General was about to ask Teal'c what Major Carter had seen or heard that was so amusing, when the final member of the team stepped through onto the ramp.
All eyes turned towards Colonel Jack O'Neill as he stood silently at the top of the ramp, the wormhole snapping off behind him. He limped down towards the little group at the foot of the ramp. One hand was cupping his lower face where it held a bloodied field dressing up to his nose. His cap was pulled down so far that it covered his eyes, making them darker than usual.
His green BDU's were covered in dark sticky mud. The General was completely baffled by the behaviour of his premiere team. He could see nothing amusing with the situation before his eyes. Colonel O'Neill was obviously injured, Dr. Jackson was, by the look of him, in a foul temper. Major Carter had fled the room in hysterics, and Teal'c was, as usual, very taciturn, revealing nothing.
"Colonel! Just what the Sam Hill is going on? Are you alright?"
"Oh! It's nudding mush Sir." He said, his voice muffled by the dressing he held over his nose. "Danyel's in a bid ov a miff, he excelled hibself today, add all because I wouldn't let him play wid his roxs. Carder foud thigs a bid amusin', and Teal'k is ...well...Teal'k!, norbal, sane, yadda, yadda. As for byself...well...I had a wreally bad day, sir."
"I see...or rather I don't see, Colonel. You'd better let the doctor take a look at those injuries of yours then go get yourself cleaned up. We'll debrief in 2 hours time."
"Yesssir!" he sighed wearily.
Now he knew he was in for more fun. He also knew that the day was going to be a really, really long and humiliating one. He was especially looking forward to the pithy comments from the marines when they discovered what had happened. NOT!
TBC