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From, The Bullied
written by ejo
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
—Maya Angelou
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Summary: Like air, she shall rise.
Behind a smile lies a tear, behind some laughter is a cry and behind this exterior of trying to be strong is just a girl, waiting for herself to break down. I'm not trying to win a drama award, I'm just here to tell you my tale.
Six months and counting, I have been trying to build up this façade. A wall to let everyone think I'm all right and everything's perfect. If only they could see the swelling pain beneath this forced smile that I have been wearing for a countless of times. Of course they wouldn't see it. I have been trying to hide it and to tell you the truth, I'm doing a perfect job.
My parents are far away and I couldn't tell them what I'm undergoing through. Perhaps I'm too scared that they might worry about me or it's just my pride as a supposed-to-be perfect daughter. Sometimes late at night, I could hear their distant whispering voices ordering me to sit up straight or to focus on my studies or even try to detach myself from friendship.
My mother, Yuka Azumi, is a popular girl back in her younger years. With beauty that captures every single man and a sweet personality that allures them, she is truly one remarkable person in their lives. Sadly, she believes I can grow up the matching her. I turn out to be a disappointment when she figures that I couldn't be the same as her. My father, Izumi Yukihara, is a mind-driven man who pursues too much in life. His notable wit and charming, free-going personality captivated my mother. When he finally understands that I couldn't go beyond his expectations, he labeled me as a disappointment.
Mikan Sakura (n) – A disappointment.
Check, done that.
Even in a crowded room, sometimes you feel that you're alone and no one's there for you. With heavy music blasting right at your eyes and swinging lime lights before you, you still feel alone. You know why? Because you ARE alone.
In a class of forty students, surely there'll be small groups of cliques and status quos that aren't meant to be touched. I find myself in a situation, trapped between two groups—the elites and the losers. I don't mean to brand anyone, but it's the way the flow goes. Everyone knows that there'll always be two opposite ends.
When you find the lesser group as comfortable for you, the self-claimed and you-claimed elites will distance themselves from you. And when the lesser group finds you incompatible with them, you have no choice but to distance yourself away from them. Now, you're in a circle and you have no one to be with. You find yourself as…
Mikan Sakura (n) – An outcast.
Check, done that.
They say everyone is loved. They say that you're rich with God's unconditional love, but what if you believe there's no God at all? Who then will love you unconditionally?
Psst, no one will.
There comes I time I have fallen in love, but only to find my heart shattered into pieces. The sound of my own crying makes me pity myself more. Through the yawns and drowsiness, I blame my teary eyes when deep inside I feel like I want to cry out loud.
What happened to those people who told me they're in love with me? Where is Ruka? Where did Natsume go? Where are they? You know, deep down, they have already left you. When time flies and love depletes, sometimes you forgot what it feels like to love someone. And when another one comes along, you find yourself unable to trust him. Then, they tell you that you can't love others when you don't know how to love yourself. Hurtfully, you believe they're right.
Mikan Sakura (n) – Unloved.
Check, done that.
I can't tell anything to anybody. I can't tell this to my family, to my friends and… and… no one's left there anymore, isn't it?
You can't forget those painful words they told you, those stupid antics and those mocking faces. You know they're trying to bring you down and expectedly you're getting carried away. Why you? Why you? There are better candidates than you for them to tease, for them to hurt and for them to mock.
Why does it have to be you?
Oh, right, I forgot.
Mikan Sakura (n) – Unwanted.
Your parents—Yuka and Izumi—finds you as a disappointment, the lesser group—Anna, Yuu and Nonoko—leaves you, those boys—Natsume and Ruka—have forgotten about you and those bullies make you feel unwanted.
I want to leave high school already.
There's still college.
Could you go through it all over again?
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No.
I thought so, Sakura, I thought so.
Dear Parents,
Sorry if I'm a disappointment for you. I can't turn out to be the way you guys thought I'm supposed to be. Frankly, I'm thankful you guys brought me into this world. Just wait, my life is still not over, I believe I still could do things that'll make you proud.
From,
Your daughter.
Mikan Sakura (n) – A beginning.
Dear Classmates and Fake Friends,
You are going to regret. May you wallow in your own filth and may you realize you completely miss out the growth of a soon-to-be famous person. Just so you know, I'm glad I won't be seeing your faces anymore. A change of environment, I guess?
From,
Your previous classmate.
P.S. I'm not going to give you an autograph if you ask me for one.
Mikan Sakura (n) – A legend.
Dear Stupid Boys / Exes
You're a waste of time.
From,
The girl you wished you had.
Mikan Sakura (n) – Fought for.
Dear Bullies,
Karma will eat you and spit you out and then eat you again, I hope it swallows you and may you find yourself unable to get out. I hope you don't experience this situation I'm going through, I just hope you undergo worse than this.
From,
The bullied.
Mikan Sakura (n) – A fighter.
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This Is Just The Beginning
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A/N: Hello there! So what do you think of it? :) Don't forget to review. :D