AN: The title says it all!
Enjoy everybody!
Oh, and don't take things too seriously. Think of this as an Omake File, of sorts.
Disclaimer: I do not own pokemon, or anything else I reference. Not that they'd want it.
The Fabulous Misadventures!
Red and Ash
or Meet the Cast of This Plot Bunny That I Had to Get Out of My Head in Order to Let Me Continue Writing My Other Stories for You Guys
Red looked up from his newspaper to watch the screaming boy run though the room yet again. Ash was screaming about his breakfast being too cold. Red snorted. "Spoiled brat." He turned back to his newspaper.
"Red! Help! I'm on fire!" The screaming, flaming boy shouted at the top of his lungs, leaving burned carpet in his wake.
Red didn't look up. "That's nice, Ash," he murmured, ignoring the acrid smell of fire.
Pikachu rung the doorbell. "I'll get it!" Mewtwo called happily, running to the door and opening it.
Pikachu, carrying his big bags disguised to look like grocery bags with little bags inside, looked at the burning boy, was was now screaming about the zombie mankeys that would bring the heat. "So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?" Pikachu asked his best (only) friend, Brendan. Brendan shrugged. "Oh, yeah, you're mute. Sorry, best friend."
Brendan made a few hand motions that would be interpreted correctly as 'I hate everybody in this house. I am not your best friend, yellow snack.' Pikachu, unable to read sign language, read it as, 'Pika-buddy, I love you. Ketchup?'
"Oh, yes, baby! While I was out, I got my... stuff... from that dude who lives in the basement. You know him- tall, dark suit, no face?" Pikachu said, drawing Ash's notice.
"Pikachu! I'm on fire! Put me out!"
Pikachu stared at Ash. He then turned to Bulbasaur, who was, as usual, standing on the ceiling. "So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?"
"Ash set himself on fire."
"I mean anything unusual?"
Bulbasaur pointed a vine at the back door. "Squirtle-"
"SquirtleMon," said pokemon called as he poked his head up though the hole in the floor, before calling back down, "Dugdug! Why aren't we in Japan yet?!"
A voice called up, "The tauros are being lazy again! The tauros are being lazy again! The tauros are being lazy again!"
"Well, get them to move faster! Tell em that Mr. S is coming, and he wants a big hole!" Squirtle shouted, before muttering loudly as he went back down, "Nothing shall stop me from reaching the motherland. Masashi, here I come!"
Bulbasaur, used to this, continued. "SquirtleMon, as he calls himself right now, stole the pool."
"How and why?" Pikachu deadpanned, used to SquirtleMon in general. After living with that freak with five personalities, none of them normal, for five years or so, he had to be.
"I think that he got Latias to help him. That girl'll do anything for a klondike bar. And I really don't want to figure out why he did it. Now, I'm going to go back upstairs to go learn more ways to use vine whip. Man, I wish Leaf-"
"She's ten!" Rio called, in a bitter struggle against the massive tyranitar.
Bulbasaur shrugged, before crawling though the lightbulb and going into his crib.
Ash finally had a brilliant idea. Running outside, he ran over to the place where Red had put the pool, and jumped. He landed on the dirt that one held the pool, before Mr. S stole it.
Noticing a hole in the side of the... pit that was once the pool, Ash realized what must have happened. Pulling out a pokeball, he summoned the mighty dragon. "Magikarp! We must pursue the evil Stevel!"
Pikachu walked over to the edge of the pit. "Sorry, this was Mr. S. By the way, SquirtleMon's underground, trying to get to Japan, and the town's gone."
"Again?"
"Nothing new ever happens," Pikachu retorted, before looking up. A giant meteor from space was hurtling down at him. "Ah, and there's the two thirty shuttle."
"It's already two thirty? I was cooking toast back at nine!"
Pikachu blinked. "And you still have your pants on? That must be a record."
"Yeah, the fangirls haven't come by yet. And the fanboys, luckily." Ash looked at the road, as if fearing that invoking their name would summon them. He saw nothing.
"Wait, wait, wait. Don't they usually put you with-"
"Every character in this series and not in it? Yeah."
"Even the fanboys?"
"Yeah. You remember Naruto?" Ash asked.
