Disclaimer: Much to my disapointment, i don't own Glee...
Puck slammed the door of his truck shut with a great deal more force than was necessary, attempting to vent some of the frustration he'd been feeling all week. Yeah, it was less satisfying than kicking the shit out of some passerby, but at least it meant he wouldn't get another "anger issues" lecture from Mr Schue. Sadly, the thought of his Spanish teacher did nothing to improve his mood and he drove to school in a fit of road rage so impressive that it would have startled even Finn, who after thirteen years of friendship had witnessed some of the highest ever recordings on the Puckerman scale of Pissed Off. But then again, Finn had never factored into the equation Rachel Berry…
As Puck pulled into the lot, he scowled at the sight of Rachel's pristine blue Volvo heading for one of the only available spaces.
"Fuck that" he growled, stamping his foot on the accelerator so hard that the engine spluttered as the truck jerked forward in hasty pursuit. Due to Rachel's more pedestrian conscience approach to driving, the two teenagers reached the space at the same time. Puck spun the wheel so that he cut across her, then hit hard on the breaks. Rachel was forced to make a dainty swerve to avoid collision and a few seconds later she was rolling down her window looking scandalised.
"Noah! What on earth do you think you're playing at? We could both have been killed!"
Puck stuck his head out his window and looked down at her. "'Sup, Berry?" He smirked, ignoring the hooting from the pile up behind them.
"I demand that you move that monstrosity which you call a vehicle immediately" she ordered him, pointing at his truck with a distasteful expression.
"Make me" said Puck belligerently.
Rachel tutted impatiently. "I'm not arguing with you Noah, but frankly this is ridiculous. I was clearly about to pull into this space when you rudely cut across me and nearly caused a fatal accident."
"Fatal accident?" Puck snorted. "As if. Lame dogs were going faster than you, Berry."
"At least I was obeying the speed limit" Rachel snapped. "Which is more than I can say for you."
"S'not my fault you drive like a pussy."
Rachel spluttered. "Excuse me?"
"I said. You – drive – like – a – pussy" he repeated, enunciating each word clearly as if he was talking to a three year old.
"I heard you the first time" said Rachel through clenched teeth. "I just couldn't believe you were being quite so vulgar."
Puck shrugged. "You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Urgh. You are quite possibly the most annoying person in the universe" Rachel shuddered. "And the fact still remains that you are currently blocking off my parking space."
"I thought we'd already established that I wasn't going to move" said Puck lazily. "And while I don't give a shit about being late for class, I've got a feeling you do."
Right on cue, the bell rang. He looked pointedly at the small crowd of students hurrying into the school building and then back to Rachel with a wicked grin.
"Noah, you've made me late!" Rachel exclaimed with genuine concern. He rolled his eyes at her alarmed expression.
"You seriously need to chill, Berry."
"You may not care about your attendance record, but I do" she told him grimly. "Which, for you information, was exemplary until today."
"I'm ecstatic" he muttered. Rachel began riffling through the bag on the seat next to her, eventually pulling out her homework diary and flicking to the calendar at the back.
"Next to every day that I was present at registration you will find a gold star" she explained, slightly hectically. "Note that there is a star next to every date. Now, due to your childish antics, you have ruined my reputation for punctuality."
"The fuck, Berry?" he grunted, looking at the diary she'd thrust in his face in disbelief. She'd officially gone from weird to totally insane. Who the shit cared that much about attendance?
"The gold stars are for motivation" Rachel continued, seemingly undeterred by his disgust. "Qualities such as good timekeeping should be rewarded so as to further encourage them."
Puck ran a hand over his Mohawk, completely at a loss. If she'd been a dude, he'd have pounded her to a pulp for uttering the previous sentence.
"I've been trying to convince Mr Schue to produce a star chart for glee club" she said excitedly. "I think it would serve as an excellent means to promote extra rehearsals."
"Oh God, just stop" he groaned. "I can't take any more."
Rachel opened her mouth, about to berate his unenthusiastic attitude when he was saved by the arrival of Matt and Mike.
"Yo Puckerman!" called Mike, grinning at his friend. The two guys stopped on the sidewalk to wait for him and started laughing at the way his truck was parked diagonally across the space.
"The lines are there for a reason you know" Matt told him in amusement.
"Are you drunk again man?" Mike asked suspiciously.
"Nope" he grinned.
"Cuz I thought we'd talked to you about that" Mike continued sternly. "That time you hit on Miss Sylvester was ugly…"
"Dude, she's ancient!" Matt grimaced, scrunching up his nose.
