Title: Sexy no Jutsu
Author: medic2be
Beta-ed by: N/A
Characters/Pairing:Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke
Type: Two/ Three-shot (InComplete)
Genre: Romance/ humour
Word Count: 1304
Theme: N/A
Rating:T
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto-san.
Summary: In which Sasuke's sexuality is questioned. In which Sasuke wonders at the lengths he would go for love. Oh how the mighty have indeed fallen! Crack-fic: Sasu x Saku fluff.
Created on: 21/03/09
Completed on: __/03/09
AN: By the way, this is 'thoughts' and this; 'inner thoughts'
March 28 2009
8:30pm: Sakura's 18th birthday party…
Sasuke was currently employing his superior Gekki kenkai (spelling?) in tracking and maiming the Dobe. How he had allowed Naruto to convince him that this was a brilliant idea was beyond him.
Maybe the prolonged exposure to that gay Snake Bastard, Orochimaru and his equally gay posse headed by Kabuto had twisted his mind more than his idiot tool of a brother ever had.
'Maybe' dare he think it? 'Could he possibly be batting for the proverbial other side?' Sasuke's left eye twitched spasmodically at the absurd thought, despite his current attire, prompting 99% of Konoha's population to agreeing whole heartedly to his earlier sentiment.
'Tch…Nah' he was Uchiha Sasuke and Uchihas were most definitely not gay, or bisexual or asexual despite popular speculation, 'what did they think? That Uchihas reproduced by budding?' Sasuke snorted at the ridiculous notion. Indeed he had recently discovered…feelings for a certain petal haired kunoichi.
Come to think of it…it was his…feelings for said beauty that caused him to usurp the Dobe's position as village idiot, having returned 3 months ago, after a 6 year estrangement.
At least he blew Orochimaru and his band of Merry Gay Followers to the stratosphere with his idiot brother not far behind, 'the ionosphere perhaps,' Sasuke smirked.
Back to the task at hand, he had a certain Dobe's imminent demise to carry out; Sasuke cackled earning more disturbed looks from the citizens, some remarking on his dubious choice of attire.
3 months ago…
"That must be a new record Ugly" Sai remarked dispassionately as he watched his Alter-Ego sail towards a rocky landing into the Hokage Momument, adding a wrinkle to the Godaime Hokage's face. 'Tsunade-sama will be displeased with the new alterations.' He mused wryly.
Naruto inwardly agreed, also among one of the many witnesses to this spectacular display of fury from his spit fire of a female team mate.
'Sasuke-teme's sure has good timing' he reflected sarcastically, 'Suuuuure…pick the day to return during Sakura-chan's time of month and tired after a mission,' Naruto rolled his eyes as he watched Sakura-chan stomping away leaving small craters where her feet landed.
Naruto shivered as he remembered the demented look passing his heart-sister's face before socking the Teme to kingdom come 'or the Hokage monument. Well... at least she wasn't pummelling me…for a change.' Besides, the Teme deserved it for betraying the village, Naruto mused over the exchange that occurred between his two original Team 7 friends…
4 minutes prior…
It was a cool day in Konohagakure no Sato where ninjas and civilians alike were minding there own business.
Team Kakashi, – minus Kakashi, who had made a lame excuse to stop in Suna 3 days ago, to attend an Icha Icha Convention – had just completed an S-ranked mission.
"I can't wait to get back. Instant Ramen isn't as good as the real thing from Ichiraku's! Dattebayo!!"
"Is that all you think about Dickless?"
"Why- YOU- Bastard! Come say that to my fa –"
"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!!!!"
The two males of Team Kakashi managed not to lose their footing by their third member's screech. Both boys winced, recognising the imminent appearance of the wrathful entity that was Inner Sakura. The last time Inner Sakura was set on a rampage, Naruto almost died of Ramen withdrawal and Sai's fingers could no longer hold a paintbrush.
Having gained the desired peace, Sakura focused her gaze towards the looming red gates of her home.
"The hell…" she trailed off, reaching the bustling commotion surrounding the sentry posts as they stepped through the gates.
There was an eerie silence as the mob noticed the dark, irritated aura emanating from a distinctively pissed pink-haired girl, known to level mountains when ticked. In the interests of self preservation the mob parted for team Kakashi, expectant looks plastered the crowd in anticipation of the ensuing carnage.