"Yeah, believe it," Pikachu's face fell into a mask of horror, before he slapped himself. "No! No relapses!"
Ash sweatdropped as he watched his pokemon beat itself up, before he shrugged and looked up to the edge of the pit, where Red was standing. Red was not amused.
"Ash, you appear to be on fire."
Ash looked down at his (still burning) body and called back, "Huh... I guess I am. Is that a problem?"
"No," Red replied, tranquil fury etched on his face. He continued, "The problem is that I hear somebody screaming in the attic!"
Ash shouted quickly, "I didn't do it!"
"You kn- Wait, you didn't?"
Ash shook his (flaming) head. "Nope, I couldn't find today's victim, so I decided to do it twice tomorrow. You say that she's up in the attic?"
Red shrugged. "No idea. Sounds like she's in trouble."
Ash stood tall, the flames from his body providing dramatic lighting that made him look like a true hero. He declared proudly, in a tone of voice that would make the angels weep with gladness, and could shatter the hearts of all who listened, "Then we, the royal we, us few, proud, unconquerable beings, we have a mission, nay, a self appointed task from Arceus! We must go forth, boldly, to where none have gone before, to fight, to conquer, and to show those who would, on the day that is today, believe us not capable to fulfilling this task! We are strong, we are mighty, and we have never failed before!
"There may be yet a day when we falter, when we stumble, when we feel that we cannot continue on our quest. But that day is not today! We may one day have to stop, to turn back, to give up. But that day is not today! We may one day lose to a being mightier than us, one who opposes us and wishes to see a world in flames and fear, just as I am as I speak to you. But that day is not today! This is not a day when we lose, when we falter, when we stumble, when we must return to our homes and cry ourselves to sleep!
"For ours is the world! We are the true Chosen of Arceus, those who must put right that which has gone wrong, and those who fear no evil! We may walk through the realm of shadows, the land of darkness, the canyon of despair and the valley of death, the island of failure and shortcomings, but we will persevere and we will come out mostly unscathed! Nobody can stop us, for we are those who destroy all who oppose us!
"We may have lost friends on our ventures. Good friends. Those who, for a time, we thought we could not live without. We live with sorrow and tears every day. Bitterness is in our drink, and salted is our food. But we remember them. We have no regrets, no last words. All we have are memories, and for that I thank those who have gone before us, and all of you. Thanks for the memories, my dearest friends, and I love them all, even the ones that are not as good as others. But we remember, and we celebrate the lives of those who have gone before us, and they give us the strength to carry on each and every day!
"For they remind us what we fight for! They remind us that we can never, not once, give up! Never can we lose hope, because that would be a dishonor to those that have struggled and died for us! That is who we are! And so, they have given us the gifts, the strength, the power, the courage, and the choice, most importantly, to carry on! And I know something! I! WILL! CARRY! ON! What we have been given is in our blood, and let the rage that is in our blood awaken to carry us through!
"We may have no arms (AN: Weapon arms. They do have their arms, as in limbs.), but that does not mean that we are weaponless! We have three things that we use every day! Our minds, the source of our wisdom and our will! We shall use it to know the enemy better than we know ourselves, and that is how we can break them! Our bodies, the source and outlet of our strength! With these limbs, I will show the foes that I face why it is so considered a horrible idea to try me! Our bodies are our anchors, so that when we know the enemy better than ourselves, we still have something tying us to our mortal roots. And lastly, our hearts. This is what keeps us alive, the source of our emotions, which can, and will, give us the strength to go forth! It is the emotions of the heart that allow us to know from our minds what is truly important, and also the emotions that give us willpower in our hands! We shall go forth, with joy and love of battle in our hearts!
"And so, some may say, what do we stand for. I say that we stand for the joy that is battle, the power that is in peace, and the happiness that man seeks. For we are the spear of Arceus that shall pierce the heavens, and bring back that which is needed and right! And to those who doubt us, I have but one question. Who the hell do you think we are?!
"We are the chosen ones, the heroes of old! I, Ash Ketchum, last of the true Aura Knights, and the heir to the Island Throne, shall march! And with me is Lord Pikachu, my most faithful companion, He-Who-Has-Been-Touched-By-Thunder, and the ruler of all Kanto Pikachudom! My mentor and strongest friend, Red, the Lord of Kanto marches with me! Who, if they dare, will stand by me?"