"Plus beer for breakfast is like, so not a good diet" said Mike wisely. "I read that it causes cancer or some shit."
"Yeah, it might have vitamins, but where's the protein?" Matt agreed.
Puck shook his head, wondering how his friends weren't completely flunking school when they were so god damn thick.
"I'm not drunk" he repeated, rolling his eyes.
Mike looked back at the truck. "Then why – ?"
"Why don't cha ask Berry" he said casually, shooting Rachel a smirk.
"Why would I ask – Oh, hey Rachel" said Mike, spotting her car on the other side of the truck. "You ok?"
"Good morning Mike" she said tightly, glaring back at the Mohawked boy with as much disapproval as she could muster. She was entirely unsurprised that he would do something as reckless as consuming alcohol before school. This was the boy who'd crowd surfed at the last glee concert – totally inappropriate and violating just about a million health and safety codes.
Mike's eyes travelled from Rachel's black expression to Puck's smug one. "Er dude?" he asked slowly. "What the hell did you do?"
"Acted in the most ungentlemanly manner I've ever witnessed!" Rachel cut in before he could say anything. "Attempting to crash into me and then proceeding to insult my driving skills whilst detaining me from class."
"Yeah and you loved it Berry" said Puck, winking at her. "Not all girls get this much of my attention."
Rachel let out a harsh laugh. "Don't think you can pull that kind of crap with me Noah" she retorted frostily. "From what I've heard practically all the Cheerio's have received your "attention", as you so delicately put it."
Puck raised an eyebrow at her flushed face and angry expression then muttered something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like "jealous much".
Rachel spluttered. "What? No! Of course not. The mere suggestion that –"
"Then how come you're still here?" he said, folding his arms in a gesture that clearly stated "point proven".
Rachel gaped at him. "Because you're IN MY SPACE!" she finally shrieked. "YOU UTTERLY DEPLORABLE IMBECILE."
After this little outburst she immediately felt ashamed. It was obvious Puck was deliberately trying to get under her skin and she was playing right into his hands, giving him the satisfaction of a reaction. Matt and Mike were staring with open mouths.
"Err, I'm sorry about that" she said quickly, looking down at the ground in embarrassment. "It's just that Noah can be incredibly frustrating at times."
Mike's wary expression cleared and he chuckled. "Yeah, don't we know it" he said, giving Puck a friendly punch on the shoulder. Puck frowned – so much for bro loyalty.
"I didn't mean to raise my voice with you present" Rachel added, giving Mike an apologetic smile. "I don't usually have such volatile emotions."
"Nah, its cool" the Asian guy shrugged.
"I'll just go find another parking space then. See you later at Glee club." She waved at the two boys as she reversed off the sidewalk, pointedly blanking Puck.
"Told you she was crazy" he grumbled as she drove away.
"Stop being such a douche" said Mike, frowning at Puck's back as he climbed out the truck. "Rachel's not that bad y'know."
Puck turned round and gave his friend a pained look. "Dude, this is Rachel Berry we're talking about. Rachel Berry."
"Yeah I know" said Mike brightly. "And she might be a little bit psycho 'bout singing and shit, but she's alright the rest of the time."
"Plus she makes insanely good cookies" Matt put in. "Remember those ones she brought to Glee the other day?"
"Aww man, they were sweet!"
Puck sighed. It seemed his friends had been won over by Rachel's "apology cookies" that she'd made after coming back from the Play (he was still fucked off about that). But this wasn't much of a surprise when you considered how mental they went over food. Christ, he'd seen Mike cry when there weren't any burgers left in the canteen.
"Actually, I think I might have left a bag of chips in my locker" Matt was saying.
"Let's go" said Mike happily, and they highfived before setting off towards school.
"Wouldn't want to be late" Puck deadpanned, sticking his hands in his pockets and following after them.
The other two left him once they'd got through the front doors, off in search of Matt's elusive snack and Puck wandered down the corridor to class, figuring that he should at least make an appearance at registration. He was rounding a corner when he ran smack into Rachel, who was extremely flustered.
"I'm so sorr – oh, it's you." She looked up at him accusingly before bending down to pick up the folder she'd dropped on impact.
"No problem" he said casually, "I'm used to girls throwing themselves at me."
She made a disgusted noise at his reply and pushed past him.
"Err, Berry?"
"What?" she spun round, looking extremely irritated.
Puck tried not to laugh. "Class is the other way."