"Why is everyone looking at us like that?" whispered Naruto.
Before either of his team mates could respond, a silky smooth tenor carried through the expectant silence;
"Long time no see Dobe…Sa-ku-ra." The last Uchiha greeted his old team mates, casting a curious glance towards his look-a-like.
"What are you doing here Uchiha-san?" was the unexpected frosty recrimination from…Sakura?
Sasuke's eyes widened microscopically in surprise at the frosty tone. 'Uchiha-san? What happened to Sasuke-kun? Looks like I've got my work cut out for me.'
Sasuke appraised the kunoichi before him. Sakura had indeed blossomed wonderfully in his absence, developing contoured curves over lean sinewy muscle, only brought through dedicated training. 'Hn…so she's strong, interesting...'
'She grew her hair out,' Sasuke noticed the loose tumbling waves cascading down the arch of her spine. His gaze flicked to her face, Sakura had grown into her forehead and her luminous, slanted, peridot eyes only added to her Femme Fatale appeal.
The Dobe had grown taller too, he acknowledged and judging by his guarded look, more mature too.
Meanwhile Naruto was trying to process the sight of his best friend finally home, coupled with the fact that he would soon be able to pig out at Ichiraku, Naruto was one happy ninja.
Sakura waited impatiently for the prick to answer her question and noted, with displeasure that Sasuke had only grown more beautiful. His features were more chiselled and had lost some of the effeminate softness he possessed as a genin.
His warm perusal of her and Naruto almost made her jaw drop, only by tremendous will and the repeated mantra of 'He's a traitor that hurt Naruto, Kakashi and…me…' prevented her frustrated tears from spilling.
Despite everything, Sakura found it hard to maintain her cold façade as she realised, belatedly, the extenuating circumstances leading to Sasuke's betrayal. But that didn't mean she forgave him.
Sasuke's observed with regret as various emotions of shock, anger, happiness and betrayal flickered across his team mates' eyes.
'Time to make amendments' he thought as he gave them his most pleading puppy eyes.
The effect was somewhat ruined as Sakura scoffed and Naruto looked on…with a rather perplexed expression on his face. His look-a-like smiled placidly.
"Ha, it'll take much more than that for me to forgive you Uchiha." Sakura sniffed.
"I'll do whatever it takes Sakura. Of everyone I have wronged, I hurt you the most."
Sakura gaped at the startling honest admission and searched his eyes for any hint of deception. There was none. Was it so wrong that his voice sent not unpleasant tingles down her spine? It frustrated her that after so long, he still had some semblance of control over her emotions.
Sakura smirked as an idea struck her. She had noticed Sasuke's subtle appraisal of her earlier despite his best attempts at hiding it. She could easily detect his approval.'Time to play a little game' Inner Sakura suggested. 'And I know just what to do' Outer Sakura replied.
"Then prove it Sasuke, shed your male ego and do something totally stupid, outlandish and unexpected to surprise me. And only then will I consider forgiving you."
'Well I did say I'd do anything' as Sasuke contemplated the ultimatum offered.
"Hn"
Taking that as consent, Sakura gave him a sugary smile that instantly made Sasuke feel edgy.
"Oh and one more thing Sasuke-kun" a similar saccharine voice trilled, sending Sasuke's senses to hyper alertness. The –kun did not bode well…
His assumptions were proven to be correct when:
"And your welcome!"
A second later, he had a wonderful birds eye view over his home village as he hurtled at a blinding speed towards the Hokage monument.
Presently… whilst flying through the air after Sakura's chakra enhanced upper cut…
Sasuke wondered exactly what he had agreed to as the Godaime's face loomed closer. Was it his imagination or was the rocky face grinning at him?
AN:
Trust me the story is heading somewhere a little more amusing soon. I just wanted to set the scene. And yes…the title is significant.
So our wandering Uchiha has returned…
"And your welcome!" refers to Sasuke's last words "Thank you" to Sakura. I thought it was oddly appropriate before she pummelled him. I wanted Sakura to be kickass but not hardened.
The next and most likely final chapter should be out by this weekend.
Your reviews are my purpose for my writing.
Please feel free to leave reviews, ideas, comments and opinions etc.
Thanks for reading.
Medic2be
xxx