The group that lived in the house cheered as one, having all walked out. Red, tears streaming from his eyes, came to stand next to Ash, Pikachu already at Ash's side. Red reached over to Ash.
And slapped him. "Eight out of ten. You can do better!"
A second later, SQ started to laugh as he watched Red hop around with a burning hand. Charizard and his two 'friends', Charla and Zardla, watched the turtle pokemon warily. After a few minutes, the only sane woman, Muk, hit SQ and demanded that he put out their two trainers.
SQ glared at Muk. "Don'tcha touch me! You know who I be? I be da King of da Seas!"
Dugdug, Zam, Toto, Daunter, all thirty tauros, Torkoal, and Free deapanned as one, "And nobody messes with the king of the seas."
SQ whirled to glare at his slav- followers. "What was dat!? You got to say it wit Flaiah. Like dis, King o' th' Seaz!"
Snor looked over. "As much as I do enjoy a conversation, I find myself questioning whether you all realize the severity of this predicament. My dear Squirtle-" said pokemon shouted, "The name be SQ, you fat bear!". Snor ignored him, and continued in his sophisticated British accent, "You do understand that, should our beloved trainers pass from this world, we will be left homeless, and you will be repossessed?"
All the assembled pokemon gasped, and said as one, "Repossessed!"
"Indeed. And such a fate shall come to pass, as my mate here has prophesied. Unless, of course, Squirtle here is willing to put out our trainers," Snorlax said, coming to stand behind his fellow snorlax, a monocle on his right eye.
SQ, shuddering under the intensity of the glares, suddenly seemed to change before their eyes. His shell became pitch black, his skin bluer, his eyes brighter. He stood tall, and called with all the power that was present within his body, "Now! Hydro slam!"
The wave of water filled up the pit that Red and Ash were running around in, while dousing their flames. As the water receded, a yellow blur slammed into Hydrotle, sending the turtle flying, lightning crackling around his shell.
Pikachu stood, panting and wet. "YOU!" He shouted, looking at Hydrotle.
Hydrotle slowly got up, wiping his mouth. "Me," he agreed.
The two stood looking at each other, silence filling the skies. After a while, Hydrotle yawned, and asked, "So, what did you want, my rival?"
"You got me WET!"
"So..." Hydrotle looked slightly hopeful as he said, "Does this mean that we're going to fight?"
Pikachu was seething. "If by fight, you mean I beat on you until the sun goes down, then yes!"
"Excellent!"
In the pit, Ash and Red stood up, attracting the attention of all but the mouse and turtle that were about to do battle. Ash, picking up where the two left off before the whole 'screaming and running while on fire' part, asked, "If you think that, give me a better speech!"
Red nodded, before looking up at the pokemon lining the edges of the pit. "Friends! There is screaming in the attic and there should not be! I'm gonna check it out. It's something new, so who's with me?"
The pokemon shouted at the top of their _ "Aye!"
Red stormed off, taking the herd of pokemon, the pool, and Mr. S with him, leaving behind three.
A furious Pikachu.
A sorrowful, and envious of his mentor's masterful speaking skills, Ash.
And a confused reader.
Going through their minds were the following:
Pikachu, 'Hydrotle will die by my hand, for I cannot live while he survives.'
Ash, 'I will one day surpass Master! For it is my destiny, and the destiny of all my friends! The previous generation surpasses the next! Wait, or was it that the previous generation is surpassed by the next? Anyways, I will succeed, and thus...'
The reader, 'What did I just read? Must have been a way for Takuto to get plot bunnies out of her head, so that she can get back to writing the good stuff that we all know and love. And hey, you know what? I should leave a review on this story. No, make that all three of her active stories. No make that three reviews for all her stories. Yeah, that sounds right.'
And so, the Fabulous Misadventure of Red and Ash concluded. They had had a good one, and they would continue to be involved in more Misadventures, but mostly Ash was involved.
Oh, and the screaming? It was a fanboy, who Bulbasaur had tied up and left in the attic.