She closed her eyes for a moment and seemed to draw on some inner patience because when she started speaking her voice was only tinged with annoyance.
"I'm aware of that Noah, but I need to get something from my locker."
"I'll come with" he offered, taking her folder from her and putting it under his arm.
"Um…" Rachel faltered, stunned by his sudden gallantry. "Ok."
They set off back in the other direction, Rachel shooting Puck suspicious glances as he sauntered alongside her, his expression amused but unreadable.
"So, what'cha leave behind?" he asked.
"My pencil case."
"Huh."
Rachel hesitated for a minute. "And you're here because?" she asked as they reached her locker (which Puck was disgusted to find was a lurid pink colour on the inside.)
"That's just the kind of guy I am" he said casually, leaning against the wall and folding his arms.
"Noah. I don't mean to be disrespectful, but that's the biggest load of rubbish I've heard in my life" Rachel snapped.
He broke into an unholy grin and she shuddered at his expression, deciding that something which made Noah Puckerman look that happy was most definitely bad news for her. "So are you going to tell me the real reason you've come with me?" she asked tentatively.
He made no reply but cocked an eyebrow and looked her lazily up and down in a way that made her feel incredibly dirty.
"What are you doing?" she demanded, grabbing back her folder from him and holding it defensively in front of her chest.
"You know this whole "detaining you from class" shit?" he said mockingly as he pushed himself off the wall.
"Yes…" she answered uncertainly as they headed back down the corridor.
"I was wondering what detained meant."
"Oh" she sighed in relief. "Well the dictionary definition is technically locked up or behind bars –"
Puck opened his mouth to speak.
"And don't make some crass comment about that being kinky" she added quickly.
He closed it again.
"But I was using it in the sense of being delayed" Rachel finished.
Puck shook his head, grinning wider. "That's not what I'm getting at."
"Then what are you getting at?" she asked impatiently.
"Just that the others could easily misinterpret "detained" for "stayed out in the car park to make out with the hot football stud"" he said, shrugging nonchalantly.
Rachel's brow furrowed in confusion. "What could possibly give them –"
She broke off as he put an arm round her waist and pulled her tight against him. Shocked, she tried to wriggle free, but his hold was too strong.
"What are you doing?" she hissed, desperately looking around in the hope that a teacher would pass by and rescue her. They were getting dangerously close to their form room and he didn't seem to be letting go.
"Giving everyone something to talk about" he murmured in her ear and pushed open the classroom door with his foot, dragging her in behind him.
The class looked up. Finn, who was sitting at the back of the room and doodling on his Spanish homework, was only slightly surprised to see his best friend wrapped around the girl he supposedly hated – it was Puck after all – and raised an eyebrow. Kurt looked ridiculously excited and immediately exchanged a significant glance with Tina before bending his head towards her so they could discuss everything they'd ever suspected about their fellow glee clubbers. Santana's expression turned ugly as Puck smirked down at Rachel. Whispering broke out across the room.
"Quiet everyone! Er, Puck? Rachel?" Mr Schue was sitting on his desk, apparently half way through taking the register. He looked at the two teenagers in surprise.
"'Sup, Mr Schue" said Puck, letting go of Rachel and sauntering to the back of the room to take his seat next to Finn. Mr Schue decided to overlook this, as Noah being late was as normal as Kurt wearing leopard print or strange exotic feathers to school (he made it a point never to discriminate against students, but sometimes he wondered how many peacocks had died in the making of that boy's wardrobe.) Instead, he turned to Rachel who was still standing at the front of the class, her cheeks flushed.
"Rachel?" he said again. "Why are you late?"
"Erm…" For once in her life, Rachel's impressive vocabulary seemed to desert her. "We had a little trouble in the parking lot" she said lamely, her eyes flicking to Puck, who was tipping back in his chair with his feet propped up on the desk, a smug expression on his face.
"Are you alright?" Mr Schue asked, starting to get concerned by her lack of response.
"Yes, thank you" she said, not looking at her classmates as she walked over to the front row and sat down next to Artie.
"Ok, Good" said Mr Schue, deciding he'd speak to her later at Glee Club and see if anything was the matter. "Let's carry on with the register."
As he continued to call out names, Finn leaned across his desk to talk to Puck.
"Dude, what was that about? I thought you hated Rachel."
"I do. We just had a little trouble in the parking lot" he quoted, smirking to himself as Finn turned his attention back to drawing sombrero wearing zombies.
Please R & R :)